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Quite amazed at...

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By *xstephbxx OP   Couple
over a year ago

hyde

The amount of people on this site who dont visit or use the forums....

We have met quite a few couples who when asked, didn't even realise there was such a popular forum on here !. We have now made a point of when meeting couples etc to just metion that they do exist and can be just as good a place to get to know/meet someone as any cam room or sometimes even clubs !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find this on a lot of sites. On one site I ran I changed the colour of the forum button in the main menu, so it stood out & was amazed how many new posters there was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we were on here for over 12months before I even looked at Forums, but since then it seems I'm in evertyday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As im not as quick at typing in the chatrooms to keep up i find the forums a great place to get to know someones personality and sense of humour xxx Lois xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again."

point proven I think

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!


"As im not as quick at typing in the chatrooms to keep up i find the forums a great place to get to know someones personality and sense of humour xxx Lois xxx"

I`m the same as you! I find the chatroom confusing ( and being here allows thinking time! Also, being a single guy, anything extra I can do to show my personality more has to be good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We find the forums to be very interesting and is probably our favorite part of the site

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By *prite128Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

I really enjoy the forums as i find chat a bit daunting, unless you hide in the Canada room with just a few of you nattering !

at least I have people to chat to on a Saturday night when I'm in wishing I was out lol

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again.

point proven I think "

to prove your case in an instant , without any evidence was a masterpiece

next time i need a solicitor please expect a phone call

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

When I want to find playmates I look at profiles.

When I want to take the piss I use the forums.

I find you can look at profiles and take the piss, but the forums are pretty crap for finding playmates... hence lots of people not using the forum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again.

point proven I think

to prove your case in an instant , without any evidence was a masterpiece

next time i need a solicitor please expect a phone call "

Thank you, but I think we all know these forums are very cliquey indeed, same people, same posts.... any wonder why people dont want to visit!! some one new makes a valid comment and they are ignored, a regular comes out with some inane rubbish and it becomes the subject of 20+ replies...

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"

Thank you, but I think we all know these forums are very cliquey indeed, same people, same posts.... any wonder why people dont want to visit!! some one new makes a valid comment and they are ignored, a regular comes out with some inane rubbish and it becomes the subject of 20+ replies... "

Are you talking about the forums or the chatrooms?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both really, chat rooms are worse though.. in fact this is really just an extension of the chat room as many people have already alluded too. dont get me wrong, i prefer the forums because i actually enjoy reading some of the inane crap that frequents these pages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/07/10 22:12:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again."

Sadly, my initial thought when I read the OP!

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again.

point proven I think

to prove your case in an instant , without any evidence was a masterpiece

next time i need a solicitor please expect a phone call

Thank you, but I think we all know these forums are very cliquey indeed, same people, same posts.... any wonder why people dont want to visit!! some one new makes a valid comment and they are ignored, a regular comes out with some inane rubbish and it becomes the subject of 20+ replies... "

if you belong to a golf club and get to know a few people , as some on here do when they visit swinging clubs etc , thats life

so then as a golf player you go on a nationwide golf site and see a few of your mates posting in the forums what are you supposed to do , ignore them ?

of course you get cliquey posts oh here

what would you do if a buddy you met with at a club 2 days ago starts a thread saying what should i have for breakfast

my bet is you would put a reply in saying something like

"have a sausage like you did the other day HA HA HA"

life is not fair

the threads are not fair

just get on with it like i do

hey .............. thats kinda funny

swinging club vs golf club

same thing really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again.

point proven I think

to prove your case in an instant , without any evidence was a masterpiece

next time i need a solicitor please expect a phone call

Thank you, but I think we all know these forums are very cliquey indeed, same people, same posts.... any wonder why people dont want to visit!! some one new makes a valid comment and they are ignored, a regular comes out with some inane rubbish and it becomes the subject of 20+ replies...

if you belong to a golf club and get to know a few people , as some on here do when they visit swinging clubs etc , thats life

so then as a golf player you go on a nationwide golf site and see a few of your mates posting in the forums what are you supposed to do , ignore them ?

of course you get cliquey posts oh here

what would you do if a buddy you met with at a club 2 days ago starts a thread saying what should i have for breakfast

my bet is you would put a reply in saying something like

"have a sausage like you did the other day HA HA HA"

life is not fair

the threads are not fair

just get on with it like i do

hey .............. thats kinda funny

swinging club vs golf club

same thing really"

i will get on with it, like i said, only visit to read the inane crap

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again.

point proven I think

to prove your case in an instant , without any evidence was a masterpiece

next time i need a solicitor please expect a phone call

Thank you, but I think we all know these forums are very cliquey indeed, same people, same posts.... any wonder why people dont want to visit!! some one new makes a valid comment and they are ignored, a regular comes out with some inane rubbish and it becomes the subject of 20+ replies...

if you belong to a golf club and get to know a few people , as some on here do when they visit swinging clubs etc , thats life

so then as a golf player you go on a nationwide golf site and see a few of your mates posting in the forums what are you supposed to do , ignore them ?

of course you get cliquey posts oh here

what would you do if a buddy you met with at a club 2 days ago starts a thread saying what should i have for breakfast

my bet is you would put a reply in saying something like

"have a sausage like you did the other day HA HA HA"

life is not fair

the threads are not fair

just get on with it like i do

hey .............. thats kinda funny

swinging club vs golf club

same thing really

i will get on with it, like i said, only visit to read the inane crap "

fill your boots there is a plethora on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again.

point proven I think

to prove your case in an instant , without any evidence was a masterpiece

next time i need a solicitor please expect a phone call

Thank you, but I think we all know these forums are very cliquey indeed, same people, same posts.... any wonder why people dont want to visit!! some one new makes a valid comment and they are ignored, a regular comes out with some inane rubbish and it becomes the subject of 20+ replies...

if you belong to a golf club and get to know a few people , as some on here do when they visit swinging clubs etc , thats life

so then as a golf player you go on a nationwide golf site and see a few of your mates posting in the forums what are you supposed to do , ignore them ?

of course you get cliquey posts oh here

what would you do if a buddy you met with at a club 2 days ago starts a thread saying what should i have for breakfast

my bet is you would put a reply in saying something like

"have a sausage like you did the other day HA HA HA"

life is not fair

the threads are not fair

just get on with it like i do

hey .............. thats kinda funny

swinging club vs golf club

same thing really

i will get on with it, like i said, only visit to read the inane crap

fill your boots there is a plethora on here "

ohhh yes, noticed that already and also how easily some people get wound up

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

If you like winding people up so much just make sure you don't mind the backlash from it

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


"ohhh yes, noticed that already and also how easily some people get wound up "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you like winding people up so much just make sure you don't mind the backlash from it"

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


"If you like winding people up so much just make sure you don't mind the backlash from it

"

You may find though that winding people up isn't a good way to get on with folk and is no way to be "learning the ropes and seeking advice" as you put on another forum.

Again, just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again."

Totally true.there are the regular dick or dicketts(no pun intended!!)who in there self given dictatorship assume they are in control of this fine way of chatting/meeting genuine down to earth lovely peeps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you like winding people up so much just make sure you don't mind the backlash from it

You may find though that winding people up isn't a good way to get on with folk and is no way to be "learning the ropes and seeking advice" as you put on another forum.

Again, just my opinion. "

opinion noted, but forums (as i have found out) are not really the place to meet people (see previous posts) think the responses that we have recieved from what are actually perfectly normal questions determine the usual trait of the forums... in fact in the space of about an hour i have learnt quite a lot and i do actually sincerely thank you all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again.

Totally true.there are the regular dick or dicketts(no pun intended!!)who in there self given dictatorship assume they are in control of this fine way of chatting/meeting genuine down to earth lovely peeps."

thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again.

Totally true.there are the regular dick or dicketts(no pun intended!!)who in there self given dictatorship assume they are in control of this fine way of chatting/meeting genuine down to earth lovely peeps."

So all the regulars are dicks or dicketts?

How nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again.

point proven I think

to prove your case in an instant , without any evidence was a masterpiece

next time i need a solicitor please expect a phone call

Thank you, but I think we all know these forums are very cliquey indeed, same people, same posts.... any wonder why people dont want to visit!! some one new makes a valid comment and they are ignored, a regular comes out with some inane rubbish and it becomes the subject of 20+ replies... "

AS i said the dictatorship!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you like winding people up so much just make sure you don't mind the backlash from it

You may find though that winding people up isn't a good way to get on with folk and is no way to be "learning the ropes and seeking advice" as you put on another forum.

Again, just my opinion.

opinion noted, but forums (as i have found out) are not really the place to meet people (see previous posts) think the responses that we have recieved from what are actually perfectly normal questions determine the usual trait of the forums... in fact in the space of about an hour i have learnt quite a lot and i do actually sincerely thank you all "

I was meaning start chatting then if progression within the chat amounts to a nice and worth while meet then brill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again.

point proven I think

to prove your case in an instant , without any evidence was a masterpiece

next time i need a solicitor please expect a phone call

Thank you, but I think we all know these forums are very cliquey indeed, same people, same posts.... any wonder why people dont want to visit!! some one new makes a valid comment and they are ignored, a regular comes out with some inane rubbish and it becomes the subject of 20+ replies...

AS i said the dictatorship!!"

AS i said, thankyou

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think people do know the site exists and do visit it, but we find it cand be very cliquey on these forums.... hence they do not post or visit again.

Totally true.there are the regular dick or dicketts(no pun intended!!)who in there self given dictatorship assume they are in control of this fine way of chatting/meeting genuine down to earth lovely peeps.

So all the regulars are dicks or dicketts?

How nice

"

Sorry,i very much should have said the word some users!.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why we all cant just get along amazes the hell out of me xx

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


"Why we all cant just get along amazes the hell out of me xx "

Totally agree, there seems to be a hell of a lot of posts criticising the regular posters recently without whom the forums would be deathly quiet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why we all cant just get along amazes the hell out of me xx "

we can, just amazed how a simple question or honest comment results in a tirade of negativity, surely comments are for ALL opinions, not just the opinions of the 'regulars' think this whole thread has answered the initial question of why people do not visit or post in these forums...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why we all cant just get along amazes the hell out of me xx "

errrr because were human and we need to pick on people- not me you understand just the lesser mortals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why we all cant just get along amazes the hell out of me xx "

yes as this seems to be the 3rd post ive read where a general question results in snideness and i was leaving a comment on one forum post, clicked save only to find it had been closed by the moderators bloody quick they are, nothing gets passed their razor sharp wit and X-ray eyes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why we all cant just get along amazes the hell out of me xx "

Again from soapy-suds,right behind you on that last statement(not as it sounds!!!)

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I have to say that i for one welcome new posters to the forums ....but i would like to add that i cant help notice the latest trend of "regular forum poster bashing" lately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why we all cant just get along amazes the hell out of me xx

Totally agree, there seems to be a hell of a lot of posts criticising the regular posters recently without whom the forums would be deathly quiet! "

Might br quiet for that very reason???

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By *arracks7Couple
over a year ago

Now in Warrington

i dont post often but read forum re. its all fun n opinions no harm done n swingmates u make me laff so much never affended in anyway no matter wot peeps say

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Why we all cant just get along amazes the hell out of me xx

Totally agree, there seems to be a hell of a lot of posts criticising the regular posters recently without whom the forums would be deathly quiet! "
ooops didnt see your comment-SNAP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to say that i for one welcome new posters to the forums ....but i would like to add that i cant help notice the latest trend of "regular forum poster bashing" lately. "

If its becoming regular then does that not indicate an element of truth? not a criticism, just an observation!

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


"Why we all cant just get along amazes the hell out of me xx

Totally agree, there seems to be a hell of a lot of posts criticising the regular posters recently without whom the forums would be deathly quiet!

ooops didnt see your comment-SNAP "

That's ok my post was hidden among all of the other posts and easily missed

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I have to say that i for one welcome new posters to the forums ....but i would like to add that i cant help notice the latest trend of "regular forum poster bashing" lately.

If its becoming regular then does that not indicate an element of truth? not a criticism, just an observation!"
Observation noted and filed , everyone is entitled to their opinion, i for one will continue to post as i normally do, some think newbies get a hard time, ive been on these forums a long time, seen people come and go and come back again. Its easier for newbies to post than it ever was, look back in old threads and you will see for yourself, it has been generally a nicer place in recent months, but i must say that there has been a noticable increase in bitching and sniping in the last two weeks or so

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I have to say that I love new posters too but I have seen a trend of lets just post whinges and then wonder why people don't agree

Its no different on any forum on any site,swinging or otherwise

I took my time having a read through and getting to know my way around and feeling comfortable before I started posting

Never once did I think that the people that were regular poster were part of a clique,thats a shit word

I just saw a bunch of people that had got to know each other through the forums or from the socials and partys from here that had made friends over time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to say that i for one welcome new posters to the forums ....but i would like to add that i cant help notice the latest trend of "regular forum poster bashing" lately.

If its becoming regular then does that not indicate an element of truth? not a criticism, just an observation!Observation noted and filed , everyone is entitled to their opinion, i for one will continue to post as i normally do, some think newbies get a hard time, ive been on these forums a long time, seen people come and go and come back again. Its easier for newbies to post than it ever was, look back in old threads and you will see for yourself, it has been generally a nicer place in recent months, but i must say that there has been a noticable increase in bitching and sniping in the last two weeks or so "

Thank you, comments noted and filed, thank you so much for allowing us 'newbies' to join in, it is appreciated and we are all indebted to you, like i said, no bitching from us 'newbies' just a question, but obviously questions that touch a nerve are deemed as sniping and bitching... but once again thank you

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I have to say that i for one welcome new posters to the forums ....but i would like to add that i cant help notice the latest trend of "regular forum poster bashing" lately.

If its becoming regular then does that not indicate an element of truth? not a criticism, just an observation!Observation noted and filed , everyone is entitled to their opinion, i for one will continue to post as i normally do, some think newbies get a hard time, ive been on these forums a long time, seen people come and go and come back again. Its easier for newbies to post than it ever was, look back in old threads and you will see for yourself, it has been generally a nicer place in recent months, but i must say that there has been a noticable increase in bitching and sniping in the last two weeks or so

Thank you, comments noted and filed, thank you so much for allowing us 'newbies' to join in, it is appreciated and we are all indebted to you, like i said, no bitching from us 'newbies' just a question, but obviously questions that touch a nerve are deemed as sniping and bitching... but once again thank you "
Sarcasm noted and filed ...thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to say that i for one welcome new posters to the forums ....but i would like to add that i cant help notice the latest trend of "regular forum poster bashing" lately.

If its becoming regular then does that not indicate an element of truth? not a criticism, just an observation!Observation noted and filed , everyone is entitled to their opinion, i for one will continue to post as i normally do, some think newbies get a hard time, ive been on these forums a long time, seen people come and go and come back again. Its easier for newbies to post than it ever was, look back in old threads and you will see for yourself, it has been generally a nicer place in recent months, but i must say that there has been a noticable increase in bitching and sniping in the last two weeks or so

Thank you, comments noted and filed, thank you so much for allowing us 'newbies' to join in, it is appreciated and we are all indebted to you, like i said, no bitching from us 'newbies' just a question, but obviously questions that touch a nerve are deemed as sniping and bitching... but once again thank you Sarcasm noted and filed ...thank you "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What?! Are you serious? There's photos of naked chicks elsewhere on here for us to be checking out y'know?!

I pop in here every once in a while. Not a regular though. Agree that the chat room is cliquey and too fast for my liking but I have no real opinion on the forums yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am blocked by most of the forum regulars - that doesn't do anything to confirm that there are cliques since I am a very regular poster, true a lot of people have found friendship in the forums amongst the regulars but I personally don't think that regular posting gets you any special status, I guess I am more proof that it doesn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have to say that i for one welcome new posters to the forums ....but i would like to add that i cant help notice the latest trend of "regular forum poster bashing" lately.

If its becoming regular then does that not indicate an element of truth? not a criticism, just an observation!Observation noted and filed , everyone is entitled to their opinion, i for one will continue to post as i normally do, some think newbies get a hard time, ive been on these forums a long time, seen people come and go and come back again. Its easier for newbies to post than it ever was, look back in old threads and you will see for yourself, it has been generally a nicer place in recent months, but i must say that there has been a noticable increase in bitching and sniping in the last two weeks or so "

Perhaps its because the kids are off school for the next 6 weeks are some folks are stressed Ive also noticed that there has been an increase in youngsters sending me messages over the last couple of weeks, like they've time on their hands yet they are not school age, if that makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FORUMITES = Regular Posters.

REGULAR = ?????? monthly ,weekly ,daily?

NEWBIE = Someone Who is posting for the first time.

LURKER = Someone who reads secretly.

ASSUMPTION = What so many people indulge themselves in without any knowledge about anything.

PARANOIA = What creeps in when someone in their living room thinks everyone is having a jolly good old time in the ether when in fact they are also in their own fucking living room doing what everyone else is doing.

RIDICULOUS = Someone purporting to know the whereabouts of statistics that show how many site: users, lurkers, newbies, regulars etc actually 'get on' , 'are pals' and scare away a poor ole swinger who looked in and got spat on.

RIDICULOUS PUBLIC DISPLAY OF PARANOIA: When people allow themselves to form ideas that disturb their feelings based on sod all as they type in their own living room assuming people are up to all kinds behind their backs and then go and type it up as fact in a forum when it's nothing more than self indulgent insecurity fuelled anecdote.

HILARIOUS : Posters who come to their own defence when there is absolutely no need.

HIILARIOUSLY POINTLESS : See above

WELCOME : Everyone

INTERESTING : Posters who put a point of view that can be substantiated.

INTERESTING and ATTRACTIVE : Posters who can make me laugh with the ridiculous and have a very sexy FACE avatar OR a sillhouette OR a tasteful body shot.

UNNATRACTIVE to me cos lets face it it's all about me as much as other posters posts are all about them )

People who don't know the difference between opinion and tactless insult and people who 'percieve' others as up their own arses when they don't realise it is their own very low self esteem that makes them feel the way they feel. OH ....and posters who don't take responsibility for their own enjoyment but seek to blame others for their every mood even to the point of putting them in groups, naming those groups and blogging away that these groups actually exsist.

ORANGEY TUTTER : Granny eating marmalade and posting.

OUSTANDINGLY SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE MEMBERS: ( under construction ) and I don't mean the Jordaches.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grannie's on a roll..........

I find being a regular forumite, it's definitely a better place to get chatting/build up a rapport and getting 'meets'

Paddy xx

PS......morning all!

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

My perception of the word 'clique' is that it is used as a critical term, and its use always makes me angry. This is because my experience on this site, in my opinion, is absolute proof that no clique exists. In less than 3 months of posting I felt able to attend a social to meet some of the regular posters. Surely if it was a clique, I'd have been pushed away (plus as a single male, I'm not exactly the most welcome category)?

That was about six months ago.

Clique? Bollocks.....

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

...And it turns out the forum is a better way of getting meets than profiles, at least for me.

Which is somewhat surprising, but very pleasing!

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

AS an occasional poster, I disagree that this place is 'cliquey'

The more you post the more you become known, the mmore you become known the more 'friends' you have.

I have found people on here to be helpful, supportive and general good eggs.

OK people may not always agree with your ways or thoughts, but surely thats the same in life.

If you don't agree or like someone, keep your trap shut lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The forums are no different to any social groups in real life.

Some members gel better with others, and those who do not gel well will feel they are outsiders.

Those who do not gel well and claim it is due to cliques on here are usually those who do not have much of a online personality to speak of.

Always negative, argumentative, opinionated, condecending, etc., and at worst, downright rude!!!

Always the victum without any hint of irony. Quick to dish out the dirt, yet all hell breaks loose when the table is turned.

If one cannot stand the heat, get out of the kitchen I'd say!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My perception of the word 'clique' is that it is used as a critical term, and its use always makes me angry. This is because my experience on this site, in my opinion, is absolute proof that no clique exists. In less than 3 months of posting I felt able to attend a social to meet some of the regular posters. Surely if it was a clique, I'd have been pushed away (plus as a single male, I'm not exactly the most welcome category)?

That was about six months ago.

Clique? Bollocks....."

Here here lol i agree

(not sure about the clicky bollocks thou i would get them seen too xx)

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.


"

(not sure about the clicky bollocks thou i would get them seen too xx) "

I'll name that tune in 5

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regular posting does not bring special status or attention to a person.

A good personality does!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The amount of people on this site who dont visit or use the forums....

We have met quite a few couples who when asked, didn't even realise there was such a popular forum on here !. We have now made a point of when meeting couples etc to just metion that they do exist and can be just as good a place to get to know/meet someone as any cam room or sometimes even clubs !"

I used to work in online community management.

The expected figures for a community percentage to use a forum is approx 3%. the amount to visit occasionally is 8%. This barely even changes from community to community - you'll find the same % from video games, to second life, to bakery to swinging.

People, generally, do not like forums, this is an absolute given. Especially when it's "tacked on" to a site with use, such as this.

This is also the reason why if you read any given thread here, you'll see the same 10-15 people posting all day, all the time, to every thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have watched and laughed at many of the great and funny posts in the short time I have been here.

it is really all about 'what I am going to do', not what YOU must do for me.

I can participate and build up my profile and form friendships.

I can continue to watch and not contribute.

my choice ... and everyone has choice.

to stay and enjot, to stay and moan or go and find enjoyment elsewhere.

good luck all whatever people decide x

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By *yber pimpMan
over a year ago

durham area


"Why we all cant just get along amazes the hell out of me xx

Totally agree, there seems to be a hell of a lot of posts criticising the regular posters recently without whom the forums would be deathly quiet! "

perhaps if you were more welcoming to new posters and less critical of their submissions this wouldnt be the case

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


"Why we all cant just get along amazes the hell out of me xx

Totally agree, there seems to be a hell of a lot of posts criticising the regular posters recently without whom the forums would be deathly quiet!

perhaps if you were more welcoming to new posters and less critical of their submissions this wouldnt be the case "

Yet again - point proven!

I think you will find I am quite a welcoming person, help folk out when asked, etc, etc, etc. But hey no worries you are entitled to your own opinion and I won't be losing any sleep over it!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I wouldn't call it cliquey as such.. people like to thrown around that word a lot....

the way I would describe this place is something akin to a pub.... where the regulars tend to know and interact and bounce off each other......

so if you were new and you went into a pub you wouldn't complain that it was cliquey because people didn't talk to you straight away.... you would take ya time to get yourself known a little

this place is no different.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It definitely helps to have a thick skin on here!!!

Negativity are generally not welcomed, and I can only bear silliness in small doses, and I certainly cannot stand opinionated people who think their poos smell better than others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't call it cliquey as such.. people like to thrown around that word a lot....

the way I would describe this place is something akin to a pub.... where the regulars tend to know and interact and bounce off each other......

so if you were new and you went into a pub you wouldn't complain that it was cliquey because people didn't talk to you straight away.... you would take ya time to get yourself known a little

this place is no different....."

If this were a pub, the newbie would walk in and order a pint and the regulars would form a line and yell "DONT DRINK THAT, WE DONT, YOU MUST DRINK WHAT WE ALL SAY"

All communities are cliquey, it's human nature. If you don't think there's a clique, it's usually because you are part of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

And if you do think there is a clique its because you feel you are'nt a part of it and the whole thing goes round in a circle forever and ever amen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't call it cliquey as such.. people like to thrown around that word a lot....

the way I would describe this place is something akin to a pub.... where the regulars tend to know and interact and bounce off each other......

so if you were new and you went into a pub you wouldn't complain that it was cliquey because people didn't talk to you straight away.... you would take ya time to get yourself known a little

this place is no different....."

.

Agree.

And there will always be those who sit in the corner without making any effort to mingle, and then complain they have been ignored.

It is daunting for a newbie to join an extablished social group, in real life and in the forums such as this one.

Efforts must be made by the newbie in order to be successful. Sitting in the corner and sulk will get you nowhere!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And if you do think there is a clique its because you feel you are'nt a part of it and the whole thing goes round in a circle forever and ever amen"

Exactly, it's human nature to either a) feel like part of a select group or b) to feel like an outsider.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If this were a pub, the newbie would walk in and order a pint and the regulars would form a line and yell "DONT DRINK THAT, WE DONT, YOU MUST DRINK WHAT WE ALL SAY"

All communities are cliquey, it's human nature. If you don't think there's a clique, it's usually because you are part of it."

.

If one asks for an opinion, he/she bounds to get different opinion from different people.

At the end of the day, it is down an individual to decide what is right and not right for him/her.

If he/she does not like the opinions on offer, then he/she should not have asked for it in the first place!

I am not in a clique, however, I gel better with some than the others for certain, as they are more appealing to me. And that is human nature!

IMHO!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"And if you do think there is a clique its because you feel you are'nt a part of it and the whole thing goes round in a circle forever and ever amen

Exactly, it's human nature to either a) feel like part of a select group or b) to feel like an outsider. "

Oh I left a post for you on the "excited" thread in swingers chat about that club in Cambridge,you may be interested..........or not

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By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston


" I certainly cannot stand opinionated people who think their poos smell better than others. "

I love the smell of mine!

It must be all the sprouts and cabbage I eat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh I left a post for you on the "excited" thread in swingers chat about that club in Cambridge,you may be interested..........or not"

Oh, thank you, will nip over and read it.

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

To throw a little spanner in the works, wouldn't the forums be boring if everyone agreed with everyone else.

The diversity and differing opinions of people make the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some times think im the only sane one here

(gotta go take me medication now those nice men in the white coats are here again ) xx

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london

Is it safe to come out yet?

Or is it Thursday?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To throw a little spanner in the works, wouldn't the forums be boring if everyone agreed with everyone else.

The diversity and differing opinions of people make the forums "

.

Well said!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"Is it safe to come out yet?

Or is it Thursday?

"

Get ya arse in here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The forums are no different to any social groups in real life.

Some members gel better with others, and those who do not gel well will feel they are outsiders.

Those who do not gel well and claim it is due to cliques on here are usually those who do not have much of a online personality to speak of.

Always negative, argumentative, opinionated, condecending, etc., and at worst, downright rude!!!

Always the victum without any hint of irony. Quick to dish out the dirt, yet all hell breaks loose when the table is turned.

If one cannot stand the heat, get out of the kitchen I'd say! "

Just playing Devils Advocate here, but the original OP was asking why dont people use the forums... the issue of Cliques has obviously been raised before (see previous threads) so that alone would indicate that there must be a strong perception out there in 'FAB land' that the chat rooms and forums are indeed cliquey....

There is also evidence that when someone who does not post on a regular basis actually does post a valid and sensible question they are sometimes dismissed as irrelevant and the thread is then 'hi-jacked' by the regular posters.

Could there also the perception that the people who deny there is a clique are the ones whos Avatar are always appearing on the threads?.

also the perception that those who dare to raise the issue of cliques are socially inadequate can be percieved as somewhat condecening and opinionated in itself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it safe to come out yet?

Or is it Thursday?

"

.

Come out and play! Or are you sunning it down at Eureka's?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

also the perception that those who dare to raise the issue of cliques are socially inadequate can be percieved as somewhat condecening and opinionated in itself "

Well there's certainly not a lack of *that* in the regulars around here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" also the perception that those who dare to raise the issue of cliques are socially inadequate can be percieved as somewhat condecening and opinionated in itself "

.

I would go as far as to say it is the division of introverts and extroverts, and the extroverts are naturally more socially adequate than the introverts.

Condecending and opinionated? No, just stating what I believe are facts that extroverts are more socially adequate, and that they are also more likely to be happy sunny people who do not moan as much when things do not go their way!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooo, I forgot to mention, there are people who hide behind their online persona and appear to be bigger than they really are in real life.

They may be gobby, opinionated and argumentative on forums, yet they are really mousey in real life.

It is easier to hide one's social inadequacy before an online persona IMHO.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

All the regs stop posting then and let all the newbies become the regs,and see how long it takes for newer newbies to come in and start moaning about cliques and criticism and anything else that gets up their nose about the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ooo, I forgot to mention, there are people who hide behind their online persona and appear to be bigger than they really are in real life.

They may be gobby, opinionated and argumentative on forums, yet they are really mousey in real life.

It is easier to hide one's social inadequacy before an online persona IMHO. "

On the internet noone knows you are a dog.

Unless you've got photos and verifications.

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london


"Is it safe to come out yet?

Or is it Thursday?

.

Come out and play! Or are you sunning it down at Eureka's? "

LOL

Was working all weekend

But we all go together and worked through to gone midnight last night and now I have a day free!

Missed half the morning though :S

Was looking to have lunch with a friend but she seems to be out so planing my free day from here.

And see all, I have not posted for ages, just been lurking, and immediate responses! Or does that prove the point?

LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"LOL

Was working all weekend

But we all go together and worked through to gone midnight last night and now I have a day free!

Missed half the morning though :S

Was looking to have lunch with a friend but she seems to be out so planing my free day from here.

And see all, I have not posted for ages, just been lurking, and immediate responses! Or does that prove the point?

LOL

"

.

It proves you are held with high regards by some of us on here, that's all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the internet noone knows you are a dog.

Unless you've got photos and verifications."

.

And the photos and verifications can be meaningless as they can be false and fakes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All the regs stop posting then and let all the newbies become the regs,and see how long it takes for newer newbies to come in and start moaning about cliques and criticism and anything else that gets up their nose about the forums

"

.

As you said early, who goes round, comes around, very true!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" also the perception that those who dare to raise the issue of cliques are socially inadequate can be percieved as somewhat condecening and opinionated in itself

.

I would go as far as to say it is the division of introverts and extroverts, and the extroverts are naturally more socially adequate than the introverts.

Condecending and opinionated? No, just stating what I believe are facts that extroverts are more socially adequate, and that they are also more likely to be happy sunny people who do not moan as much when things do not go their way! "

I think that finally the original OP has been answered... you either run with the pack or you are left behind and that is why the take up in the forums can be minimal as it is very much survival of the fittest and no-one likes to fail, so why try.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

It always amazes me how many people appear to live their life via internet forums.... if a few people got more of a real life they might not get so hung-up on what happens on a forum and be able to treat it for what it is - a bit of entertainment.

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london


"

.

It proves you are held with high regards by some of us on here, that's all! "

Thank you in the post.

xx

I think most people understand it, just not all people think about it.

Go to a pub for the first time on your own and you know no-one.

If you are female and dressed up you will get attention, if you are male you are a wall flower until you get up and make the effort.

Different people have different results and its about personality/looks/timing/luck/attitude.

If people at the 'pub' have had shared experiences its easy for it to be seen as clique, as we all like to group with friends.

It seems here we are arguing in agreement today LOL.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you are female and dressed up you will get attention..."

.

I stand out without making much effort, especially when I walk up to the bar and ask for a pint of bitter, usually the strongest on offer too! And peeps at the bar would start talking to me!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


" also the perception that those who dare to raise the issue of cliques are socially inadequate can be percieved as somewhat condecening and opinionated in itself

.

I would go as far as to say it is the division of introverts and extroverts, and the extroverts are naturally more socially adequate than the introverts.

Condecending and opinionated? No, just stating what I believe are facts that extroverts are more socially adequate, and that they are also more likely to be happy sunny people who do not moan as much when things do not go their way!

I think that finally the original OP has been answered... you either run with the pack or you are left behind and that is why the take up in the forums can be minimal as it is very much survival of the fittest and no-one likes to fail, so why try. "

Utter rubbish.

The forum use on this site is pretty much the norm for swinging sites.

People can only feel like they have failed if they have come along with an agenda and a goal. If your only aim is to post an honest answer then you have achieved your goal as soon as you hit the submit button.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"

Just playing Devils Advocate here, but the original OP was asking why dont people use the forums... the issue of Cliques has obviously been raised before (see previous threads) so that alone would indicate that there must be a strong perception out there in 'FAB land' that the chat rooms and forums are indeed cliquey....

There is also evidence that when someone who does not post on a regular basis actually does post a valid and sensible question they are sometimes dismissed as irrelevant and the thread is then 'hi-jacked' by the regular posters.

Could there also the perception that the people who deny there is a clique are the ones whos Avatar are always appearing on the threads?.

also the perception that those who dare to raise the issue of cliques are socially inadequate can be percieved as somewhat condecening and opinionated in itself "

I agree to a certain degree on a couple of points.

Not every newbie gets a good reaction when posting a question that is valid to them... BUT having said that, it used to be much worse than an odd piss take.

I don't agree with saying that the people who complain about about cliques are socially inadequate, BUT the impression I get is.....they think someone owes them chat on the forums or in chat.

The amount of times I have seen people say "hello" in chat and then nothing else for ten minutes not even to say hello back to the people who spoke to them and then the next sentance they write is " it is cliquey in here" The same goes for the forums, if no one answers someones post they say the same thing.

When I first started using chat rooms, I quickly learnt that if I didn't butt into peoples conversations and join in then I wouldn't be noticed , so thats what I did. Sitting on the sidelines saying nothing or just an odd hello and then complaining no one speaks to you just gets you noticed as a whinger. Who wants to mix with moaners?

The same goes for the forums, unless you butt in and join in then others won't notice you as much as the people who post a lot.

No one can force anyone to post, but if they don't post no one will know they are there.

All the regulars were new once, but they have managed to join in and have fun, I really don't know why other people can't if they want to.

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By *iss scarlettWoman
over a year ago

in scarlettsville ,west lothian

I am a reader of the forums ,post very occasionally. If you are not well known you will not always get the response you were looking for but as the regulars folks dont know you thats ok. I posted a question in scots forum the other day and got a really piss taking reply from a regular but did get some good advice from one of the mods. It hasnt put me off posting and not all regulars are like that on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

The same goes for the forums, unless you butt in and join in then others won't notice you as much as the people who post a lot.

No one can force anyone to post, but if they don't post no one will know they are there.

All the regulars were new once, but they have managed to join in and have fun, I really don't know why other people can't if they want to. "

.

Well said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the piss takers got bullied at school.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"All the regs stop posting then and let all the newbies become the regs,and see how long it takes for newer newbies to come in and start moaning about cliques and criticism and anything else that gets up their nose about the forums

"

I would do this if everyone else did for lets say a week.. just to prove a point....

what people then to forget at times is that you need a certain amount of regulars to keep a forum ticking over... otherwise it is the same questions and whinges that happen again and again and again.....

like being a regular is a bad thing.....

look... if I have an opinion on a subject I'll answer it, not because I am regular, because I feel passionate enough to reply, or I feel that I can add to a topic, or disagree and can bring some reasoning to that........

the clique card gets played too often....

the victim card gets played too often....

and just because someone disagrees with a position you have too many people are quick to hit the block button as well....

if this place was full of sheep agreeing and following people.... and if it because fluffy for want of a better word i would walk.....

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"I think the piss takers got bullied at school.

"

Are you taking the piss?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me I've found the more you use the forums the "more at home you feel" - I still pop on from time to time, and enjoy reading the various threads. Much prefer the forums to the chat rooms.

Like others have said, it gives you a chance to get to know people, and I've met and made some good friends through using the forum, and even one "meet" lol!

So I'd say to anyone have a go, take the plunge and post a thread or reply!!

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By *xstephbxx OP   Couple
over a year ago

hyde

[Removed by poster at 25/07/10 11:49:33]

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By *xstephbxx OP   Couple
over a year ago

hyde

The reason i posted the post was to try and get more people involved in the forums, Yes, there are the regular forum stalkers ( meant in the best possible humorous way ! )but i would like to think that none of them would ever blank anyone on here.

I have had quite a few giggles without feeling the need to post any reply to the post's and i doubt we are on our own in this one.

So, are the forums cliquey, or just full of regular posters ??

Id like to think the latter xXx

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london


" I think that finally the original OP has been answered... you either run with the pack or you are left behind and that is why the take up in the forums can be minimal as it is very much survival of the fittest and no-one likes to fail, so why try. "

No.

Its, run with the pack, get left behind if you cant keep up and want (but would you be a lemming?), OR fuck of and do your own thing as you don't want to follow the pack!

If I want to go my own way, I do; If the pack comes to me, fine; If the pack is going a way and I am interested, I may follow on my own, I may join for a while.

Its never in or out, never black and white.

And what appears to be a pack is actually a lot of smaller groups in one place, you can even form your own pack.

(this it turning into a ramble so am stopping here! LOL)

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By *iss scarlettWoman
over a year ago

in scarlettsville ,west lothian

Just regular posters and I for one would not be put off from joining in .

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london


"

If you are female and dressed up you will get attention...

.

I stand out without making much effort, especially when I walk up to the bar and ask for a pint of bitter, usually the strongest on offer too! And peeps at the bar would start talking to me! "

Thats true even without the beer! LOL

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By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

Remember a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet!

OK ok I know pass the sick bucket

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm only going to lurk now.... the newbies are scaring me.

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london


"I'm only going to lurk now.... the newbies are scaring me. "

PMSL!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say..when I first started posting in forums...in my previous incarnations on the site...it was a bit daunting...but I did know a couple of other posters from another site and the club scene....

Yes its difficult to get started...but as others have stressed its like any other "social" aspect of swinging...it takes time to establish rapport with others...

peeps can sometimes not respond to your posts...hey...its scary with a new poster...you never know if they might shoot you down for your response with a barrage of sarcasm...so peeps like to hold back...get to learn where you are coming from...kinda get a taste of your views before engaging with you...thats fair enough...and just like "real life"

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By *1dKingColeMan
over a year ago

east london

The one thing I have noticed, chat or forum, it helps if you can type quickly!

Thats a skill to practice.

LOL

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By *iss scarlettWoman
over a year ago

in scarlettsville ,west lothian


"The one thing I have noticed, chat or forum, it helps if you can type quickly!

Thats a skill to practice.

LOL"

Yes I need lots of practise.lol.

And I am not scarey ,Laine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Just playing Devils Advocate here, but the original OP was asking why dont people use the forums... the issue of Cliques has obviously been raised before (see previous threads) so that alone would indicate that there must be a strong perception out there in 'FAB land' that the chat rooms and forums are indeed cliquey....

There is also evidence that when someone who does not post on a regular basis actually does post a valid and sensible question they are sometimes dismissed as irrelevant and the thread is then 'hi-jacked' by the regular posters.

Could there also the perception that the people who deny there is a clique are the ones whos Avatar are always appearing on the threads?.

also the perception that those who dare to raise the issue of cliques are socially inadequate can be percieved as somewhat condecening and opinionated in itself

I agree to a certain degree on a couple of points.

Not every newbie gets a good reaction when posting a question that is valid to them... BUT having said that, it used to be much worse than an odd piss take.

I don't agree with saying that the people who complain about about cliques are socially inadequate, BUT the impression I get is.....they think someone owes them chat on the forums or in chat.

The amount of times I have seen people say "hello" in chat and then nothing else for ten minutes not even to say hello back to the people who spoke to them and then the next sentance they write is " it is cliquey in here" The same goes for the forums, if no one answers someones post they say the same thing.

When I first started using chat rooms, I quickly learnt that if I didn't butt into peoples conversations and join in then I wouldn't be noticed , so thats what I did. Sitting on the sidelines saying nothing or just an odd hello and then complaining no one speaks to you just gets you noticed as a whinger. Who wants to mix with moaners?

The same goes for the forums, unless you butt in and join in then others won't notice you as much as the people who post a lot.

No one can force anyone to post, but if they don't post no one will know they are there.

All the regulars were new once, but they have managed to join in and have fun, I really don't know why other people can't if they want to. "

Who said that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the piss takers got bullied at school.

"

Was that a piss take ?

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton


"I have to say that i for one welcome new posters to the forums ....but i would like to add that i cant help notice the latest trend of "regular forum poster bashing" lately.

If its becoming regular then does that not indicate an element of truth? not a criticism, just an observation!"

i now understand from what you have said the type of person you are

the type that assumes because the nazis bashed the jews on a regular basis , there must have been "truth" in what they said about them

by your own admission you seem to take great relish in winding people up

congratulations to you for winding us up to the point we have both been in tears , it will take us a long time to remove the pain your wicked tounge lashing has left on us

but the scars will remain for an eternity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Just playing Devils Advocate here, but the original OP was asking why dont people use the forums... the issue of Cliques has obviously been raised before (see previous threads) so that alone would indicate that there must be a strong perception out there in 'FAB land' that the chat rooms and forums are indeed cliquey....

There is also evidence that when someone who does not post on a regular basis actually does post a valid and sensible question they are sometimes dismissed as irrelevant and the thread is then 'hi-jacked' by the regular posters.

Could there also the perception that the people who deny there is a clique are the ones whos Avatar are always appearing on the threads?.

also the perception that those who dare to raise the issue of cliques are socially inadequate can be percieved as somewhat condecening and opinionated in itself

I agree to a certain degree on a couple of points.

Not every newbie gets a good reaction when posting a question that is valid to them... BUT having said that, it used to be much worse than an odd piss take.

I don't agree with saying that the people who complain about about cliques are socially inadequate, BUT the impression I get is.....they think someone owes them chat on the forums or in chat.

The amount of times I have seen people say "hello" in chat and then nothing else for ten minutes not even to say hello back to the people who spoke to them and then the next sentance they write is " it is cliquey in here" The same goes for the forums, if no one answers someones post they say the same thing.

When I first started using chat rooms, I quickly learnt that if I didn't butt into peoples conversations and join in then I wouldn't be noticed , so thats what I did. Sitting on the sidelines saying nothing or just an odd hello and then complaining no one speaks to you just gets you noticed as a whinger. Who wants to mix with moaners?

The same goes for the forums, unless you butt in and join in then others won't notice you as much as the people who post a lot.

No one can force anyone to post, but if they don't post no one will know they are there.

All the regulars were new once, but they have managed to join in and have fun, I really don't know why other people can't if they want to.

Who said that ?"

The voice of reason?

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

When I first came into the forums I was a pure lurker. After a while of (avid) reading (and a lot of time spent cleaning tea/coffee/wine off my computer screen) I started to occasionally contribute. As time went by I built up quite a rapport with some posters (even had meets with a few), other posters I avoided because I found them downright scary )

I hummmed and ha'd about going to the pussy posse beach party last summer.....but in the end just wasn't confident enough...besides, too many of those scary people were going!!!

By September I'd decided it really was time to put names to faces and put myself on the list for the first Barnsley social (felt very brave, and somewhat anxious as there was only one other person going whom I'd met once for a coffee).

It turned out to be ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I EVER DID!!!!!

I met quite a few of the (then) regular forumites and had an absolute blast....and one of those "scary" people has turned out to become one of my closest friend and lover (mwah if you're reading this my lover-ly).

That, and the following Barnsley social )led me to sign up for the pussy posse xmas bash at Chams - ANOTHER GOOD DECISION!!!

Met loads more forumites and all those "scary" people turned out to be not at all as "I'd" imagined them.

We see/perceive such a tiny part of the other posters in the forums....we sometimes read into things what isn't really intended.

Experience has taught me that sometimes posters who come across to me as bolshy, argumentative, strongly assertive, downright agressive, shy, quiet,unassuming....etc....etc....etc...isn't neccessarily how these people are.

Now that I've met them, I view the way they post differently...they haven't altered the way they post...but my attitude towards that has changed.

Maybe instead of pondering on the "cliqueyness" (is that a word?) of the forums, it would be time well spent to get along to some of the socials and put names and real personalities to faces - you may just finnd yourself pleasantly surprised.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep..have to agree with cheekycheeza...got my ass to some socials...and met the "scary" ones in person..lol...funny...and really inclusive of everyone...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the piss takers got bullied at school.

Are you taking the piss?"

Yep..even met this blooming scary one... xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you are female and dressed up you will get attention...

.

I stand out without making much effort, especially when I walk up to the bar and ask for a pint of bitter, usually the strongest on offer too! And peeps at the bar would start talking to me!

Thats true even without the beer! LOL "

.

I take that as a compliment!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came i saw I.......shit myself lol

Id been on the forums on another site but that got boring and the site got expensive

Came on here and lurked for weeks watching the pussy posse (as the regular fem posters were known then)

And thinking god they will eat me alive

(a few of em since have literally lol)

But i ventured in tentatively at first

Reading and rereading certain posts just ta make sure I understood how the post was meant (IE tongue in cheek or serious)

Then started ta realise quickly that the posters i thought ta be the most obnoxious had actually got a dry sense of humour

This was the days before emoticons (which have made my life a lot easier because they express the hidden meaning of posts to me)

I realise we are not all the same and cant possibly agree on everything (how feckin borin would that be?)

But we do all have something in common swinging lol

Some times its not whats written that's the problem but how its read

Then the problems descend into a slanging match

This will never change for some unfortunately

But that's life

I have met people who scared the shite outta me on the forums (IE the one that chezza refers to in her post above)

But when i met that person there was an instant bond

Life's fa livin peeps not fa arguing

Have fun and enjoy

And welcome to all posters new and old alike

Craig xx

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

I used to be a regular in the Scottish chatroom and I do mean regular, every night until the early hours of the morning. It started to go downhill with all the newbies coming in and moaning that it was just a clique and no one talked to them; but they never made the effort to chat to anyone either, they just moaned that everyone had missed them saying “hi”. If you walk into a crowded Pub and folk are deep in their own conversations they will miss you saying “hi” too, but would you go up to people you don’t know and moan at them for not hearing it? I think not!

To get everyone involved and to make them feel welcome there was a Quiz that used to take place every Wednesday at 10pm for an hour or so in the Scotland room (it took hours of my spare time to make up the 30 questions) and it was a great laugh and everyone was invited to join in but you still got some of the newbies coming in and moaning that they felt left out because they couldn’t answer in time or that the regulars were quicker at typing! Some folk will just have to moan about anything! But some of the then newbies are now the regulars in there, so at least it worked to a certain degree.

I stopped doing it when I had less time to get the question prepared for the next week and felt I didn’t want to go in just to be criticised by the newbies for leaving them out; it was started to get them involved, but hey you can’t please everyone, just like in the forums!

Some are asking for the Quiz to be brought back, but we will see if, to be honest, I can be arsed to do it just to start to be criticised by the “new” newbies again! I have more fun now going into the chatroom and having a laugh with folk I have got to know, although some may need their ears cleaned out when they criticise my great singing! But then again singing along to old TV theme tunes is maybe wrong in itself, especially Thomas the Tank Engine (a friend’s favourite - honest Guv lol).

The whole point of my “War & Peace” post above is to point out that even although the regulars do try to involve folk in the forums and chatrooms you are always going to get people who just don’t want to join in and have fun and would rather spend their time moaning!

Right that’s my ramblings done for today! Who wants to have some fun?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"

Just playing Devils Advocate here, but the original OP was asking why dont people use the forums... the issue of Cliques has obviously been raised before (see previous threads) so that alone would indicate that there must be a strong perception out there in 'FAB land' that the chat rooms and forums are indeed cliquey....

There is also evidence that when someone who does not post on a regular basis actually does post a valid and sensible question they are sometimes dismissed as irrelevant and the thread is then 'hi-jacked' by the regular posters.

Could there also the perception that the people who deny there is a clique are the ones whos Avatar are always appearing on the threads?.

also the perception that those who dare to raise the issue of cliques are socially inadequate can be percieved as somewhat condecening and opinionated in itself

I agree to a certain degree on a couple of points.

Not every newbie gets a good reaction when posting a question that is valid to them... BUT having said that, it used to be much worse than an odd piss take.

I don't agree with saying that the people who complain about about cliques are socially inadequate, BUT the impression I get is.....they think someone owes them chat on the forums or in chat.

The amount of times I have seen people say "hello" in chat and then nothing else for ten minutes not even to say hello back to the people who spoke to them and then the next sentance they write is " it is cliquey in here" The same goes for the forums, if no one answers someones post they say the same thing.

When I first started using chat rooms, I quickly learnt that if I didn't butt into peoples conversations and join in then I wouldn't be noticed , so thats what I did. Sitting on the sidelines saying nothing or just an odd hello and then complaining no one speaks to you just gets you noticed as a whinger. Who wants to mix with moaners?

The same goes for the forums, unless you butt in and join in then others won't notice you as much as the people who post a lot.

No one can force anyone to post, but if they don't post no one will know they are there.

All the regulars were new once, but they have managed to join in and have fun, I really don't know why other people can't if they want to.

Who said that ?"

Me the newbie everyone ignores.

I am going to stalk you now for not ignoring me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oooooo great ....hang on while I take the door off the latch and a cake crumb trail up to the bathroom !!!!

I've e mailed you my home addy to save you time searching and the taxi money is under the coconut mat by the door.....

READYYYYYYYYY !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* pops in with a cuppa for non-scary Scarlett*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to be a regular in the Scottish chatroom and I do mean regular, every night until the early hours of the morning. It started to go downhill with all the newbies coming in and moaning that it was just a clique and no one talked to them; but they never made the effort to chat to anyone either, they just moaned that everyone had missed them saying “hi”. If you walk into a crowded Pub and folk are deep in their own conversations they will miss you saying “hi” too, but would you go up to people you don’t know and moan at them for not hearing it? I think not!

To get everyone involved and to make them feel welcome there was a Quiz that used to take place every Wednesday at 10pm for an hour or so in the Scotland room (it took hours of my spare time to make up the 30 questions) and it was a great laugh and everyone was invited to join in but you still got some of the newbies coming in and moaning that they felt left out because they couldn’t answer in time or that the regulars were quicker at typing! Some folk will just have to moan about anything! But some of the then newbies are now the regulars in there, so at least it worked to a certain degree.

I stopped doing it when I had less time to get the question prepared for the next week and felt I didn’t want to go in just to be criticised by the newbies for leaving them out; it was started to get them involved, but hey you can’t please everyone, just like in the forums!

Some are asking for the Quiz to be brought back, but we will see if, to be honest, I can be arsed to do it just to start to be criticised by the “new” newbies again! I have more fun now going into the chatroom and having a laugh with folk I have got to know, although some may need their ears cleaned out when they criticise my great singing! But then again singing along to old TV theme tunes is maybe wrong in itself, especially Thomas the Tank Engine (a friend’s favourite - honest Guv lol).

The whole point of my “War & Peace” post above is to point out that even although the regulars do try to involve folk in the forums and chatrooms you are always going to get people who just don’t want to join in and have fun and would rather spend their time moaning!

Right that’s my ramblings done for today! Who wants to have some fun? "

Me please

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"oooooo great ....hang on while I take the door off the latch and a cake crumb trail up to the bathroom !!!!

I've e mailed you my home addy to save you time searching and the taxi money is under the coconut mat by the door.....

READYYYYYYYYY !"

Thats no fun, you are not meant to make it easy for me !

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


"Right that’s my ramblings done for today! Who wants to have some fun?

Me please "

Right that's me sorted!

The rest of you will just have to find your own fun now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

.......although some may need their ears cleaned out when they criticise my great singing!

"

Bring back the quiz night. (and yer singing is shite)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the piss takers got bullied at school.

"

Id have to disagree with that one, i was bullied in school and been all my life but id never ever dream of bullying someone on here or outside as i know how soul destroying it is and my low self esteem and lack of confidence are caused by these vile obnoxious people. The only thing i do now is avoid these people, I work part time shifts in a pub where ive been ridiculed which has been difficult at times but i need the money too much to give it up.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside


"

.......although some may need their ears cleaned out when they criticise my great singing!

Bring back the quiz night. (and yer singing is shite) "

You Luv it really, it has its own unique style that even my own dog has to leave the room to appreciate!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I think the piss takers got bullied at school.

Id have to disagree with that one, i was bullied in school and been all my life but id never ever dream of bullying someone on here or outside as i know how soul destroying it is and my low self esteem and lack of confidence are caused by these vile obnoxious people. The only thing i do now is avoid these people, I work part time shifts in a pub where ive been ridiculed which has been difficult at times but i need the money too much to give it up. "

I agree, I don't think that follows either.

Piss taking is fine if you know it is going to be well recieved. Most people would call it banter when they give it out plus take it back.

I think were it becomes a problem is when people use "banter /piss taking" on the people they either don't like or that you know can't take it.

A good piss taker who is doing it for light hearted teasing will know when to stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the piss takers got bullied at school.

Id have to disagree with that one, i was bullied in school and been all my life but id never ever dream of bullying someone on here or outside as i know how soul destroying it is and my low self esteem and lack of confidence are caused by these vile obnoxious people. The only thing i do now is avoid these people, I work part time shifts in a pub where ive been ridiculed which has been difficult at times but i need the money too much to give it up.

I agree, I don't think that follows either.

Piss taking is fine if you know it is going to be well recieved. Most people would call it banter when they give it out plus take it back.

I think were it becomes a problem is when people use "banter /piss taking" on the people they either don't like or that you know can't take it.

A good piss taker who is doing it for light hearted teasing will know when to stop."

.

I don't either.

I am lucky in that I have never been bullied ever since I arrived in this country as a foreigner back in 1979.

I survived 4 years in a boarding school and 3 years in uni without any negativity towards me due to my race, sex, religious believes or whatever.

There ia saying that one either comes out of boarding school as a total wreck or an egomaniac. I guess I am the latter!!!

I have never liked bullies or people who like to jam their opinions down my throat.

They can try, however, the result will not be pretty!

I piss-take from time to time, however, I would like to believe I have the good grace and sense to know when to stop without causing offence.

I am a good girl I am!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No ya ain't lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No ya ain't lol xx "

.

Shhh, you promised not to reveal the truth!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

forums are fun .me personally think its a great way to get to know others,im on another site too and post reg,i love the banter that you get and as long as you give you gotta be able to take it back,lots get upset with some postings,but most of the time there fun and you get to know who you can have fun with and who you cant .!

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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

I really enjoy the forums and have made some great acquaintances from here. I do find that some regular posters seem to shoot newbies down when they ask questions or state points that go against the norm or unwritten code or practice. Like when a person, mostly single gents like myself, speak of lack of meets. I just feel that maybe regular posters may offer advice as opposed to harsh replies. I would hate to see regular posters boycott the forums (some have been real honeypots to me!), but that is an individual choice. No denying the regular guys and girls have a good rapport with each other, instead of moaning we newbies (am I still one) should create the same with other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really enjoy the forums and have made some great acquaintances from here. I do find that some regular posters seem to shoot newbies down when they ask questions or state points that go against the norm or unwritten code or practice. Like when a person, mostly single gents like myself, speak of lack of meets. I just feel that maybe regular posters may offer advice as opposed to harsh replies. I would hate to see regular posters boycott the forums (some have been real honeypots to me!), but that is an individual choice. No denying the regular guys and girls have a good rapport with each other, instead of moaning we newbies (am I still one) should create the same with other"

There is NO NORM or UNWRITTEN CODE of PRACTICE.

People are in their own homes not board rooms.

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By *imnher2Woman
over a year ago

watford

we post in here from time to time but mostly just sit back and read all the posts.. we find them so funny,

without the regulars posting it would be a very boring forum.. we say keep on posting we love it. join in if you want.. if not its your own lose not every1 else's

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton

the newbies seem to be at war with the regular posters

and the occasional posters are stuck in the middle like pacifists

there seems to be a need for some kind of rebel rouser or dictator to bind one or other of the factions into a credible fighting force

a force that can generate propoganda and win over the majority of the pacifists

only then can that more organised force attack and crush the enemy

i shall sit back and watch it unfold as a concientious objector

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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"I really enjoy the forums and have made some great acquaintances from here. I do find that some regular posters seem to shoot newbies down when they ask questions or state points that go against the norm or unwritten code or practice. Like when a person, mostly single gents like myself, speak of lack of meets. I just feel that maybe regular posters may offer advice as opposed to harsh replies. I would hate to see regular posters boycott the forums (some have been real honeypots to me!), but that is an individual choice. No denying the regular guys and girls have a good rapport with each other, instead of moaning we newbies (am I still one) should create the same with other There is NO NORM or UNWRITTEN CODE of PRACTICE. People are in their own homes not board rooms. "
Just my opinion and thank you for yours. This what makes forums entertaining

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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago

a block away from heaven


"the newbies seem to be at war with the regular posters and the occasional posters are stuck in the middle like pacifists there seems to be a need for some kind of rebel rouser or dictator to bind one or other of the factions into a credible fighting force a force that can generate propoganda and win over the majority of the pacifists only then can that more organised force attack and crush the enemy i shall sit back and watch it unfold as a concientious objector "
Best way me thinks!!

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