FabSwingers.com forum: You know you're getting old when ...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

... You have to use hygienic clippers to remove your nose and ear hair (yep, me this morning

)

What else ... ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You take a pair of pumps in your bag on a night out

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I've no idea. I'll let you know once I'm getting old

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By *ike4362ukMan
over a year ago

Cheshunt

When you start reading threads about knowing you're getting old...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You see a lady in a short skirt and think "she'll be chilly later when the weather turns...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"... You have to use hygienic clippers to remove your nose and ear hair (yep, me this morning

)

What else ... ?? "

I knew it when I wanted to sit down in a pub and have a proper conversation oh and noticing how young policemen/women are!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a shift at work instead of getting ready to go out, get your dressing gown and slippers on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

driving your kids to school with a blondie cd playing and having one of them say oh dad this is a one direction song when "one way or another comes on" Bloody liberty

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By *icefellatwoMan
over a year ago

hastings

"... You have to use hygienic clippers to remove your nose and ear hair (yep, me this morning

)

What else ... ?? "

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

When you start a sentence but half way through you...

potato.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you start a sentence but half way through you...

potato."

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You let out an audible groan to stand up

you admire the wallpaper/furnishings on the set of the porn movie you are watching

you yell at yr kids to turn that bloody awful music down

you spend yr evening going round the house turning off lights n appliances

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"When you start a sentence but half way through you...

potato."

That's not old age.

That's too much fapping affecting your...uh...What was I saying?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When a nice meal at home is better then a night out for wild sex. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You let out an audible groan to stand up

you admire the wallpaper/furnishings on the set of the porn movie you are watching

you yell at yr kids to turn that bloody awful music down

you spend yr evening going round the house turning off lights n appliances

Knees creak as I walk up stairs...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the cat goes out more than you do

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By *om Tom 1969Man
over a year ago

liverpool

When people stop calling you 'mate' and start calling you 'sir'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You read the title of a thread and think " yeah, i have a brilliant contribution to make to this", and by the time you have read everybody elses answers, you have forgotten what you were going to say.

Thats when you start telling people how forgetful you are because its the only thing you can remember about yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"... You have to use hygienic clippers to remove your nose and ear hair (yep, me this morning

)

What else ... ??

I knew it when I wanted to sit down in a pub and have a proper conversation oh and noticing how young policemen/women are!"

Oh yes and doctors, and when to realise that the girl your ogling could 'really' be you daughter and you feel ashamed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...you start thinking of yourself as such.

Not me!!

You're only as old as you feel, and I still feel like a 21 year old.

Not sure where I might find one this time of day but.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"... You have to use hygienic clippers to remove your nose and ear hair (yep, me this morning

)

What else ... ?? "

I remembered now!!!!

Going to the barbers for a haircut and he shaves your ears!!! Im 31 ffs!!!!!

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"You read the title of a thread and think " yeah, i have a brilliant contribution to make to this", and by the time you have read everybody elses answers, you have forgotten what you were going to say.

Thats when you start telling people how forgetful you are because its the only thing you can remember about yourself.

Pretty much this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"... You have to use hygienic clippers to remove your nose and ear hair (yep, me this morning

)

What else ... ??

I knew it when I wanted to sit down in a pub and have a proper conversation oh and noticing how young policemen/women are!

Oh yes and doctors, and when to realise that the girl your ogling could 'really' be you daughter and you feel ashamed.

Or the policeman I am perving at is calling me Madam...sigh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The very first time you pick up a father's day cd whilst browsing in a store and think "Bloody hell, there's some good tunes on here"...

Happened to me for the first time about six or seven years ago. I strolled round virgin, nodding smugly along to a Killers track playing over the stores system. Male at the end of his twenties, I can mash it all night, use a 56kg dumbell for overhead pulls and Im old enough to earn decent poke. Life doesn't get better than this! I nonchalantly picked one up for the first time in a while thinking 'I wonder what teens gruntingly toss in front of their old dads now,' fully expecting to see a track listing containing Mott the Hoople, The Sweet and possibly The Stranglers (for the Dads who started a family young)

And there they were in all their wonderful but somehow horrific glory. The Happy Mondays. 808 state. Even early nineties sneakily included with the likes of The Charlatans.... Bands only from the very start of my getting seriously into music in a big way true, but they were MY bands!

For a second I was confused. How could these proclaiming magical artists of youthful rebellion bastardize themselves for this....pedalling their wares to older folks who didn't have a clue? Had they followed the naff kind of example of doing so set by Burtons?

Then the horrible truth came crashing in and my blood ran cold....

I've got over it now, mind.

Hell, Prodigy, Oasis and even Kasabian are probably on the damn things now for all I know. Plus Im content with the moniker of thirtysomething male, with a daughter of nursery age.

Its when she buys me one of The things to sneakily listen to herself that I'll fuck off to the allotment to sit in a shed...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"... You have to use hygienic clippers to remove your nose and ear hair (yep, me this morning

)

What else ... ?? "

When you're proud of your bowel movements.

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

When you see a lovely thirty year old and wonder what her mum's like

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

"... You have to use hygienic clippers to remove your nose and ear hair (yep, me this morning

)

What else ... ??

When you're proud of your bowel movements.

Most guys start that phase in their teens!

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By *om8420Man
over a year ago

Sunderland

You have to sit down to put your socks on

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By *ola.Woman
over a year ago

Just where I need to be.

Happy hour is an afternoon nap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When Hula Hoop crisps don't fit on your fingers anymore

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

"When the cat goes out more than you do "

it's like living with a teenager here he goes out at 10pm and jumps on the bed about 3am just to let us know hes back

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By *afadaoMan
over a year ago

Staines

When you take the first gulp of your cuppa and say "Aaaaah, that hit the spot"

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"You take a pair of pumps in your bag on a night out

I do this....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you have to say to the person you're talking to "you might not have been born then."

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

When the trainees at work were born the same year I passed my driving test.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you have to scroll down to search for your year of birth when completing a form online

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you've had sex before some of your sexual partners were born...

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"When the trainees at work were born the same year I passed my driving test.

Some of the trainees at work were born after I passed my driving test.

When during a bit of downtime in work I look for the comfy chair to have a nap in, instead of getting a cuppa and play cards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you need to take a shite every 2 hours

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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago

Dorset

When it takes you all night, to do ... what you used to like to do all night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After a shift at work instead of getting ready to go out, get your dressing gown and slippers on."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you watch new comedy and think wtf????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Age is an issue of mind over matter,if you don't mind,it doesn't matter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When ya can't be bothered to get on your Stannah stairlift to go get your Wurthers Originals from upstairs

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By *icefellatwoMan
over a year ago

hastings

"... You have to use hygienic clippers to remove your nose and ear hair (yep, me this morning

)

What else ... ?? "

You start pushing up daisies

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By *om Tom 1969Man
over a year ago

liverpool

or putting 'just for men', down below!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When a nice meal at home is better then a night out for wild sex. lol"

Never... she can't cook, so fucked both ways

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

you sound like your dad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You sit watching TV in a puddle of your own piss?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I walk into a room, forget what it was for and have to re trace my steps back into the room to see if it comes back to me why i was there in the first place

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You sit watching TV in a puddle of your own piss?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I walk into a room, forget what it was for and have to re trace my steps back into the room to see if it comes back to me why i was there in the first place

I've been doing that since my 20's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I walk into a room, forget what it was for and have to re trace my steps back into the room to see if it comes back to me why i was there in the first place

I got old by the time I was old enough to walk then!

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

My OH always says he knew he was getting older when he saw a load of girls waiting to board a train for a night out....all wearing tiny dresses and loads of bare skin and thought 'oh they look freezing, they need to put coats on'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know you're getting old, when it's your birthday.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When guys on Fab keep telling me they like older women in an attempt to chat me up. When did I become "older"?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When guys on Fab keep telling me they like older women in an attempt to chat me up. When did I become "older"?"

39? You're a mere pup!

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

"When guys on Fab keep telling me they like older women in an attempt to chat me up. When did I become "older"?"

With that body...you are much younger than many

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When team members don't remember life before mobile phones and weren't born when Twin Peaks originally aired. You realise you're easily old enough to be their mother. The list goes on this week

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's the odd grey eyebrow hair as well - not yet found any 'down there' but only a matter of time surely

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When team members don't remember life before mobile phones and weren't born when Twin Peaks originally aired. You realise you're easily old enough to be their mother. The list goes on this week

Byker Grove is 25 years old this year too ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you're having a sort out, come across some old records and your kids ask what they are

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By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

You go upstairs and forget what youve gone for.

Your on a night out in town and see a gorgeous young lady and you think to yourself, "I wonder if her mum is fit"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can remember when if someone asked if you wanted some crack, it was a sexual proposition

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you have to say to the person you're talking to "you might not have been born then." "

I say that all the time.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

On a similar note - a friend of mine filmed her 11yr old son on her mobile after she had put some tapes in the car...

Watching him turn it over in his hands (still in its case) and then trying to put the whole thing in the tape deck was both hilarious and tragic at the same time.

"what exactly *are* these, mummy?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You know you're getting old, when it's your birthday."

Yup and I have one soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I look in the mirror and see my

Mother looking back...

Getting excited over a new Hoover/mop... Seeing an advert for a new washing powder and saying ohhh that looks good ... I need to try that. Sunny and windy today... yeah.. great washing day!!!

Going upstairs... What the hell did I come up here for???

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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

My favourite line in the song OLDEST SWINGER IN TOWN.

And it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night your the oldest swinger in town.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I look in the mirror and see my

Mother looking back...

Getting excited over a new Hoover/mop... Seeing an advert for a new washing powder and saying ohhh that looks good ... I need to try that. Sunny and windy today... yeah.. great washing day!!!

Going upstairs... What the hell did I come up here for??? "

Lol. This.

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By *onestjohn1962Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

When Arctic Monkeys are in Radio 2 Golden Oldies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When admiring the page 3 then realising you're old enough to be their dad

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral

"When you start reading threads about knowing you're getting old..."

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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"When admiring the page 3 then realising you're old enough to be their dad

Or when you admire porno's saying "look at the duvet on that bed"

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

"When admiring the page 3 then realising you're old enough to be their dad

When admiring the page 3 then realising you're old enough to be their grandad!

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By *itSamCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"When admiring the page 3 then realising you're old enough to be their dad

When admiring the page 3 then realising you're old enough to be their grandad!"

As long as your eyesight is good enough

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