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Need a good joke

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm at work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does the label say in an Essex girls knickers?

NEXT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre.

So the barman gives her one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do u call a guy that wears paper trousers

Russell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What does the label say in an Essex girls knickers?

NEXT"

nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/10/14 16:46:26]

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By *hinaManMan
over a year ago

Twickenham

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Doctor is examining a young female patient.

"Big breaths" he says

"Yeth" she replies, "and I'm still only thixteen"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does a prostitute wear knickers?

To keep her ankles warm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you know Black Beauty ?......hes a dark horse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sunderland

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A Doctor is examining a young female patient.

"Big breaths" he says

"Yeth" she replies, "and I'm still only thixteen""

love it lool

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

C*ND*M USE ON AN AIRCRAFT

A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eying each other, and both realize they want to do the same thing. He slips a c*nd*m out of his pocket, and she looks delighted.

Rear toilet? He suggests. Five minutes, she agrees and goes off. He waits five minutes, then goes and slips in there with her. Right, get that c*nd*m on, she says. Soon, they are both sighing with pleasure.

But a sharp eyed stewardess has noticed them, and realized what they are up to, So, she humiliates them by making an announcement over the PA system. "To the lady and gentleman in the rear toilet, we know what you are doing, and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations. Now, please put those cigarettes out and take the c*nd*m off the smoke detector."

And what were you thinking?

I worry about you sometimes!

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they end up having to share a bed.

In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!"

The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too.

Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's strange, I dreamt I was skiing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"C*ND*M USE ON AN AIRCRAFT

A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight. They start eying each other, and both realize they want to do the same thing. He slips a c*nd*m out of his pocket, and she looks delighted.

Rear toilet? He suggests. Five minutes, she agrees and goes off. He waits five minutes, then goes and slips in there with her. Right, get that c*nd*m on, she says. Soon, they are both sighing with pleasure.

But a sharp eyed stewardess has noticed them, and realized what they are up to, So, she humiliates them by making an announcement over the PA system. "To the lady and gentleman in the rear toilet, we know what you are doing, and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations. Now, please put those cigarettes out and take the c*nd*m off the smoke detector."

And what were you thinking?

I worry about you sometimes!"

I was thinking, why are we not allowed to write condom?

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'

Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'

Man: 'What sins?'

Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'

Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'

Man: 'I'm 92 years old . . . . I'm telling everybody!'

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By *uttyjonnMan
over a year ago

SEA


"A Doctor is examining a young female patient.

"Big breaths" he says

"Yeth" she replies, "and I'm still only thixteen""

Did she have acute angina too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Awesome

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thxs everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First woman on the Moon:

"Houston, we have a problem."

What?

"Never mind"

What's the problem?

"Nothing"

Please tell us?

"You know what the problem is."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First woman on the Moon:

"Houston, we have a problem."

What?

"Never mind"

What's the problem?

"Nothing"

Please tell us?

"You know what the problem is.""

love it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are men smarter during sex?

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

....Because they're plugged in to a know it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What does the label say in an Essex girls knickers?

NEXT"

They wear knickers ? is this true ?

him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker....well ...she's not my girlfriend yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is not a joke but a fun saying lol:

I see myself as a mix of ghandi and jesus.. very chilled and down to earth.

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

Nobody pays £100 to have a lentil on them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doctor Doctor my fanny smells of coconut "Its Bounty "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crashed my car today. It was only a dwarf that got out. He said "im not happy". I said which one are you?

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"What do u call a guy that wears paper trousers

Russell "

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Russell

What do you call the same man 10 years later? Pete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between jam and marmalade?

You can't marmalade your cock in a girls arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is the space between breasts and hips called a waist?

cause you could have had another set of breasts there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dustbin man knocks on Chinese takeaway door says to owner 'Wheres ya bin ? ' Chinese man says 'I bin toilet ' Dustman shakes his head and says 'No mate wheres ya dust bin ? ' Chinese man says ' Yes I dust bin toilet ' Dustman frustratedly says ' No wheres ya wheelie bin ?? ' Chinese man looks embarrassed and says ' Ok I wheelie bin aving a wank '.

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