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worst first messages

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Design your own worst first introductory messages.

You're not what I call attractive but just might be better than my hand, if you buy me a few drinks first and bring some friends for my first fffm meet and perform for my pleasure.

Not the worst but enough of a deterrent.

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You can bring your fella with you, whilst I show you what an orgasm is, whilst he finishes some DIY chores around my place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As I've not had any meets yet I thought I would lower my standards and give you a message. Whilst you don't seem remotely interesting or intelligent or look attractive in any way, I really, really need to unload. So, hows about it?

I've got kik if you want to talk on that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Opening message ive just had -

Yep I'm gonna be balls deep in you!

Erm no you're not lol

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I'm parked up in a lay by near you and my cock needs draining. You'll do. Be here in 10 minutes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Opening message ive just had -

Yep I'm gonna be balls deep in you!

Erm no you're not lol"

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I could just go to my sent box and copy and paste but I dont think Im allowed so I'll make one up:

Hi, I like Fox's and Dogs. Your a dog but after 6 pints I reckon you'll be a fox. Now while I dont class myself as a gambler I reckon your worth the risk.

6 pints is the social bit and if it works out I could be elbow deep by 1am.

If this appeals to you please let me know, I fully understand if you think you get a better offer and take them up on it.

x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Message I got this morning... "You're not my type at all, but you seem genuine. Fancy it?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The doctors told me under no circumstances am I to have sex til I get the all clear but you dont look like you will mind the sores.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually put Pedigree Chum on my cock and let the dog lick it off but she's at the vets today. Would you like to take her place?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your not really my type but none of the others have replied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I want to write on your face with my dick."

I received that 10 mins ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I want to write on your face with my dick."

I received that 10 mins ago."

Oh my god lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I want to write on your face with my dick."

I received that 10 mins ago."

Check whether there's a rubber on that writing implement.

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By *wintonguyMan
over a year ago

Doncaster

I don't really fancy you but are you desperate enough to let me shag you ?

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Hi remember me, you treated me in the clinic for various std including herpes and gonorrhoea but on the positive side they have cleared up and aids test was negative

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


""I want to write on your face with my dick."

I received that 10 mins ago."

Did he say it was going to be in CAPITOL LETTERS?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.

That was it.just a solitary dot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just received "I want to lick a black guys cum out your a@@hole".

I can put up one of these every 5 mins. I get this shit all day long!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know you're straight, but would you suck my dick?"

Erm no thanks matey lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey ill meet you tonight no kissing as i dont fancy you, so just open your legs while i use your hole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"WILL DO YOU"

Cheers you silver tongued member.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's fuck in my car, you bring them spare tyres

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had "slut" so thought he'd sent it too quick . So replied - pardon ! And got the reply - slut . well less is more I guess !

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

As my verifications show, they've all preferred bareback with me, so let's do this properly. Added bonus, you can get more in benefits after 9 months, so you'll be able to afford some nicer clothes than your pics show.

I'm not like all the others on here, I will always speak to you in person, not ignore you in public.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ur body is fat but i'd stil do u."

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Hi. I can't last long the first time as its ages since My missus let me fuck her, but I'll let you enjoy it more as soon as she's gone to sleep and I sneak back over. I ain't fussy, and I know you ain't so act like you're enjoying it"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, much luck on here?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't got any fuck requests from women for months, so will design my own lol: Hey need a willing mouth to drain my cock of milk behind a bush tonight

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I got something along the lines of...

Your a bit of a scrawny, scrag end bitch, but none of the BBW will meet, so my cocks hard, you ready to go?

Of course, my knicker elastic pinged, I was immediately wet, and jumped in the car to go meet him (only 350 miles away - bonus)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No hello no introduction,

Just....face pic & a random friends request.

They could not even spell face pic correctly yet regarded themselves as quite the catch.

Yeah!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always wanted to shag a fat fuck like you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just received "I want to lick a black guys cum out your a@@hole".

I can put up one of these every 5 mins. I get this shit all day long! "

I've had this one too on more than one occasion.. He must be a cut n paster lol!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ul never get fuked on here the man disnae exist."

Yeah dude, all my veris are imaginary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just received "I want to lick a black guys cum out your a@@hole".

I can put up one of these every 5 mins. I get this shit all day long!

I've had this one too on more than one occasion.. He must be a cut n paster lol!!"

Yay! I'm glad i'm not alone!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im only a two pumps and a squirt kinda guy, so fancy a quickie?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i wan ur pussy"

I'm afraid my cat is unavailable.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

you free mid-day monday. The missus is taking the kids shopping for the day and I'd let you suck me dry if you've a wide pussy as I'm a big lad...

Delightful - again knicker elastic gone, excited... checked diary - damn I'm down to walk next door's sisters neighbours aunties golfish...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you free mid-day monday. The missus is taking the kids shopping for the day and I'd let you suck me dry if you've a wide pussy as I'm a big lad...

Delightful - again knicker elastic gone, excited... checked diary - damn I'm down to walk next door's sisters neighbours aunties golfish... "

I got a similar message today! But his wife was asleep on pills upstairs. Obviously i ran round to his house and jumped right on it.

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By *r jblMan
over a year ago

from parts unknown

I want your n**** cock inside me. That was about six weeks a go. How f***ing rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I want your n**** cock inside me. That was about six weeks a go. How f***ing rude. "

Ok that's WAY worse than anything i've received.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I want to write on your face with my dick."

I received that 10 mins ago."

So where and when are you meeting him, I could maybe pop along and correct the spelling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I want to write on your face with my dick."

I received that 10 mins ago.

So where and when are you meeting him, I could maybe pop along and correct the spelling "

Lol! How wrong can a guy go with "OMG"?

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By *r jblMan
over a year ago

from parts unknown


""i wan ur pussy"

I'm afraid my cat is unavailable. "
. I like the way you think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lol! How wrong can a guy go with "OMG"?"

Could run out after OM that would be a meditative error

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lol! How wrong can a guy go with "OMG"?

Could run out after OM that would be a meditative error "

How did you know i was a Buddhist? And mr bbc, i must just have a very clean mind.

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By *r jblMan
over a year ago

from parts unknown


"Lol! How wrong can a guy go with "OMG"?

Could run out after OM that would be a meditative error

How did you know i was a Buddhist? And mr bbc, i must just have a very clean mind. "
. That's what i'am on about.

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By *aura001Woman
over a year ago

poole

Real message received:

Can I use use you as a toilet, I'd love to shit all over you

Must have one of them profiles I guess, its not the only one I've received like that

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By *aura001Woman
over a year ago

poole


"I want your n**** cock inside me. That was about six weeks a go. How f***ing rude. "

Thats worse than my shitty one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Must have one of them profiles I guess, its not the only one I've received like that "

It's good being an older bloke, don't get that sort of message only ever had messages I liked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

gay guys sending you pics of their a`holes is about as bad as it gets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Real message received:

Can I use use you as a toilet, I'd love to shit all over you

Must have one of them profiles I guess, its not the only one I've received like that "

I've had that. I can't believe some of the things guys get off on.

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown


"Real message received:

Can I use use you as a toilet, I'd love to shit all over you

Must have one of them profiles I guess, its not the only one I've received like that

I've had that. I can't believe some of the things guys get off on."

Yeah, ive had messages like that too :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From an actual message.

'I want to breed you'

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I have a coffin fetish. After being buried in my garden, I will dig you up for a shag tonight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From an actual message.

'I want to breed you' "

Make sure you get the costs up front, was it £480,000 to age 11, so double that, plus Uni fees then don't forget wedding costs if it's a girl and deposit for house etc. etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a coffin fetish. After being buried in my garden, I will dig you up for a shag tonight."

That's almost irresistible... shame I am straight

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's only Ebola, so oral's fine if you drive over now and get treated later.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use vinagar as perfume, then I can nip over for a quickie and pick up chips for the wife on the way home

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It won't last long and I'll get to win a bet with my mates, so get over here now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will literally fuck anything, and you're the last on my list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive got half an hour, Im on parole, but dont worry, it was diminished responsibility...

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

Howz about ya letting me fill ya up Buttercup? Spread that ass, let me slap it n ride dem ripples... Ya ok for a bit of practice! Whattcha say? Wanna be me bitch? .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yow face is perfeck for doggy style im free now but need the lights off as your no my type but i desperate now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your man can't satisfy you I'm sure I can ( a picture of his cock )I quickly replied with a pic of hubby's larger one and never heard from him again

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol


"If this appeals to you please let me know, I fully understand if you think you get a better offer and take them up on it.

x"

boom boom !!

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"Do you fuck on first meet " ?

" does your dad own a brewery ?

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

[Removed by poster at 18/10/14 07:06:19]

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By *ophieslut OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Your profile's wrong, you only need me.

Don't eat first, you're having my liquid lunch, followed by nob cheese board for dessert.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its your cunt and arse I wanna fuck not your shoulder you stupid bitch",,,lovely message 3 days after my op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The word of the day is legs! Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

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By *aura001Woman
over a year ago

poole

20 minutes before meeting a guy for a social...I got this

Do me a favour dont wear too much perfume, I dont want to go home stinking of you

Tumble. ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a guy with a couple's profile: 'my wife's a violent alcoholic so I only play alone'. An enticing opening gambit.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Can I pay you for a BJ in my van?'

Getting a lot of these recently.

'I know I'm not what you're looking for but would you fuck me anyway?' lol

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I've just been to a gangbang where I was royally fucked by 12 men, but find I am still horny. Wanna finish me off?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From a guy with a couple's profile: 'my wife's a violent alcoholic so I only play alone'. An enticing opening gambit....."

Translated .... she gets really pissed off and batters me for playing around without her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just received "I want to lick a black guys cum out your a@@hole".

I can put up one of these every 5 mins. I get this shit all day long!

I've had this one too on more than one occasion.. He must be a cut n paster lol!!"

Me too, gets so often now you look at the message and think "Tuesday already"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your man can't satisfy you I'm sure I can ( a picture of his cock )I quickly replied with a pic of hubby's larger one and never heard from him again "

I've had messages like this before! Hate guys the just assume!

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