FabSwingers.com forum: Help a friend with debt ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Recently had a message of a very good friend who's found him self in abit of a bother he's been using his over draft and his bank had decided to reduce his over draft limit so the thing is I'm going to help him with the debt but just wondered if this has happened to anyone else

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

They will always look at the affordability of a situation and then reduce, if appropriate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say only do it if you can afford to lose the money, however I'd help anyone financially as I'm a pushover.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be brutally honest, I wouldn't help anyone out if they were in debt, having been on the receiving end of not being payed back after being very generous, I'm much the wiser owl these days.

Think carefully before you lend to someone, and come to an agreement to ensure you're repayed

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land

"To be brutally honest, I wouldn't help anyone out if they were in debt, having been on the receiving end of not being payed back after being very generous, I'm much the wiser owl these days.

Think carefully before you lend to someone, and come to an agreement to ensure you're repayed"

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By *anchestercubMan
over a year ago

manchester & NI

I'd help if I could afford to give it as a gift rather than a loan.

Lending money and friendship isn't known as a recipe for success.

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By *hoe_nixCouple
over a year ago

leeds

"I'd say only do it if you can afford to lose the money, however I'd help anyone financially as I'm a pushover. "

seconded.... appreciation from a friend is nice but feeding the family is important .. don't overstretch yourself by being kind

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

oops, I misread that, I thought you were asking about the bank's decision to reduce rather than have we loaned money...

I have many times, I would only do now in very select circumstances to non family.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

but without question to my immediate family.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm going to his been a good friend over the years poor sod just before Christmas aswell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would always help family and friends. Acquaintances no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be brutally honest, I wouldn't help anyone out if they were in debt, having been on the receiving end of not being payed back after being very generous, I'm much the wiser owl these days.

Think carefully before you lend to someone, and come to an agreement to ensure you're repayed"

i wouldn't either i have my own home and family to look after, I work hard to pay my bills if others can manage their money better that's not my problem, harsh I know but how I feel

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Is your friend Neil Diamond?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be brutally honest, I wouldn't help anyone out if they were in debt, having been on the receiving end of not being payed back after being very generous, I'm much the wiser owl these days.

Think carefully before you lend to someone, and come to an agreement to ensure you're repayed

i wouldn't either i have my own home and family to look after, I work hard to pay my bills if others can manage their money better that's not my problem, harsh I know but how I feel "

We learnt the very hard way.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once lent someone some money, they seemed desperate and i felt sorry for them, however i never got it back and whats worse they then stole money off me too !!!! Plus it turned out they were living far beyond their means eg. when we are short of money we cut back on take aways, sky package etc .... i didnt even know she had sky and thought she was really in need but it wasn't true !

My advice is don't do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had family take advantage financially and friends who have and some who haven't.

Only you can decide who to trust.

I'm now very cautious. A few quid here and there doesn't bother me. Larger amounts.. possibly not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No it mc hammer had a hard few years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be brutally honest, I wouldn't help anyone out if they were in debt, having been on the receiving end of not being payed back after being very generous, I'm much the wiser owl these days.

Think carefully before you lend to someone, and come to an agreement to ensure you're repayed

i wouldn't either i have my own home and family to look after, I work hard to pay my bills if others can manage their money better that's not my problem, harsh I know but how I feel

We learnt the very hard way.......

me too I lent a friend the money to renew her work visa and never got a penny back

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Only help out if:

a - you can afford to write the money off

b - they aren't a financial basket case who is always going to be in a state of financial embarrassment.

I've stood as surety for a loan before and the chap ran into difficulties, so I paid off all of the capital for him. He's paying me back as and when, so some peeps do pay back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was in the position, I would. Without a shadow of a doubt. Having been in financial difficulties myself. I know how delibitating, it can be. Plus you never know when you may need a little help yourself..

But I'm a bit of a softie on the quiet.

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By *hippyABCMan
over a year ago

Aldershot North Hampshire

Yes I helped a girl friend out once and they just come back for more, its nice to help a friend just set a limit

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Please consider very carefully before lending money to friends or family. It solves potentially some of the symptoms but not the real cause of the problem and can be catastrophic for the relationship.

I'd prefer to offer help that does focus on the issue but not give cash.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i stopped lending money to family and friends a while a back

as much as if i could help i would have now i dont

people who borrow money some wont pay it back and some will still be in the situation still a few years in the future

People can only help themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I would, if they could pay it back then that would be great. If not, then I'd see it as a gift over the coming birthdays/christmas' etc.

If it is a very large amount, then I'd perhaps discuss a monthly/weekly payment back to me to help with their budgeting, rather than expecting it all in one go which could see them back at square one.

It all depends on your _iew of money and your own affordability I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was solvent yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id give people my last penny and do without myself if i was able - have done this in the past - unfortunately im struggling myself these days so the pot is empty already - its a lovely thing to be able to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm going to his been a good friend over the years poor sod just before Christmas aswell"

Does October count as just before Christmas now? If he can't afford to pay the overdraft back how will afford to pay you back?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

on the flip side of this just wondering how many people are comfy with accepting help - he gave me some cash once just to treat myself with because i never can/do and it took a lot of persuading for me to take - and rather than blow it on a really good expensive pair of jeans (which was how the thing came about me saying oh id like some) i spent it over about 6 months and got a good few items

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither a borrower or a lender be

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