FabSwingers.com forum: First meets at a house

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it just me or what.....I personally wouldn't meet someone on a first meet in their home from a safety perspective. I'm actually amazed especially how single women do/allow. Do you have any stories how this backfired when you did?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree, I'd never go to a strangers house without meeting socially first for so many reasons, safety being the first. We always meet socially for a first meet as I do on my single profile. I'm amazed some do it, also amazes me that a guy can message a single woman late at night asking if they want to come over right now which I get a lot on my single profile.

Miss F

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope i done accommodate and i meet in public first, I had one guy want me to go straight up to his hotel room I won't even do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another things that gets me is the amount of men who offer to pick me up, I wouldn't take a lift from a stranger who pulled up along side me walking home so why would I get in a car with a total stranger off a sex site

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nope i done accommodate and i meet in public first, I had one guy want me to go straight up to his hotel room I won't even do that "

That spells and smells like desperation. I appreciate creating a repoire. I can be a total slut at the best of times but for a new meet I need to feel connected. I have nothing to prove to anyone or to myself about my level of spontaneity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I almost always go to the guys place for the first meet....always have

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

we always insist on public place social meet for first meet and if meets dont like it then its their loss not ours lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree, I'd never go to a strangers house without meeting socially first for so many reasons, safety being the first. We always meet socially for a first meet as I do on my single profile. I'm amazed some do it, also amazes me that a guy can message a single woman late at night asking if they want to come over right now which I get a lot on my single profile.

Miss F"

Guess those perps don't understand what the lifestyle is all about....very few do I'm afraid.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

I have done lots of house 1st meets.

I am always sure that they dont mind and are happy to go ahead. Usually mine but sometimes theirs.

I must be a trustworthy kind of guy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Girlfriends when you know self defence like I do you'll think differently xxx

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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago

A seaside town near you!

I got slated then blocked because I refused to go to a guys house for a first meet!

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

Or "I can.accommodate now in......."

Ok mate I will drop everything, abandon my kids and everything so I can ride you

Sorry whats your name?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get loads of msg,s to come over at stupid o'clock

and like someone mentioned you wouldn't get in a strangers car or home

I always insist on a public meet first time!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She came to mine and it went really well. I would defo do it again

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

social first somewhere public. It has occasionally progressed to play somewhere that evening, but thats rare.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have done lots of house 1st meets.

I am always sure that they dont mind and are happy to go ahead. Usually mine but sometimes theirs.

I must be a trustworthy kind of guy

You're too awesome A! I'm just coming from a safety perspective...read some hairy threads on here about the subject x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Or "I can.accommodate now in......."

Ok mate I will drop everything, abandon my kids and everything so I can ride you

Sorry whats your name?"

Lol god really? ???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Another things that gets me is the amount of men who offer to pick me up, I wouldn't take a lift from a stranger who pulled up along side me walking home so why would I get in a car with a total stranger off a sex site

Yeah I hear you on this one. I can't do it either. I prefer to be in complete control about meeting. Am highly independent in this regard x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or "I can.accommodate now in......."

Ok mate I will drop everything, abandon my kids and everything so I can ride you

Sorry whats your name?"
Hello darling my name is shag.. shag Tonight

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read on here a few years back about a woman who went to meet a guy in a hotel and when she arrived there were about half a dozen guys in the room, he'd apparently charged them for the pleasure but neglected to inform her!!

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By *luezuluMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

"I got slated then blocked because I refused to go to a guys house for a first meet! "

Who in their right mind would block you,

you're delicious

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I got slated then blocked because I refused to go to a guys house for a first meet! "

NO sweat lost on that one then. I actually like it when someone shows their colours right up front.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never in a million years would I do a meet at someones house. Club meets only. If they don't like it tough!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had loads of first meets at women's or couples houses....also a fair few where they have come to me.

I always offer social first...but sometimes not convenient for them. Never really had any problems, or even given it much thought....but actually you are right. It could be a bit risky if I wasn't such a great guy.

Social meets can go wrong too I suppose?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Never in a million years would I do a meet at someones house. Club meets only. If they don't like it tough!"

Good on you. Gosh you are beautiful!! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never in a million years would I do a meet at someones house. Club meets only. If they don't like it tough!

Good on you. Gosh you are beautiful!! Xx

Thank you hun x

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

"I have done lots of house 1st meets.

I am always sure that they dont mind and are happy to go ahead. Usually mine but sometimes theirs.

I must be a trustworthy kind of guy

You're too awesome A! I'm just coming from a safety perspective...read some hairy threads on here about the subject x "

Thankyou my dear...one tries

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the ones that when you first get chatting and explain you only meet in clubs are really cool with that so of course you think yay! Nice person, then after.chatting for however long start pushing for you to come to theirs....... That really winds me up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First meet always somewhere public. And I totally agree about the car thing...when I've said no to someone's house they've tried to get me to come out for a drive instead - which I'm even less likely to do!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Depends.

I've done first meets at peoples houses before. As a couple we've been to parties at peoples houses that we'd not met before. There are plenty of people on the site that we know are friends of friends or via the forums that if we met at home we'd be happy to have rock up at the door.

Random strangers? Not a bloody chance!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I insist upon meeting at a public place initially, just incase she turns out to be a total head case or just plain weird.

I do my due diligence before hand but you can still never be too careful.

Secondly I stick to hotels until I know I'm safe with having that person over my home and that's coming from

a man who has been swinging on and off for around 6 years.

Plus the public place allows one to make a exit more easily.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so the guy who you meet publicly the first time may not be a total weirdo the 2nd time you agree to meet at his or at yours? Some people are very good at appearing charming initially.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so the guy who you meet publicly the first time may not be a total weirdo the 2nd time you agree to meet at his or at yours? Some people are very good at appearing charming initially."

So go house meet first off in that case. At least you can say..."I know where you live" lol

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

Who's to know that someone isn't an axe murderer......not me though!

I prefer a shotgun

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

"Or "I can.accommodate now in......."

Ok mate I will drop everything, abandon my kids and everything so I can ride you

Sorry whats your name?

Lol god really? ???

All the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so the guy who you meet publicly the first time may not be a total weirdo the 2nd time you agree to meet at his or at yours? Some people are very good at appearing charming initially."

Which is why I meet at a hotel and if I am murdered or anything else for that matter....come check out time....they'll find me lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so the guy who you meet publicly the first time may not be a total weirdo the 2nd time you agree to meet at his or at yours? Some people are very good at appearing charming initially."

For me it's also about if I don't want to take it further. I've met people for a drink or coffee before and we've not got on in real life - and if I was in their house I'd have felt very uncomfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive been chatting to a women over the phone for couple weeks now , and shes coming to mine next Saturday , shes very genuine and ive cammed with her this will be my 1st meet on here were going to have a drink here and i even asked her would you like me to cook you something , i said id get hotel over her way but shes happy to travel , i thought that was very polite of her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so the guy who you meet publicly the first time may not be a total weirdo the 2nd time you agree to meet at his or at yours? Some people are very good at appearing charming initially.

Absolutely spot on!! Could not have said it better myself!

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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago

A seaside town near you!

"I got slated then blocked because I refused to go to a guys house for a first meet!

Who in their right mind would block you,

you're delicious

Thank you (you bloody smoothy!) xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so the guy who you meet publicly the first time may not be a total weirdo the 2nd time you agree to meet at his or at yours? Some people are very good at appearing charming initially.

Totally agree. I'd never consent to meeting someone for sex if I hadn't met them socially first now. I have done it in the past and regretted it having a few bad meets. Socially, you can just thank them for the drink and leave!

Miss F

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

"so the guy who you meet publicly the first time may not be a total weirdo the 2nd time you agree to meet at his or at yours? Some people are very good at appearing charming initially."

So how do you meet people then ?

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her"

Ive seen your pics.

No way Id turn up at yours with all those hooded guys and rope lying a around.

I'd be trussed up like a pot roast in minutes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting reading some of these comments about not meeting on a first meet at someone's house,so curious when you regard it safe to do so, surely not after 1 meet we hope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't accomodate and won't go to someone's house. First meet only ever a social. If someone doesn't like that, I don't meet them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her

Ive seen your pics.

No way Id turn up at yours with all those hooded guys and rope lying a around.

I'd be trussed up like a pot roast in minutes

"
Thats Gimp, dont he look smart

Her

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her

Ive seen your pics.

No way Id turn up at yours with all those hooded guys and rope lying a around.

I'd be trussed up like a pot roast in minutes

Thats Gimp, dont he look smart

Her"

Yeah, hed probably win Best Dressed in Axe Murderers Monthly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her

Ive seen your pics.

No way Id turn up at yours with all those hooded guys and rope lying a around.

I'd be trussed up like a pot roast in minutes

Thats Gimp, dont he look smart

Her

Yeah, hed probably win Best Dressed in Axe Murderers Monthly

"
Sheep shearers monthly

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her

Ive seen your pics.

No way Id turn up at yours with all those hooded guys and rope lying a around.

I'd be trussed up like a pot roast in minutes

Thats Gimp, dont he look smart

Her

Yeah, hed probably win Best Dressed in Axe Murderers Monthly

Sheep shearers monthly

No sheep would come within 100miles of anyone dressed like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting reading some of these comments about not meeting on a first meet at someone's house,so curious when you regard it safe to do so, surely not after 1 meet we hope "

Never.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her

Ive seen your pics.

No way Id turn up at yours with all those hooded guys and rope lying a around.

I'd be trussed up like a pot roast in minutes

Thats Gimp, dont he look smart

Her

Yeah, hed probably win Best Dressed in Axe Murderers Monthly

Sheep shearers monthly

No sheep would come within 100miles of anyone dressed like that."
Do you not admire the look?

Her

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I don't often meet in a pub or café, as I'm not exactly the most convincing girly in the world (I get away with more than I should) and not many guys want to sit in a café with me. Similarly these peeps seldom want to meet in a gay pub. Hence I meet at clubs or at a dogging site I know and where I know enough peeps to make dismembering without someone asking them to desist unlikely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so the guy who you meet publicly the first time may not be a total weirdo the 2nd time you agree to meet at his or at yours? Some people are very good at appearing charming initially.

So how do you meet people then ?"

I prefer to meet at my house (as you well know). The point i was trying to make was when does the meet become safe? Just because they may appear nice on an initial social/public meet, how do you know that they won't turn nasty on a 2nd meet when you feel comfortable. We all take risks. The safest option would be to meet in a club i suppose but then again, wasn't a guy in a club found guilty of rape recently?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First meet, public place. Safe for and them. Also why would you give out your home address to someone you've never met?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her

Ive seen your pics.

No way Id turn up at yours with all those hooded guys and rope lying a around.

I'd be trussed up like a pot roast in minutes

Thats Gimp, dont he look smart

Her

Yeah, hed probably win Best Dressed in Axe Murderers Monthly

Sheep shearers monthly

No sheep would come within 100miles of anyone dressed like that."

Little do Ewe know

Im a Wool magnet me

Gimp

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Is it just me or what.....I personally wouldn't meet someone on a first meet in their home from a safety perspective. I'm actually amazed especially how single women do/allow. Do you have any stories how this backfired when you did?

We have had first meets at people's houses before and it's been fine. Just because we have gone to someone's house, doesn't mean we are definitely going to have sex. If there is no spark or for whatever reason everyone isn't happy, we leave after having a drink and chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"
+1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a no for me. It pisses me of men expect to be let into my family home. This is my safe haven

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's different for couples. If I was with a partner or even just another friend I'd feel differently to how I do meeting someone on my own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was single I wouldn't be happy going to someones house until I had met them a couple of times and had an escape route planned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day, you will do whatever you are most comfortable with....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her"

Exactly, some men seem to think they are safe but I too know of a very serious incident which happened to a mate when he met a couple on here

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I meet in a public place first but have on many occasions taken them back to mine after an hour or so chat...I have a safety buddy who knows where I am, profile name and any other details like phone number and I text her when the person leaves.

We all take risks and I'm guessing we all have our own methods of keeping as safe as possible...

The only time I've ever gotten into trouble was years ago in vanilla land when I ended up somewhere I didn't expect to be, with someone I wouldn't have ever gone with - to this day, I don't know whether my drink was spiked or if I just drank too much - I do know I wouldn't have fucked him if I'd been compos mentis, but I just chalked it up to experience as I wasn't hurt (other than my pride)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her

Exactly, some men seem to think they are safe but I too know of a very serious incident which happened to a mate when he met a couple on here

"
yes, same here, this was not on this site, but a single woman, set a man up, two males waiting inside, he had to run for his life

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The point i was trying to make was when does the meet become safe? Just because they may appear nice on an initial social/public meet, how do you know that they won't turn nasty on a 2nd meet when you feel comfortable. We all take risks. The safest option would be to meet in a club i suppose but then again, wasn't a guy in a club found guilty of rape recently?"

Was just away to type this glad I read up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her

Exactly, some men seem to think they are safe but I too know of a very serious incident which happened to a mate when he met a couple on here

"
On here? That was kept quiet.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I almost always go to the guys place for the first meet....always have

Other way round for me. They come to mine. Not had a problem with it.

They can be as charming as you like in public but could turn once in private so meeting in public just gives a false sense of security as far as I can see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always meet at our home social or otherwise. Only other option is a child friendly venue with two babies in the buggy. We think our place with kids in bed is the better option lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I almost always go to the guys place for the first meet....always have

Other way round for me. They come to mine. Not had a problem with it.

They can be as charming as you like in public but could turn once in private so meeting in public just gives a false sense of security as far as I can see."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hopefully going to try a club night @ infusions or connections sometime soon! Although I have to agree with the majority of the ladies on here! The whole idea of a meet is to feel connected with that person on a level where they can be themselves and not have to worry about being in an environment they don't feel comfortable in.

Some very beautiful women in this thread with strong minds

would have to be a social meet first in a social place or club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We always meet at our home social or otherwise. Only other option is a child friendly venue with two babies in the buggy. We think our place with kids in bed is the better option lol"

Don't you ever get nervous letting a stranger in the house with your children?? I'm not sure I could, wouldnt feel right

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"so the guy who you meet publicly the first time may not be a total weirdo the 2nd time you agree to meet at his or at yours? Some people are very good at appearing charming initially."

Valid point. When we meet anyone new even in a professional capacity the first 5 seconds are the most crucial. I generally like to have a chilled public meeting taking my time. I find peeps who have a desperate aire about them, unattractive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her"

Gosh I can well imagine

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I almost always go to the guys place for the first meet....always have

Other way round for me. They come to mine. Not had a problem with it.

They can be as charming as you like in public but could turn once in private so meeting in public just gives a false sense of security as far as I can see."

Oooo sweetheart your inbox is going to overflowing. Then that's what you going to attract.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her

Exactly, some men seem to think they are safe but I too know of a very serious incident which happened to a mate when he met a couple on here

On here? That was kept quiet.

Yikes...well seems we need to watch our backs regardless who we meet

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

"I have seen stories where single men have to watch themselves too.

Her

Exactly, some men seem to think they are safe but I too know of a very serious incident which happened to a mate when he met a couple on here

On here? That was kept quiet.

Yikes...well seems we need to watch our backs regardless who we meet

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I meet in a public place first but have on many occasions taken them back to mine after an hour or so chat...I have a safety buddy who knows where I am, profile name and any other details like phone number and I text her when the person leaves.

We all take risks and I'm guessing we all have our own methods of keeping as safe as possible...

Good plan to have a safety buddy. Back in Cape Town I had one...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We always meet at our home social or otherwise. Only other option is a child friendly venue with two babies in the buggy. We think our place with kids in bed is the better option lol

Don't you ever get nervous letting a stranger in the house with your children?? I'm not sure I could, wouldnt feel right"

Two of us and two large rottwiellers they would pretty much have to come in with an oozie and grenades to become a threat

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I almost always go to the guys place for the first meet....always have

Other way round for me. They come to mine. Not had a problem with it.

They can be as charming as you like in public but could turn once in private so meeting in public just gives a false sense of security as far as I can see.

Oooo sweetheart your inbox is going to overflowing. Then that's what you going to attract. "

Not sure what you mean by this.

And, I extremely cautious with who I meet. Been on here over 3 years and on other sites prior to this without a problem. At 51 I don't take the risks I did when I was clubbing in my 20s and 30s. I am sober when I meet - no alcohol unlike years ago, copping off when you were on the raz.

Anyone who believes that they are safe because they have met someone once in a cafe is probably labouring under some delusion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Given some of the stories my friends have told me, I think you girls are absolutely right to play it safe and, any male that objects to meeting in a public place, even if it leads to play straight thereafter, has questionable ethics. Stay safe girls. ..... FFS I've turned into dad again lol

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"Given some of the stories my friends have told me, I think you girls are absolutely right to play it safe and, any male that objects to meeting in a public place, even if it leads to play straight thereafter, has questionable ethics. Stay safe girls. ..... FFS I've turned into dad again lol

It is safety, but I'm not blinded that meeting someone in public once is a sure fire way to out the wrong uns.

But it does give a good indication of what someone is after. I had a meet cancel last minute after I made it clear it would only be a social, and that i was not going back to his house after it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is safety, but I'm not blinded that meeting someone in public once is a sure fire way to out the wrong uns.

But it does give a good indication of what someone is after. I had a meet cancel last minute after I made it clear it would only be a social, and that i was not going back to his house after it. "

Having a social only meet first is great at ing out the types I don't want to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always meet in a public place and get there in my own car so i can make hasty escape if needs be.

A guy refused to meet me in public from here and insisted on me giving my address - as if?!?

Blocked and reported. Danger to women guys like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always meet in a public place and get there in my own car so i can make hasty escape if needs be.

A guy refused to meet me in public from here and insisted on me giving my address - as if?!?

Blocked and reported. Danger to women guys like that."

Why report them? Lots of people give their addresses and meet at home.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Always meet in a public place and get there in my own car so i can make hasty escape if needs be.

A guy refused to meet me in public from here and insisted on me giving my address - as if?!?

Blocked and reported. Danger to women guys like that.

Why report them? Lots of people give their addresses and meet at home."

I wouldn't necessarily report someone for that, though I'd likely block. If someone is daft enough to give their addy to a stranger then I've not got too much sympathy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of guys would rather not do so but you get all sorts of shit as a guy and accusations which is not called for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We tend to go to parties and clubs so its not really an issue and there are two of us.

Whilst I agree meeting socially is a good thing, it isn't always safer and there are risks when you et someone into your home, regardless of how many previous public meetings you've had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very interesting reading this thread.

I've met social and done house meets.

The social one can give the wrong impression of someone as they can be very nervy and feel awkward.

On the otherhand house meets can be scary when you or they first step through the door.

Touch wood I've always had a good meet where ever it is. If no touchy freely happens then at least I've had a laugh and met a similar minded person.

I'm a down to earth chappie and if nothing happens then I'm cool with it and just go home for a wank instead.

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