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damaged love!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

struggled with how to say this but please bear with me,

I was so in love with my ex that when we split it hit me like a sledgehammer !!!

I have had a few vanilla relationships since we split and believe me they where great, but I found that I couldn't give all of myself because I feel that I have been damaged !!!

I really don't know how to explain this, but I can't give the whole of me to someone else !!!! you wouldn't think so to see me in a new relationship as I am very attentive and giving !!!

But I can feel myself being held back.

I just feel the hurt that I went through has damaged me forever and it is never going to change.

So just wondered if anyone else felt the same !!! don't really want to be the only one lol.

Like I said I can't really put it into words but hope you guys can maybe understand where I am coming from.

Sorry to prattle on !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you're trying to say that you're protecting yourself from being hurt again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"struggled with how to say this but please bear with me,

I was so in love with my ex that when we split it hit me like a sledgehammer !!!

I have had a few vanilla relationships since we split and believe me they where great, but I found that I couldn't give all of myself because I feel that I have been damaged !!!

I really don't know how to explain this, but I can't give the whole of me to someone else !!!! you wouldn't think so to see me in a new relationship as I am very attentive and giving !!!

But I can feel myself being held back.

I just feel the hurt that I went through has damaged me forever and it is never going to change.

So just wondered if anyone else felt the same !!! don't really want to be the only one lol.

Like I said I can't really put it into words but hope you guys can maybe understand where I am coming from.

Sorry to prattle on !!!

"

yep !!!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Think you will find many feel like that when they have been hurt. You will give all yourself when the right person comes along, i know its a clique but when you find mrs right your barriers will all come down, maybe not all at once but with love and trust over a period of time. I would have a guess that everyone has had their heart broken at sometime but you cant let the past interfer with the future unless you want to stay on your own forever. I can see where your coming from i gave myself completly when i was 17-22 and then not again until i was 41 simply because noone i wanted to give my whole self too (including my ex husband) had come along

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i know im emotionally damaged which is why im on here ,,but not damaged in any other way and im hopeful in time the damage and hurt will fade and i will be able to love again ....in the meantime i like men and i want to enjoy the best of them !! for the record he was the only guy in my life for 35 years id never even kissed another guy......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the OP:

Unless you can detach sex from love I would say that in swinging you are going to get your heart broken a few more times. A lot of single women in swinging are here for the sex only (because they too are 'damaged', *note I said a LOT, not all), and the moment you start showing emotional attachment they will run a mile.

You need to be sure that if you meet a woman through swinging, and you hit it off, that you would be comfortable with her being herself and wanting other men - or even women come to that. If you can't, then swinging isn't for you and you'll save yourself a bucket load of grief if you come to terms with that now.

Good luck.

Wishy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To the OP:

Unless you can detach sex from love I would say that in swinging you are going to get your heart broken a few more times. A lot of single women in swinging are here for the sex only (because they too are 'damaged', *note I said a LOT, not all), and the moment you start showing emotional attachment they will run a mile.

You need to be sure that if you meet a woman through swinging, and you hit it off, that you would be comfortable with her being herself and wanting other men - or even women come to that. If you can't, then swinging isn't for you and you'll save yourself a bucket load of grief if you come to terms with that now.

Good luck.

Wishy."

thanks for that,

But to be honest it's not really prelevant to my post !!!!

I am not on here to find love !!! is anyone lol.

I am on here like everyone else to meet some great people and maybe have some fantastic sex !! and so far I can truthfully say that is the case. I can also say that I have made some great friends as well.

I divorced nearly 3 years ago and I am past the grieving stage !!! honest lol.

But she was the one and only !! to quote a bad song from back in the day ooops !!.

Like I said I know I am damaged goods and I also know it's a shame, I have a lot to give just not love.

But thank you for your reply it was very perceptive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To the OP:

Unless you can detach sex from love I would say that in swinging you are going to get your heart broken a few more times. A lot of single women in swinging are here for the sex only (because they too are 'damaged', *note I said a LOT, not all), and the moment you start showing emotional attachment they will run a mile.

You need to be sure that if you meet a woman through swinging, and you hit it off, that you would be comfortable with her being herself and wanting other men - or even women come to that. If you can't, then swinging isn't for you and you'll save yourself a bucket load of grief if you come to terms with that now.

Good luck.

Wishy.

thanks for that,

But to be honest it's not really prelevant to my post !!!!

I am not on here to find love !!! is anyone lol.

I am on here like everyone else to meet some great people and maybe have some fantastic sex !! and so far I can truthfully say that is the case. I can also say that I have made some great friends as well.

I divorced nearly 3 years ago and I am past the grieving stage !!! honest lol.

But she was the one and only !! to quote a bad song from back in the day ooops !!.

Like I said I know I am damaged goods and I also know it's a shame, I have a lot to give just not love.

But thank you for your reply it was very perceptive.

"

I think Wishy's post was totally relevant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got an issue with the damaged part tho..... because it's discussed in terms of women only.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

AND......... No one is 'damaged goods' simply because they've had life changing experiences.

I HATE negative phrases like that and the damage they do to people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"AND......... No one is 'damaged goods' simply because they've had life changing experiences.

I HATE negative phrases like that and the damage they do to people. "

not sure i see the damage in a negative way,,cos i m a happy bunny !! but i know its stopping me wanting to get too close to someone again ...which is why i love FAB !!

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By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

Oh yes i understand 100%, been like that since my first love. have never given anyone the full attention since even since being married, that is why I am on here. x

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus


"struggled with how to say this but please bear with me,

I was so in love with my ex that when we split it hit me like a sledgehammer !!!

I have had a few vanilla relationships since we split and believe me they where great, but I found that I couldn't give all of myself because I feel that I have been damaged !!!

I really don't know how to explain this, but I can't give the whole of me to someone else !!!! you wouldn't think so to see me in a new relationship as I am very attentive and giving !!!

But I can feel myself being held back.

I just feel the hurt that I went through has damaged me forever and it is never going to change.

So just wondered if anyone else felt the same !!! don't really want to be the only one lol.

Like I said I can't really put it into words but hope you guys can maybe understand where I am coming from.

Sorry to prattle on !!!

"

I lost the love of my life 15 years ago in a car accident. I never thought I'd get over it and it took me 5 years to even start feeling normal.

3 years ago, I met Jason.

I got a second chance and I tell you what, I may have been damaged goods before I met Jason (I know dam well I was), but I am not now.

Jason is now the 'one and only.' I never thought it would happen and I never thought anyone would get the whole of me again......... but time is a great healer and I always follow the old adage "If in doubt, don't do it" and my own mantra, "If you can't image your life without him, then make sure you keep him forever."

OP...... you be as detached as you need to be, if one day there is meant to be another 'one and only', there will be!

Don't rush things..... time heals many things and if it doesn't, you just need to learn to live with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To the OP:

Unless you can detach sex from love I would say that in swinging you are going to get your heart broken a few more times. A lot of single women in swinging are here for the sex only (because they too are 'damaged', *note I said a LOT, not all), and the moment you start showing emotional attachment they will run a mile.

You need to be sure that if you meet a woman through swinging, and you hit it off, that you would be comfortable with her being herself and wanting other men - or even women come to that. If you can't, then swinging isn't for you and you'll save yourself a bucket load of grief if you come to terms with that now.

Good luck.

Wishy.

thanks for that,

But to be honest it's not really prelevant to my post !!!!

I am not on here to find love !!! is anyone lol.

I am on here like everyone else to meet some great people and maybe have some fantastic sex !! and so far I can truthfully say that is the case. I can also say that I have made some great friends as well.

I divorced nearly 3 years ago and I am past the grieving stage !!! honest lol.

But she was the one and only !! to quote a bad song from back in the day ooops !!.

Like I said I know I am damaged goods and I also know it's a shame, I have a lot to give just not love.

But thank you for your reply it was very perceptive.

I think Wishy's post was totally relevant. "

So did I!

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