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if you were writing ur autobiography how would you start the first page

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By *aptain V OP   Man
over a year ago

Birstall, Leicester

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably "you've just paid a tenner for a blank book" lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

ooo good question. That isn't how I would start my autobiography of course.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

You can call me Ishmael, or Sandy for short

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

Once upon a time ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once upon a time.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Sir Henry.......after surviving what became known as the battle of Hastings, moved north...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Rumour has it I was born........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yer not gonna believe this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who said life begins at 40?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello my name is mrs F, and I have an addiction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came, I saw, i shagged

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham


"Once upon a time. "

Copy cat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go and get yourself a coffee, no on second thoughts a naked barista, a box of Kleenex and phone in sick from work. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I entered the world how I'm destined to leave it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some people in life who are witty, devilishly good looking and a wow at parties. Others dedicate their lives to science, the arts and other worthy causes.

This is not their story...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once upon a time.

Copy cat"

Plagiariser.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are some people in life who are witty, devilishly good looking and a wow at parties. Others dedicate their lives to science, the arts and other worthy causes.

This is not their story..."

PMSL

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham


"Once upon a time.

Copy cat

Plagiariser. "

Oh no I'm not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I waa born in Liverpool, first bin on the right.

From the moment I was born I've been a gobshite.

Dipping in bins was my first lesson in life,

Getting beat up in Tocky was my daily strife,

In our wheelie bins, in our wheelie bins,

We knicked knickers out drying to stop being glum,

We'd run up paths and play knock and run

In our wheelie bins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I waa born in Liverpool, first bin on the right.

From the moment I was born I've been a gobshite.

Dipping in bins was my first lesson in life,

Getting beat up in Tocky was my daily strife,

In our wheelie bins, in our wheelie bins,

We knicked knickers out drying to stop being glum,

We'd run up paths and play knock and run

In our wheelie bins

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are some people in life who are witty, devilishly good looking and a wow at parties. Others dedicate their lives to science, the arts and other worthy causes.

This is not their story..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chapter one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I waa born in Liverpool, first bin on the right.

From the moment I was born I've been a gobshite.

Dipping in bins was my first lesson in life,

Getting beat up in Tocky was my daily strife,

In our wheelie bins, in our wheelie bins,

We knicked knickers out drying to stop being glum,

We'd run up paths and play knock and run

In our wheelie bins

"

Lol

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By *aptain V OP   Man
over a year ago

Birstall, Leicester

What ever happened in the past stays in the past but ........

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By *D40Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Thank god for that, i'm out of that dark, wet place & into the light!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Push!! Push!! I see the head!!"

And out I popped. Haven't looked back since!

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By *punkloverCouple
over a year ago

hatfield

strap yourself in and enjoy the ride !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a Ride.

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Don't bother to sit down, this won't take long'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I chose something else!

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By *ihimbiherCouple
over a year ago

lightwater

In the begining god created me!

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

you couldnt make this shit up !!

but stick with me guys ..it gets worse !!

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By *aptain V OP   Man
over a year ago

Birstall, Leicester

It's all lies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would quite literally be:

"WARNING! READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED"..

In a Growwlllll!!

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By *aptain V OP   Man
over a year ago

Birstall, Leicester

How sex lies and drugs let to murder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" "

all the following events, are true... suspend your disbelief. It's gonna be a rough and rocky ride. Names changed to protect the innocent...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was born in a trunk.

Mama died and my daddy got d*unk.

Left me here to die alone

In the middle of Tobacco Road.

Growin' up rusty shack,

All I had was hangin' on my back.

Only you know how I loathe

This place called Tobacco Road.

But it's home, the only life I ever known.

Only you know how I loathe Tobacco Road.

Gonna leave, get a job

With the help and the grace from above.

Save some money, get rich and old,

Bring it back to Tobacco Road.

But it's home, the only life I ever known.

Only you know how I loathe Tobacco Road.

Bring that dynamite and a crane,

Blow it up, start all over again.

Build a town, be proud to show.

Gives the name Tobacco Road

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

In the beginning Wyrdwoman was created.

This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

(With apologies to Douglas Adams)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It could only happen to you", well, I am the above said 'you'....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Given up at birth for adoption some time after Rhodesia unilaterally declared indepence, this 'unnamed white male' has been somewhat luckier in life that the original odds would lead one to expect...

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"I entered the world how I'm destined to leave it "

screaming?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I entered the world how I'm destined to leave it

screaming?"

I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandad, not screaming like his bus passengers

I'll get my coat...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was the summer of 1989 when I discovered music, proper music that is, none of the shite electro pop that had dominated my teenage years, I'm talking of course about the Stone Roses. It was also the summer in which I was introduced to alcohol, proper alcohol that is, not a glass of wine with the family over Sunday lunch, but the joys of too many beers and not yet knowing the point at which you should stop. And finally it was the summer where I realised what sex was, proper sex that is, not the five knuckle shuffle and the deeply unsatisfying _iews of the VHS porn video that was kept secretly stashed at the bottom of the wardrobe. No, I'm talking proper sex, with proper girls. The summer of 1989 was to be the most amazing time and where my life really began.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think I would begin mine with setting the scene at the date, time and location of my birth

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I felt different from the other boys......

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Once upon a time

(well if its good enough for Dai Beckam)

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

the russians were thinking of launching their first satelite .. sputnic one .. when my father decided to create his son olov 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a distant planet in a far away galaxy....

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By *a-ra-ra-boom-de-ayCouple
over a year ago

Wish it was the Algarve! Aberdeenshire

I hope your 18? Then lets begin..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Today is the first blank page of a 352 page book...............

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

DONT PANIC !

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

pics as a toddler

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a long story.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i never wanted to write this book. I all ways wanted to be a lumber jack, to swing from tree to tree and sail down the mighty rivers of british coloumbia with my best girl at my side and sing sign oh im a lumber jack and im ok .........

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

in the beggining there was ..........

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By *afadaoMan
over a year ago

Staines

"To this day I can't explain how a pink elephant found its way onto my head"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never ment to eat that biscuit, it dared me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember when Mum and Dad accidentally set fire to me while I was asleep in my bed.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth but it took the place a while to get itself ready for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.....and the inbetweenie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was born under a bad sign, and things went downhill from there.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Well, they said it wouldn't all be beer and skittles.....

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

[Removed by poster at 13/10/14 21:19:51]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I first met my Mother on the 28th March .......

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle


""I first met my Mother on the 28th March ......."

Not "well every bodies gotta be somewhere"

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By *aptain V OP   Man
over a year ago

Birstall, Leicester

A wise man once said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""I first met my Mother on the 28th March .......

Not "well every bodies gotta be somewhere" "

No that followed a few minutes later when I enquired as to my whereabouts ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cold and Naked. Well they say start as you mean to go on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was born at a very early age ....

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By *ediceTV/TS
over a year ago

Wrexham

My Mother was happy. She'd always wanted a boy...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see myself as a mix of ghandi and jesus.. very chilled and down to earth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a land far far away....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello there, I hope you enjoy the book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As my ship came close to planet Earth...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/10/14 09:10:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Legend has it that on a 21st October of 1986 ...

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By *layer oneMan
over a year ago

mirfield

The end.... Or is this the beginning?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Diary of a sex pest, day one...

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