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would love phone sex now

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Would anyone like to help me out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah there's loads to be found on t'internet. And some of the prices are very reasonable these days, only £25 a second for some premium rate lines

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yeah there's loads to be found on t'internet. And some of the prices are very reasonable these days, only £25 a second for some premium rate lines "

Gee thanks

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

You don't need help for phone sex.

Slip a condom on it, lube up and pop it in!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, use plenty of lube before you try to get it up your arse. Take it slow.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"Yeah, use plenty of lube before you try to get it up your arse. Take it slow. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah, use plenty of lube before you try to get it up your arse. Take it slow.

"

The trick is to always be ready to do it when the PPI company calls. So "Steve" from Mumbai gets the full squelchy goodness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah, use plenty of lube before you try to get it up your arse. Take it slow.

The trick is to always be ready to do it when the PPI company calls. So "Steve" from Mumbai gets the full squelchy goodness. "

That's sounds so wrong but if done would be funny as fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah, use plenty of lube before you try to get it up your arse. Take it slow.

The trick is to always be ready to do it when the PPI company calls. So "Steve" from Mumbai gets the full squelchy goodness.

That's sounds so wrong but if done would be funny as fuck "

You need a phone with a cord though to get it back out. Did it with a rechargeable once. Having to go to A+E cos my arse was ringing isn't funny

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"Yeah, use plenty of lube before you try to get it up your arse. Take it slow.

The trick is to always be ready to do it when the PPI company calls. So "Steve" from Mumbai gets the full squelchy goodness. "

Bwahahahaha

*makes mental note*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop it, laughed that hard then I was close to doing a little wee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/10/14 09:31:04]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/10/14 09:31:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah, use plenty of lube before you try to get it up your arse. Take it slow.

The trick is to always be ready to do it when the PPI company calls. So "Steve" from Mumbai gets the full squelchy goodness.

That's sounds so wrong but if done would be funny as fuck

You need a phone with a cord though to get it back out. Did it with a rechargeable once. Having to go to A+E cos my arse was ringing isn't funny "

You could always have the Post Horn Gallop as a ringtone....Dededen dededen dededendenden. Dededen dededen dededendenden. Dededen dededen dededendenden den duuuurn dededen.

And make sure your phone is set to vibrate. Even more pleasurable when the PPI folk call

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same boring jokes. Hes asking a question and you post the same shite. Some people like phone sex. Belive it or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same boring jokes. Hes asking a question and you post the same shite. Some people like phone sex. Belive it or not"

If these comments aren't ringing his bell, he could always call 118118...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never had sex with a phone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah, use plenty of lube before you try to get it up your arse. Take it slow. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Same boring jokes. Hes asking a question and you post the same shite. Some people like phone sex. Belive it or not"

True, but they're all (by definition) wankers, and for the main not necessarily swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never had sex with a phone "

Neither have I. Knowing my luck some one would ring me in the middle of it lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've never had sex with a phone

Neither have I. Knowing my luck some one would ring me in the middle of it lol. "

Yep, on my speed-dial. Then sit back & enjoy the show!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont give up your day jobs. Yaaawww-

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dont give up your day jobs. Yaaawww-"

This IS my day job

0898oooyounawtyboi

Ringading Gimp

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Send me your number and I'll get my Gran to ring you. She loves a good session on the phone...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

innocent question

How the hell do you have sex with a phone? It's surely a bit of a bit of a one sided thing? And where the feck does the foreplay come into it?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


" innocent question

How the hell do you have sex with a phone? It's surely a bit of a bit of a one sided thing? And where the feck does the foreplay come into it?

"

I fucked my work blackberry once.

*it fell out of my pocket getting into the car and I reversed over it!

A

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