FabSwingers.com forum: Ectopic

By *ittykate84 OP Woman
over a year ago

CHESTER

I suffered from an ectopic pregnancy last year, i had just left my husband and didnt suspect anything was wrong, i have some problems with my stomach so it was all put down to that!

Only because i couldnt feel my implant in my arm was I referred to a specialist gynaecologist who by chance did a test, by this point my tube had ruptured and I was bleeding internally so it became emergency surgery!

Tomorrow is the 1st anniversary, last night i managed to fall over and hurt my stomach so the pain is making me really overly emotional!

Have any other ladies gone through this, how did you cope, i dont really have anyone to talk about it with as my mum & cousin who were two of the only people who knew have forgotten about it it seems so hard to bring it up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't gone through anything like that, it sounds like it was an awful experience. I did do IVF a number of times though before it worked and that was hard emotionally.My family and friends helped me tremendously.

You should talk to your Mum and cousin, they may not want to bring the subject up for fear of upsetting you. Make sure you share your sadness and feelings, as it was a loss at a very emotional time. Talking it out won't lessen your feelings of loss, but it will definitely help. There may be an online site as well for others who have had a similar experience, I used to use an IVF site a lot and made a lot of friends from it that helped me emormously.

Be extra kind to yourself. xx

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I had a suspected one when I was pregnant but it turned out to be a cyst. It was very upsetting at the time.

My sister had an ectopic pregnancy before her first child and had to have emergency surgery to remove the fallopian tube. She has gone on to give birth to three healthy children since then.

If its something that is causing you depression you can get free counselling sometimes. It could be you just need to talk it out with someone.

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

It has never happened to me but I agree with the others, you must talk to someone. If not your family then a counsellor.

My sister lost her baby quite a few years ago but I still remember the date, I will forever remember it. I make sure that I give her an extra big squashy hug and she knows she can talk to me about it any time she wants. No matter how long has past.

Please don't struggle through the sad days alone try and find someone to help you. Ohhhh I wish I could hug you right now!!!

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

I've had 3 miscarriages so I feel your pain one stands out more than the others as my nan had died not long before so made it even harder. My dad accused me of making it up for attention so I felt so let down. I think when things like this happens in the long term it only continues to affect us. Now every year I take a quiet day to remember the children I never had. Doing this makes it easier on me than 3 seperate occasions.

Hugs to you xx

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I lost a baby 4 years ago and 4 years later I'm still in counselling. It has knocked me for sixth and if I'm honest I still haven't got over it. Keep your chin up xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The loss of a child is devastating we lost a little girl 2 years ago and being honest you never get over it. But talking to family and friends makes it slightly better. Pm us if you want to vent as hubby still is in the anger phase so knows how to deal with it. Big hugs

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By *ittykate84 OP Woman
over a year ago

CHESTER

Thank you everyone!

I think my cousi has forgot as I rang the other day to tell her news about a new job and when i said I have news, she blurted out 'you're pregnant' which really hurt!

I tried counselling but I am such a private person I hated talking, its who I always have been, harder for me to talk face to face about something than it is too type!

I think it was the trauma more than anything I had no time to realise I was pregnant, i was a few hours from bleeding out completely they said, i got blood poisoning as I am A negative and following it got several infections, ripped stitches and a blot clot so I think in a way my body is remembering the upheaval it went through!

My friend wants me to go out tonight im not sure if alcohol really is a good idea or not!

Thank you for all the hugs and back to all you lovely ladies (& gents) too xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffered a ectopic in 2004 and I still often think about it, it's not something you will ever get over. What I've found hardest is that Paul and I struggled to conceive because of it.

When we were trying for a baby it was in my thoughts all the time. We have been unsuccessful and decided to move on with our life's but it's something I for one won't ever get over but I could say I've now come to terms with it. I lost my dad exactly one year after I lost my baby so I do a balloon release every may to mark it for both of them. Big hugs xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Losing a baby whether it be early on in the pregnancy, midway, late on or after the birth will always be traumatic. A few years ago i lost my unborn baby. I was just over seven months pregnant, and had been involved in a fatal car accident. It was the most horric thing i have experienced on my life. Not a day goes by that i dont think about him.

Like others have said you may need to seek counselling to help you through it. It helps to talk to someone

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By *orneyashell87Couple
over a year ago

stockotn on tees

I have had 9 miscarriages and an eptoic which resulted in me nearly losing my life. We then went on to have ivf which never worked the 3 times.

We know ur pain hun and I always think about the babies I've lost n always will

Always have hope as we moved on with our lives then fell naturally with our daughter who's now 2 with only 5% chance of conceiving then fell again with our son who's now 1.

Keep ur chin up hun

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By *ittykate84 OP Woman
over a year ago

CHESTER

"I suffered a ectopic in 2004 and I still often think about it, it's not something you will ever get over. What I've found hardest is that Paul and I struggled to conceive because of it.

Im so sorry thats awful

Losing your dad around the same time cannot be easy!

Huge hugs to you both xxx

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By *ittykate84 OP Woman
over a year ago

CHESTER

"I have had 9 miscarriages and an eptoic which resulted in me nearly losing my life. We then went on to have ivf which never worked the 3 times.

We know ur pain hun and I always think about the babies I've lost n always will

Always have hope as we moved on with our lives then fell naturally with our daughter who's now 2 with only 5% chance of conceiving then fell again with our son who's now 1.

Keep ur chin up hun

Xx"

I cannot imagine how painful that is!

I dont think I would ever try again but will never say never but for a long time it will be too scary for me to think of it!

I hope you hug her extra tight each night she truly is a little miracle xxx

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I suffered from an ectopic pregnancy last year, i had just left my husband and didnt suspect anything was wrong, i have some problems with my stomach so it was all put down to that!

Tomorrow is the 1st anniversary, last night i managed to fall over and hurt my stomach so the pain is making me really overly emotional!

I lost my 2 week old son in april of last year and i am just staring to reach the 2nd anniversary of dates of conception, finding out i was pregnant etc, im still in pieces and suspect i always will be, people cope different, i have covered my body in tattoos in his memory, my house in little memorial things, just how i like to remember him xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely talk about my miscarriages. It feels too personal, too painful to burden others with.

I made memory boxes for both of my children. A teddy, the positive test sticks, a prayer card, scan photos. Little things I can touch and remember them in quiet moments. It helps me to feel close to them.

Maybe you could do something similar, when you feel ready.

As others have said, be kind to yourself. Take time out and allow yourself to process everything that's happened. Trauma and loss are the hardest things we ever have to deal with. You'll find your own way.

Take good care x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't neither should I make any comment on this subject.

All I wish to say I hope all turns out well for you all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading this thread has brought back memories and tears. I had four miscarriages in the past. One was pretty late in the pregnancy and very traumatic. I now have a son of 9 months who is our absolute world after years of looking into surrogacy etc..

Never the less I still shed a tear and think about my lost children often.

Please speak to someone as I bottled it all up for years and on my 30th had a complete meltdown.

Hopefully this thread will make you see that there is life after losing your angel but its ok and perfectly normal to be sad.

Big hugs xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hugs xxxx

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By *ittykate84 OP Woman
over a year ago

CHESTER

Went out with my mates and managed to have a complete meltdown.. Coupled with every guy give me a wide birth I just lost it and cant stop crying

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I've had 3 miscarriages so I feel your pain one stands out more than the others as my nan had died not long before so made it even harder. My dad accused me of making it up for attention so I felt so let down. I think when things like this happens in the long term it only continues to affect us. Now every year I take a quiet day to remember the children I never had. Doing this makes it easier on me than 3 seperate occasions.

Hugs to you xx"

I do something similar on the anniversary of my son's birth to mark his short life and all the babies before and after I lost.

OP, others have said it but don't keep this locked up. Tackle it now. I had an almost ectopic loss (right on the edge of the tube) and I can recall the fear, the panic and the speed the hospital moved at to save me from a rupture. That overrode the pregnancy loss at the time and it was only after the loss of the baby came back to haunt me. Everyone was very concentrated on saving me and me not having had a rupture - it was like they were almost celebrating. They all forgot about my baby and how much I wanted that baby.

I felt I couldn't talk then but I might have saved myself years of heartache if I had.

I hope you find a way to lessen your pain and I am so sorry for your loss.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Went out with my mates and managed to have a complete meltdown.. Coupled with every guy give me a wide birth I just lost it and cant stop crying

Tears have a purpose. Let them flow for now and don't beat yourself up about perfectly natural feelings.

PM me if you want to talk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suffered from an ectopic pregnancy last year, i had just left my husband and didnt suspect anything was wrong, i have some problems with my stomach so it was all put down to that!

Tomorrow is the 1st anniversary, last night i managed to fall over and hurt my stomach so the pain is making me really overly emotional!

I'm so sorry you went through that.

You are doing the right thing letting your emotions out though.

I had an ectopic 6 years ago shortly after a misscarriage and the whole experience was just horrible.

I'd never felt so alone.

We're allowed to grieve for what could have been.

I sure did/do sometimes.

XxxxxxxxxX

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

big gentle hugs for you sweetie ..xxx

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

4 years on I still feel like my heart has been ripped out, trod on and jumped on and put back inside me....personal wise I'm going through a lot now and it just brings it all to the surface. OP here is a hug I hope that one day you will be able to find peace

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Tears help heal the soul, let them fall as to bottle them up causes more pain.

There are organisations out there that could possibly help. If you struggle with one to one councilling they may be groups you could attend and feel more comfortable talking that way.

To lose a life of a child is horrendous. To go through more trauma after is just beyond but you are not alone. There are others who gave suffered the post above prove that.

Hugs xx

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By *aturasqCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

Another thread that makes me feel incredibly humble by people's experiences, compassion and love.

I hope the OP and others can take solace that you are not alone x

Bless you all x

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