FabSwingers.com forum: The discretion paradox...

By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago

Beeston

Swinging is something of a paradox: on the one hand an open and honest approach is undoubtedly best for meeting people and yet most of us want our swinging activities kept private as well, after all our sex lives are nobodies business but ours.

Every time you contact a stranger with a face picture, go to a club or meet someone you ultimately rely on others discretion.

I've had that discretion breached once when a former meet told both by ex-girlfriend and my new girlfriend all about it in one foul sweep! Luckily I'd been open with both of them about my past and a difficult and embarressing situation was diffused, but the timing was truly lousy for so many reasons I won't go into here.

I constantly wrestle with the balance between privacy and openess on Fab. What are your thoughts on this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The old discretion issue is an interesting one. We effectively have to trust anyone who comes on here or we meet to keep our privacy. Perhaps we should all try to be less discrete. Bite the bullet and "come out". If everyone who is a swinger did then the whole need for discretion would be removed (unless you are married and laying away). Whether its a club or fab meet I guess really we need to accept that the discretion element can be removed by someone else if they choose to kiss and tell. One of the risks of the game I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

D T A

Don't trust anyone

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I've got a level of immunity to this, as I'm not recognisable from my face pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You think that's the only paradox in swinging?

The whole scene is a mess of paradoxes!

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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago

Beeston

I go through phases on here, there are times I put up public face pics and think 'sod it, if anyone asks about it in the vanilla world I'll just tell them straight what I do', other times I get a bit more paranoid and cautious.

I agree, if we were all a lot more open about it then the whole thing would be a whole lot easier - but I can't ever see that happening.

Ironically I feel looking for uncomplicated sex on here is actually more morally ethical than playing the dating site or pulling women in clubs etc. I sometimes refer to myself as 'an ethical slut'

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By *nvictus OP Man
over a year ago

Beeston

"You think that's the only paradox in swinging?

The whole scene is a mess of paradoxes!

Which is a paradox in it's own right...

I hope I don't cause a temporal rift with this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found two school mates here there's no way I would tell anyone they are here and I suspect it's the same for them two. What baffles me sometimes and when people say 'I cannot post pics due to my job' I get it if you are a CEO or a teacher or a politician or mi6 or you are someone who's in the public eye often and hell! even a Z list celebrity, but if you are a normal person don't even try to make yourself sound important, or maybe you are just playing away from wifey/hubby.

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