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advice required: how to deal with colleagues sensitively

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hello, are there any managers out there who can assist.

We are having a few "communication" problems at work and are having a meeting tomorrow to try and resolve some of the issues which I think is a good thing.

However, I can sometimes go in like a bull in a china shop (some of you may have noticed!!). Whilst not wanting to upset anybody, I do want to put across how I'm feeling. I am 100% certain that my colleagues will have things to say about me which I will take as constructive criticism. But how do I tell somebody that they spend too much time chatting and not enough time working and then they moan that they have too much to do. Is this a "do you think you could prioritise your time a bit better". Also, the same person does have a lot going on at home with looking after elderly parents which I do understand must be difficult but we have heard about it day in, day out for 18 months. I know we are all guilty of bringing our domestic problems into work sometimes but surely there has to be a cut off point?

Also, another lady has a very, very shitty attitude and if she is in a bad mood, we all suffer! Banging around, doors being swung off the hinges almost, snappy etc. How the hell do I bring this up in a diplomatic manner?

I want us all to work as a good team, helping each other to do our jobs the best we can.

I'm not in management or anything by the way and like I said, I am certain that my colleagues will be criticising me. I just fear that tomorrow is going to be very hard and I want us all to come away from it with positivity and not negativity.

Apologies for the long winded post.

Thanks x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

is the manager to be there, may jot down your thoughts and be very clear to highlight your positives and your own identified development areas.

if the manager is there, they should facilitate the meeting ensuring equal time is spent on the postives that the team is achieving, prioritise the 'needs to do' and then brainstorm as a team what you could do collectively together to improve.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

maybe*

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

be very contructive with personal feedback to others, many can't take feedback despite saying they can.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

ps: my last comment, it is your manager's responsibility to feedback to the 2 ladies mentioned.

good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"be very contructive with personal feedback to others, many can't take feedback despite saying they can.

"

How do you put over "you talk to much about your cats" and "stop banging around the office because you're in a bad mood" constructively? I don't want to offend or upset anyone xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"ps: my last comment, it is your manager's responsibility to feedback to the 2 ladies mentioned.

good luck"

We are all going to be in the meeting with our 2 managers x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

do you have annualised Performance Re_iews & monthly 121's.

I personally would not ask team members to get into the discussion about cats and banging about, I think that is a conversation to be had on a 121 basis with their individual manager as if they have recognised it and know it is causing conflict, they should address it.

You can raise it at your 121 and ask them to deal with it. Do you ask for feedback on your 'areas of opportunity',

If they are to facilitate a 'free for all' in feedback, that is a risky strategy unless you have experience in cultural change/team dynamics.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

If you are behind on time-scales or have service levels to meet, then this would be a better way to raise topics without naming anybody, you could then raise this and say 'how can we overcome it'. It should get everybody discussing why you are potentially behind.

Use questions that raise the subject of the dept working together for specific work outcomes - if people are stretched to meet outcomes this could also get people talking.

As far as tension, maybe just mention that sometimes 'with the noise of the office' it is very difficult to get things done with all the distractions. Then you could mention, chatter, general requests, banging doors

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By *iuliettaWoman
over a year ago

DEVIZES

You would probably want to be seen as the reasonable one, so use phrases like "I appreciate what you are saying, however if we all worked together and xxx we could achieve yyy"

"I understand, but"

Thanks for reminding me of zzz, I think things work better when we do yyy

I think if we all agreed to do xxx things would improve...do you agree??

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By *ack Genuine BullMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

GOB SHUT!

Ears and eyes open wide.........

Listen very carefully.

Jot down notes.

Remain neutral and impassive.

Say nothing.

Let others fire the bullets

That way you get to keep your job.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Criticism needs to be constructive. Never get defensive, don't attack or raise your voice. Always start with the positives and be tactful when an issue is raised.

Maybe turn it on it's head and ask the person themselves if there are any areas of their work that they feel that they could improve. If so how could they and ask how you could support them in their

roles.

Maybe lead by example. No one us perfect, we make mistakes it's our nature. It's what we do to rectify the mistakes that count. Acknowldege that. Then agree on an approach to move forward.

For what it's worth. I work in a managerial role. And being a good manager is about recognising peoples strengths and supporting them in their roles without heavy handed criticism. My team work well, we have a good relationship. Not often issues arise, but when they do we work through it.

Good luck. I'm sure all will be well

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"

But how do I tell somebody that they spend too much time chatting and not enough time working and then they moan that they have too much to do. Is this a "do you think you could prioritise your time a bit better". Also, the same person does have a lot going on at home with looking after elderly parents which I do understand must be difficult but we have heard about it day in, day out for 18 months. I know we are all guilty of bringing our domestic problems into work sometimes but surely there has to be a cut off point?

Also, another lady has a very, very shitty attitude and if she is in a bad mood, we all suffer! Banging around, doors being swung off the hinges almost, snappy etc. How the hell do I bring this up in a diplomatic manner?

"

If you think someone isnt spending enough time working then thats something for the manager to deal with, unless youre the line manager - I wouldnt see it as my job to tackle them about prioritising their time better.

The chatting/moaning/banging doors Id bring up in general terms focussing about how it affects ME.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with View that your managers should be tackling the personal issues through 1-2-1's.

The lady who slams doors etc - does she have other issues going on outside of work that is making her moody. I appreciate some colleagues are just that way , sometimes though outside pressures can make people behave a certain way. Things we know nothing about . Stress makes people behave that way.

Maybe you could suggest quiet time - when you're uninterruptible if that would work ? It's difficult in a team of different personalities - makes life interesting though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bullet point what you want to get across, the cold, hard facts.

Tell them first in supervision that their productivity needs to improve, and point out the support thats already been offered - back up with facts.

Tell them what they have been doing well first, then help them set some goals for improvement that are very direct, realistic, with a real timescale.

Once you've done all that, remind them that the uber boss expects more too...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just say it as it is, have a row, kiss and make up and then move on. But I've never been particularly diplomatic or tolerant of office politics, probably why I'm now working for myself!! (And I still manage to have arguments )

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By *or Fox SakeCouple
over a year ago

Thornaby

If someone is disruptive at work you shouldn't have to put up with it.

The manager should make it clear that if they have problems outside of work they are to be left at the door. If they disrupt the working environment then they have every right to remove that person from the working environment. Perhaps permanently.

Make it clear how this affects you achieving your tasks.

Keep it non personal. Talk about issues not people.

Non of this works in the public sector though as every employee seems to think they can do what the hell they like.

I've seen people given 5 minutes to clear their desk in the private sector and the manager that rid of the place of the disruptive influence was given a standing ovation.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

how did it go....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"how did it go...."

I really appreciate you asking, thank you.

I think it went really well, we cleared the air and can move on. We've all acknowledged that at times each of us need some "quiet time" to be able to concentrate when we are doing reports. There was lots of other stuff too. I'm glad we had the meeting xxx

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"how did it go....

I really appreciate you asking, thank you.

I think it went really well, we cleared the air and can move on. We've all acknowledged that at times each of us need some "quiet time" to be able to concentrate when we are doing reports. There was lots of other stuff too. I'm glad we had the meeting xxx"

that is good to hear

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