FabSwingers.com forum: Is sexting cheating. ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A lot of Men and women believe that sexting is as harmful to a relationship as cheating, according to a new study looking at how people define infidelity. They was on about this on This Morning TV. I was thinking if I was just married found out other half doing this I would have been so upset and seen it as some sort of cheating in a way .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lot of Men and women believe that sexting is as harmful to a relationship as cheating, according to a new study looking at how people define infidelity. They was on about this on This Morning TV. I was thinking if I was just married found out other half doing this I would have been so upset and seen it as some sort of cheating in a way .

Yeah it's cheating. Trust issues I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's happening without the knowledge of the other party, yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"
Definitely cheating. Being in a relationship involves two people.It's a partnership. If one is doing something without the other one knowing - they're being duplicitous. Sarah x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something I saw on twitter a little while ago which I agree with completely is:

"Cheating isn't always kissing, touching or flirting. If you've got to delete text messages so your partner won't see them, you're already there."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah. Me and my girl have a sub we send shit to all the time, difference being we know about it.

If its in secret so long as we don't actually go and do anything, its all good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes its cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something I saw on twitter a little while ago which I agree with completely is:

"Cheating isn't always kissing, touching or flirting. If you've got to delete text messages so your partner won't see them, you're already there.""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I see no harm so long as they don't meet, it's just text messaging, it wouldn't bother me if I had a partner and I found out he was texting someone else, it's just fantasy isn't it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I see no harm so long as they don't meet, it's just text messaging, it wouldn't bother me if I had a partner and I found out he was texting someone else, it's just fantasy isn't it "

Pretty much that - people look at porn, sort of the same thing. Like one of those webcam room thingies.

If your partner or whatnot knows about it, yeah - probably fine.

If not... Not cool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I see no harm so long as they don't meet, it's just text messaging, it wouldn't bother me if I had a partner and I found out he was texting someone else, it's just fantasy isn't it

Pretty much that - people look at porn, sort of the same thing. Like one of those webcam room thingies.

If your partner or whatnot knows about it, yeah - probably fine.

If not... Not cool. "
Porn? How does porn equate to sexting without a partner's knowledge lol

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By *ugartitsandhimCouple
over a year ago

North West

"Something I saw on twitter a little while ago which I agree with completely is:

"Cheating isn't always kissing, touching or flirting. If you've got to delete text messages so your partner won't see them, you're already there.""

THIS /\

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I see no harm so long as they don't meet, it's just text messaging, it wouldn't bother me if I had a partner and I found out he was texting someone else, it's just fantasy isn't it

Pretty much that - people look at porn, sort of the same thing. Like one of those webcam room thingies.

If your partner or whatnot knows about it, yeah - probably fine.

If not... Not cool. "

You don't think it's ok to watch porn without your partners knowledge?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think as long as it's not secret it's not cheating x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I see no harm so long as they don't meet, it's just text messaging, it wouldn't bother me if I had a partner and I found out he was texting someone else, it's just fantasy isn't it

Pretty much that - people look at porn, sort of the same thing. Like one of those webcam room thingies.

If your partner or whatnot knows about it, yeah - probably fine.

If not... Not cool.

You don't think it's ok to watch porn without your partners knowledge? "

It's fine, but it's better if they KNOW you watch porn I found.

I spoke to my girl about it and she said "Well, yeah because to a degree a girl could think you prefer porn over them / me". - But shes fine with it, and totally gets it.

It's a discussion worth having to see how your other half feels I think. Some girls are bothered by it, but a lot aren't. ; )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see sexting as cheating at all

i think the only reason someone would get upset over this is because they confronted with the fact their partner now has to look else where for sexual thrills

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Porn is fictional, sexting can lead to fact.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't see sexting as cheating at all

i think the only reason someone would get upset over this is because they confronted with the fact their partner now has to look else where for sexual thrills "
or the fact they weren't open about being dissatisfied before moving on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a fine line between harmless fun and cheating. My gut says it's cheating. Yet I can understand people doing it if they are in a sexless relationship and don't want to upset their partner.

Many years ago I used phone sex lines for this very reason. I have often wondered if that consituted as cheating!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't see sexting as cheating at all

i think the only reason someone would get upset over this is because they confronted with the fact their partner now has to look else where for sexual thrills or the fact they weren't open about being dissatisfied before moving on?"

True but how many relationship truly have no secrets?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yup, you're breaking a trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't see sexting as cheating at all

True but how many relationship truly have no secrets?"
I'm sure some do.This is about what's classed as a betrayal. You can only class something as a betrayal or cheating once you know about it. Sexting is fine. As long as it isn't kept a secret

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am sure some see porn as cheating too ... If they are only into each other . Maybe a old fashioned _iew to some , But people values are so different .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something I saw on twitter a little while ago which I agree with completely is:

"Cheating isn't always kissing, touching or flirting. If you've got to delete text messages so your partner won't see them, you're already there.""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am very funny about texting male half of couples because I worry that I could upset the lady...

Cali x

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Something I saw on twitter a little while ago which I agree with completely is:

"Cheating isn't always kissing, touching or flirting. If you've got to delete text messages so your partner won't see them, you're already there.""

This for me. I would have no issues with my partner going through my phone as there is nothing on there I wouldnt want him to see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sexting is cheating in my _iew if it's behind your partners back.

My wife considered watching porn or having a crafty wank as going behind her back too. If I want to play she wants to be involved even if she's just watching me.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

if they are being turned on by someone else id be hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if they are being turned on by someone else id be hurt"
The thing is, people are turned on in lots of different ways by different people. Different people bring different things. I've absolutely no issue with that. Love, trust and respect is something different. If you're in a relationship, do everything together, have boundaries and promise to abide by them, and promise to be open and honest if you've changed your mind about anything, then go against that by being secretive about something - it's a betrayal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if they are being turned on by someone else id be hurtThe thing is, people are turned on in lots of different ways by different people. Different people bring different things. I've absolutely no issue with that. Love, trust and respect is something different. If you're in a relationship, do everything together, have boundaries and promise to abide by them, and promise to be open and honest if you've changed your mind about anything, then go against that by being secretive about something - it's a betrayal"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup....that's breaking the circle of trust!

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Yes, it is in my mind as it has a clear sexual element.

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By *layer oneMan
over a year ago

mirfield

So most of you are saying its as good as sleeping with them

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"So most of you are saying its as good as sleeping with them"

No,but it's a betrayal of trust. It's fine if it's known they are doing it and it's open for each other to see but if it's a secretive thing then that's wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on the interpretation of one's partner.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Sexting is interacting sexually with another out of your relationship.

Porn is not.

In my opinion if it's something you haven't agreed is ok then it's not.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

"So most of you are saying its as good as sleeping with them

No,but it's a betrayal of trust. It's fine if it's known they are doing it and it's open for each other to see but if it's a secretive thing then that's wrong. "

That sums it up for me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some would say its like window shopping but. We all know that soon as you send that sneaky upskirt or cock shot bang goes window shopping now its intamite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sexting is interacting sexually with another out of your relationship.

Porn is not.

In my opinion if it's something you haven't agreed is ok then it's not."

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By *adgodCouple
over a year ago

Greensburg

Agree with most on here. It is a type of cheating if your partner is unaware. Would not be ok in our relationship for either half under any circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So most of you are saying its as good as sleeping with them

No,but it's a betrayal of trust. It's fine if it's known they are doing it and it's open for each other to see but if it's a secretive thing then that's wrong. "

its all points on a spectrum for me. As partners in a relationship, you agree where things fit on that scale and also where you and your partner draw the line regarding actions and openness about those actions. Some operate a don't ask don't tell, some do first, talk later, some ask permission. There are as many spectrums as there are couples. Where tne problem lies is when the 2 people in a relationship are workingto different spectrums...

My take on it is, as someone posted earlier, if it's something you have to hide from your partner, clearly, you're working on different spectrums...I'd see it as a shared intimacy that is a step too far...bizarrely, as some might see it, I'd rather the Monkey fucked someone than took them out, wined and dined them, that's too far along the intimacy line for me.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"So most of you are saying its as good as sleeping with them

No,but it's a betrayal of trust. It's fine if it's known they are doing it and it's open for each other to see but if it's a secretive thing then that's wrong. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I see no harm so long as they don't meet, it's just text messaging, it wouldn't bother me if I had a partner and I found out he was texting someone else, it's just fantasy isn't it "

Sorry I've got to disagree....for starters, fantasy is the antecedent to behaviour....it's why most of us are on Fab....to act out our fantasies!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally I see no harm so long as they don't meet, it's just text messaging, it wouldn't bother me if I had a partner and I found out he was texting someone else, it's just fantasy isn't it

Sorry I've got to disagree....for starters, fantasy is the antecedent to behaviour....it's why most of us are on Fab....to act out our fantasies! "

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By *lintessential1Man
over a year ago

Ross-on-Wye

"I don't see sexting as cheating at all

i think the only reason someone would get upset over this is because they confronted with the fact their partner now has to look else where for sexual thrills "

and that isn't a reason to get upset??! I'm single but if I had a girlfriend who was 'sexting' some other bloke I'd go through the roof!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something I saw on twitter a little while ago which I agree with completely is:

"Cheating isn't always kissing, touching or flirting. If you've got to delete text messages so your partner won't see them, you're already there.""

100% agree with this!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't see sexting as cheating at all

i think the only reason someone would get upset over this is because they confronted with the fact their partner now has to look else where for sexual thrills

and that isn't a reason to get upset??! I'm single but if I had a girlfriend who was 'sexting' some other bloke I'd go through the roof!"

then it just goes to show how we are all different because it wold not bother me at all

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By *kooter75Man
over a year ago

Dalkeith

"Sexting is interacting sexually with another out of your relationship.

Porn is not.

In my opinion if it's something you haven't agreed is ok then it's not.

My ex wife hated porn never mind sexting. She felt it was like cheating. As one other post says, it left her thinking I'd rather be with those I was watching rather than her. Which definitely wasn't the case. And now I'm divorced. Lol. My mistake was thinking porn meant nothing. Not to her!!! If I'd been sexting, she'd have cut my balls off first, then divorced me.

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By *lintessential1Man
over a year ago

Ross-on-Wye

"I don't see sexting as cheating at all

i think the only reason someone would get upset over this is because they confronted with the fact their partner now has to look else where for sexual thrills

and that isn't a reason to get upset??! I'm single but if I had a girlfriend who was 'sexting' some other bloke I'd go through the roof!

then it just goes to show how we are all different because it wold not bother me at all"

I find that hard to believe but okay..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't see sexting as cheating at all

i think the only reason someone would get upset over this is because they confronted with the fact their partner now has to look else where for sexual thrills

and that isn't a reason to get upset??! I'm single but if I had a girlfriend who was 'sexting' some other bloke I'd go through the roof!"

some people are just plain greedy and cannot be faithful regardless of whether they are getting all the sex they could possibly have at home too

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By *lintessential1Man
over a year ago

Ross-on-Wye

I don't know how it wouldn't bother someone who thought they were in a monogamous relationship...nowt as queer as folk I guess..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i get the whole wanting a 1-1 relationship but can never understand when men arent allowed to watch porn or indulge in fantasy. Dear me you cant restrain every aspect of a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't see sexting as cheating at all

i think the only reason someone would get upset over this is because they confronted with the fact their partner now has to look else where for sexual thrills

and that isn't a reason to get upset??! I'm single but if I had a girlfriend who was 'sexting' some other bloke I'd go through the roof!

then it just goes to show how we are all different because it wold not bother me at all

I find that hard to believe but okay.."

Why? Do you think everyone is of the same mind set? I can assure you 100% if my partner was texting other women it would not bother me at all, I've never been the jealous type, to be honest I think that's why I have spent so long single because my lack of being bothers leaves men thinking I don't care, which I do I just can't be bothered falling out over things so I let they pass, to me texting another women wouldn't be worth falling out over, it's just a text

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

suppose it depends if theyre actually acting on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An in daily mail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"suppose it depends if theyre actually acting on it

now that's a different story, if I found out the guy I was with was meeting who they was sexting I wouldn't be so laid back about it

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Any behaviour you feel you have to hide from your partner can be an issue, be it eating unhealthy foods, a shopping habit or sexting.

If you can't share with the person who is supposedly closest too you then there's a problem.

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By *hylladMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

It's cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"suppose it depends if theyre actually acting on it

now that's a different story, if I found out the guy I was with was meeting who they was sexting I wouldn't be so laid back about it

I'm not trying to be picky believe me, just genuinely find your approach interesting. Can I ask if you have ever been cheated on? Obviously, I appreciate that you may not want to answer me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"suppose it depends if theyre actually acting on it

now that's a different story, if I found out the guy I was with was meeting who they was sexting I wouldn't be so laid back about it

I'm not trying to be picky believe me, just genuinely find your approach interesting. Can I ask if you have ever been cheated on? Obviously, I appreciate that you may not want to answer me x"

Yes my husband left me for a woman we used to meet off here

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By *lintessential1Man
over a year ago

Ross-on-Wye

sounds to me like you're become hardened to life in general and no longer give much of a shit about relationships.

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By *lintessential1Man
over a year ago

Ross-on-Wye

which to be fair I can understand to an extent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If everyone is cool with it then no.

If its doing it in secret then yes for several reasons

1 Getting sexual kicks with someone other than your partner.

2 The secret, your doing something wrong that you know will upset your partner but you still do it anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"suppose it depends if theyre actually acting on it

now that's a different story, if I found out the guy I was with was meeting who they was sexting I wouldn't be so laid back about it

I'm not trying to be picky believe me, just genuinely find your approach interesting. Can I ask if you have ever been cheated on? Obviously, I appreciate that you may not want to answer me x

Yes my husband left me for a woman we used to meet off here"

I'm sorry to hear that and am even more interested in your approach. I wish I could feel like you do. I still have major trust issues 10 years on from my ex and not sure I could ever overcome them and securing would be a huge issue for me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sexting with a married women my gf knows an her hubbie is ok as long as no meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it is being hidden from the partner then yes I consider it cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it is being hidden from the partner

then yes I consider it cheating."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm afraid this is making for rather uncomfortable reading.

I never chat by phone or text with anyone, but I do have rather flirtatious friendships with some ladies on this site.

I hope that they see our chats as friendly fun, and not me cheating, but obviously, I'm probably trying to put it in a sugar coated box, that way I can deal with it better.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I'm afraid this is making for rather uncomfortable reading.

I never chat by phone or text with anyone, but I do have rather flirtatious friendships with some ladies on this site.

I hope that they see our chats as friendly fun, and not me cheating, but obviously, I'm probably trying to put it in a sugar coated box, that way I can deal with it better.

Its what your partner thinks, not the person you are chatting with that counts.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I've been cheated on - my ex husband left me and our one year old for another woman who he started seeing when I was pregnant...

do I see sexting as cheating?

Nope, not at all, unless they meet without the other partners knowledge. I would far rather he'd have sexted someone and fulfilled his needs that way (the irony being he didn't want sex with me because I was then a mum and not his...

... although now I see it as the best thing that ever happened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm afraid this is making for rather uncomfortable reading.

I never chat by phone or text with anyone, but I do have rather flirtatious friendships with some ladies on this site.

I hope that they see our chats as friendly fun, and not me cheating, but obviously, I'm probably trying to put it in a sugar coated box, that way I can deal with it better.

Its what your partner thinks, not the person you are chatting with that counts. "

Regrettably that is very true, and the regret is that I find myself putting myself in this position. I suppose that everyone has their reasons for what they do, and not all of us seem to follow the right path.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's cheating.

You're basically saying you want to fuck each other. It can get to the point where fantasy becomes reality. Then someone's bound to get hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it's cheating. I left my husband as he was emailing/texting another lady during my pregnancy. He even admitted to wanking in the bathroom whilst looking at her pics

He set up a separate email acount, had her under a mans name in his phone.

She knew everything about our life, our home, our baby... I honestly would have preferred he went out and had a one night stand, as at least then they wouldn't know everything about me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheater cheater cheater.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

not sure but it is fucking boring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not sure but it is fucking boring

absolutely...mind numbing...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something I saw on twitter a little while ago which I agree with completely is:

"Cheating isn't always kissing, touching or flirting. If you've got to delete text messages so your partner won't see them, you're already there."

Agree... do it on here where both partners can see x

100% agree with this!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not sure but it is fucking boring

i agree, I don't get the fascination

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

Yeah it's cheating. Trust issues I guess"

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

The answer to any question framed as 'Is ****** cheating? ' is 'Probably'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only message people on here and both have full access to the account at all times and tell each other everything. Boundaries set and respected by us both. Would absolutely class it as deceitful if it was behind the other partners back though but we both like a bit of filthy banter now and again. Honesty and trust are the most important things to us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A relationship only works if you are both open and honest,I agree sexting is a form of cheating xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything behind your partners back is cheating, physically or mentally.

Her

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Yes it is cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes it is cheating. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, next....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something I saw on twitter a little while ago which I agree with completely is:

"Cheating isn't always kissing, touching or flirting. If you've got to delete text messages so your partner won't see them, you're already there."

100% agree with this!!"

And me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something I saw on twitter a little while ago which I agree with completely is:

"Cheating isn't always kissing, touching or flirting. If you've got to delete text messages so your partner won't see them, you're already there."

100% agree with this!!

And me"

S x

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