FabSwingers.com forum: Step Parents

By *D40 OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Just wondering how important it is for step parents & stepchildren to like each other?

Is it ok if they don't like each other so long as we live in harmony?

Mrs Dolph x

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I would find it a strain if I knew my son did not like his dads partner.

I am lucky that my son does like her very much (but she will never be his step-mum, nor will he ever have a step-dad - we both agreed this) in fact I think he prefers her to his dad at times!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hated my stepmum when I was living with her. Her children were of course gods gift or so she thought. I was obviously the evil bitch who was taking her husband away from her. We get on ok now though. I moved out like 2 years ago so it's all good. My dad is happy so I'm happy too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My step mum was an evil cow who was nice when my dad was around then turned into a bitch when he was not.

She hated me from day one and made my life a miserable time

To the point of me having to leave home when I was 15. I was working by then so able to pay my own way in life.

If I saw her again in a thousand years it would be a thousand years to soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's important as it makes the children feel secure.

Paul and my son bicker but that's all they both adore each other really

My son adores his dads new wife, and to be fair she's lovely (way too good for his dad) I love the relationship they have together - she is a neutral he can talk to when he doesn't want to talk to his parents (he classes Paul as his parent too as we all live together and have done so for over half his life)

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

It's hard I know my daughter detests her dad's new wife with a passion but I'm not surprised from the trouble she causes. Seems to me she's jealous of her not that I know why as her dad never takes any time with her and she dislikes him almost as much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have THE best stepdad ever! He has been with my mom since I was 9, they had my brother together but he has never differentiated between us or my older sister. He loves us all equally and is the best grandad to my son and my sisters two. My stepmom on the other hand.........

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship "
so you would let a 4 year old decide?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My step mum was an evil cow who was nice when my dad was around then turned into a bitch when he was not.

She hated me from day one and made my life a miserable time

To the point of me having to leave home when I was 15. I was working by then so able to pay my own way in life.

If I saw her again in a thousand years it would be a thousand years to soon. "

Is your real name Cinderella?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on "
Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have."

your opinion,

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, "
It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I'd also listen to my sons intuition on a relationship. I could not develop something with someone who my son did not like.

It would be unfair to expect my son to share our loves with someone who may not be around forever that he did not like.

My son is my first priority in life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kids dont like their Dad's girlfriend, because she makes snide comments about me to them. They're extremely protective of me after my marriage to their Dad (it wasn't a nice one) but he is a good Father. I have no idea what her problem is with me...infact i'm very grateful to her. Since he met her, he's left me alone. I almost sent her a Thank You card and some flowers...but was worried it'd put her off him.

I on the other hand have been single for 4 years...I cant imagine anyone being good enough to bring into their life's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/09/14 21:20:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy."

Agree with you a 1000% Cute n Sassy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have a partner so all is good but my daughter comes first if I did ever get with someone she didn't get on with the relationship would end, its that simple, I would never put my happiness before hers

She gets on well with her dads partner I have no concerns there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy."

realistically i dont have the time to have a relationship and cant imagine it anytime soon, id like to think id select a guy who would bond with her and get on with her (when i feel the time is right to introduce them) but yes if my daughter didnt gel with him the relationship would end and it go no further.

i dont see the point in having a relationship that doesnt involve her.. my life is with my daughter and a guy has to fit into that.. couldnt lead 2 seperate lives for years down the line for it to clash.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

at least im not the only parent who feels how i do.. :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd also listen to my sons intuition on a relationship. I could not develop something with someone who my son did not like.

It would be unfair to expect my son to share our loves with someone who may not be around forever that he did not like.

My son is my first priority in life."

Exactly this! Your child is far more important than any man or woman!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on "

I agree I would never put my daughter in the position where she was not happy at home, I don't see it as the child deciding more me deciding to put her happiness first, you children should always come first in my opinion and to make a child live with someone that makes them unhappy is wrong its their home too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get on well with my step mum maybe because we are the same age

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well you said in 5 years you won't have to worry?"

yeah cheers for the reminder..

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Well you said in 5 years you won't have to worry?

yeah cheers for the reminder.. "
Well you said it, I didn't, things in a public forum and all that.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I had a bit of unpleasantness a few weeks ago when I phoned my aged parents up. The stepfather answered and shouted my mum, saying 'it's your Eadwy,' before correcting himself and saying, 'it's our Eadwy.'

I've often felt that he was a lot happier to see me leave than to see me arrive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well you said in 5 years you won't have to worry?

yeah cheers for the reminder.. Well you said it, I didn't, things in a public forum and all that."

i just dont get your beef with me, and why you feel the need to bring me down

i know my situation more than anyone and yes ive been vulnerable in the past

Ive had a wicked day and sometimes its nice to think about the future and to try and forget the negative then BAMM its thrown in my face.. so cheers

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I had a bit of unpleasantness a few weeks ago when I phoned my aged parents up. The stepfather answered and shouted my mum, saying 'it's your Eadwy,' before correcting himself and saying, 'it's our Eadwy.'

I've often felt that he was a lot happier to see me leave than to see me arrive.

"
I was quite lucky with my step dad, unfortunately he passed away a few years ago, I still miss him.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Well you said in 5 years you won't have to worry?

yeah cheers for the reminder.. Well you said it, I didn't, things in a public forum and all that.

i just dont get your beef with me, and why you feel the need to bring me down

i know my situation more than anyone and yes ive been vulnerable in the past

Ive had a wicked day and sometimes its nice to think about the future and to try and forget the negative then BAMM its thrown in my face.. so cheers

"
Oh don't start the oh woah is me crap, how am I going to know about your day, did you or did you not put in the forum you would be dead in 5 years? Your words Cute not mine.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I like the youth, but it's very evident that I'm not of his blood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hated my step dad he was creepy, he just made my skin crawl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Luke is a great step dad to my kids and they adore him! It's so nice that they all get on and enjoy each other's company!

He thinks of them as his own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hated my step dad he was creepy, he just made my skin crawl"

The best thing my step dad did was die. Sadly it wasnt years ago!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My step dad is brilliant he met my mum when I was 15. He'd never had children and took on a couple of teenager. He's always been there for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well you said in 5 years you won't have to worry?

yeah cheers for the reminder.. Well you said it, I didn't, things in a public forum and all that.

i just dont get your beef with me, and why you feel the need to bring me down

i know my situation more than anyone and yes ive been vulnerable in the past

Ive had a wicked day and sometimes its nice to think about the future and to try and forget the negative then BAMM its thrown in my face.. so cheers

Oh don't start the oh woah is me crap, how am I going to know about your day, did you or did you not put in the forum you would be dead in 5 years? Your words Cute not mine.

OMG, is this true? Cute, whats wrong with you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

my daughter was 11 when I got with her step dad but she has NEVER called him dad ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

London

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy."

I agree with Fems opinion on this. A 4year old is a baby. Who lets a baby dictate? Like anything else in life and as much as we love our children, they cannot have this power.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good subject. If the person has a child they totally want the best for, it's really tough to bring that child into a relationship they don't want, regardless of who's fault or guilt is causing issues.

But adults are selfish at times, it's often a natural trait.

Tough judgement and all relative.

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

London

There is also a huge difference between having a dating relationship with someone and a live in relationship with someone that a child may initially dislike due to jealousy issues.

Jealousy should always be dealt with and not left to fester. A child who ends up well rounded and resilient has these skills.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy.

I agree with Fems opinion on this. A 4year old is a baby. Who lets a baby dictate? Like anything else in life and as much as we love our children, they cannot have this power.

Its not letting a 4 year old decide though is it, you wouldn't ask a 4 year olds permission on who you can and cant see, however if you got with someone who clearly made your child unhappy you decide what to do not them and its upto you if you carry on the relationship or not, personally if I could see my relationship was having a negative impact on my child it would end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy.

I agree with Fems opinion on this. A 4year old is a baby. Who lets a baby dictate? Like anything else in life and as much as we love our children, they cannot have this power.

4yr olds or children of any age can and will manipulate to get their own way if mummy isn't giving them enough attention. My best friend split with her last partner because her spoilt child (a 5yr old) made things hell and now she has seen what has happened wants him back but he won't entertain her. Young children are selfish and will scream to get what they want and you can't make a decision based on that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i moved in with nick when his kids was 12 and 15 the girl was a little against it at first but after about 2 week she was fine nick had been a single parent from them being 2 and 5 put them before a relationship his daughter once told me that she hated it at first but also didn't want her dad being lonely and could see he was happy we have our differences argue quite often but its me she comes to when she needs a talk or is feeling unwell. i think if any of them hated me and was miserable with me living there i would have walked away for there sakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy.

I agree with Fems opinion on this. A 4year old is a baby. Who lets a baby dictate? Like anything else in life and as much as we love our children, they cannot have this power.

My daughter is 13 so old enough to know who she does and does not like, to be honest she is quite mature for her age and not really a stroppy teenager, she gets on well with her dads partner and I know if I got with someone and she was unhappy around him there would be a good reason and the relationship would end, there is no way I would have my daughter unhappy in her own home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy.

I agree with Fems opinion on this. A 4year old is a baby. Who lets a baby dictate? Like anything else in life and as much as we love our children, they cannot have this power.

13 is a long way of 4 surely you know that so why compare the two?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still have the same opinion.. if my child isnt happy then things change to make her happy.

If i go without a man so be it.

Weve been great just us two so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondering how important it is for step parents & stepchildren to like each other?

Is it ok if they don't like each other so long as we live in harmony?

Mrs Dolph x"

Many children don't like their biological parents to the point they bog off and live with grandparents. Other parents put kids in care because the fall out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy.

I agree with Fems opinion on this. A 4year old is a baby. Who lets a baby dictate? Like anything else in life and as much as we love our children, they cannot have this power.

13 is a long way of 4 surely you know that so why compare the two?"

I'm not comparing the two, I was replying to someone else's comment about the four year old, it was you who said a child of any age will manipulated to get there own way so I was just saying my opinion on my situation too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy.

I agree with Fems opinion on this. A 4year old is a baby. Who lets a baby dictate? Like anything else in life and as much as we love our children, they cannot have this power.

13 is a long way of 4 surely you know that so why compare the two?

Do you always reply to someone else while quoting a totally different person? And you must agree a 4yr old is a totally different mindset to a 13yr old.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Offers to get everyone a cup of tea, says about agreeing to differ and produces some Jaffa cakes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondering how important it is for step parents & stepchildren to like each other?

Is it ok if they don't like each other so long as we live in harmony?

Mrs Dolph x"

Getting back to the original question ....

Two and a half years ago Sabrinas son came to move in with us , just before we married .

I have treated him as if he was one of my own , and he treats me as any of my kids treated me . He is now 7 and every day is a joy to behold , seeing him learning more and more and enjoying himself at school and here at home .

I truly hope this continues until he reaches an age where he can move on with his own life independently , and hope I may have helped him achieve as much as he is capable of along the way .

And most of all I hope we continue to respect and enjoy each others company throughout his childhood and into his adult life .

It matters not one bit to me that I am not his blood father , to me he is just as welcome to my love , care , guidance , help and devotion in my role as his step dad as my other children are to my role as their Dad .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondering how important it is for step parents & stepchildren to like each other?

Is it ok if they don't like each other so long as we live in harmony?

Mrs Dolph x

Getting back to the original question ....

Two and a half years ago Sabrinas son came to move in with us , just before we married .

I truly hope this continues until he reaches an age where he can move on with his own life independently , and hope I may have helped him achieve as much as he is capable of along the way .

And most of all I hope we continue to respect and enjoy each others company throughout his childhood and into his adult life .

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By *effrey45Man
over a year ago

Lytham

From my experience step daughters can be the most incredibly selfish people who only like you when you are spending money on them. I was happy to walk away with my biological child from the relationship and haven't spoken to her since

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy.

I agree with Fems opinion on this. A 4year old is a baby. Who lets a baby dictate? Like anything else in life and as much as we love our children, they cannot have this power.

Maybe someone who is no more than a baby herself?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy.

I agree with Fems opinion on this. A 4year old is a baby. Who lets a baby dictate? Like anything else in life and as much as we love our children, they cannot have this power.

Maybe someone who is no more than a baby herself?"

I agree with Cute. Guess that makes me a baby too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I still have the same opinion.. if my child isnt happy then things change to make her happy.

If i go without a man so be it.

Weve been great just us two so far

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By *D40 OP Couple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"I still have the same opinion.. if my child isnt happy then things change to make her happy.

If i go without a man so be it.

Weve been great just us two so far

Interesting and helpful replies. Thanks everyone

Mrs Dolph xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not a baby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am at a loss as to why a parent can be berated for prioritising the needs and happiness of their child before their own. Its a pity not all parents are the same.

One of my neighbours who has a child of 8 has moved a different "dad" into her house every year since he was 2! That is so wrong, in my opinion.

As can be seen by some of the posters on this thread, not all children are lucky enough to have good relationships with their stepparents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moved out and into my grandparents house during high school to get away from my step dad, and although can tolerate him now will never like him, and part of me resents my Mum for putting him first even though he clearly disliked me and having me around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always got on with my step daughter, wether that is partly due to her being older when I met her mum I am not sure. I am just glad we do get on so well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I still have the same opinion.. if my child isnt happy then things change to make her happy.

If i go without a man so be it.

Weve been great just us two so far

This

I was extremely lucky , when my father died and my Mum remarried , my step father treated my sister and I like his own children. Never differentiated. I wouldn't accept anything less for my own children. That might sound hard but I've always held that view .

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By *rymeplsMan
over a year ago

manchester

I found out some years ago that parents were actually my grandparents who had adopted me. as my sister turned out to be my real mum . i couldnt fault my step parents .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a step mum and I know you will think bad of me but there are tines when I really wish my stepson didn't have contact with us.

He is very good st manipulating his mother (he learnt from her) and generally causing issues in both family homes and between both sets if adults. There are many times when I have thought about walking away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I still have the same opinion.. if my child isnt happy then things change to make her happy.

If i go without a man so be it.

Weve been great just us two so far

Did you conciously make this decision at some stage ? That's to say that your child would dictate your future happiness ? That's a heck of a responsibility to put on a child's shoulders is it not ?

I can't help thinking that by allowing this now , the ramifications in future years may be somewhat hard to overcome .

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I think what Sassy may be getting at is if her daughter had a strong dislike of some chap she had just met she would take her opinion into account, not that she lets her daughter vet people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Offers to get everyone a cup of tea, says about agreeing to differ and produces some Jaffa cakes.

I got some jammy dodgers and dark choc digestives

2 sugars please Tina

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My partner was killed when our son was only five. I've never had another live in partner since and my son is now sixteen. Doesn't make me a baby and it certainly doesn't mean I've missed out on life, just never met anyone I've cared enough about to want to change the status quo between myself and my son.

As a young child he felt acutely not having a father like most of his friends, so much so he'd try to get me to marry any man who was nice to us (like waiters on holiday) I've not let him prevent me from meeting another man just as I've not allowed myself to be married off to save him the embarrassment of being 'dad-less' .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think what Sassy may be getting at is if her daughter had a strong dislike of some chap she had just met she would take her opinion into account, not that she lets her daughter vet people. "

This Iis understandable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My partner was killed when our son was only five. I've never had another live in partner since and my son is now sixteen. Doesn't make me a baby and it certainly doesn't mean I've missed out on life, just never met anyone I've cared enough about to want to change the status quo between myself and my son.

Bless you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot depends on how you split i reckon, my mate hate an horrible step mum because his dad slagged off his ex all the time, where as his new step dad was fine with his sister because the mum always said good things about the dad (if that makes any sense)

On a pervy note i fancied my mates step mum something rotten and wished id had one lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is also a huge difference between having a dating relationship with someone and a live in relationship with someone that a child may initially dislike due to jealousy issues.

Jealousy should always be dealt with and not left to fester. A child who ends up well rounded and resilient has these skills.

wise words n very true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a step-parent is miles harder than people may think. First you have to learn to love & care for the child as though they were your own, made more difficult if the child isn't mature enough to understand mum needs happiness too. Becomes even harder if siblings are born, more jealousy into the pot!

My wife & I have been together 7+ years & things are rarely easy between myself & the step-daughter.

Im here 24/7 for ALL of them, work damn hard to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table & clothes on their backs. Only to be thanked with complete disregard for any rules I have or anything I might ask of her.

Sad, especially when "real dad" rings once a week for 5 mins & gets everything that she's been upto, laughs & jokes.

Step-parenting isn't a light hearted choice, maybe something the step-kids should think about?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn't agree more. My child is also without a father in his life

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By *lay4RealCouple
over a year ago

London

"Being a step-parent is miles harder than people may think. First you have to learn to love & care for the child as though they were your own, made more difficult if the child isn't mature enough to understand mum needs happiness too. Becomes even harder if siblings are born, more jealousy into the pot!

My wife & I have been together 7+ years & things are rarely easy between myself & the step-daughter.

Sad, especially when "real dad" rings once a week for 5 mins & gets everything that she's been upto, laughs & jokes.

Step-parenting isn't a light hearted choice, maybe something the step-kids should think about?

a good perspective to the whole discussion

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By *organ and rob zombieCouple
over a year ago

bradford

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship "

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you mean not like but tolerate, same as we have to do with other relatives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship so you would let a 4 year old decide?

yes

if they done get on, theres no point carrying it on Wow, what a strange attitude to have.

your opinion, It is certainly, I cannot imagine a 4 year old has the capacity to yay or nay an adult, especially one that is getting close to mummy.

I agree with Fems opinion on this. A 4year old is a baby. Who lets a baby dictate? Like anything else in life and as much as we love our children, they cannot have this power.

Maybe someone who is no more than a baby herself?"

There is a tendency to see it that way. A 4yr old will be fickle saying one thing one day the opposite the next an immature parent often fails to see the big picture and just see it how they want to see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My step mum was an evil cow who was nice when my dad was around then turned into a bitch when he was not.

She hated me from day one and made my life a miserable time

To the point of me having to leave home when I was 15. I was working by then so able to pay my own way in life.

If I saw her again in a thousand years it would be a thousand years to soon.

Is your real name Cinderella?"

No actually it's Rob.

And I don't appreciate the sarcasm!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as a parent my child means more to me than any man ever would.. if she didnt like him then there would be no relationship "

when my son was little he used to like everyone, so if I was in that situation and he didn't like my new partner it would be because there was something very wrong with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have both a step-dad and a step-mum.

My step-dad is very much like a father to me, however my step-mum and me don't get on at all.

A friend of mine gets on with his step-mum very well. He is having an affair with her, I didn't believe it at first until I saw them together at a party recently with his hand down her knickers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mmmmmmmmmmmm

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