FabSwingers.com forum: Spiders

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Really getting on my tits now.

I've had to escort out so many of the buggers this last week. Just decided to have a swim in the bath and had to get three of them out of the tub first.

And they decided to shit cobwebs everywhere while in the process. No manner at all.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

conkers!!

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

One conker in all corners keeps them away!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im loving the massive cobwebs all over the garden at the moment

Until I walk through one and then I turn into a woman demented

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad went to catch one on Friday, it caught on and hid under the sofa. Dad shouted "FUCKING COWARD!!" at it. Still makes me laugh til it literally hurts.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Im loving the massive cobwebs all over the garden at the moment

Until I walk through one and then I turn into a woman demented

everyone turns into jackie chan when they walk through a spiderweb lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really getting on my tits now.

I've had to escort out so many of the buggers this last week. Just decided to have a swim in the bath and had to get three of them out of the tub first.

And they decided to shit cobwebs everywhere while in the process. No manner at all.

Shit cobwebs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really getting on my tits now.

I've had to escort out so many of the buggers this last week. Just decided to have a swim in the bath and had to get three of them out of the tub first.

And they decided to shit cobwebs everywhere while in the process. No manner at all.

I won't go near them at all, i run if i see one, one crawled up my leg a few weeks ago and i nearly cried while jumping about to get it off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it me or are the spiders on steroids this year? we have had some huge ones in my house, and i quite like spiders i don't call a average spider big like some

when I say its big its BIG

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we always use conkers - as soon as the first fall of them we place them all over = this year conkers are failing - three of the monsters appeared yesterday but getting at least one a day - creeping me out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Conkers didnt work for me ~ Brian the huge tarantuala who lives in my fireplace stuck his middle leg up as if to say are you having a laugh as he crawled over it ..

It's mating season that's why they are blimin everywhere!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those big,fat garden spiders took over my garden last winter. Hundreds of them covering the kids swing set,washing line and back door window

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Driving the works van the other, pulled down the sun visor and 2 big garden spiders fell down, bloody shit myself. Good job I was only doing 30 lol

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I'm sure that there's a spray you can get... but also, I think that there's an electric device (ultrasonic maybe) which is supposed to rid your house of nearly all vermin (doesn't work on teenagers

lol)..

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Can't. Stand. Them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mine dont mate they get splatted - daughter says peppermint spray is the next thing to try

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually don't mind them at the moment. We are still suffering with flies so the garden spider that has taken up residency in the kitchen is taking care of some of those!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's mating season that's why they are blimin everywhere!"

They should put an advert in "meets"

Them single blokes who'll fuck anything will have them scarpering in no time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dad went to catch one on Friday, it caught on and hid under the sofa. Dad shouted "FUCKING COWARD!!" at it. Still makes me laugh til it literally hurts. "

Haha that made me laugh

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Driving the works van the other, pulled down the sun visor and 2 big garden spiders fell down, bloody shit myself. Good job I was only doing 30 lol "
when I was a teenager, I was at a band practice in an old church (I'm a drummer) when a HUGE spider (size of my hand) fell from the rafters into my lap..... an inch in front of my nose. That made me jump.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's mating season that's why they are blimin everywhere!

They should put an advert in "meets"

Them single blokes who'll fuck anything will have them scarpering in no time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really getting on my tits now.

I've had to escort out so many of the buggers this last week. Just decided to have a swim in the bath and had to get three of them out of the tub first.

And they decided to shit cobwebs everywhere while in the process. No manner at all.

"
one went across our floor friday it was that big he was big enough to carry a rucksack "yuk"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Driving the works van the other, pulled down the sun visor and 2 big garden spiders fell down, bloody shit myself. Good job I was only doing 30 lol when I was a teenager, I was at a band practice in an old church (I'm a drummer) when a HUGE spider (size of my hand) fell from the rafters into my lap..... an inch in front of my nose. That made me jump.

"
my work mate jumped out of the van before I had stopped, thought he was going to do a runner lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im terrified of spiders all sizes my whole body shakes with fear and i cant breath properly..... bigger ones i swear u can see there tattoos and lipstick....

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By *B4everCouple
over a year ago

Erdington

Get a cat!

lol

I have a stupid irrational fear of spiders that used to always turn me into a dumb squealing girl at the sight of them

this only happens when I'm caught out by one now lol

But seriously, forget catching mice, my cats are skilled spider catchers(and munchers

) and keep the place relatively clear of them and other creepy crawlies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had some huge ones in my house the last few weeks, I think I have a Venice beach for spiders somewhere where they are doing weights and bench presses. Thankfully, my son is expert at catching them for me and throwing them out. I shit myself earlier when picking a pair of my boys pants up and one ran out. If they can go near my sons pants, ain't nothin' gonna kill em!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 things in life scare me.

Spiders.

Going up ladders.

Losing my penis.

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By *aris23Woman
over a year ago

France

"I'm sure that there's a spray you can get... but also, I think that there's an electric device (ultrasonic maybe) which is supposed to rid your house of nearly all vermin (doesn't work on teenagers

lol).."

I've had a electronic gismo for a couple of years and it worked wonders. Moved to a new home recently and this thread has reminded me to find where it is packed and get it out quickly!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just killed a flying spider. I don't like killing them but they're hard to get out of a window and my daughter won't come out of the toilet with one flying around the living room

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Murderer.

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By *eedelightsWoman
over a year ago

London

Spray with strong hold hairspray then Hoover them up

Hate hate hate them uuuurrrgggghh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Murderer."

I know. I feel bad for the poor fellow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

flying spiders - you mean daddy long legs - i dont mind them - grab them and throw out of the window - thick legged glaring at you plotting how to pounce spiders get the splat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just killed a flying spider. I don't like killing them but they're hard to get out of a window and my daughter won't come out of the toilet with one flying around the living room "

Flying?! Spider?!

Oh f@ck, my nightmares are true, the spawn of satan have wings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One dropped down my top today, I still don't know where from. Caught the bastard before he got too far down.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I like Spiders.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

"
I hope a giant spider eats your toes in your sleep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like Spiders.

I like em too ...about 6ft away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

I hope a giant spider eats your toes in your sleep.

insert weepy emoticon

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

I hope a giant spider eats your toes in your sleep.

insert weepy emoticon "
I would love to be there when mummy and daddy want to know where their offspring went....they might bring the whole extended family!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a Bengal cat.. Mine just eats them!

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

when I was a kid we had an outside lav and always had huge daddy long legs on the walls so had to keep my arms in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

I hope a giant spider eats your toes in your sleep.

insert weepy emoticon I would love to be there when mummy and daddy want to know where their offspring went....they might bring the whole extended family!

now thats just being cruel

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

I hope a giant spider eats your toes in your sleep.

insert weepy emoticon I would love to be there when mummy and daddy want to know where their offspring went....they might bring the whole extended family!

now thats just being cruel

"
Too much? Sorry xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dad went to catch one on Friday, it caught on and hid under the sofa. Dad shouted "FUCKING COWARD!!" at it. Still makes me laugh til it literally hurts. "

Just spilt my wine reading that one!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

I hope a giant spider eats your toes in your sleep.

"
reminds me of that viral facebook post about spiders rubbing their willies on your face while you're asleep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

I hope a giant spider eats your toes in your sleep.

insert weepy emoticon I would love to be there when mummy and daddy want to know where their offspring went....they might bring the whole extended family!

now thats just being cruel

Too much? Sorry xxxx"

hee hee its ok - the number ive 'got rid' of this last few days probably means ive covered mum, dad, grandparents, aunties, cousins - the babies are running scared

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I seem to be running a sanctuary for spiders.

I have two at the front door - one inside and the other outside. Every morning and evening I have to break through two webs to get out and get in.

There is one in my bedroom scuttling across the ceiling, just out of reach.

The bathroom one seems to be kingpin though. That one is really big and I am sure it's deploying the others around the house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One dropped down my top today, I still don't know where from. Caught the bastard before he got too far down. "

It was just that, errrrrrrrm, I thought I dropped something down there, that's all!! Innocent mistakes, pft, some people!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After reading all these comments I have had to scour every inch of my house to see if any spiders have managed to creep In today. Pleased to say, house is spider free!! Phew. Xx

Cant bear them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"flying spiders - you mean daddy long legs - i dont mind them - grab them and throw out of the window - thick legged glaring at you plotting how to pounce spiders get the splat"

My daughter is petrified of them. I don't like touching them and the cats were all awol so it got splatted by a cook book. Quick death

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

I hope a giant spider eats your toes in your sleep.

insert weepy emoticon I would love to be there when mummy and daddy want to know where their offspring went....they might bring the whole extended family!

now thats just being cruel

Too much? Sorry xxxx

hee hee its ok - the number ive 'got rid' of this last few days probably means ive covered mum, dad, grandparents, aunties, cousins - the babies are running scared "
Tis the cousins that you need to watch out for...HUGE fuckers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read the OP again and had images of Lib taking spiders out to the theatre

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

I hope a giant spider eats your toes in your sleep.

insert weepy emoticon I would love to be there when mummy and daddy want to know where their offspring went....they might bring the whole extended family!

Unfortunately it will only be mummy as daddy was a snack after mating

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

The cat n dog eat all spiders etc .I used to always catch em and throw out the door... Don't get a look in these days

they really don't bother me ( mrs)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just read the OP again and had images of Lib taking spiders out to the theatre "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

I hope a giant spider eats your toes in your sleep.

insert weepy emoticon I would love to be there when mummy and daddy want to know where their offspring went....they might bring the whole extended family!

now thats just being cruel

Too much? Sorry xxxx

hee hee its ok - the number ive 'got rid' of this last few days probably means ive covered mum, dad, grandparents, aunties, cousins - the babies are running scared Tis the cousins that you need to watch out for...HUGE fuckers.

ggrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One dropped down my top today, I still don't know where from. Caught the bastard before he got too far down.

It was just that, errrrrrrrm, I thought I dropped something down there, that's all!! Innocent mistakes, pft, some people!!

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

Can't stand them....always screaming the house down when they appear

It's ridiculous I'm scared so badly but just can't help it

"DIE MOTHER FUCKER DIE"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the kids used to drop the old large yellow pages on them and just leave it wherever it landed - often came home and have to stand on the book to 'make sure' and then deal with the corpse - im braver now - piece of kitchen paper - grab and screw up tight and throw down the loo

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By *atcherofmyballsMan
over a year ago

hereford

I got one that lives under the tele stand. He comes out about 9 pm, we have a chat and he goes on his way. Still trying to get rent out of the little fucker.

It's ok the men in white coats are here now

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

on friday night when i went to the bathroom one was in my sink spotted it when i was sat on the loo however next time i looked it was on my hand towel next to sink i was going to post on here can they jump ,so i flicked into the bath and let it stay there ,on sat let it crawl onto a bit of tissue and threw it out of the window

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They have eight legs you know! I just counted them....

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

I hope a giant spider eats your toes in your sleep.

Oh please don't - when I was still in my crib one came down form the ceiling on its web and landed right on my foot! The memory stayed with me my whole life hence why am petrified of them.

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

"I like Spiders.

i know you hate crocs - but i use mine to splat them -

I hope a giant spider eats your toes in your sleep.

Oh please don't - when I was still in my crib one came down form the ceiling on its web and landed right on my foot! The memory stayed with me my whole life hence why am petrified of them.

"
makes a note to us both "do not wear matching spiderman outfits in your vicinity"

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

One time, in Australia, I had opened the sliding window and next time I looked there was a Huntsman spider bigger than my hand apparently trapped between the two windows. My boyfriend was away for the week and I couldn't bear to slide the window closed and deal with the beast as they are super fast, so I couldn't close the window for a week. I was more scared of the spider than potential burglars!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"wow,,you,ve got tits,,how long have you been on hormones or are you just a fat bastard"

Neither, they are inflatable.

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By *ozzy87Man
over a year ago

Crawley

We keep getting the big black ones running around the bathroom. I was sat on the loo minding my buisness when 1 ran past my bare foot. Don't like em near my feet!!

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By *xpresMan
over a year ago

Elland

"conkers!!"

Nope that is bollox.....

The reason so many in the house is because it's mating season for the little darlings I'd rather have a house full of spiders than one bluebottle flying about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got one that lives under the tele stand. He comes out about 9 pm, we have a chat and he goes on his way. Still trying to get rent out of the little fucker.

It's ok the men in white coats are here now

9pm? Hmmmmmmm, was he looking for big brother?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One time, in Australia, I had opened the sliding window and next time I looked there was a Huntsman spider bigger than my hand apparently trapped between the two windows. My boyfriend was away for the week and I couldn't bear to slide the window closed and deal with the beast as they are super fast, so I couldn't close the window for a week. I was more scared of the spider than potential burglars!"

If I were a spider in oz, I'd be well scared of them Ozzie Sheila's!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"conkers!!

Nope that is bollox.....

The reason so many in the house is because it's mating season for the little darlings I'd rather have a house full of spiders than one bluebottle flying about"

oh well at least if theyre horny they are dying happy

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

"One conker in all corners keeps them away!!!"

Really?

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

If I were a spider in oz, I'd be well scared of them Ozzie Sheila's!!

Another time we had come home from a night out, turned the light on and noticed about half the living room ceiling had turned black......thousands of spider babies!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually don't mind them at the moment. We are still suffering with flies so the garden spider that has taken up residency in the kitchen is taking care of some of those!"
Yes flies are still and always have been a nuisance comeing inside when they smell

something, I only remembered thee other

Day about those coloured blinds you can

Get that hang down in door ways their

Main purpose was to stop flies etc Entrying Inside thou I don,t know where to get the blinds from what shop

Would sell them ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really getting on my tits now.

I've had to escort out so many of the buggers this last week. Just decided to have a swim in the bath and had to get three of them out of the tub first.

And they decided to shit cobwebs everywhere while in the process. No manner at all.

one went across our floor friday it was that big he was big enough to carry a rucksack "yuk""
I know We hate flies etc but Imagine being Stuck in her web waiting for the end

Your only solice would be to hope she,s quick with her fangs as her main

Priority would be to devour you as a liquid soup out of your dried husk...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just killed a flying spider. I don't like killing them but they're hard to get out of a window and my daughter won't come out of the toilet with one flying around the living room

Flying?! Spider?! We used to have jumping spiders out doors luckily They stayed outdoors usually on the garden shed with the sun beaming down on to them little grey and black wolf spiders there was nothing on earth that could have cleared their path when they jumped they never made webs but jumped on their prey.

Oh f@ck, my nightmares are true, the spawn of satan have wings

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

If I were a spider in oz, I'd be well scared of them Ozzie Sheila's!!

Another time we had come home from a night out, turned the light on and noticed about half the living room ceiling had turned black......thousands of spider babies!!!!"
Australia have some serious spiders.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"conkers!!

Nope that is bollox.....

The reason so many in the house is because it's mating season for the little darlings I'd rather have a house full of spiders than one bluebottle flying about"

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

On the subject of spiders I am looking for some high quality spider jewellry, have found some tat, but nowt that takes my fancy, if you know of anywhere, message me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"3 things in life scare me.

Spiders.

Going up ladders.

Losing my penis. "
Hahahahahaha I don,t go under ladders either Intentionally.

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

"On the subject of spiders I am looking for some high quality spider jewellry, have found some tat, but nowt that takes my fancy, if you know of anywhere, message me x"

Have a look for sterling silver spiders on etsy.com

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On the subject of spiders I am looking for some high quality spider jewellry, have found some tat, but nowt that takes my fancy, if you know of anywhere, message me x

Have a look for sterling silver spiders on etsy.com"

was going to say etsy - my girl spends hours browsing there

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