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14 things men think when eating pussy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

1. I should have looked up "clitoris" on Wikipedia before this whole thing started.

2. Is she still watching TV? I can't tell if her eyes are closed or if she's still watching Conan...wait, is she looking at me? No, her eyes are closed. Are they? Yeah. Wait, no?

3. Does she want me to touch her boobs? I think I can reach her boobs from here. Nope, I can't. I'm just kind of awkwardly clawing at her rib cage. Abort.

4. Oh, fuck. I have to cough. Will she notice if I cough directly into her vagina? No, don't run the risk. Suppress it, dude.

5. Dammit, she did want me to touch her boobs. Now she's touching her own boobs. Wait, this is awesome. STOP STARING AND KEEP GOING.

6. Are we going to have sex soon? (Full disclosure, this one is pretty much being thought the whole time. It's also being thought when a man isn't giving oral, like when he's engaging you in casual conversation, or eating a hot dog, or sleeping. Men are thinking this about every woman they come into casual contact with all day).

7. Whatever happened to Ashanti? Is she still making music? I have to remember to Google her later.

8.My beard is going to smell like vagina later. I think I'm ok with this. I know I'm ok with this. (NOTE: This only pertains to men with beards)

9. Lying on my stomach with an erection isn't ideal. Where the fuck do I put my dick right now? Ok, I'm going to try to just point it down...nope. Everything happening to my dick is awful right now. Would she notice if I cut a hole in her mattress and made myself a cock burrow?

10. I STILL CAN'T TELL IF YOUR EYES ARE CLOSED FROM THIS ANGLE. ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME? SHOULD I WINK OR SOME SHIT?

11. Ok, she's arching her back. Her right leg is twitching. I'm the fucking man right now. Don't lose focus. Do not forget to look up Ashanti's career trajectory later.

12. SHE IS LITERALLY CRUSHING MY HEAD WITH HER THIGHS WHERE DID SHE GET THIS STRENGTH FROM SHE IS PUSHING MY HEAD INTO HER VAGINA IF THIS IS HOW I AM GOING TO DIE THEN SO BE IT I WILL LEAVE THIS WORLD AS I CAME INTO IT

13. She came? Yeah. Yeah? Ok, yeah. I'm allowed up now.

14. Alright, I'm going to wait for about two seconds and then just try and put my penis in her vagina. No fear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can reach the boobs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While I disagree with most of it (from a personal point of view) I did actually find no. 9 extremely funny.

Very entertaining though

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I wonder about 9 too.

I worry about 12.

I thought you were going to post one about what it feels like to get a little suckie.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

[Removed by poster at 12/09/14 19:46:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

15. If I'm licking her pussy then WHAT THE FUCK is licking my arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can reach the boobs "

Love a man with long arms

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

get flicking that bean boys

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"15. If I'm licking her pussy then WHAT THE FUCK is licking my arse"

Sorry, it was my pussy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Number 9 you're supposed to turn around and stick it in her mouth

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Hahaha.. This is rather funny!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha ha very good... eyes closed it's pure concentration on our parts... ahem... cough...cough...cough.. or maybe not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Number 9 you're supposed to turn around and stick it in her mouth "

That works for me

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Number 9 you're supposed to turn around and stick it in her mouth "

Not with me - if they dare move the thighs are likely to smother them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Number 8 is so me!

...i love it haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha brilliant made me laugh nice work sir.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm actually crying I'm laughing so hard!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Its originally from Cosmo, by Frank Kobola, in Oct'13.

So, thank you, Frank....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An extra one?

15. I've been been working her G-spot with my finger tip so long my wrist is about to go into spasm!

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By *ozzy87Man
over a year ago

Crawley

Dude your thinking way too much while licking pussy!! Focus on the task at hand, nothing else matters!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"An extra one?

15. I've been been working her G-spot with my finger tip so long my wrist is about to go into spasm!"

Yes - been there.... Or my finger is going into cramp...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Number 9 you're supposed to turn around and stick it in her mouth

Not with me - if they dare move the thighs are likely to smother them.

"

I helpfully hold the thighs open

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I will risk No.12 - That will do me... What a way to go....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trying not to laugh out loud my daughter is in the room - can imagine david walliams acting this out or maybe mr bean pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or maybe...

16. My face & fingers are drenched in pussy juice and she wants me to fuck her... do I wipe it on the sheets before I affectionately cup her face to kiss her... will she kill me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"trying not to laugh out loud my daughter is in the room - can imagine david walliams acting this out or maybe mr bean pmsl "

It would have to be Mr Bean! Quality!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done you that made me chortle big style

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"15. If I'm licking her pussy then WHAT THE FUCK is licking my arse

Sorry, it was my pussy.

"

Meow

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By *oxoxoWoman
over a year ago

london

there's a similar thread on 21 things women are thinking off….

21…

very telling...

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"there's a similar thread on 21 things women are thinking off….

21…

very telling... "

But between them we still don't get to 69.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"there's a similar thread on 21 things women are thinking off….

21…

very telling... "

That will be due to Multi Tasking....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or maybe...

16. My face & fingers are drenched in pussy juice and she wants me to fuck her... do I wipe it on the sheets before I affectionately cup her face to kiss her... will she kill me?"

Wipe it on her forehead,that's what someone did to me once. I did know him well so I forgave him

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I sometimes wondered what men were thinking about when giving me oral. Then suddenly I stopped caring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or maybe...

16. My face & fingers are drenched in pussy juice and she wants me to fuck her... do I wipe it on the sheets before I affectionately cup her face to kiss her... will she kill me?

Wipe it on her forehead,that's what someone did to me once. I did know him well so I forgave him "

Was it done in a sly way or a bit too obvious?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or maybe...

16. My face & fingers are drenched in pussy juice and she wants me to fuck her... do I wipe it on the sheets before I affectionately cup her face to kiss her... will she kill me?

Wipe it on her forehead,that's what someone did to me once. I did know him well so I forgave him

Was it done in a sly way or a bit too obvious?"

Obvious,just dragged his fingers across my forehead. I was glad it wasn't the sofa though to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I sometimes wondered what men were thinking about when giving me oral. Then suddenly I stopped caring "

It had never crossed my mind until tonight. When I'm giving I'm not thinking about anything,I'm too busy enjoying myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Or maybe...

16. My face & fingers are drenched in pussy juice and she wants me to fuck her... do I wipe it on the sheets before I affectionately cup her face to kiss her... will she kill me?

Wipe it on her forehead,that's what someone did to me once. I did know him well so I forgave him

Was it done in a sly way or a bit too obvious?

Obvious,just dragged his fingers across my forehead. I was glad it wasn't the sofa though to be honest "

Lmao... knew it!

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By *illwill69uMan
over a year ago

moston

nom nom nom!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

16. Ffs will she cum already my tongue actually hurts right now.

17. If she moves a little I can actually breathe again. Oh no I need air!!! The room is getting cloudy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"16. Ffs will she cum already my tongue actually hurts right now.

17. If she moves a little I can actually breathe again. Oh no I need air!!! The room is getting cloudy "

So men can't actually breathe through their ears?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"16. Ffs will she cum already my tongue actually hurts right now.

17. If she moves a little I can actually breathe again. Oh no I need air!!! The room is getting cloudy

So men can't actually breathe through their ears? "

Possibly.... But being able to hold your breath for a long time certainly helps...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Waking next morning with tongue ache hard to explain when u ask a colleague if they have spare painkillers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"15. If I'm licking her pussy then WHAT THE FUCK is licking my arse"

Hahahahaha I like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha fantastic

Next time it happens to me I'm going to be lying there thinking what's he thinking now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been a victim of 12

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LMAO

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I think he went up to 11.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bet her arse tastes better....wonder if she'd let me have a taste?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"15. If I'm licking her pussy then WHAT THE FUCK is licking my arse"

16 can not remember did i lock the dog in the kitchen ??

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

That was funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Number nine has made my morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

17 this was more fun when I got pubes stuck in my teeth ??

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

The answer to number 9 is to practice some yoga. Do the frog and you'd be fine. Maybe intersperse with some cat but downward dog is just being silly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love this thread!

You're clearly a very cunning linguist Maestrale!

To be honest - i'm usually thinking 'Is it polite to give him about two minutes and ask for that lovely cock inside me?' - Sorry but i'm a huge penetration fan!! xx

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