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Friends you've fucked

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Have any of you lot brought sex into your friendships in a way which worked... and you still remained friends?

My wife and I have been reading the 'Ethical Slut'. It's authors are lesbian lovers who have fucked their way round many different friends, still keeping friends, and also married different people at different times. This seems a little unusual to us... but we were wondering if anyone else has done it successfully.

It could be that you met someone via swinging, had sex with them, and then became friends afterwards...

Or maybe you had a long term friend, got d*unk, had sex, then remained friends... but with a bit of sex on the side every now and then...

Sex and friendship?!?! It'd be interesting to hear your stories

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have had sexual partners that i have stayed friends with but not had sex with friends although thinking about it sounds fun.

Anyone want to be my friend?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have any of you lot brought sex into your friendships in a way which worked... and you still remained friends?

My wife and I have been reading the 'Ethical Slut'. It's authors are lesbian lovers who have fucked their way round many different friends, still keeping friends, and also married different people at different times. This seems a little unusual to us... but we were wondering if anyone else has done it successfully.

It could be that you met someone via swinging, had sex with them, and then became friends afterwards...

Or maybe you had a long term friend, got d*unk, had sex, then remained friends... but with a bit of sex on the side every now and then...

Sex and friendship?!?! It'd be interesting to hear your stories "

Yes. I somewhat regularly sleep with one of my best friends. I can't speak for him, but it seems like we've got the best of both worlds.

We were both always in relationships so never had the chance to date, however a few years ago we were both at a loose end. It's a little odd now, we can talk about failed dates with other people and be fucking within minutes, then go back to being just friends.

We've managed to maintain it for about 4 years or so (probably sleep together less than 5 times a year).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have had sexual partners that i have stayed friends with but not had sex with friends although thinking about it sounds fun.

Anyone want to be my friend?! "

I do.

Otherwise I'd love to go with Rachel Monica and Phoebe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have had loads of chances to have fun with a few female friends, we do generally steer clear if we think about it, there are a couple of our fems friends that know about our lifestyle and they quite often approach us about it after a few drinks, we are also off to a wedding abroad later this month and 2 other couples (inc the bride and groom) have been to la chamber a few times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I've had sex with someone who was a friend and remained friends. More than once. I've also met someone on the scene, slept with them, and become friends. And I've also met someone in the scene, become friends, slept with them, and stayed friends that hang out with or without sex being involved. I don't equate lust with deeper emotion. Sex is sex. It's fun with the right person, but it's not deep and meaningful unless i want it to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not in this lifestyle , but I am still friends with a few X girlfriends and see them regularly. Not for sex though. Mrs P knows them and has been on girly nights with them. I am going out for the evening with an X in a couple of weeks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've made lots of friends on here who I've then fucked. And my FWB I've been friends with for 3 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had friends who have became long term lovers, but thus far, not had friends who I have had no-strings, casual fun with.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Yes. Nearly 30 years ago I had a bit of fling with a friend. No one else in our set knew and it was mostly just sex after parties or dinner out with others. We are still friends to this day. We know about each others love and sex lives.

I am friendly with all my ex pre-Fab lovers (I almost wrote sprout ) and I am friendly with some Fab people even though we no longer have sex, including my 'maker'.

It's possible but you have to be on the same page.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I avoid it and the people that I have made friends with, I wouldn't have sex with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

trying to convince a girl I know that fucking girl friends isn't that strange...

Often happens with a d*unken kiss and shes already attracted to women.

I don't think its that odd. :P

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I generally only have sex with me friends. For me there's no such thing as NSA... there are always strings. I like it. Not a noose obviously, but I like going for drinks or dinner. It works for me and judging on my mates, it works for them too. It's not unusual in my world. Some of my best friends have been found through swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our first 3 swinging sessions were all with guys I had known a while, one was an old school friend. But Emily hardly knew them. Carried on afterwards exactly as before. The old school friend is now a member on here.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I have never slept with any of my friends, none of them have ever appealed to me in that way, however I have had sex with a few guys I now consider my friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I have. Had sex with my male best friend when we were 23 and 30. Still best friends to this day and he is my son's godfather.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slept with my best friend 2 months ago. Everything's normal still, if anything, there's more banter between us.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis


"Yes. Nearly 30 years ago I had a bit of fling with a friend. No one else in our set knew and it was mostly just sex after parties or dinner out with others. We are still friends to this day. We know about each others love and sex lives.

I am friendly with all my ex pre-Fab lovers (I almost wrote sprout ) and I am friendly with some Fab people even though we no longer have sex, including my 'maker'.

It's possible but you have to be on the same page.

"

that is so true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/09/14 16:05:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My best friend joined me and my ex for a MMF. After that for about 6 months it became acceptable for both of us to have her. Very horny experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lived with a housemate, and she became my fb, we helped each other discover weird and wonderful things about kink and fetishes, I thought we were on the same page and things were just sexual but things started to become serious and weird, it was not fun anymore luckily I changed university and it all stopped, i havent been so sexually compatible with someone since then, but I guess we can't have it all. there's always feelings involved after you sleep with people more than once, one is always bound to get hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I avoid it and the people that I have made friends with, I wouldn't have sex with."

This. Sex and friends don't mix.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I avoid it and the people that I have made friends with, I wouldn't have sex with.

This. Sex and friends don't mix. "

If it's close friends then sex only complicates things. Besides, all my close friends know that I'm a bit of a rogue!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This has been a very enlightening thread... it seems that as many people have enjoyed it and found it uncomplicated as those who would steer clear of it. It very much sounds to me like it's something that would work with the right friend... but not necessarily just any friend.

We haven't got any friends that we're sexually attracted to at the mo. When we were younger (read that as about 2 years ago lol) we were much naiver and looking back there were probably several times we could've had a threesome but just didn't see it... even though it was smacking us in the face lol

It strikes me that if you make friends in the vanilla world or in the swinging world... and there's always an element of flirting and sexuality to the friendship... it may work. Thx everyone... very interesting

I guess this is an interesting reminder that some of the delights of swinging i.e. threesomes and foursomes... can be had outside of the swinging community... if you play your cards right and build new friendships with that possibility in mind.

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis


"I avoid it and the people that I have made friends with, I wouldn't have sex with.

This. Sex and friends don't mix. "

Why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This would not work as we have some dam ugly friends

On a more serious note we are not attracted to any of our friends and they don't know about this side of us but if they did we may visit clubs etc together but as for mixing it up with each other in the bedroom that is just a no go.

However we were friends for many years before we slept with each other and what started out as fun eventually got serious and now we are a couple looking for other pervy friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does getting fucked over by your best friend count?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I avoid it and the people that I have made friends with, I wouldn't have sex with.

This. Sex and friends don't mix.

Why?"

It makes things complicated. I prefer the two kept separate. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I avoid it and the people that I have made friends with, I wouldn't have sex with.

This. Sex and friends don't mix.

Why?

It makes things complicated. I prefer the two kept separate. x"

Is that your experience? Or just some kind of 'common wisdom' you've adopted without wishing to test it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we made friends with people we had sex with - but my friends out of the lifestyle ive never got that way involved - did fancy a past manageress something chronic tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In vanilla life been there done that never again....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I avoid it and the people that I have made friends with, I wouldn't have sex with.

This. Sex and friends don't mix.

Why?

It makes things complicated. I prefer the two kept separate. x

Is that your experience? Or just some kind of 'common wisdom' you've adopted without wishing to test it? "

No bad experiences. Just prefer to keep my sex life separate and private. Not saying people wouldn't be discreet though.

I'm odd... you must have noticed....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I avoid it and the people that I have made friends with, I wouldn't have sex with.

This. Sex and friends don't mix.

Why?

It makes things complicated. I prefer the two kept separate. x"

Didnt in anyway whatsoever for us

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Yes. Nearly 30 years ago I had a bit of fling with a friend. No one else in our set knew and it was mostly just sex after parties or dinner out with others.

"

Yes, I did that a couple of times with an old college buddy and we're still friends, but his new girlfriend doesn't seem to like me for some reason.....quelle domage!

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I've done both. Me and my best mate (who I've known since I was 11 or so) fuck every now and then and have done since we were in our twenties in between relationships. He suggested I join Fab in the first place! We're on sex hiatus at the moment but are still best mates. Then a few months back I met a guy through Fab who I am now really good friends with outside of the bedroom, with the added bonus of having incredible sex when we both feel like it. In my experience it is entirely possible to be a friend with excellent benefits provided both parties are brutally honest and upfront (some would say blunt) about those pesky feelings that crop up now and again.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"

I guess this is an interesting reminder that some of the delights of swinging i.e. threesomes and foursomes... can be had outside of the swinging community... if you play your cards right and build new friendships with that possibility in mind."

My first threesome experience was 20 years ago before I even knew about any of this stuff.

My then partner asked if I would consider having sex with him and his best friend. I decided to make it their Christmas present. No friendships were harmed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never done it ever, I have some kind of mental block where if I'm friends with someone I seem to be incapable of finding the sexually attractive...although I have become friends with people I've already fucked. Was never able to date anyone I knew as a friend either.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've done both. Me and my best mate (who I've known since I was 11 or so) fuck every now and then and have done since we were in our twenties in between relationships. He suggested I join Fab in the first place! We're on sex hiatus at the moment but are still best mates. Then a few months back I met a guy through Fab who I am now really good friends with outside of the bedroom, with the added bonus of having incredible sex when we both feel like it. In my experience it is entirely possible to be a friend with excellent benefits provided both parties are brutally honest and upfront (some would say blunt) about those pesky feelings that crop up now and again."

I'm intrigued by this last statement Ligeia. Are you saying that there have been moments when one or other of you have started falling for the other and you've had to have frank words about it and decided to cool things off as a result? My own experience has been that admission of such things has either led to a relationship or to the end of a friendship... ahhh... but then again these 'friendships' did not have a sexual element so maybe that's what makes the difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have. Me and a female friend have been friends for 4 years. We was out one night with a load of others and she asked me if I'd give her a lift home as it was on my way home.

I need to use her bathroom when I dropped her off to which she let me. Then I was walking to the door to leave she stumbled and I caught her. We looked at each other and kissed. Then stopped kissing looked at each other again and grabbed each other kissing again leaving a trail of clothes upstairs. We had sex twice then I left. We are still big mates it hadn't affected our friendship

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

[Removed by poster at 10/09/14 21:33:06]

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"Have any of you lot brought sex into your friendships in a way which worked... and you still remained friends?

My wife and I have been reading the 'Ethical Slut'. It's authors are lesbian lovers who have fucked their way round many different friends, still keeping friends, and also married different people at different times. This seems a little unusual to us... but we were wondering if anyone else has done it successfully.

It could be that you met someone via swinging, had sex with them, and then became friends afterwards...

Or maybe you had a long term friend, got d*unk, had sex, then remained friends... but with a bit of sex on the side every now and then...

Sex and friendship?!?! It'd be interesting to hear your stories "

I've fucked people and then become friends with them, but we tend not to fuck after that. I've also had friends whom I've fucked, but then we weren't friends or fucking afterwards! Oops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

theres barely a friend or ex I've slept with that I'm not still in touch with....and very rarely sexually.

To me, its being a grown up...unless people part ways for very nasty reasons...I can never understand why they put so much drama on life.

ex gets married?-be happy for her/him...respect the boundaries, thats all thats needed.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"In my experience it is entirely possible to be a friend with excellent benefits provided both parties are brutally honest and upfront (some would say blunt) about those pesky feelings that crop up now and again.

I'm intrigued by this last statement Ligeia. Are you saying that there have been moments when one or other of you have started falling for the other and you've had to have frank words about it and decided to cool things off as a result? My own experience has been that admission of such things has either led to a relationship or to the end of a friendship... ahhh... but then again these 'friendships' did not have a sexual element so maybe that's what makes the difference "

With the first guy we need each other too much as friends to ever be a couple. We know each other far too well and also know we would be awful at it. Plus we have decades of friendship and the sex has only ever been occasional. On one occasion the sex became a regular occurrence and it started to feel like a relationship (and not a good one, we were right not to go there!) so we called it quits on the sex aspect. As for the other guy; we live in different cities and have wildly different work schedules in jobs we both love. We talk a lot and see each other when we can. A relationship in a traditional sense would be an option if we were logistically able. Since it's not we're happy knowing how we feel about each other (those pesky emotion things again) and are having a fantastic time, both together and with others.

Sorry it's long winded (I edited my original answer, which was even longer) but it's hard to explain!

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