FabSwingers.com forum: Please help..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So here goes, I've been on here over a week, and a lot of people aren't my type, I have standards to the kind of person I'd like to meet, I get inundated with messages daily, men, women n couples, I hate the idea of them not being who they seem, of it being all words, they don't look like their pics, no physical or sexual attraction? what if they hurt me or something??? Also I'm bi-curious but I do even know where to begin ??? So help? Am I alone in thinking this. Sorry to have to ask..

Please don't bash me I'm 23 n inexperienced so please take that into account.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Filters are your friends, you can set them to restrict who can message you, good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So here goes, I've been on here over a week, and a lot of people aren't my type, I have standards to the kind of person I'd like to meet, I get inundated with messages daily, men, women n couples, I hate the idea of them not being who they seem, of it being all words, they don't look like their pics, no physical or sexual attraction? what if they hurt me or something??? Also I'm bi-curious but I do even know where to begin ??? So help? Am I alone in thinking this. Sorry to have to ask..

Please don't bash me I'm 23 n inexperienced so please take that into account."

Don't jump in to anything too quickly, take your time & get a feel of it first!!

.......unless it's me messaging you - cos I'm a nice guy!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Standards..... What are they? We all fuck each other regardless on here didn't you know! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm a lot older and still got these worries too.

just arrange meets publicly (when you're ready to meet anyone), and make sure the guy/girl/couple knows it is a social meet, that way there is no pressure to do anything sexual and you can relax a little.

ask a freind you can trust to call you during the meet, that way someone knows where you are and if you're safe.

i cannot state this enough, but you always have the right to turn anyone down, no matter how far they've travelled and no matter what pressure they put on you, or if you feel guilty or whatever, if you don't feel happy then it's your right to just walk away.

consider using kik or skype to contact people away from this site, that way you don't have to give out your phone number to anyone.

people often don't look exactly like their pics, but if you cam them (and they go on cam) then you have an idea what they look like.

i've had mostly good experiences on here, hope you do too. am sure others will have good advice as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm oribably one of them guys and I come with a polite approach it's alway up to you and your choice just block apply filters and stay in charge at all times x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wouldn't worry about most people not being your type, they'll understand that, it's just they like the look of you so will send you a message in the hope that they like you back.

i'm not meeting couples alone either, just so that i don't feel intimdated.

everyone gets loads of messages, try and keep on top of your inbox by blocking anyone who doesn't take no for an answer.

save messages from people who do interest you, then use delete all to clear the rest. that helps me keep on top of my inbox anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately you ARE going to be inundated with messages, you are an attractive single woman on a swingers site.

Again, sometimes people are going to tell lies, some will have 10 or 20 year old pics, some will be all talk....... Some people who are true aren't going to spark with you.

I would hope that no one will hurt you (I've never heard of it happening), but there might be a risk of that.....

Answers.........

You aren't under any obligation to meet anyone.

You aren't under any obligation to play with anyone you meet.

If you do meet someone and they turn out to have been full of shit you can leave. There and then. Most people would encourage you to.

Always take a phone with you and have a friend call you after 30 mins or so. I've met several people on one to one meets who have had friends call up to check that they were ok etc sometimes it's interrupted a blow job, but I've not minded. Always meet in a public place for a social drink before deciding to play. If you get a bad vibe or feel scared, just leave. There and Then. The person you are meeting might get arsey, but you don't owe anything to anyone.

As a lot of people have said, there are clubs to go to where the staff are always very welcoming and will back you up to the hilt, or there are organised social meets where, again, the organisers will be happy to take care of you. Some people on the forums don't like them, but the chat rooms are good fun too and people will back you up (and, like the forums, most people in there are regulars and will steer you clear of known pervs and nutters)......

Hope you start to feel like playing and that you enjoy yourself when you do (and not just because you are just down the road from me )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately you ARE going to be inundated with messages, you are an attractive single woman on a swingers site.

Again, sometimes people are going to tell lies, some will have 10 or 20 year old pics, some will be all talk....... Some people who are true aren't going to spark with you.

I would hope that no one will hurt you (I've never heard of it happening), but there might be a risk of that.....

Answers.........

You aren't under any obligation to meet anyone.

You aren't under any obligation to play with anyone you meet.

If you do meet someone and they turn out to have been full of shit you can leave. There and then. Most people would encourage you to.

.."

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

I think you should start off in the clubs, there are always plenty of people around if you are worried or feeling pressured and organised local socials are highly recommended to meet a lot of people and get a feel of the scene.

As other have said you call the shots and you only do what you want to do and what you are comfortable with. It is always okay to say you have changed your mind.

You will have so much fun on here but you need to go at your own pace and stay safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All good advice. My bit for what it's worth. If you really don't feel ready, don't!! Just stick to your cam.

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By *utmegsMan
over a year ago

Closer than you think

"All good advice. My bit for what it's worth. If you really don't feel ready, don't!! Just stick to your cam."

Seconded. Stay in your comfort zone until YOU are ready, and stick to your guns. There are an awful lot more men here than women so you can be as careful as you like in your choices.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

block all guys and do the searching yourself, it may be easier.

welcome and good luck

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"block all guys and do the searching yourself, it may be easier.

welcome and good luck"

This

And the recommendation to try clubs - there's plenty near you and it won't be an expensive learning experience!

Oh - and nice tats.

I said TATS....not..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can set your filters so no one can contact you unless ypu have contacted them first (either a message or a wink) - do that abd your inbox will become far more manageable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You aren't alone. Most new users feel the same. You will have to develop a thick skin, and as others have said, filters and the block button are your friend!

Also, safety is a must. I have a clots friend who knows about this I can trust and I tell her where I go, and I've tecently made friends with some girls on here and we are helping each other out.

As for not being what they seem... Check veris, if they only have one pic from a high angle and nothing else that may (not always though!) be hiding something, and I find when you get to chatting u shd ask them to take a pic right there. That puts the fakers off.

Good luck and be safe

Bee xxx

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Duplicate thread here http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/304621

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always meet publicly if you have any doubts. That way if you're not interested you don't have to worry of really being alone incase something happens (not that anything would)

If you can host, weigh up the option of how safe you feel bringing people back to your place. If you have any doubts or reservations, again, try something more public.

Always go with your guy feeling. Luckily we are all here for the same reasons, an you'll soon work out who is for real and who isn't.

Welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always bash women over the head and drag them to my cave and make them a nice cup of tea and play romantic music

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"I always bash women over the head and drag them to my cave and make them a nice cup of tea and play romantic music "

You're one of those 'fluffy' doms aren't you?

I'd heard of those

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always bash women over the head and drag them to my cave and make them a nice cup of tea and play romantic music

You're one of those 'fluffy' doms aren't you?

I'd heard of those

Hold on wile I check what a fluffy dom is on Google and I will let you know baby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok so I can't find it on Google?

Waltham abbey wow your only 10 mins away from me, maybe you know my true identity

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