FabSwingers.com forum: Profile Translations

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lets have some fun. Translate what people actually mean on their profiles.

I'm VWE - I'm actually average but the camera angle helps

Athletic - I went to the gym once

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Open to a relationship...

am sitting in my brides/groom's outfit waiting for someone to come along...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Been told I'm good looking - No one has ever said that to me.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Been told I'm good looking - By my Mum

I love a good, hard shag - Won't do foreplay

Open-minded - I'll do anything for a shag

I'm happy to meet socially first - I won't stop pestering you for a shag all the way through the meet

Reliable - I never answer my phone/texts

No face pics because I have an important job - no face pics because I'm ugly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can breathe through my ears......

(Oh how I wish you'd try.....

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The statement that always confuses me is " I'm a professional" - do they mean they are super qualified in sex? Or they were in the TV series

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just come out of a relationship and up for fun - I'm not over him but I'm hoping you fucking me will help!

I'm clean and discrete - I bathed last night and will show the lads in work all your photos

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I am genuine = honestly, I am, I promise I am, please, I won't let you down, I promise, please pick me, please... fat, thin, one eyed, no teeth any fucker will do... please...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FOR ALL THE MEN OUT THERE THAT NEVER READ MY PROFILE...

Translated:

"Ignore this!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fill this in later...no you won't.

Feel free to message me...sits and waits.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

been here before.... oh fuck, block

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

treat with respect.... I am hoping to go back and get a second shag....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Just come out of a relationship and up for fun - I'm not over him but I'm hoping you fucking me will help!

I'm clean and discrete - I bathed last night and will show the lads in work all your photos

genuine lols as the yoof say

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

we are fuckbuds.... NO SINGLE GUYS EVER EVER EVER..

she is mine and I am not letting anyone else see her, play with her because she is all mine, mine I say MINE.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will meet women of all ages, race, shapes and sizes - as long as you got a heartbeat. I'd fuck ya.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight lad for local women...

Translated:

I've been looking at your profile twice a day wondering why you ignore my winks

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

bi curious.... if there is no fanny about, I will close my eyes and you can suck me off....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

can occasionally accommodate = will sneak you in when the wife/husband/partner is at work

Loves to give prolonged oral = will poke tongue in general direction for about 30 seconds then jump up waving cock shouting "my turn"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"treat with respect.... I am hoping to go back and get a second shag...."

Ha ! That's so true !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can accomadate = married, lives at home

Genuine= really not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm one horny fucker= I hardly ever meet as too lazy (and no verifications)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

High sex drive who can last for ages - I last 15 minutes and then I'm gone

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Due to my job I can only meet in the day time = my mum wont let me out at night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Experienced Dom - I have flicked through my wife's copy of "50 shades of grey" and sure I have some tie wraps in my tool box, somewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Discreet=attached

No pictures public due to my job=attached

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By *untime biatchWoman
over a year ago

ova by ea wales

Im sitting here lmfao these are awmsum but sooo true my fav is im straight but have meet tvs or cds on profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Experienced Dom - I have flicked through my wife's copy of "50 shades of grey" and sure I have some tie wraps in my tool box, somewhere "

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

Been here before , I know the score ! Got no meets so made a new profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm bubbly - I'm insane, loud and obnoxious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been swinging a while = I've shagged loads

no age or size issues = if ya female I'll fook ya.

Been told I'm handsome, well gorgeous = the wife told me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/08/14 19:02:45]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work for myself so can meet anytime = unemployed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can accommodate....I have a transit van with a mattress in the back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't accommodate = married

Can only do during the day midweek = married

I live with my sister and her kids = married

I work weekends = married

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

"can occasionally accommodate = will sneak you in when the wife/husband/partner is at work

Loves to give prolonged oral = will poke tongue in general direction for about 30 seconds then jump up waving cock shouting "my turn""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im genuine unlike all the others....fuck it footies on and I can't be arsed to shave me arse crack and go out to meet anyone,ill watch porn and have a wank later

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Will fill this in later.

Crap in bed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we are fuckbuds.... NO SINGLE GUYS EVER EVER EVER..

she is mine and I am not letting anyone else see her, play with her because she is all mine, mine I say MINE."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha what a brilliant thread - not at all plagiarised from the one I posted 4 days ago lol.

http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/301243

I don't mind......enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm bubbly - I'm insane, loud and obnoxious "

Haha....nice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ha ha what a brilliant thread - not at all plagiarised from the one I posted 4 days ago lol.

http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/301243

I don't mind......enjoy.

Ive been here 6 yrs,ive probably posted in countless threads of the same subject

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm straight as a die = I like fabbing cock pics and winking at guys!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can accommodate - I have a nice comfy back seat in my car. Unless you have a bigger one?

Straight - but a suck from a man is better than nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"FOR ALL THE MEN OUT THERE THAT NEVER READ MY PROFILE...

Translated:

"Ignore this!"

Too true!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ha ha what a brilliant thread - not at all plagiarised from the one I posted 4 days ago lol.

http://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/301243

I don't mind......enjoy.

I don't mind - but I still mentioned it.

Honestly. I didn't see your thread so apologies

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By *oneydewukMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Willing to travel - I live in my car!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Experienced - I've shagged at least one woman so I know where to put it.

Great at oral - one trick pony

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Can only meet daytimes - the electronic tag and curfew imposed in court hasn't run its course yet, so I need to be back at base before 9pm.

Genuine - I looked it up and it sounded good

professional - I worked 5 days in a row once!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey.

Judging by all the posts on here.

I'm married

I'm a timewaster

I'm desperate

I don't answer messages

I will fuck anything with a pulse

I will only last 5 minutes

I got no hope

Fuck me I've got no hope meeting anyone ever again.

Argggg I've been found out.

Need to think about a changing my profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love women of all ages, colours, shapes and sizes...

Translated:

SOMEBODY??? ANYBODY??? HELLOOOOOO???

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I've read your profile - I wanked over your pictures.

If I say I'll meet, I will - I'll text you last minute with a 'feasible' excuse. If I rearrange I won't turn up.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I'm not here to collect notches on my bedpost = I've got an app on my phone to keep track of my number.

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By *rnortholtMan
over a year ago

Waveney Valley

Back after a break - can't manage a relationship

Always play safe - hope I've hidden the bareback pics in private

We're deeply in love - we have issues

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Very friendly =

just needs any sex +

give them sex to STFU +

disconcertingly creepy to everyone +

looks ugly except when very close up +

never, ever see them in public, God help you +

has no actual friends +

so bored wanking +

prefers to move in within the week +

needs cheaper access to clubs, posing as couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smart dressed-Primark had a sale last week

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I always smell nice = I have a bottle of something smelly somewhere if I get a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always polite and respectful = until you say no you ugly fat frigid bitch

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By *untime biatchWoman
over a year ago

ova by ea wales

"Always polite and respectful = until you say no you ugly fat frigid bitch "
ur rite there

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

See if we click = oh my God, you messaged back politely! Can we meet? Are you free tomorrow? What are you doing right now? Why haven't you got back to me when I messaged you half an hour ago and I can see you're online?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always polite and respectful = until you say no you ugly fat frigid bitch "

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Bathroom pictures = married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Curvy =fat

Hunky =fat

Athletic =fat

Voluptuous =fat

Bear =fat

Big =fat

Vwe =fat

Muscular =fat

Buxom =fat

Fit =fat

Etc etc etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

enjoys a social meet first = just in case viagra doesn't kick in immediately.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Curvy =fat

Hunky =fat

Athletic =fat

Voluptuous =fat

Bear =fat

Big =fat

Vwe =fat

Muscular =fat

Buxom =fat

Fist =fat

Etc etc etc

I say I'm fat. Does that equal fat?

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I say I'm fat. Does that equal fat?

No, you are a bear

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I say I'm fat. Does that equal fat?

No, you are a bear

Bear = fat (see above)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anyone want to translate my profile,

I don't mind a roasting

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Does anyone want to translate my profile,

I don't mind a roasting

Things I like...

Women I like (but not set in stone) = I'll also shag women I don't like.

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By *a-ra-ra-boom-de-ayCouple
over a year ago

Wish it was the Algarve! Aberdeenshire

We wont meet single males: So my husband thinks.

Men stop messasing me I'm not bi: I'm starting to like it.

Looking for quality not quantity: Is there any good looking people on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone want to translate my profile,

I don't mind a roasting

"I like to chat and get to know people before meeting but I wont always start/continue a conversation so keep chatting to me

"-im too good for you, but keep at it and I might come around after a few drinks.

" If it doesn't go any further then a social, A night out, Chatting, Female company, I will still have enjoyed myself and hopefully you will have too." - please go out with me. I have no friends and really want to have the girlfriend experience.

"Things i like,Oral (both)"- cock or pussy, I'm not fussy.

"(but like my age range its not set in stone)"- like I said, I'm not fussy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

slim - can hide behind lamp posts

shit. ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone want to translate my profile,

I don't mind a roasting

"I like to chat and get to know people before meeting but I wont always start/continue a conversation so keep chatting to me

"-im too good for you, but keep at it and I might come around after a few drinks.

"Things i like,Oral (both)"- cock or pussy, I'm not fussy.

"(but like my age range its not set in stone)"- like I said, I'm not fussy.

xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone want to translate my profile,

I don't mind a roasting

Things I like...

Women I like (but not set in stone) = I'll also shag women I don't like."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blank Avatar Pic= Crimewatch

Bilko Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy with the fab friends I've already made. Not looking to meet anyone else.

Translation:

I have no friends of any sort off fabswingers, not even the fab friends whose numbers I now have in my phone. Please bend over while I blow smoke up your ass!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking for a f/b or fwb

I'll pester you til you give in

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Never any good at filling in these things (profiles) =

I've so many profiles I've lost count - never any success, but now trying desperately to draw anyone in with mystery. No imagination or attractive.

---------------------------------------

Share a house with mates, can't accom =

married, in a religious order, doesn't live where claimed, in an open prison, sectioned under MHA, lives in squalor or featured on recent extreme hoarders, in an isolation infection ward unit, hated by neighbours so your life is in danger if you visited and already has dangerous reputation that locals would shout abuse for and frightened it would get known on fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Convincing TV,, I really look like a hairy arsed lorry driver

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See if we click = oh my God, you messaged back politely! Can we meet? Are you free tomorrow? What are you doing right now? Why haven't you got back to me when I messaged you half an hour ago and I can see you're online?"

Haha.....

Want no strings fun - As long as it's just me.....any other guys and you can fuck off you slag!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"slim - can hide behind lamp posts

shit. ...."

Fat but in denial

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couple who only meet women = husband likes his fantasy but not hers and scared by the competition

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Very high sex drive = send user photos so that they can wank some more

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