FabSwingers.com forum: Solitude...

By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I've been thinking about this for a couple of days now... the one thing that I couldn't give up in a grown up relationship is my alone time. Quality time by myself. It's a must have for me.

I'm not sure how normal I am in that respect but I like spending time alone. Quite a lot of it. I think I'm quite lucky in that I have a lot of free time that's mine to do whatever I please. I'm sure many people don't have that luxury.

I can be a social butterfly, I have a lot of friends but really I'm quite happy to be on my own and they seem to find it odd sometimes that I'd rather have a weekend alone than be in company.

There are a lot of things that I love to do alone, from going to the cinema to going on holiday and I wouldn't want to change that. I've found that having someone in my life 24/7 is just plain weird. I don't want to live in someone else's pocket and I don't want them living in mine.

How much time do you spend alone? Do you want to spend more time by yourself or are you happy to be surrounded by people all the time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I spend most of my time alone and I love it. There is no substiture for having someone special to share you life with but I appreciate my time to just collect my thoughts and do as I wish. More and more relationships seem to be based around this arrangement over the more traditional setup.

As an aside, 2 years single today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been thinking about this for a couple of days now... the one thing that I couldn't give up in a grown up relationship is my alone time. Quality time by myself. It's a must have for me.

I can be a social butterfly, I have a lot of friends but really I'm quite happy to be on my own and they seem to find it odd sometimes that I'd rather have a weekend alone than be in company.

How much time do you spend alone? Do you want to spend more time by yourself or are you happy to be surrounded by people all the time?

Phew! I thought is was just me!

I like my solitude. Though I love going out and company, Sometimes I like to chill with my thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As little time as possible... I hate it... Need company or I go mad... Realize that more now when my ex takes the kids for a couple of days... Im straight on here or finding friends I can catch up with... I would even take extra shifts at work just so Im not on my own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't get me wrong. I adore spending quality time with my kids but I also look forward to when they're in bed/at school so I can spend time, quietly, by myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm alone a lot . Stuck in when kids in bed etc . As soon as they are at their dads I'm desperate to get out !!!

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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago

A seaside town near you!

I enjoy and need my 'me time'. I think thats why I struggle to be in a relationship...if I'm knackered after a long drive and just want to go home and put my pi's on and chill I can do that without having to consider anyone else. On the opposite side I also like to spend quality time with someone but I can only do that when I've had my 'me time'. Hard work aren't I

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the same, love spending time with my kids , family , friends etc. However I like my own company. I'm perfectly happy on my own in the house, going for walks, long bike rides and shopping on my own. I think if you can be happy in your own company - that's a good place to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm the same, love spending time with my kids , family , friends etc. However I like my own company. I'm perfectly happy on my own in the house, going for walks, long bike rides and shopping on my own. I think if you can be happy in your own company - that's a good place to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Introspection in solitude can be very enriching. Confronting self denial, seeking worthiness of ones existence, contemplating the impact of ones ego on others. If one can be content in ones own company, one will never fear loneliness. Creativity stems from within.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need time alone as well as together. Fortunately I am self-employed working from home. Ao I spend a lot of time alone. However quality time together is also really important for me too. So my ideal relationship is one where we are alone together

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Trouble is... I quite like alone time at work. I get much more done when I'm in by myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/08/14 15:10:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Trouble is... I quite like alone time at work. I get much more done when I'm in by myself.

Couldn't work with you...wouldn't get anything done.....workwise that is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Trouble is... I quite like alone time at work. I get much more done when I'm in by myself.

I tend to slowly integrate weaing headphones as an office norm at a pace that doesn't seem unsociable/unacceptable until I wear them all day.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Trouble is... I quite like alone time at work. I get much more done when I'm in by myself.

I tend to slowly integrate weaing headphones as an office norm at a pace that doesn't seem unsociable/unacceptable until I wear them all day.

Yeah I wear my headphones at work too... radio or TV depending on what I'm doing. Just at my desk though... someone is bound to say something if I wandered round with them in my ears.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

mixing with human beings all of the time....... good lord no.

they irritate me

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

best bit about being single

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need my alone time whuch is usually on the bike or running or to a lesser extent the gym where I alway wear headphones.

At times I find socialising totalling draining, we've been away with friends last week and by the end of it I had had enough.

I love it when crystal goes away and I'm home alone. I've just brought 2 books and my first thought was when I have I got a weekend at home to enjoy not speaking to anyone and enjoying them!

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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Most of my alone time is when driving for work.

*except when using the crapper of course!

But if I want some solitude I just go in the garden for a cuppa and a cig or take the woofer out. She doesn't talk much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me too, I have moments of loneliness but know that too long in company can do my head in and just want some alone time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I absolutely hate it I love being around people. Not even talking just knowing someone else is there.

I'm on my own today and I'm enjoying relaxing and slobbing but I still have my doggy for company. Paul won't be home till late so it makes me excited for him coming home

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Paul Weller sang in "that's Entertainment".,, "2 lovers missing the tranquility of solitude"....., you're not alone

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I was just about to write a thread about solitude and thought I'd be smart and see if someone had done one before.

I've not seen nor spoken to a soul all weekend. Except the cat. Nothing has changed in more than a year... apart from half the buggers in this thread have disappeared!

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

"I was just about to write a thread about solitude and thought I'd be smart and see if someone had done one before.

I've not seen nor spoken to a soul all weekend. Except the cat. Nothing has changed in more than a year... apart from half the buggers in this thread have disappeared!

It's taken me a long time to get used to being completely alone but I now love it!!! Just wish I could have more of it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I was just about to write a thread about solitude and thought I'd be smart and see if someone had done one before.

I've not seen nor spoken to a soul all weekend. Except the cat. Nothing has changed in more than a year... apart from half the buggers in this thread have disappeared!

They obviously wanted some solitude

I'm not trying to persuade you that a live in relationship is the way forward but solitude is entirely possible within one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big on Solitude here, love being in natural surroundings alone, get deep feelings. Have you heard of Robert Forbes Perkins, he does a lot on solitude, spends time alone in Arctic Canada, canoeing the rivers. I think everybody needs that time, but they don't realise it.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I was just about to write a thread about solitude and thought I'd be smart and see if someone had done one before.

I've not seen nor spoken to a soul all weekend. Except the cat. Nothing has changed in more than a year... apart from half the buggers in this thread have disappeared!

They obviously wanted some solitude

I'm not trying to persuade you that a live in relationship is the way forward but solitude is entirely possible within one. "

Yeah I think a year later I can appreciate that, if you're in a relationship with the right person. I'm just not sure he's out there.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

That's why I love my relationship, I bloody love living on my own, most nights I just in here in silence with the cats.

I love my time with jay, I love seeing my friends and family, I just like being on my own as well

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By *ittle Pocket PerveWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I don't have the luxury of a lot of free time, but when I do, I like to spend some of it on my own doing my own thing, I wouldn't like to give it up now.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I was just about to write a thread about solitude and thought I'd be smart and see if someone had done one before.

I've not seen nor spoken to a soul all weekend. Except the cat. Nothing has changed in more than a year... apart from half the buggers in this thread have disappeared!

They obviously wanted some solitude

I'm not trying to persuade you that a live in relationship is the way forward but solitude is entirely possible within one.

Yeah I think a year later I can appreciate that, if you're in a relationship with the right person. I'm just not sure he's out there. "

Many ways of living our lives and live in relationships are only one

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I was just about to write a thread about solitude and thought I'd be smart and see if someone had done one before.

I've not seen nor spoken to a soul all weekend. Except the cat. Nothing has changed in more than a year... apart from half the buggers in this thread have disappeared!

They obviously wanted some solitude

I'm not trying to persuade you that a live in relationship is the way forward but solitude is entirely possible within one.

Yeah I think a year later I can appreciate that, if you're in a relationship with the right person. I'm just not sure he's out there.

Many ways of living our lives and live in relationships are only one

Haha... someone who lives in his own house next door would be perfect!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I love being alone with a horse best. There are no need for words, the lack of speech is tranquil, and yet one can be deeply connected, and partaking in great mutual awareness and sensitivity. Bliss!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like my alone time and an element of independence, thankfully my husband does too so I've always managed well while living with him. When I've lived with friends, or family when I was older, I really struggled having people around trying to talk to me all the time and wanting to do stuff all the time. Especially when I come in from work, I need that hour or so to just wind down, not talk to anyone and relax.

That said, if I lived alone I think I'd probably take it too far and spend all my free time watching Netflix in my pants.

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

That said, if I lived alone I think I'd probably take it too far and spend all my free time watching Netflix in my pants."

Can you see me?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/09/15 23:10:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm generally an unsociable bugger (sociable on my own terms) so I need a fair bit of alone time too.

That said, when I did live with a partner I was absolutely fine and even enjoyed it - it's about balance and you generally get that with someone you fit well with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That said, if I lived alone I think I'd probably take it too far and spend all my free time watching Netflix in my pants.

Can you see me?!

is there ice cream?

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

That said, if I lived alone I think I'd probably take it too far and spend all my free time watching Netflix in my pants.

Can you see me?!

is there ice cream?"

There was...

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I'm generally an unsociable bugger (sociable on my own terms) so I need a fair bit of alone time too.

That said, when I did live with a partner I was absolutely fine and even enjoyed it - it's about balance and you generally get that with someone you fit well with."

I think that's right. I'm just really content in my own company. I think I may have lived alone too long. I need to cancel Netflix!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm often too sociable. Marc is the opposite. When we moved in together I had to learn how to leave him alone.

Now that we've established time alone, we value our time together even more.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me time is really important and anyone who needs it should have it , I love my me time it helps me to recharge extra

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That said, if I lived alone I think I'd probably take it too far and spend all my free time watching Netflix in my pants.

Can you see me?!

is there ice cream?

There was...

That would most definitely be me. (To be honest, that's me a lot of the time anyway and I don't live alone!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cherish my alone time probably because it's very limited.

I'm not sure how I will feel when this changes & I have unlimited free time, I'll probably surround myself with puppies & talk to them instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cherish my alone time probably because it's very limited.

I'm not sure how I will feel when this changes & I have unlimited free time, I'll probably surround myself with puppies & talk to them instead

Why wait? Get puppies now

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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I cherish my alone time probably because it's very limited.

I'm not sure how I will feel when this changes & I have unlimited free time, I'll probably surround myself with puppies & talk to them instead

Why wait? Get puppies now

Agree... I think I'm quite happy talking to my cat!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cherish my alone time probably because it's very limited.

I'm not sure how I will feel when this changes & I have unlimited free time, I'll probably surround myself with puppies & talk to them instead

Why wait? Get puppies now

Agree... I think I'm quite happy talking to my cat!

I want a puppy and am working on a way to have one....

It involves either changing jobs or reconstruction of the kitchen area

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

Was just talking to my friend about this today. She lives with her kids and dad and I live with my son who is hardly here. I can go the whole weekend without speaking to a soul. I come home from work and won't speak to anyone til the following day. It can be soul destroying. I have so many decisions to make regarding my future and I have no one to talk to and see through these decisions and reassure me I am doing the right thing. I don't seek approval, just a reprieve from all my silent thoughts.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

All my time is mine and I ADORE it. I choose what, when, how and who with. Occasionally, I can go so long without talking, when I do, my voice is croaky.

Almost 30 years single and no regrets.

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