FabSwingers.com forum: Do people really read long profiles?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Well they read mine

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth. "
Who told you that?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well they read mine"

But do they or do they say they do I have had a few say they just give lip service maybe I am too cynical.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth. Who told you that?"

A couple of guys I have been talking to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth. "
Everyones different some will some wont

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Well they read mine

But do they or do they say they do I have had a few say they just give lip service maybe I am too cynical. "
yes because they quote things from my profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth. "

no,,i found yours way too long..only kidding I didn't read it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's funny and engaging I'll read every word, sometimes more than once if it captivates me. If it's ranty and aggressive I've moved on after the first glance

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Use it as a filtering mechanism. If it is obvious that they haven't been arsed to read it, then just delete the mail. You'll get plenty of mail as it is, so will possibly welcome the reduction

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

London.

Well whoever told you is either BS you or is a lazy git who is probably not worth meeting if they can't even read a profile, surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't read long profile.. 4 lines of text is long enough lol

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Mine is giant. The odd one or two read it. I like the odd ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine is giant. The odd one or two read it. I like the odd ones.

I liked yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth. "

Your profile isn't long. If anyone says yours is too long .. crikey ..

Lots of people will just look at the pics, get horny and mail you. They will have no idea there is any text on your profile.

Trust your instincts- if it sounds like they didn't read it or are disrespectful in any way.... do you really want to meet someone like that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends if they get distracted by boobie pics

The real question is, do women bother looking or just assume us blokes only write one line?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth.

no,,i found yours way too long..only kidding I didn't read it"

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

You can tell if someone hasn't read your profile. They ask what you're into or mention they are into something which you say is a no no.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Mine is giant. The odd one or two read it. I like the odd ones.

I liked yours

I rest my case!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So will some won't its just a fab's fact of life I'm afraid.

I know a few people slip in a key word for them to have on there messages so they can see you have read and understood the profile.

Good luck I hope it improved for you here

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Couldn't get past the pics myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally wouldn't class DiamondSmiles or DirtyGirls profiles as long.

I mean they have length to them lol, but that's the good kind because it's painting a picture of what you like and who you are.

Much better and interesting than people who write about 2 lines and say 'message me to find out more' or 'fill this in later'.

The ones I skip are usually the profiles which go on for about 3 or 4 pages worth and contain about 8000+ words. Usually these are ones that complain a lot or have a laundry list of demands and things they hate.

Maybe it's just me but I don't think those people would be very nice to chat to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, Petite Exhibitionists, your profile isn't long at all.

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

"I personally wouldn't class DiamondSmiles or DirtyGirls profiles as long.

I mean they have length to them lol, but that's the good kind because it's painting a picture of what you like and who you are.

Much better and interesting than people who write about 2 lines and say 'message me to find out more' or 'fill this in later'.

Maybe it's just me but I don't think those people would be very nice to chat to."

Agree with all of this - well put.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I personally wouldn't class DiamondSmiles or DirtyGirls profiles as long.

I mean they have length to them lol, but that's the good kind because it's painting a picture of what you like and who you are.

Much better and interesting than people who write about 2 lines and say 'message me to find out more' or 'fill this in later'.

Maybe it's just me but I don't think those people would be very nice to chat to."
I totally agree with you there.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Mines war and peace, do I care an not really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always say I read! Speed read usually then straight to the pictures! Bish bash bosh!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"I personally wouldn't class DiamondSmiles or DirtyGirls profiles as long.

I mean they have length to them lol, but that's the good kind because it's painting a picture of what you like and who you are.

Much better and interesting than people who write about 2 lines and say 'message me to find out more' or 'fill this in later'.

Maybe it's just me but I don't think those people would be very nice to chat to."
thank you, I put time and effort into my profile and of cause I get those that don't read it but I get a good percentage that do, and I don't get negative messages either

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I always say I read! Speed read usually then straight to the pictures! Bish bash bosh!

I've never read your profile I've headed straight for the pictures

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It isn't quantity, it's quality," or, at least that's what my ex's lied to me!

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I personally wouldn't class DiamondSmiles or DirtyGirls profiles as long.

I mean they have length to them lol, but that's the good kind because it's painting a picture of what you like and who you are.

Much better and interesting than people who write about 2 lines and say 'message me to find out more' or 'fill this in later'.

Maybe it's just me but I don't think those people would be very nice to chat to."

Cheers... I like to waffle. People who haven't read it make themselves known pretty fast.

It's been suggested that someone will read my profile after I've told them whether I'm interested or not. Really?

Good luck I say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always find the idea of not reading profiles rather counterproductive. Then again, people don't seem to remember that there is a person attached to the sex they crave. A person with interests, disinterests, wit, (a lack of) personality (in some instances, lol) and nuances that can come up in a potential exchange.

To the OP, and those with a perceived long profile, I say make them as long as you like. I have with mine. Those who are not worth engaging with, especially those you don't already know, will likely be the ones who have raised this or will expose themselves when they try to message.

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By *enny PR9TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport

"Mine is giant. The odd one or two read it. I like the odd ones.

No yours is lovely and short

Now mine is long. 5769 words long to be precise if you include the verification. But I do include a guaranteed shag to those of you who make it to the end.

Jenny xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*drifted from the OP somewhat .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i like a long profile as long as its about the person not just a list of DON'TS it gives me something to actually write about in a message. with a short/non informative profile there's not much you can message beyond that you want to shag them lol.

mine however i think has gotten too long and needs some work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always read all the profile to see if am interested in them or to see if they would be interested in me, Including their verifications,

A bit pointless contacting them otherwise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well. I normally look if you can accom & will meet smokers, if yes then I'll read your profile in full & see if we have the same interests, then pluck up the courage to message you/someone.

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By *arkwolf66Woman
over a year ago

Horsham,

If they don't bother to read the profile then it's their loss, because I always know and it's the first strike with me, those that do generally find me a lot more congenial

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always read all the profile to see if am interested in them or to see if they would be interested in me, Including their verifications,

A bit pointless contacting them otherwise

Co-Signed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the attention span of a goldfish. A couple of paragraphs is enough. Or even one line,or I'll fill this in later. I'm not marking GCSE papers;I'm looking for a fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite like your profile text, pictures are OK but not sure about those dodgy curtains though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth. "

apparently long profiles are too boring, well if you wanna meet someone then read it, if you cba reading one then no cba meeting that person, thats how i look at it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth.

apparently long profiles are too boring, well if you wanna meet someone then read it, if you cba reading one then no cba meeting that person, thats how i look at it"

The merits of reading profiles. Case in point, the profile of this lady. Very clear and unequivocal plus there's something very nice and worthwhile in there.

But I wonder how many people have still gone for the proposition message?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth.

apparently long profiles are too boring, well if you wanna meet someone then read it, if you cba reading one then no cba meeting that person, thats how i look at it

The merits of reading profiles. Case in point, the profile of this lady. Very clear and unequivocal plus there's something very nice and worthwhile in there.

But I wonder how many people have still gone for the proposition message?

lots do shes even had some say they'd only donate if she met them :/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth.

apparently long profiles are too boring, well if you wanna meet someone then read it, if you cba reading one then no cba meeting that person, thats how i look at it

The merits of reading profiles. Case in point, the profile of this lady. Very clear and unequivocal plus there's something very nice and worthwhile in there.

But I wonder how many people have still gone for the proposition message?

thousands -.-

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth.

apparently long profiles are too boring, well if you wanna meet someone then read it, if you cba reading one then no cba meeting that person, thats how i look at it

The merits of reading profiles. Case in point, the profile of this lady. Very clear and unequivocal plus there's something very nice and worthwhile in there.

But I wonder how many people have still gone for the proposition message?

lots do shes even had some say they'd only donate if she met them :/"

yep, shaving my head is much more important than a shag, if they'd of said that to my face I'd of drop kicked em lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get bored.

Looking at pictures of tits is far more fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get bored.

Looking at pictures of tits is far more fun."

and cocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get bored.

Looking at pictures of tits is far more fun."

But, sadly, even pictures of tits become boring......

Why do woman always have to show their tits, asses & cunts in profile pics, - I've seen them all before ffs!!!

*hides in corner wearing crash helmet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get bored.

Looking at pictures of tits is far more fun.

But, sadly, even pictures of tits become boring......

Why do woman always have to show their tits, asses & cunts in profile pics, - I've seen them all before ffs!!!

*hides in corner wearing crash helmet

I know right? It's disgraceful.

All I want to is read a meaningful long profile....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get bored.

Looking at pictures of tits is far more fun.

But, sadly, even pictures of tits become boring......

Why do woman always have to show their tits, asses & cunts in profile pics, - I've seen them all before ffs!!!

*hides in corner wearing crash helmet

I know right? It's disgraceful.

All I want to is read a meaningful long profile...."

Which you wank over obviously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get bored.

Looking at pictures of tits is far more fun.

But, sadly, even pictures of tits become boring......

Why do woman always have to show their tits, asses & cunts in profile pics, - I've seen them all before ffs!!!

*hides in corner wearing crash helmet

I know right? It's disgraceful.

All I want to is read a meaningful long profile...."

Yeah, I'm particularly partial to the ones that give you that awesome - just staggered out of A&E at 6am - feeling; thwoooooaaaaar, that really turns me on, - I sssssoooooooooo love an assertive woman!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

THOSE BASTARDS.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get bored.

Looking at pictures of tits is far more fun.

But, sadly, even pictures of tits become boring......

Why do woman always have to show their tits, asses & cunts in profile pics, - I've seen them all before ffs!!!

*hides in corner wearing crash helmet

I know right? It's disgraceful.

All I want to is read a meaningful long profile....

Which you wank over obviously "

Of course. I'm wanking over this comment right now.

It would probably be easier for me to just tell everyone when I'm not wanking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have this vision...........

It's an old hotel bar, Raffalls maybe - or it in Morocco? - anyway, it dimly lit & there's this goddess sitting at the end of the bar in a short, tight dress & sucking on a cigarette holder.......

I approach her, slide a fingertip slowly up & down her stockinged thigh & she smiles at me, provocatively & says:

"I HATE GUYS WHO CALL ME BABE, I DETEST THOSE WHO WINK, I SPIT BACK AT GUYS WHO HAVE CUMSHOTS IN THEIR PICS OR SPRAY BACK IF THEY USE A LINX CAN FOR SCALE AND I SPEW AT THOSE WHO WANT ME TO SWALLOW!!!

CAN'T ACCOMMODATE OR TRAVEL BUT YOU CAN PAY FOR A DOUBLE ROOM IF YOU LIKE...........

sssssoooooooooo romantic!!!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Long profiles work like the Da Vinci Code. By reading and deciphering you get to the holy grail - bi single females, unicorns (which do exist!) etc. The ones who dont read it all just send a fancy a fuck type message, so easily blocked. You can usually tell who's interested in the depth to oneself. Id prefer to keep my profile the way it reflects and suits me, and recommend that for you. You can always do some headlines, for the attention demanded users, or add key words to photos - an open vag shot with your message for example.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had similar when I was meeting new people and got quite snotty comments from guys. To be fair though they don't read the short version as it is now and get weekly messages and random friendship requests so you cannot win either way

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By *arehamMan
over a year ago

handforth

Never read the long one's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have this vision...........

It's an old hotel bar, Raffalls maybe - or it in Morocco? - anyway, it dimly lit & there's this goddess sitting at the end of the bar in a short, tight dress & sucking on a cigarette holder.......

I approach her, slide a fingertip slowly up & down her stockinged thigh & she smiles at me, provocatively & says:

CAN'T ACCOMMODATE OR TRAVEL BUT YOU CAN PAY FOR A DOUBLE ROOM IF YOU LIKE...........

sssssoooooooooo romantic!!!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Mine is about the length of the average Sun article. If anyone finds it too much to read then they really aren't compatible.

It works as an additional filter. Anyone who complains that it is too long gets no further with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth. Who told you that?

A couple of guys I have been talking to. "

If they can't be bothered to even give 2 minutes to read your profile are they really worth meeting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the first paragraph of a long profile doesn't draw me in then I stop reading and click off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth. "

No!! I don't like war and peace for profiles nor negative profiles. But your profile is great.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Use it as a filtering mechanism. If it is obvious that they haven't been arsed to read it, then just delete the mail. You'll get plenty of mail as it is, so will possibly welcome the reduction

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I like a long profile if it tells me something about a person. It helps me decide if I should message or reply to them as an early indicator that there may be some common ground. I've now read most of the profiles in this thread and there is much to like. As for a profile taking too long to read; if someone can't be arsed to take the time to read what I've written about who I am and what I may want then I will return the lack of courtesy by not replying to an unsolicited message where it's clear they haven't read it. I will read their profile however.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I have this vision...........

It's an old hotel bar, Raffalls maybe - or it in Morocco? - anyway, it dimly lit & there's this goddess sitting at the end of the bar in a short, tight dress & sucking on a cigarette holder.......

I approach her, slide a fingertip slowly up & down her stockinged thigh & she smiles at me, provocatively & says:

CAN'T ACCOMMODATE OR TRAVEL BUT YOU CAN PAY FOR A DOUBLE ROOM IF YOU LIKE...........

sssssoooooooooo romantic!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do read them, but perfer things to be clear and concise. I get lost when things go round in circles.

Alot of the really long ones seem to be the most negative which dont interest me anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only ones I don't read are the ones where they have created a picture using text characters (a curvaceous lady etc), but I don't then send a message either. All other profiles I read, compose a message, for that profile, send and move on. It's always a nice surprise to have a reply, but not devastating when you look back through your sent and see a delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally dislike short profiles. I'd like to know a little about someone before I decide to message them.

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By *octor DeleriumMan
over a year ago

Wellingborough

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth. "

Then they are not the people that I would not want to meet with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they're crazy long, then no. I can't maintain that level of attention. I go for minimal anyway, it works just fine.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Some do some dont ,

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Good god no... It would be minutes that I will never get back

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Why do any of us put anything in a profile, other than we may want to fuck etc? It helps narrow things down, filter out the dross and incompatible and helps save time. Alot of users get inundated with dross messages, so anything to avoid them can help.

If people write a descriptive profile, it's because it's important to them and conversely the reader. The author values their time and the readers - no-one wants someone to turn-up and then reject them, so all done before that to ensure it all flows smoothly is a good investment.

Those who have no or minimal real interest in diving into a hole, impaling themselves on a pole etc won't match many of us on here, as they're potentially going to leave us unfulfilled. There's nothing worse than a meet that leaves one uncomfortable and still not satisfied.

I probably haven't read a profile that's too long, but have read some that have really helped me to realise that they may be fantastic but we wouldn't be using our time that productively if we did meet. A bonus all round.

Fab is full of individuals, so we need to expect that profiles will reflect that. Some of us learn through trial and error how to craft our profile so that it works best for us, and that is better than sticking to a rigid formula. vive la difference.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I will only read a long profile if it is funny.

Any that start with RANTING CAPS I don't bother with at all.

Those that are a long list of DON'T I ignore.

Those that start with we are a hot, sexy, beautiful up our own arse couple I think meh.

But other than that I'm easy

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By *hameleons69Woman
over a year ago

good ship lollipop

We ramble..... Never been a problem or perhaps just never noticed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally dislike short profiles. I'd like to know a little about someone before I decide to message them."

I wish everyone was like you!

I still get mail. Fuck knows why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My profile used to be quite long. Never sure if it puts people off or not.

Need to put my thinking caps on and start meeting again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well they read mine"
I got bored after the fist few lines.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good god no... It would be minutes that I will never get back"

Exactly - people should think the same before they write them too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well whoever told you is either BS you or is a lazy git who is probably not worth meeting if they can't even read a profile, surely?

"
We are on here to fuck, not to read war and peace. Keep it short.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Well whoever told you is either BS you or is a lazy git who is probably not worth meeting if they can't even read a profile, surely?

We are on here to fuck, not to read war and peace. Keep it short."

We all fuck differently though. I don't want short!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put all the useful stuff in the PSs, PSSs and PSSSs. People seem to read the beginning and the end. So I just put critical things at the end x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hell no. I just do keyword searches on long profiles. That helps me make a decision on whether to message or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I personally wouldn't class DiamondSmiles or DirtyGirls profiles as long.

I mean they have length to them lol, but that's the good kind because it's painting a picture of what you like and who you are.

Much better and interesting than people who write about 2 lines and say 'message me to find out more' or 'fill this in later'.

Maybe it's just me but I don't think those people would be very nice to chat to.

Agree with all of this - well put.

"
Me too. Will tell you when i read it.

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By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

"Well they read mine

But do they or do they say they do I have had a few say they just give lip service maybe I am too cynical. yes because they quote things from my profile"

and there's a hidden message in mine

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By *preadMyWingsWoman
over a year ago

London

Depends on the pictures, if they interest me then they are worth reading

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mine is giant. The odd one or two read it. I like the odd ones.

I liked yours too will have to redo mine x

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth. "

Well as you blocked me for being a Gold member I cannot read it anyway.

You just block every Gold or Silver members profile anyway so it matters not what they compose.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Short or long,, If it interests and engages me I ll read it, would think mine is bigger than most. It might put some off i think it reflects me.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

if im really interested or for a laugh .. i get bored with long lists of what they are not into usually dont go past the age ... to 55 only stage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth.

Well as you blocked me for being a Gold member I cannot read it anyway.

You just block every Gold or Silver members profile anyway so it matters not what they compose.

She hasn't blocked gold and silver supporters. Must be just you.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth.

Well as you blocked me for being a Gold member I cannot read it anyway.

You just block every Gold or Silver members profile anyway so it matters not what they compose.

She hasn't blocked gold and silver supporters. Must be just you."

Have the messages in my box somewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The length of a profile is just as important as the content, I will always "skip to the end" first just to gauge the length as it were, if there's to much scrolling, the word "dull" pops into my head and I move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will read it all if its coherent, not a long list of dos and donts. And maybe is a bit less 'generic'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I never read long profiles but then I'm a private person hence mine is quite succinct. I prefer to impart more about me and find out more about somebody I am interested in on a one to one basis.

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By *aster n subCouple
over a year ago

pickering

I always read profiles the longer the better it gives you a good insight into the person and what they are after.

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By *rnortholtMan
over a year ago

Waveney Valley

"I am asking because I have been told it's a waste of time if it's too long because anything you want to get across will get lost and people only read half a screens worth. "

Nice pictures...does that answer your question?

Seriously as a man with a long one...I think it depends on the people. If you write a good profile seeking people who are prepared to put in the effort then they're the ones you should find approach you.

One thing I would say is the long rants about we hate this and that...I want this that and the other...and if you don't read my profile, send me a face pic on first approach along with a bottle of wine, then I'll nuke your house and piddle on your grave tend not to be a hit in this parish!

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