FabSwingers.com forum: Depression and treatment

By *hole Lotta Rosie OP Woman
over a year ago

Deviant City

Since the sad suicide of Robin Williams, I have come across people (mainly on facebook and newspaper articles), urging people to get help for depression and talk to people.

Do these people not understand how difficult it can be to be seen by a decent therapist? The waiting lists can be 2 years plus and the Priory charge extortionate prices, so unless you remortgage your house, or are a celebrity, you don't have much choice, other than to wait for an appointment through the NHS.

Also, not everyone have friends and family to speak to. Many will find them unsympathetic if they do have someone to open up to and this can make you worse.

If you do know anyone suffering with depression, the simplest of things can often brighten their day, such as a text or a phone call.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found (through personal experience) depression is more of a state of mind than anything else.

There were days when I'd just not wanna do anything. People tries to reach out and I shut them out. You start looking at the world as if everyone and everything is against you.

Pills May help, depending on the person and how bad the case is.

I found writing to be very good and relaxing. I wrote down everything I hated/disliked/wanted to change. That kept my brain occupied on other things so I didn't feel sorry for myself so much.

At that time I was in a relationship, and sex was THE WORST thing for it. Got to the point where I lied about various things to not do it, because I felt helpless and almost "naked". I didn't want my partner at the time to see me in that light.

All in all, I agree that people should reach out.It's like an addition . You have to tell yourself "ok, I have a problem, how do I solve it?" Problem is, most depressed people are in denial.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I agree fully. There is a lot of ignorance. Knowing that youre important to others is a big thing. The good thing in the private sector is that some therapists charge according to means. Waiting lists are generally very long for nhs help.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Read the Mary Hamilton piece "Don't kill your readers" on the Guardian web-site.

I mentioned it on the A list thread.

Getting on the list is a start. There are some local charities that provide emergency support and let's not forget the Samaritans.

Mental health services have been underfunded and people complain about over-prescribing of antidepressants but until there is as much outcry for mental health services as there is for cancer care it will remain a Cinderella service.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Some areas now have mental health practitioners who you go and see like a normal doctors appointment until your appointments come through

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great post! Unfortunately I think people are too busy to care. That's from personal experience. People have their own shit to deal with, and it's not til

Something happens they regret not doing anything, and then fall back into old routine til it happens again. It's a shitty circle! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The concern over mental health is why the last government started the IAPT initiative, unfortunately the current government decided not to continue the funding probably because they didn't think of it. So, if in 2009 the government said they needed an estimated 10,000 extra therapists how many do they need now after all the cuts?

There are private therapists who don't charge the earth but it is still going cost to go that route.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Great post! Unfortunately I think people are too busy to care. That's from personal experience. People have their own shit to deal with, and it's not til

Something happens they regret not doing anything, and then fall back into old routine til it happens again. It's a shitty circle! X"

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By *hole Lotta Rosie OP Woman
over a year ago

Deviant City

"I found (through personal experience) depression is more of a state of mind than anything else.

There were days when I'd just not wanna do anything. People tries to reach out and I shut them out. You start looking at the world as if everyone and everything is against you.

Pills May help, depending on the person and how bad the case is.

I found writing to be very good and relaxing. I wrote down everything I hated/disliked/wanted to change. That kept my brain occupied on other things so I didn't feel sorry for myself so much.

All in all, I agree that people should reach out.It's like an addition . You have to tell yourself "ok, I have a problem, how do I solve it?" Problem is, most depressed people are in denial. "

thanks for sharing your experience x

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By *aul.J.JMan
over a year ago

Sedgley

I suffer from depression and the doctors sent me to a mental health worker who in turn sent me on workshops which help me recognise the trigger points. That was 2 years ago and 7 months off work. It came back in May but I knew the trigger points and I know how to deal with things better

friends are the most important thing just someone to listen to you. My mate thought it was a joke until I told him about it then he looked into it more and realised hey this is a pretty bad place I'm in. His words were we lost you there mate.

Thing is I've got it under control at the moment but it can come back anytime.

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By *hole Lotta Rosie OP Woman
over a year ago

Deviant City

"Read the Mary Hamilton piece "Don't kill your readers" on the Guardian web-site.

I mentioned it on the A list thread.

Getting on the list is a start. There are some local charities that provide emergency support and let's not forget the Samaritans.

thanks Lickety, I'll have a read.

I don't think there will ever be such an outcry for mental health services, due to the stigma, embarrassment and judging by others. Such a pity really x

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By *aul.J.JMan
over a year ago

Sedgley

"Read the Mary Hamilton piece "Don't kill your readers" on the Guardian web-site.

I mentioned it on the A list thread.

Getting on the list is a start. There are some local charities that provide emergency support and let's not forget the Samaritans.

thanks Lickety, I'll have a read.

I don't think there will ever be such an outcry for mental health services, due to the stigma, embarrassment and judging by others. Such a pity really x"

Agree there is a stigma attached unfortunately which causes people not to get the help they need

Thing is I am not ashamed of it I don't care what people think. It takes a brave person to admit they have a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been trying for the best part of a year to get some help for my depression, the only thing I've got from the doctors is a suggestion I lose weight and have time off work. Ooo and a questionnaire. I'm self employed in a very low paid industry so time off just isn't going to happen another losing weight bit is do able but bloody hard when your using foodies a crutch. I've been at my wits end forbade long time but I don't know what to do. It's seems if your able to keep on going then in the nhs's eyes there's nothing wrong with you. Inbound sucks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish i could predict my depression better. I know a lot of my ptsd trigger points, and i know that stress causes depressive episodes but I've not been given stress management or depression management. I referred, again, for counseling nearly a year ago and I'm still waiting on an appointment after being passed from department to department as they 'couldn't offer me appropriate treatment'. Drug therapy didn't do anything positive. I existed in a brain fog. I still got the depressive episodes and they seemed to be even deeper and harder to climb out of, irrespective of which drug or dosage i was on. Mental illness is underfunded and it's not going to get better until its better understood, treated, and supported.

I personally don't like taking to friends or family about my depression because i feel like its a burden to them, and one that they neither need nor ask for. It's a very isolating condition, and yet so many of us feel the need to hide it and fake feeling normal either so we don't worry people who care about us, or in hope that if we fake it long enough it'll be true, or both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it could be my bloody predictive text causing my depression!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been trying for the best part of a year to get some help for my depression, the only thing I've got from the doctors is a suggestion I lose weight and have time off work. Ooo and a questionnaire. I'm self employed in a very low paid industry so time off just isn't going to happen another losing weight bit is do able but bloody hard when your using foodies a crutch. I've been at my wits end forbade long time but I don't know what to do. It's seems if your able to keep on going then in the nhs's eyes there's nothing wrong with you. Inbound sucks"

Go see another doctor your asking for help and clearly your doctor isn't helping xx

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Depression can be a nasty thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, i was told be a doc when i had my breakdiwn in '07 that if you aren't suicidal then you aren't a priority. We are just left to the pain. That is the ultimate injustice, in my eyes.

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By *luezuluMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

Believe it or not, I deal with it by taking the piss out of it. And taking the piss out of myself

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By *hole Lotta Rosie OP Woman
over a year ago

Deviant City

thanks for those who are sharing their experiences x

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By *aul.J.JMan
over a year ago

Sedgley

Yes, i was told be a doc when i had my breakdiwn in '07 that if you aren't suicidal then you aren't a priority. We are just left to the pain. That is the ultimate injustice, in my eyes. "

I had my initial breakdown in 2000 apparently according to my therapist. ..i didn't know until 2012....that's scary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go see another doctor your asking for help and clearly your doctor isn't helping xx"

I've seen 3, All be it part of the same practice but I've simply not got the time to be sorting and going to appointments all the time. I've tried counselling off my own back but it's bloody expensive and the people I've seen just don't understand the world I live in..... Taking time off isn't that easy. But it's fine, you've just got to sit up and kick on!!

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By *hole Lotta Rosie OP Woman
over a year ago

Deviant City

"Believe it or not, I deal with it by taking the piss out of it. And taking the piss out of myself"

thats what I try and do, but it doesn't always work. Doesn't help that I'm such a sensitive soul.

Finally got a few things to look forward to, now that I can walk a bit again x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, i was told be a doc when i had my breakdiwn in '07 that if you aren't suicidal then you aren't a priority. We are just left to the pain. That is the ultimate injustice, in my eyes.

I had my initial breakdown in 2000 apparently according to my therapist. ..i didn't know until 2012....that's scary"

Well this is it!! My mum thinks I'm having one but how do you know?!!!

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By *aul.J.JMan
over a year ago

Sedgley

That's the thing unless you know what your dealing with you simply don't know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who has suffered many years of depression, I have been through the system a few times. Antidepressants, CBT, talking therapy, psychotherapy, group therapy all help but two things stood out and changed my whole world.

1. Self esteem comes from putting yourself first; realising you are one of the important people in your life.

2. Enjoy the moment you're in; whether its boring, exciting, sad or happy. You have one life, don't waste it. Make each minute count.

I still have dark days but know now these will pass. I have been suicidal but now I know I want to live.

Hold on in there because your mood will change from minute to minute or hour to hour, day to day, week to week then month to month.

Change is good. Make the most of the good bits and the bad bits become less.

I am currently medicated, for the past 10 years, and know now that I need antidepressants to keep me on an even keel. I have no intentions of coming off them. If I needed a walking stick to walk I wouldn't throw it away.

I can hold down my job and enjoy life and I know I'm lucky.

RIP Robin Williams... So sorry you couldn't find enough love for yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, i was told be a doc when i had my breakdiwn in '07 that if you aren't suicidal then you aren't a priority. We are just left to the pain. That is the ultimate injustice, in my eyes.

I had my initial breakdown in 2000 apparently according to my therapist. ..i didn't know until 2012....that's scary

Well this is it!! My mum thinks I'm having one but how do you know?!!!"

I didn't, until a doc told me. I just felt like i had exploded into a million pieces and i had no idea how to start picking them up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, i was told be a doc when i had my breakdiwn in '07 that if you aren't suicidal then you aren't a priority. We are just left to the pain. That is the ultimate injustice, in my eyes.

I had my initial breakdown in 2000 apparently according to my therapist. ..i didn't know until 2012....that's scary

Well this is it!! My mum thinks I'm having one but how do you know?!!!

I didn't, until a doc told me. I just felt like i had exploded into a million pieces and i had no idea how to start picking them up. "

Oh perhaps she right then :/ how did you pick them up if you don't mind me asking?

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By *aul.J.JMan
over a year ago

Sedgley

Yes, i was told be a doc when i had my breakdiwn in '07 that if you aren't suicidal then you aren't a priority. We are just left to the pain. That is the ultimate injustice, in my eyes.

I had my initial breakdown in 2000 apparently according to my therapist. ..i didn't know until 2012....that's scary

Well this is it!! My mum thinks I'm having one but how do you know?!!!

I didn't, until a doc told me. I just felt like i had exploded into a million pieces and i had no idea how to start picking them up. "

It's the most scariest illness out there as there is no real cure just right ways of dealingwith tthings and no 2 people are the same

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By *luezuluMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

"Believe it or not, I deal with it by taking the piss out of it. And taking the piss out of myself

thats what I try and do, but it doesn't always work. Doesn't help that I'm such a sensitive soul.

Finally got a few things to look forward to, now that I can walk a bit again x"
It works for me, I have 4 brothers who have the same warped sense of humour as me, we grew up taking the piss out of each other, I had my first break down when I was 13, and have had 3 since, the latest being in January this year. Without them beings as they are, life might have been a lot harder to cope with at times. So when they come and say things like, come on ya barmy get, were going out, I know they are only trying to get me back on track

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Go see another doctor your asking for help and clearly your doctor isn't helping xx

I'm self employed too and my therapy costs a fortune but I now see it as an investment in my health. If I can't keep my health how will I keep earning to pay for my life?

I did get 6 months NHS therapy last year. That's the maximum allowed here as the waiting lists are so long and I know I can't access it again unless I become suicidal or get sectioned. I am not planning on either.

What I was able to learn is to shop around for the right therapist for me, even in the NHS system. Some private therapists offered a free meeting to see if we would be a good fit for each other and that enabled me to look at different approaches. In the end it was someone my GP recommended as he knows me well and was able to think about the sort of therapy/therapist that would challenge me enough to make a difference.

All things are temporary. It's hard to see when you are in the middle of it but all things are temporary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think depression is a terrible thing. I find it hard as I'm constantly up and down. And I actually feel guilty if I have a good day. How sad is that. I do find u just have to get on with it, at the end of the day you are choosing to still be here-which is a scary reality but it's true. But I still stick with what I said earlier, unfortunately people just don't care. My family members are the worst!! They just don't believe me when I try tell them, they think I'm being dramatic, it's pretty shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, i was told be a doc when i had my breakdiwn in '07 that if you aren't suicidal then you aren't a priority. We are just left to the pain. That is the ultimate injustice, in my eyes.

I had my initial breakdown in 2000 apparently according to my therapist. ..i didn't know until 2012....that's scary

Well this is it!! My mum thinks I'm having one but how do you know?!!!

I didn't, until a doc told me. I just felt like i had exploded into a million pieces and i had no idea how to start picking them up.

Oh perhaps she right then :/ how did you pick them up if you don't mind me asking? "

With help and a lot of hard work. At that time i head something i dint have now, an established network of friends. One talked me into seeing the gp. One made sure i kept seeing the doc and that i stood up for myself if the suggested treatment wasn't working. Even helped me find the doc that would LISTEN TO ME and what i was going through. Then i hasa course of therapy and the therapist i lucked into was amazing. She would talk me through things, she would cheer (literally) when i made progress between weekly sessions, she even told the committee to stuff it when my therapy was supposed to end because i had just found out i was pregnant and that brought up a lot that needed to be addressed. (i was happy about the baby, but the prior pregnancy I'd had had been the beginning of several years of dv. Turns out, your subconscious only remembers the last thing its told. Mine started remembering dv. In a big way) but mostly hun it was hard work on my part doing the things that the therapist told me about, facing things, learning myself..... And time. And i still get depressive episodes to this day and they are crippling at times. You may not have that, though, because i have ptsd from the dv which causes me deep depression and anxiety. And probably always will. In my case, it's about learning to manage it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't mind paying if I didn't come away thinking it was all bullocks!! I'm a doer and I realise that you've got to find a reason for your depression but what I wanted was tools to get better and they didn't seem to materialise do you know what I mean??

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By *aul.J.JMan
over a year ago

Sedgley

"I think depression is a terrible thing. I find it hard as I'm constantly up and down. And I actually feel guilty if I have a good day. How sad is that. I do find u just have to get on with it, at the end of the day you are choosing to still be here-which is a scary reality but it's true. But I still stick with what I said earlier, unfortunately people just don't care. My family members are the worst!! They just don't believe me when I try tell them, they think I'm being dramatic, it's pretty shit

my family are the same they are old school think you can sweep things under the carpet and move on....or there are other more serious illnesses out there. I don't bother mentioning it to them now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, i was told be a doc when i had my breakdiwn in '07 that if you aren't suicidal then you aren't a priority. We are just left to the pain. That is the ultimate injustice, in my eyes.

I had my initial breakdown in 2000 apparently according to my therapist. ..i didn't know until 2012....that's scary

Well this is it!! My mum thinks I'm having one but how do you know?!!!

I didn't, until a doc told me. I just felt like i had exploded into a million pieces and i had no idea how to start picking them up.

Oh perhaps she right then :/ how did you pick them up if you don't mind me asking?

Thank you for sharing that

I do want to work hard at it just not sure how, I love my friends but they're all a bit self absorbed (bit rich coming from me!!) I'm sure they care but not so much as to help!! I don't think there's been anything bad really in my life, not really, compared to most I'm bloody lucky!! Even I can see that!! I just don't know why I'm so self destructive and miserable!! I'm very glad your feeling better now xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's so sad. I wonder if a non-supportive family (particularly if during your childhood) has contributed to your depression? xx (her)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fantastic post xx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I was 10 years old when I had my first breakdown and haven't a clue how many since but I've been sectioned 9 times.

40 years ago no one knew anything about depression let alone a child having it.

I was first properly diagnosed with depression when I was 15 then manic depression which we know know as bi polar and finally having borderline personality disorder in my early 20s, in fortunately I have the worst type of bipolar rapid cycle syndrome mixed mood.

My life can be hell, however I know its underfunded but we have come so far with mental health. People do know what it is now and there are ways of getting help, modern medicine is a godsend.

I'm on a vast cocktail of drugs and I see things differently to anyone else but I'm alive and lead a reasonable quality of life. Something I would of never hoped for in my earlier life. I've gone from being on an enhanced at risk register to no at risk register at all and its along while since I've been in hospital.

Although it can be hell this is the most stable I've ever been in my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my family are the same they are old school think you can sweep things under the carpet and move on....or there are other more serious illnesses out there. I don't bother mentioning it to them now "

Yeah my families response was 'everyone had bad times, you just have to turn the page or you'll never move forward' about ptsd, depression, and anxiety. Until January when i couldn't speak to my dad when he called because i was literally on my knees hysterically crying with it. That happens about once a year, so he'd never encountered it because usually i can't cry. When he came over at Easter we sat down and i told him what my days are like when I'm in a depression. His words were ' now, that's real depression, not just being down. You can get treatment for that'

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

sitting here weeping for you all as ive sunk back into depression ,when i went to docs 2 yrs ago she asked me what did i want out of talking to her i didnt know and still dont like folk have said you have to wait ages for any counselling ,im not a comfort eater some days barely eat at all have no family to help as they,ve gone my sister was a psychologist so wish she was here to talk to ,im just about managing to hold on but its not easy xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, i was told be a doc when i had my breakdiwn in '07 that if you aren't suicidal then you aren't a priority. We are just left to the pain. That is the ultimate injustice, in my eyes.

I had my initial breakdown in 2000 apparently according to my therapist. ..i didn't know until 2012....that's scary

Well this is it!! My mum thinks I'm having one but how do you know?!!!

I didn't, until a doc told me. I just felt like i had exploded into a million pieces and i had no idea how to start picking them up.

Oh perhaps she right then :/ how did you pick them up if you don't mind me asking?

Thank you for sharing that

I'm not. I had amother 'mini breakdown' in January, as i mentioned in another comment. And I've been in a depressive episode now for over a month. I know that it takes time and luck you get me out of them soooooo I'm just keeping on keeping on, for now. You're depressed for whatever reason. It's not a contest. And it's not a case of some having 'reason' to be so and others not. It is a part of you and a valid part. Time is actually your friend in the end. The days and nights are nasty to get through but there is no working though it in a hurry. You find what works best for you and you keep doing it and then you find something else that works and do that too, a step at a time. A day/hour/minute at a time as you need to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have worked with Mental illness for 40 years now and it still remains a very inexact science,Depression being one of the most difficult to work with.If one is going to commit Suicide they will succeed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental health issues are unfortunately hereditary, I had a break down after my sister died at the age of 21 due to measles 14 years ago, I was in a violent r-ship that didn't allow me to grief properly, I wanted to kill myself, I used to self harm and was under the mental health team, I take each day at a time and be honest with my friends and family about how I feel. My daughter had a baby that died at 33 weeks into her pregnancy and just had a little girl who is now 7 weeks old, she has been diagnosed with post natal depression and finding life hard, I bloody hate this disease !!

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

some of these stories are heartbreaking ive been on antidepressants 3 months now I don't notice a difference but others say im a lot brighter

my 27 year old daughter had a breakdown and is sectioned at the moment I hate seeing her so unhappy but she needed to be sectioned to get help with the self harming she was doing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really sorry to hear that

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By *lttattoocoupleCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

My partner only had to wait a couple of weeks for a therapist. I didn't read the whole of the OP thread but there is tons of support for depression

nice to see people always raising awareness

I'm in no way bashing the OP

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By *oodcock246Man
over a year ago

beverley

Been there and its not good yes a chat a call does help but just try and be strong and talk don't build it up

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"some of these stories are heartbreaking ive been on antidepressants 3 months now I don't notice a difference but others say im a lot brighter

my 27 year old daughter had a breakdown and is sectioned at the moment I hate seeing her so unhappy but she needed to be sectioned to get help with the self harming she was doing "
I used to go berserk when they sectioned me but now can see why they did it but I still freak out when two professionals are in the same room

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"some of these stories are heartbreaking ive been on antidepressants 3 months now I don't notice a difference but others say im a lot brighter

my 27 year old daughter had a breakdown and is sectioned at the moment I hate seeing her so unhappy but she needed to be sectioned to get help with the self harming she was doing I used to go berserk when they sectioned me but now can see why they did it but I still freak out when two professionals are in the same room

she was doing well till yesterday and lost the plot again

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"some of these stories are heartbreaking ive been on antidepressants 3 months now I don't notice a difference but others say im a lot brighter

she was doing well till yesterday and lost the plot again "
I hope it gets sorted a think a mental hospital is the worst place on earth, I had some terrible things happen when I was in

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

"some of these stories are heartbreaking ive been on antidepressants 3 months now I don't notice a difference but others say im a lot brighter

she was doing well till yesterday and lost the plot again I hope it gets sorted a think a mental hospital is the worst place on earth, I had some terrible things happen when I was in

as she also has aspergers its even worse for her as she don't do well in a hospital environment lets just say its not a caring profession

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was brought up old school and still find it very difficult to express my true feelings, I used to be a very strong person or so I thought.

The Doctor told me a couple of years ago I had a problem which I refused to believe and give in to.

I am now on a mild medication to help me and having a heart condition also I needed to sort myself out for the best, I have good and bad days.

I have 4 rays of sunshine in my life and that is what keeps me strong.

The song "Tears of a clown" sums me up to a tee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to suffer from terrible bouts of depression when I was a little kid, then when I was 15 I had trouble with my nerves and depression so the doctor gave me anti depresants only at first I was falling asleep at school.

when I met my hubby I was 17 and he told me to stop taking them which I did, then I got pregnant as soon as I stopped taking them.

not sure if they still make them now though. I do get bouts of depression now think I always will do because I have had it since I was little.

if i ever get too bad then i will ask my doctor for something to take.

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

New Cross

Mental health problems will affect 1in 3 people at some point in life. Unless people demand better services but also prepared to pay higher taxes it will always remain a cinderalla service.

Please note that if your PCT does not provide services that you require, you are entitled to be referred to other regions too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, i was told be a doc when i had my breakdiwn in '07 that if you aren't suicidal then you aren't a priority. We are just left to the pain. That is the ultimate injustice, in my eyes. "

This was why I was seen immediately. You have to hit rock bottom before you get real help. Fortunately for me I had a lot of physical symptoms too so I was head of the queue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not enough care in nhs for depression

When my daughter was ill had to rely on the priory very expensive but worth it in the end had to sell practically everything I had to fund it

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