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What do you say when ...?

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By *rtemisia OP   Woman
over a year ago

Norwich

You say no to someone on here and they ask why?

I hate it when this happens but usually say 'I don't fancy you mate', and hope that a tirade of abuse doesn't follow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No means no

No means no explanation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say they're not what I'm looking for and then usually block them. It stops any chance of abuse dead in its tracks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never ever say I don't fancy them.

I never ever get abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try to be respectful in our rejection, explaining that there's no spark for us and wish them well in their search. In general, this has been met with thanks and dignity in their response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't happen. They get blocked so we don't waste each others time again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'm busy saving the world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no point in saying anything they wouldn't like it whatever you said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't respond to that,once ive said no thats usually the end of it

I did respond to a couple that asked why recently,I said if you ask people why then you may not always like the answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we dont want somebody we either just delete the message or I tell them why not as nicely as possible. If they still ask why after that (so far nobody has ever done so) then I would just ignore and block them

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By *hrissie1961Woman
over a year ago

dumfries and galloway

Takes no time to fire of a I,m not available but good luck

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I just reply with a very simple 'no thanks x' It doesn't really leave it open for discussion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just reply with a very simple 'no thanks x' It doesn't really leave it open for discussion. "

Why?

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I just reply with a very simple 'no thanks x' It doesn't really leave it open for discussion unless he's a bellend.

Why?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand people giving abuse after a simple no

I always just message back "ok have fun" and that's it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You say no to someone on here and they ask why?

I hate it when this happens but usually say 'I don't fancy you mate', and hope that a tirade of abuse doesn't follow."

Tell them to get over it, and move on buster.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont reply any more , i did in the past then you get the " but why" and beause ive replied politely with thanks but no they can then get around message filters and can keep up with "ah go on you wont regret it " bla bla bla ive ended up blocking

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I only ever answered once ( I was tactful and not rude ) and he didn't like it...so I never answer now.

If they don't want a truthful answer in our mailbox then don't ask me a question

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

If the conversation has been courteous or I'm feeling generous I offer a polite reason, sometimes with some constructive criticism and advice.

If, however, they have not been courteous then I feel free to be honest - it's funny how rude I can be whilst still managing to be polite!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I demand no less than 10 reasons listed in descending order.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually just say I feel no immediate attraction. I automatically say no thanks to men who can't accommodate but I stopped giving that as a reason because I kept getting asked for car sex or outdoor sex

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By *abe1200Couple
over a year ago

belfast


"You say no to someone on here and they ask why?

I hate it when this happens but usually say 'I don't fancy you mate', and hope that a tirade of abuse doesn't follow."
when we sent a message n someone says no.dont even bother to ask a reason why?we just carry on looking .there are plenty of others here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually reply,,,,dispiace che tu sei davvero non è il mio tipo, comunque Mikki maraschino non è una data a buon mercato e dallo sguardo di voi dubito che si poteva permettere di portarmi fuori.

that shuts em up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I usually reply,,,,dispiace che tu sei davvero non è il mio tipo, comunque Mikki maraschino non è una data a buon mercato e dallo sguardo di voi dubito che si poteva permettere di portarmi fuori.

that shuts em up "

or Google translating it. I understood some of what you said

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By *hrissie1961Woman
over a year ago

dumfries and galloway


"I usually reply,,,,dispiace che tu sei davvero non è il mio tipo, comunque Mikki maraschino non è una data a buon mercato e dallo sguardo di voi dubito che si poteva permettere di portarmi fuori.

that shuts em up "

Excellent!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually say it in my response to their introductory like sorry 'you're not my type' or 'you're too far'. If they persist in messaging me, I just ignore them and they soon stop

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I point out that it is either distance or schedules that get in the way. Very rarely have I had to turn someone down on any other reason.

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By *U1966Man
over a year ago

Devon

Most people don't think a single male will say no so it's a bit of a shock when i dohave been abused a few times

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By *plankyMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"I usually reply,,,,dispiace che tu sei davvero non è il mio tipo, comunque Mikki maraschino non è una data a buon mercato e dallo sguardo di voi dubito che si poteva permettere di portarmi fuori.

that shuts em up "

MA PERCHE ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It doesn't happen. They get blocked so we don't waste each others time again"

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a majority male on this site I find that the respectful thanks but no thanks is a great response, and I will always reply thanking them for taking the time and having the courtesy to respond.. No problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we say not for us have fun - or something along those lines

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

A no must mean no without any further explanation, requests, begging, pleading etc. I keep it simple and just say Im not pursuing things any further. Its hard enough to keep on top of mail as it is without any hounding and ill feeling being caused. If someone causes distress then it is patently clear they were wrong for you. They should put up and shut up and use their energies more wisely.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

never happened to me ... but you dont owe people explanations for your choice .. ignore .. block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Asking a reason to a negative response is not a crime nor a social faux-pas; though some genuinely believe it is. 'No' is the hardest basic response to accept, invariably our minds seek to understand why.

The problem is that 'Why?' is more often a gateway for abuse, rather than a genuine questions designed to understand if the rejection is because of some other factor - such as off-putting photos, poor profile text etc, etc.

Sadly, the minority of people with severe rejection issues and borderline psychopathic rage spoil it for the other minority who want to understand if there is something they can do to improve themselves.

The majority sit in the middle of all this and simply thank you for replying at all!

But one thing to bear in mind, to those who like to reply with sarcastic, berating messages to the 'Why?' question - you're just as bad as those who direct their rejection issues back at you. You're feeding the cycle of rage just as much as the other person.

Or, putting it succinctly - 'If you haven't got anything nice to say, STFU and move on'.

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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago

Germany / Manchester


"You say no to someone on here and they ask why?

I hate it when this happens but usually say 'I don't fancy you mate', and hope that a tirade of abuse doesn't follow."

No certainly means No, not that we would ask but to learn the reasons why not can sometimes help the person asking, so therefore quite harmless. However, any abuse afterwards isn't nessesary.

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