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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

anything by your bed to protect yourself in case of an intruder etc? I don't apart from I always seem to have a pair of scissors as I cut the tags out my clothes so I suppose they would do....Roger is not much good as he sleeps on the sofa and a bomb could be dropped and he still wouldn't wake up plus 2 heart attacks later he ain't no Ricky Hatton

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A great big heavy crow bar

My son keeps a hammer in his room since we were burgled

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

who is roger ?

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"A great big heavy crow bar

My son keeps a hammer in his room since we were burgled"

But wouldn't you get into trouble if used as Obi said in another thread these are not items you have laying about in the bedroom?

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"who is roger ?"

My lodger

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Not specifically but there are plenty of things that could serve the purpose. For example, spray deodorant.

I've also got a wicked long spiky metal hair clip beside the bed at the moment.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"A great big heavy crow bar

My son keeps a hammer in his room since we were burgled

But wouldn't you get into trouble if used as Obi said in another thread these are not items you have laying about in the bedroom? "

I have a hammer in my spare room at the moment. I've got all sorts of random tools in various rooms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm, there's a crossbow hanging off my bedroom door at the moment, the new cabinet should be delivered today so it won't be there much longer and I would use it for self defence anyway.

What I have done is install a strobe light app on my phone. It will distract/confuse an intruder so I can tackle them myself.

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By *luezuluMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

A pair of flip flops

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Roger the bullet dodger. The guy with a massive todger who happebs to be her lodger lol.

Morning x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparantly if you keep something there for that purpose and use it you can be prosecuted. But I have friends who store their golf clubs upstairs, or their son is into baseball and has a few items in his bedroom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Baseball bat

Burgled at my last house

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a bloody lethal slipper under my bed ....... and like most mums I know how to use it!

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"A pair of flip flops"

Fucking hell you would be a fat lot of good then

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"A great big heavy crow bar

My son keeps a hammer in his room since we were burgled

But wouldn't you get into trouble if used as Obi said in another thread these are not items you have laying about in the bedroom? "

As I mentioned in the other thread! After being burgled a few years back I was advised that anything not normally found in a bedroom could be classed as an offensive weapon should you use it to twat Mr (or of course Mrs!) Burglar if they disturbed you whilst sleeping!

Golf clubs, baseball bats, kitchen knives, shotguns etc would result in you being in as much trouble as the intruder!

The advice I was given was to get a 5D cell maglite - pretty cheap, fucking heavy - and a reasonable thing to have in your hand should you suspect a break in at night. No comeback from the police should you happen to find yourself using it in self (cough) defence!

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A great big heavy crow bar

My son keeps a hammer in his room since we were burgled

But wouldn't you get into trouble if used as Obi said in another thread these are not items you have laying about in the bedroom? "

I don't care,if its ok for a man to break into my house while we're all asleep and wander around with a big carving knife then its ok to have a hammer and a crowbar to defend myself,and having spoken to the police about it they were not really too concerned

My mum used to have an air rifle and a cricket bat next to her when my Dad worked nights

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Every night I set up a number of ridiculously elaborate 'Home Alone' style booby traps, including heated door handles, swinging irons, marbles and tarantulas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my re-enactment days I have several swords which live under the bed. Plus I know how to use them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A photo of my ex wife.

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By *luezuluMan
over a year ago

Suffolk


"A pair of flip flops

Fucking hell you would be a fat lot of good then "
hey that laminate flooring is quite cold sometimes and I can't sleep in socks

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Erm, there's a crossbow hanging off my bedroom door at the moment, the new cabinet should be delivered today so it won't be there much longer and I would use it for self defence anyway.

What I have done is install a strobe light app on my phone. It will distract/confuse an intruder so I can tackle them myself."

I thought you didn't like strobes?

A

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I usually have a couple of convenient items in the car, including a 4-cell Maglite.

That reminds me, it's in the kitchen at the moment. I must put it back in the car.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My phone. Most burglars would run if they hear you getting up. Tell them the police are on their way and only the most idiotic would hang around

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

after an incident years ago I kept a knife under my pillow but police said to get rid of it as a lot of weapons used are the victims own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The male half lol take some intruder to get past him and he never sleeps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Erm, there's a crossbow hanging off my bedroom door at the moment, the new cabinet should be delivered today so it won't be there much longer and I would use it for self defence anyway.

What I have done is install a strobe light app on my phone. It will distract/confuse an intruder so I can tackle them myself.

I thought you didn't like strobes?

A"

Can't stand them but there's a difference between being behind one and being in front of one. Laser pointers can also work but there's the potential to cause long term injury which 'could' land you in trouble.

In an ideal world I'd do far more to anyone breaking into my house at night, my kids live here and I will protect them at all costs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep a broken curtain pole by my bed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think my bed hair/ make up less face would petrify anyone who saw me at that time of night

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Erm, there's a crossbow hanging off my bedroom door at the moment, the new cabinet should be delivered today so it won't be there much longer and I would use it for self defence anyway.

What I have done is install a strobe light app on my phone. It will distract/confuse an intruder so I can tackle them myself.

I thought you didn't like strobes?

A

Can't stand them but there's a difference between being behind one and being in front of one. Laser pointers can also work but there's the potential to cause long term injury which 'could' land you in trouble.

In an ideal world I'd do far more to anyone breaking into my house at night, my kids live here and I will protect them at all costs."

"He was obviously trying to escape out of the window officer!"

"It's hardly my fault he seems to have forgotten he'd broken into a 15th floor flat now is it?"

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Erm, there's a crossbow hanging off my bedroom door at the moment, the new cabinet should be delivered today so it won't be there much longer and I would use it for self defence anyway.

What I have done is install a strobe light app on my phone. It will distract/confuse an intruder so I can tackle them myself.

I thought you didn't like strobes?

A

Can't stand them but there's a difference between being behind one and being in front of one. Laser pointers can also work but there's the potential to cause long term injury which 'could' land you in trouble.

In an ideal world I'd do far more to anyone breaking into my house at night, my kids live here and I will protect them at all costs.

"He was obviously trying to escape out of the window officer!"

"It's hardly my fault he seems to have forgotten he'd broken into a 15th floor flat now is it?"

A"

With a 9" hunting knife jammed in his throat.

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool


" A photo of my ex wife. "
lol

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Erm, there's a crossbow hanging off my bedroom door at the moment, the new cabinet should be delivered today so it won't be there much longer and I would use it for self defence anyway.

What I have done is install a strobe light app on my phone. It will distract/confuse an intruder so I can tackle them myself.

I thought you didn't like strobes?

A

Can't stand them but there's a difference between being behind one and being in front of one. Laser pointers can also work but there's the potential to cause long term injury which 'could' land you in trouble.

In an ideal world I'd do far more to anyone breaking into my house at night, my kids live here and I will protect them at all costs.

"He was obviously trying to escape out of the window officer!"

"It's hardly my fault he seems to have forgotten he'd broken into a 15th floor flat now is it?"

A

With a 9" hunting knife jammed in his throat. "

Must've landed on it!

A

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Erm, there's a crossbow hanging off my bedroom door at the moment, the new cabinet should be delivered today so it won't be there much longer and I would use it for self defence anyway.

What I have done is install a strobe light app on my phone. It will distract/confuse an intruder so I can tackle them myself.

I thought you didn't like strobes?

A

Can't stand them but there's a difference between being behind one and being in front of one. Laser pointers can also work but there's the potential to cause long term injury which 'could' land you in trouble.

In an ideal world I'd do far more to anyone breaking into my house at night, my kids live here and I will protect them at all costs.

"He was obviously trying to escape out of the window officer!"

"It's hardly my fault he seems to have forgotten he'd broken into a 15th floor flat now is it?"

A

With a 9" hunting knife jammed in his throat. "

Some burglars can be incredibly clumsy.

Anyway, who is to say that whatever weapon you use wasn't brought by the burglar, taken away from him and used against him?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a loaded 45 with a hair trigger that I keep in bed beside me. I also have a lot of holes in my right foot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Erm, there's a crossbow hanging off my bedroom door at the moment, the new cabinet should be delivered today so it won't be there much longer and I would use it for self defence anyway.

What I have done is install a strobe light app on my phone. It will distract/confuse an intruder so I can tackle them myself.

I thought you didn't like strobes?

A

Can't stand them but there's a difference between being behind one and being in front of one. Laser pointers can also work but there's the potential to cause long term injury which 'could' land you in trouble.

In an ideal world I'd do far more to anyone breaking into my house at night, my kids live here and I will protect them at all costs.

"He was obviously trying to escape out of the window officer!"

"It's hardly my fault he seems to have forgotten he'd broken into a 15th floor flat now is it?"

A

With a 9" hunting knife jammed in his throat.

Must've landed on it!

A"

I could see that he was suffering so being the compassionate human that I am I decided to put him out of his misery by shooting him. Unfortunately I'm not a very good shot so the first three rounds happened to hit him in the genitals. I finally got him with a head shot after an out ten minutes...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have booby trapped the bedroom floor....my husband just thinks I'm being lazy and not putting things away....

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton


" A photo of my ex wife. "

do you hang it on the outside of the door.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Nah... I sleep like the dead. I'd be unlikely to wake up for an intruder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I had a stalker who kept leaving notes on my window the police said we can only do something if he breaks in. One night there were 5 men waiting to "restrain" him for when he found himself inside my house

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel safe in my house so no need to keep a weapon under my pillow. When I lived in Hillbrow, johannesburg used to keep a shot gun under the bed. My friend who is now in USA was even worse used to keep three guns, in the bedroom, kitchen, and lounge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The best advice is to put your phone on speaker and dial 112 instead of 999 that way if an intruder gets hold of the phone he cannot end the call and the GPS location can be traced without the need to give specific address details.

It's also a good idea to take your car keys andany house alarm panic buttons up to bed at night with you. Only fight if its a last resort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sleep naked....enough to scare off any intruder, if I run after them. My balls are so saggy these days I could hit them with them as I run along

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have booby trapped the bedroom floor....my husband just thinks I'm being lazy and not putting things away.... "

killer heels indeed!

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I have my dad's old baseball bat. But that's down the side of the fridge.

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By *lackbirdtimestwoWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

I have my wand,, it's fairly heavy and would at least surprise an intruder if I copped them around the head with it,,,

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"I sleep naked....enough to scare off any intruder, if I run after them. My balls are so saggy these days I could hit them with them as I run along "

Lol that made me giggle

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By *xpresMan
over a year ago

Elland

Baseball bat with ball and catchers mit.. I used to "play" baseball I also have golf clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cricket bat, failing that I have a cat that dons very sharp claws, when thrown.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once got woken up by 2 teenagers attempting to break into my garage I chased them down the street, lots of noise caused neighbours to look out of the windows and the police for once responded quickly. They tried to arrest me for indecent exposure as I walked back up the street naked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I sleep naked....enough to scare off any intruder, if I run after them. My balls are so saggy these days I could hit them with them as I run along "

watch you don't trip.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one has a giant black dildo like in " lock , stock and 2 smoking barrels" to beat the burglar to death with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"after an incident years ago I kept a knife under my pillow but police said to get rid of it as a lot of weapons used are the victims own"

That's true, considering the crime rate here I wouldn't be sleepless worrying of being burgled

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Just thought ... I've a huge double ender in bedroom draw .can you imagine the inturders face and better giving a report to the police!! Giggling away here lol!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"anything by your bed to protect yourself in case of an intruder etc? I don't apart from I always seem to have a pair of scissors as I cut the tags out my clothes so I suppose they would do....Roger is not much good as he sleeps on the sofa and a bomb could be dropped and he still wouldn't wake up plus 2 heart attacks later he ain't no Ricky Hatton "
gurt wooden rolling pin!!

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Once got woken up by 2 teenagers attempting to break into my garage I chased them down the street, lots of noise caused neighbours to look out of the windows and the police for once responded quickly. They tried to arrest me for indecent exposure as I walked back up the street naked "

I know I shouldn't laugh....but

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Baseball bat, golf club and a very big dog. But i eoild use my whip paddle and strapon too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I sleep naked....enough to scare off any intruder, if I run after them. My balls are so saggy these days I could hit them with them as I run along

watch you don't trip."

I tie them in a bow to stop that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we got burgled Vag would either whack them with one of her dildos or hand it over, depending on how hot the burgular was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Once got woken up by 2 teenagers attempting to break into my garage I chased them down the street, lots of noise caused neighbours to look out of the windows and the police for once responded quickly. They tried to arrest me for indecent exposure as I walked back up the street naked

I know I shouldn't laugh....but "

I laugh now, but at the time I was a tad annoyed! without the backing of the neighbours the patrol would have had an easy arrest statistic at my expense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 great big GSD's my gun cabinet is upstairs and we both have maglites in bed side draws. We only have these because we live in a rural community and that's what's laying around.

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