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"Depression knows no bounds - someone you know right now is probably struggling in silence with this insidious illness. Unfortunately it has the ability to camouflage itself and most cannot believe it if / when something happens. Recently I asked a cross section of people I knew 10 years ago from uni (so who saw a lot of me rather than in passing) and not 1 knew / guessed. They simply couldn't see it but it's there I assure you. A personality change for no obvious reason is a big red flag, and a slightly over the top persona can be too. Anyone else please contribute warning signs that can provide early warning." I don't think there is a definitive list of warning signs. Those that can be could just be because that is how it is and not to be blamed on depression. I went through years and years of torment, bullying, physical violence etc and at that moment I would have said I was depressed. I hid the way I felt from everyone and noone would have ever guessed because I was "normal". Now I get told I am depressed because I go through the overeating/undereating, insomnia/fatigue, mood swings, tears for no apparent reason, but for the first time in a very long while I am happy. Happy with who I am and the direction my life is going. I go through all the above because of a situation that I cannot control not because I am depressed. I guess what I am trying to say is it may be easy to spot the signs in some but for others also very easy to hide and it is those that hide it well that often need the most help and support. | |||
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"Depression is an invisible illness " Unfortunately you may be right, it crept up on me. The frustration of not being able to explain to others what I was feeling is something I still occasionally get. | |||
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"Depression is an invisible illness Unfortunately you may be right, it crept up on me. The frustration of not being able to explain to others what I was feeling is something I still occasionally get." you shouldn't have to explain yourself to anyone but I know what you mean | |||
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"Depression is an invisible illness Unfortunately you may be right, it crept up on me. The frustration of not being able to explain to others what I was feeling is something I still occasionally get. you shouldn't have to explain yourself to anyone but I know what you mean " It good to discuss openly and anything that raises awareness is a good thing. | |||
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"Depression = anger turned inwards" I disagree with that! | |||
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"Depression = anger turned inwards" . Depression can be caused by any number of things not just anger | |||
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"Depression = anger turned inwards I disagree with that!" I just googled his comment and got this: 'Psychoanalysts have long believed that anger towards others gets turned against ourselves. Our anger converted into self-hatred causes depression.' Personally knowing myself, I would agree with it | |||
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" I wonder if men find it harder to share their feelings. " I totally agree with this. Men are mostly brought up to be men, not to cry, not to be over emotional, to be strong in body and mind, to win, to be the best, to provide and protect. Any deviation from any of this is seen as weakness and makes you less of a man. Its a fundamental basic of being a man, so it is no wonder that more men are tipped over the edge from what may seem trivial or easy fixed problems. | |||
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" ![]() ![]() ![]() Surely being able to share,no matter where, can be helpful? | |||
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" I wonder if men find it harder to share their feelings. I totally agree with this. Men are mostly brought up to be men, not to cry, not to be over emotional, to be strong in body and mind, to win, to be the best, to provide and protect. Any deviation from any of this is seen as weakness and makes you less of a man. Its a fundamental basic of being a man, so it is no wonder that more men are tipped over the edge from what may seem trivial or easy fixed problems." Men are more likely to end their life than women...due to the fact that they feel that they can't talk about their feelings to others | |||
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"my gp gave me antidepressants and wants me to talk to someone but they cant change things so I wont go" Can I just say when I had my miscarriage and my breakdown I refused to take medication but I did take up counselling and my counsellor was amazing and taught me coping skills when I am on a low, luckily I have not had a low point for many years but It is worth talking to someone.... ![]() | |||
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"I have suffered with depression for about 20 years. I know I can be hard to live with. I have an autistic son and a son of 28 who has a debilitating illness. I stopped taking my meds 5 months ago and although feel I'm without my chemical armour I'm trying so hard to cope. I feel so alone and the forums keep me company during the long nights lol xxxx ![]() That's good news about the meds. Some people do rely on them too much. there are many natural remedies out there too | |||
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" Actual clinical depression is debilitating and all consuming. People say you should get out more, get a hobby to take your mind off it etc but it's not as easy as that. Of course, everyone's experience of depression is unique,there is no catchall cure for it. " The hobby thing isn't as patronising as it sounds, what has worked for me is keeping busy, this is why I now work 2 jobs and currently attempting a degree because keeping busy works best for me as it leaves me with less time to think, I know other sufferers that also find it works to keep super busy | |||
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"my gp gave me antidepressants and wants me to talk to someone but they cant change things so I wont go" They can't change physical things or alter courses of action but they can help you and the way you deal with feelings and cope with situations. If you can't or don't want to talk to counsellors I would recommend looking for other forms of support such as peer support groups or other help lines. Sometimes counselling is too rigid as it's appointment based and you may not feel like talking about things when you are scheduled to. | |||
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"my gp gave me antidepressants and wants me to talk to someone but they cant change things so I wont go They can't change physical things or alter courses of action but they can help you and the way you deal with feelings and cope with situations. If you can't or don't want to talk to counsellors I would recommend looking for other forms of support such as peer support groups or other help lines. Sometimes counselling is too rigid as it's appointment based and you may not feel like talking about things when you are scheduled to." ![]() | |||
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"Yes, Prozac isn't the greatest and some docs dole them out like sweeties. I only knew I'd been to the edge when I stepped back again. " Yeah - well done you.. Sometimes the Only Drug = is Your own Brain Power.. ![]() | |||
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"my gp gave me antidepressants and wants me to talk to someone but they cant change things so I wont go They can't change physical things or alter courses of action but they can help you and the way you deal with feelings and cope with situations. If you can't or don't want to talk to counsellors I would recommend looking for other forms of support such as peer support groups or other help lines. Sometimes counselling is too rigid as it's appointment based and you may not feel like talking about things when you are scheduled to." My counsellor was funny and that's what made it for me as I do believe that sometimes the best cure is laughter, he couldn't take the pain away of me losing my baby and no one can as I think about it everyday but he helped me deal with it... | |||
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"I have suffered with depression for about 20 years. I know I can be hard to live with. I have an autistic son and a son of 28 who has a debilitating illness. I stopped taking my meds 5 months ago and although feel I'm without my chemical armour I'm trying so hard to cope. I feel so alone and the forums keep me company during the long nights lol xxxx ![]() If they help then that's great. The forums helped me in ways I didn't expect. I have also learned to step away when they feel like hard work. Keep talking. | |||
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"Yes, Prozac isn't the greatest and some docs dole them out like sweeties. I only knew I'd been to the edge when I stepped back again. Yeah - well done you.. Sometimes the Only Drug = is Your own Brain Power.. ![]() But I can say I'd used up a l m o s t everything I had. It could easily have gone the other way...rational thought doesn't exist in such cicumstances | |||
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"my gp gave me antidepressants and wants me to talk to someone but they cant change things so I wont go They can't change physical things or alter courses of action but they can help you and the way you deal with feelings and cope with situations. If you can't or don't want to talk to counsellors I would recommend looking for other forms of support such as peer support groups or other help lines. Sometimes counselling is too rigid as it's appointment based and you may not feel like talking about things when you are scheduled to." I would add to this that there is a mental health forum you can dip into too. Look up Black Dog Tribe. | |||
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"Yes, Prozac isn't the greatest and some docs dole them out like sweeties. I only knew I'd been to the edge when I stepped back again. Yeah - well done you.. Sometimes the Only Drug = is Your own Brain Power.. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I have battled depression for years. A very good friend suffered with me and I met her one day for coffee. She was well, and healthy. Bouyant and optimistic. I was in the depths of despair and she consoled me. She told me I COULD and I WOULD turn the corner and be well again. She felt she had conquered the demons and was on the right road and tried to reassure me that life wasn't hopeless, just to keep taking my medication, go for therapy and all would come good. I left her that day...encouraged. I'd seen a glimpse of what I hoped I could achieve. A life with renewed purpose. Two days later my good friend took her own life. You never, ever know what another person is fighting deep inside...." No you certainly do not. Imagine 2 curves like bathtubs. Going down to the bottom is depression and energy level. If the energy level lifts but the the depression doesn't you've got a problem. | |||
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"A very interesting thread. So what can a friend do to help someone suffering depression? And particularly if the person concerned denies having an issue?" Not that much. Be there. Try not to judge and expect them to pull themselves together. Suggest going for a walk and chat and don't give up. When I came out of a deep dark depression I was able to appreciate the kindness of those that had stuck by me and who had kept coming back and just sitting in companionable silence. It all helped. | |||
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"A very interesting thread. So what can a friend do to help someone suffering depression? And particularly if the person concerned denies having an issue?" just be there, dont ush them to talk, dont tll them to sap out of it, dont ignore them and stop inviting them places, be ready to listen but mostly just be there. | |||
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"Depression = anger turned inwards" Utter shite my friend. I've struggled with depression for over 20 years. It began when I moved in with someone. I was young and stupid and believed this guy really loved me. He was quite controlling and played around on me an awful lot, initially he was contrite, laterally not so much, in fact it was my fault!!! I struggled on believing I'd made my bed etc. Ended up putting on a vast amount of weight, questioning every aspect of my existence etc and eventually sought help which led to 6 months of tablets. There is still a huge taboo surrounding mental illness, my most recent bout was after the birth of my glorious gorgeous divine child. I questioned again every aspect of my life (was I good enough to be this miracles mum?, could I run the home? Could I keep everyone else happy? And on and on............... My ex saw all this, knew I was struggling and believe me I was but left. Later telling me that part of the reason was to do with my depression, he also told me repeatedly that if I asked for help "they" would take our daughter from us (quite a laugh as I've done everything for her her whole life). I eventually went to the dr in March this year (she was 16 months old at the time) as my usual tricks to get me out of the lull weren't working. I cannot begin to describe just how terrified that "they" would take my daughter from me when I caved and made the appointment. The dr told me off for waiting so long. I'm not on tablets (I had some but threw every days back up for a month) and tbh I'm not in pronominal nick at the mo, I have days where I don't eat. All my energy is spent ensuring that the lo has everything they need for the day. On those days I can't do anything else I'm "supposed" to do, walk the dogs, do the housework etc. I recognise that, at the moment at least I am a vile person to be around. I'm always passionate but just lately I will "go off" for no reason. I don't have a support network (if I told my parents they'd dismiss me) and my ex has spent the last 15 months playing mind games with me. A because he wants me to "lose it" so he and his fiancée can take my daughter from me and B because he's a @@@@ (add your own word). As others have said, I can, do and will "put on a face", there aren't many people who I have opened up to? Why? Because of the attitude of people such as yourself. I have the most wonderful gift in the world and would never be so selfish as to take my own life but that doesn't mean depression hasn't taken me that low before. It's invidious, it's debilitating and it's real | |||
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" Now I have to watch that I don't spend too much time here as that is now a sign that I am putting off dealing with something." I also find that I do too, but on the plus side Fab has done wonders for me and also my social anxiety ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Another thing I heard and seen on a program about dogs that keeping a dog can help with depression and stress any dog owners out there that had depression and did having a dog help? I have two dogs there a pain in the ass at times LOL ![]() Having something to care for can help. You have to feed them and walk them. That means getting up and going out. | |||
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"Another thing I heard and seen on a program about dogs that keeping a dog can help with depression and stress any dog owners out there that had depression and did having a dog help? I have two dogs there a pain in the ass at times LOL ![]() | |||
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"Depression = anger turned inwards Utter shite my friend. I've struggled with depression for over 20 years. It began when I moved in with someone. I was young and stupid and believed this guy really loved me. He was quite controlling and played around on me an awful lot, initially he was contrite, laterally not so much, in fact it was my fault!!! I struggled on believing I'd made my bed etc. Ended up putting on a vast amount of weight, questioning every aspect of my existence etc and eventually sought help which led to 6 months of tablets. There is still a huge taboo surrounding mental illness, my most recent bout was after the birth of my glorious gorgeous divine child. I questioned again every aspect of my life (was I good enough to be this miracles mum?, could I run the home? Could I keep everyone else happy? And on and on............... My ex saw all this, knew I was struggling and believe me I was but left. Later telling me that part of the reason was to do with my depression, he also told me repeatedly that if I asked for help "they" would take our daughter from us (quite a laugh as I've done everything for her her whole life). I eventually went to the dr in March this year (she was 16 months old at the time) as my usual tricks to get me out of the lull weren't working. I cannot begin to describe just how terrified that "they" would take my daughter from me when I caved and made the appointment. The dr told me off for waiting so long. I'm not on tablets (I had some but threw every days back up for a month) and tbh I'm not in pronominal nick at the mo, I have days where I don't eat. All my energy is spent ensuring that the lo has everything they need for the day. On those days I can't do anything else I'm "supposed" to do, walk the dogs, do the housework etc. I recognise that, at the moment at least I am a vile person to be around. I'm always passionate but just lately I will "go off" for no reason. I don't have a support network (if I told my parents they'd dismiss me) and my ex has spent the last 15 months playing mind games with me. A because he wants me to "lose it" so he and his fiancée can take my daughter from me and B because he's a @@@@ (add your own word). As others have said, I can, do and will "put on a face", there aren't many people who I have opened up to? Why? Because of the attitude of people such as yourself. I have the most wonderful gift in the world and would never be so selfish as to take my own life but that doesn't mean depression hasn't taken me that low before. It's invidious, it's debilitating and it's real " I hope you feel better soon. Do consider whether your anger at his treatment of you (and perhaps anger towards your dismissive parents) contributed to your depression though. Swallowing the anger means it has to go somewhere if it's not dealt with. I now "allow" myself to _xpress my anger and to cry when it's appropriate and I know it has had a positive effect on me. | |||
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"Another thing I heard and seen on a program about dogs that keeping a dog can help with depression and stress any dog owners out there that had depression and did having a dog help? I have two dogs there a pain in the ass at times LOL ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Depression = anger turned inwards Utter shite my friend. I've struggled with depression for over 20 years. It began when I moved in with someone. I was young and stupid and believed this guy really loved me. He was quite controlling and played around on me an awful lot, initially he was contrite, laterally not so much, in fact it was my fault!!! I struggled on believing I'd made my bed etc. Ended up putting on a vast amount of weight, questioning every aspect of my existence etc and eventually sought help which led to 6 months of tablets. There is still a huge taboo surrounding mental illness, my most recent bout was after the birth of my glorious gorgeous divine child. I questioned again every aspect of my life (was I good enough to be this miracles mum?, could I run the home? Could I keep everyone else happy? And on and on............... My ex saw all this, knew I was struggling and believe me I was but left. Later telling me that part of the reason was to do with my depression, he also told me repeatedly that if I asked for help "they" would take our daughter from us (quite a laugh as I've done everything for her her whole life). I eventually went to the dr in March this year (she was 16 months old at the time) as my usual tricks to get me out of the lull weren't working. I cannot begin to describe just how terrified that "they" would take my daughter from me when I caved and made the appointment. The dr told me off for waiting so long. I'm not on tablets (I had some but threw every days back up for a month) and tbh I'm not in pronominal nick at the mo, I have days where I don't eat. All my energy is spent ensuring that the lo has everything they need for the day. On those days I can't do anything else I'm "supposed" to do, walk the dogs, do the housework etc. I recognise that, at the moment at least I am a vile person to be around. I'm always passionate but just lately I will "go off" for no reason. I don't have a support network (if I told my parents they'd dismiss me) and my ex has spent the last 15 months playing mind games with me. A because he wants me to "lose it" so he and his fiancée can take my daughter from me and B because he's a @@@@ (add your own word). As others have said, I can, do and will "put on a face", there aren't many people who I have opened up to? Why? Because of the attitude of people such as yourself. I have the most wonderful gift in the world and would never be so selfish as to take my own life but that doesn't mean depression hasn't taken me that low before. It's invidious, it's debilitating and it's real I hope you feel better soon. Do consider whether your anger at his treatment of you (and perhaps anger towards your dismissive parents) contributed to your depression though. Swallowing the anger means it has to go somewhere if it's not dealt with. I now "allow" myself to _xpress my anger and to cry when it's appropriate and I know it has had a positive effect on me. " Thank you, I don't have anger to him, I'm afraid of him which is different, anger takes feeling and he's not worth that. My parents will never change and for all we fight and bicker I'd not change them either. And if I ever need to cry then I do, usually in an empty room because as soon as the hounds sense I'm upset they do one, I try not to cry in front of babe as it upsets her. I'm a strong old bird and will never be beaten but it is a struggle xx | |||
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"Depression = anger turned inwards" er thats a no. i stopped looking for reasons why x i just deal with as best i can. and i ignore comments such as the above. ignorance. ![]() | |||
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