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Swinging - how does it work for couples

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By *aurenka OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

I am still wondering how does that swinging world working, especially for couples.

I know that most of you will tell me that everything is great no jealousy at all, that it is that what you missed beginning monogamist.

I am not saying that I don't believe, not at all.

But we are all human, and to get rid of jealousy is, let just say - not always possible.

I would like to hear what problems between ppl in couple swinging creates, And for whom it is not working. In your relationship or what you can see observing other couples

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i doubt that any couple is going to come on here saying it isnt working for them.

Some people use swinging as aplaster to fix problems in their relatioship but that almost always ends badly. I tried going to chams a couple of times with an ex when our relationship was not working but we never played with anyone.

My partner and i are not very active in the scene at them moment despite meeting on here. We go to Chams every couple of months or so for a social event. We are still working on our boundaries and what works for us. It is an interest we have but is not the defining element of our relationship. We have great sex together and sometimes like to treat others to that greatness

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By *aurenka OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"i doubt that any couple is going to come on here saying it isnt working for them.

"

Yes, I am very much aware of that.

That's why I wrote, that maybe they can share they observations.

Thank you for your post!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We never explain or justify our reasons for swinging or what goes on within our relationship, what we do and how we live works for us and that's all that matters.

We have observed problems between other people mainly due to one of them doing it to keep the other one happy. But again that's their business and they might have reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say there's any jealousy when we swing, but every time we meet when we get home we discuss everything that happened, for example we played with a couple and the lady was only a small girl so I could pick her up and move her around, Mrs l didn't like that, been 6ft she's not made to be lifted, she said she didn't like me doing something I couldn't do with her, so now we know that that isn't something I will not do again, no jealousy just a dislike

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The main problem we have is when we forget to communicate. Every now and then we wobble because one of us has expected the other to be a mind reader. ... Then we have a reboot and get back on track.

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By *aurenka OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"I wouldn't say there's any jealousy when we swing, but every time we meet when we get home we discuss everything that happened, for example we played with a couple and the lady was only a small girl so I could pick her up and move her around, Mrs l didn't like that, been 6ft she's not made to be lifted, she said she didn't like me doing something I couldn't do with her, so now we know that that isn't something I will not do again, no jealousy just a dislike"

Thank you!

That's interesting observation.

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By *aurenka OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"The main problem we have is when we forget to communicate. Every now and then we wobble because one of us has expected the other to be a mind reader. ... Then we have a reboot and get back on track. "

Thanks again that is very interesting thread for me.

All my life I thought I was made monogamist, but I am starting to think that maybe that lifestyle could be for me.

But happy being single so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We see the first hurdle to overcome is the concept that sexual fidelity is a valid barometer of love and affection. Once that is dealt with you can revel in the pleasure the one you love is receiving from others without jealousy.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"We see the first hurdle to overcome is the concept that sexual fidelity is a valid barometer of love and affection. Once that is dealt with you can revel in the pleasure the one you love is receiving from others without jealousy. "

Very true. I would say that if you feel jealous you should avoid swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think most people get jealous sometimes but not many would admit to it. my partner likes me seeing other men on my own, he isn't interested in meeting anyone. we have discussed it a lot over the years, he doesn't get jealous of me meeting other men the way I would expect him too, but he has been a bit jealous a couple of times.

mostly when someone kept texting me and wanted to keep seeing me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to hear what problems between ppl in couple swinging creates, And for whom it is not working. In your relationship or what you can see observing other couples"

I'm curious as to why this interests you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought you might also find it interesting that for some couples there is a lot of work that goes into preparing to swing before anything happens. With us, for example, I bought the subject of trying out a threesome about 4 years ago. Since then we have done a lot of talking, a lot of reading, a fair bit of rummaging around on Fab, and just generally moving ourselves forward to the point where we're both ready to give it a try. I'm sure other couples jump in a lot faster, especially where there is immediate common agreement. But I just thought I'd let you know our story

This doesn't necessarily mean that we're an overly cautious couple. Just that our relationship wasn't really based on sex but rather on romantic love. It's taken quite a profound, and somewhat long winded, spiritual shift to realise that sexual exploration and romantic love are not necessarily incompatible

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I would like to hear what problems between ppl in couple swinging creates, And for whom it is not working. In your relationship or what you can see observing other couples

I'm curious as to why this interests you?"

Me too. Quite specifically worded questions such as this make me wonder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Word patterns is DNA at times , strange lines of questions

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By *aurenka OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

I am not sure I got you right , but if I sound sometimes funny or weird, that's maybe because I am not native?

Never in my life lived in English-speaking country (traveled of course), all I learnt is from reading, watching, listing, talking. I remember some vague knowledge of grammar from high school, but it was ages ago, and I left high school with very very limited knowledge of English, hardly able to communicate.

Yeah, I know, that British and American people are expecting everyone speak perfect English, but would be nice if you keep in mind, that not everyone is native and some people put a lot of effort to learn foreign language.

Thank you.

As for why does subject of swinging interest me.

Sorry to disappoint you, I am no journalist, not planning to write a book about it neither scenario for TV show.

Just some human being are interested in people behavior, motivations, incentives, relationships and how it all works.

And I am one of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its easier to be single.. we just shag

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I am not sure I got you right , but if I sound sometimes funny or weird, that's maybe because I am not native?

Never in my life lived in English-speaking country (traveled of course), all I learnt is from reading, watching, listing, talking. I remember some vague knowledge of grammar from high school, but it was ages ago, and I left high school with very very limited knowledge of English, hardly able to communicate.

Yeah, I know, that British and American people are expecting everyone speak perfect English, but would be nice if you keep in mind, that not everyone is native and some people put a lot of effort to learn foreign language.

Thank you.

As for why does subject of swinging interest me.

Sorry to disappoint you, I am no journalist, not planning to write a book about it neither scenario for TV show.

Just some human being are interested in people behavior, motivations, incentives, relationships and how it all works.

And I am one of them.

"

I'm not concerned about your.ability to speak English it's clear that you're not a native speaker but you're easily understood. However just as you wonder about people's motivation so do I.

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By *LCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk


"We see the first hurdle to overcome is the concept that sexual fidelity is a valid barometer of love and affection. Once that is dealt with you can revel in the pleasure the one you love is receiving from others without jealousy. "

This is a good way of putting it.

If you equate sex with love then swinging is probably not for you. If you can separate the two then mostly its about not doing something that you wouldn't do with your partner. For example if Mrs KL was to give a swinging partner a blowjob to completion (CIM) then I would be a little annoyed as its something she doesn't do very often with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not in a couples relationship. not sure if that would ever happen but it nearly did once and because of certain things that occurred in the lifestyle that is Fab, it ended before it got started.

He wasn't ready for total commitment and I as a newbie wasn't ready to share him with others. Two sides to my story, and sorry for butting in on the thread

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By *eKoopleCouple
over a year ago

Germany / Manchester

It's working for us very well. We discussed our wants and boundaries before jumping in and continue to communicate each other's feelings. You'll find most couples on here are very protective of their relationships so therefore will have done the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love watching Emily get it on with people, the more the merrier lol BUT one fantasy I always wanted to become reality was getting oral from two women. Now Emily admits she couldnt handle seeing me with another women so I dont play Im happy to watch. But the first time we had a couple here she encouraged the other women to join her sucking the guys cock. I felt kicked in the balls. It felt like she had said Im taking your fantasy that Im never going to allow you to have and Im giving it to this guy. Salt in the wound... We talked about it afterwards and she said she had no idea Id felt like that and Im totally over it now so these days her jealousy is the only issue. She has to contact women and Im not allowed any contact with them other than face to face verbal. I find it quite funny that she worries Ill cheat while shes getting fucked by countless guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We never explain or justify our reasons for swinging or what goes on within our relationship, what we do and how we live works for us and that's all that matters.

We have observed problems between other people mainly due to one of them doing it to keep the other one happy. But again that's their business and they might have reasons."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its easier to be single.. we just shag "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love watching Emily get it on with people, the more the merrier lol BUT one fantasy I always wanted to become reality was getting oral from two women. Now Emily admits she couldnt handle seeing me with another women so I dont play Im happy to watch. But the first time we had a couple here she encouraged the other women to join her sucking the guys cock. I felt kicked in the balls. It felt like she had said Im taking your fantasy that Im never going to allow you to have and Im giving it to this guy. Salt in the wound... We talked about it afterwards and she said she had no idea Id felt like that and Im totally over it now so these days her jealousy is the only issue. She has to contact women and Im not allowed any contact with them other than face to face verbal. I find it quite funny that she worries Ill cheat while shes getting fucked by countless guys "

Swinging horror stories.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love watching Emily get it on with people, the more the merrier lol BUT one fantasy I always wanted to become reality was getting oral from two women. Now Emily admits she couldnt handle seeing me with another women so I dont play Im happy to watch. But the first time we had a couple here she encouraged the other women to join her sucking the guys cock. I felt kicked in the balls. It felt like she had said Im taking your fantasy that Im never going to allow you to have and Im giving it to this guy. Salt in the wound... We talked about it afterwards and she said she had no idea Id felt like that and Im totally over it now so these days her jealousy is the only issue. She has to contact women and Im not allowed any contact with them other than face to face verbal. I find it quite funny that she worries Ill cheat while shes getting fucked by countless guys "

Not sure I would stand for that. One rule we have is that what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

I (MR) like to see MRS getting the attention of both guys and girls but in the end its something we do this together as a couple. We prefer a jumble of limbs and group sex rather than straight swaps. But then I guess every couple have their own thing, likes and dislikes. Like everything in life its a balance between give and take. Sometimes one gives more and sometimes one takes more but overall things should even out for it to be sustainable.

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By *aurenka OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

Every couple is different as every human is different.

What is good and working for you, doesn't mean should work for others.

Rockinluv worked out their boundaries, no point to criticize them or judge them only for they won't work for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love watching Emily get it on with people, the more the merrier lol BUT one fantasy I always wanted to become reality was getting oral from two women. Now Emily admits she couldnt handle seeing me with another women so I dont play Im happy to watch. But the first time we had a couple here she encouraged the other women to join her sucking the guys cock. I felt kicked in the balls. It felt like she had said Im taking your fantasy that Im never going to allow you to have and Im giving it to this guy. Salt in the wound... We talked about it afterwards and she said she had no idea Id felt like that and Im totally over it now so these days her jealousy is the only issue. She has to contact women and Im not allowed any contact with them other than face to face verbal. I find it quite funny that she worries Ill cheat while shes getting fucked by countless guys "

This type of situation is a lot more common than people will admit. It just confirms to me that there's no set script for this swinging scene. Couples will adapt and find what works for them.

Isn't that the case with most things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Every couple is different as every human is different.

What is good and working for you, doesn't mean should work for others.

Rockinluv worked out their boundaries, no point to criticize them or judge them only for they won't work for you."

I am by no means judging anybody. I was just giving my opinion and what our rules are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To us sex is separate to love. Jealousy is a falsely imposed emotion that serves no purpose other then to enforce "ownership" on another person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been together 30 years and not once cheated on each other. We both started getting curious about sex with others so thought swinging was the best way to go about it. We have met lots of lovely people and lots of sex we have no hang ups whatsoever and both get a real buzz and the sex when were together after is electric. We always talk about what has happened if there is something one of us is not happy with we make sure it doesn't happen again. Swinging can definitely work but you have to be totally committed to each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lets also not forget that without couples it wouldn't be swinging. It'd be just a lot of singles being promiscuous. (From what I can gather not much different to how some treat the dating scene).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To us sex is separate to love. Jealousy is a falsely imposed emotion that serves no purpose other then to enforce "ownership" on another person.

"

This is how we look at it also.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lets also not forget that without couples it wouldn't be swinging. It'd be just a lot of singles being promiscuous. (From what I can gather not much different to how some treat the dating scene). "

I sometimes feel that couples are looked down upon as seriously odd for being on a swinging site by some singles......its as though they're thinking what the hell are you doing on here? There must be something wrong with you and your relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love watching Emily get it on with people, the more the merrier lol BUT one fantasy I always wanted to become reality was getting oral from two women. Now Emily admits she couldnt handle seeing me with another women so I dont play Im happy to watch. But the first time we had a couple here she encouraged the other women to join her sucking the guys cock. I felt kicked in the balls. It felt like she had said Im taking your fantasy that Im never going to allow you to have and Im giving it to this guy. Salt in the wound... We talked about it afterwards and she said she had no idea Id felt like that and Im totally over it now so these days her jealousy is the only issue. She has to contact women and Im not allowed any contact with them other than face to face verbal. I find it quite funny that she worries Ill cheat while shes getting fucked by countless guys

This type of situation is a lot more common than people will admit. It just confirms to me that there's no set script for this swinging scene. Couples will adapt and find what works for them.

Isn't that the case with most things?"

This doesn't seem fair or to be working though?

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

First of all you don't even enter the swinging scene as a couple until you know your partner inside out, if there is any sign of jealously stop immediately as its not worth risking a good relationship.

We started swinging 8 years after being in the adult film industry and by that time we had both lived out most scenarios with lots of people.

We thought the idea of swinging was a bit perverted at first lol, we were used to a controlled safe environment but we soon realised it was as much fun.

John even now gets to shoot ladies...some 10 times better than me in looks but I am 100% sure of him.

We both have to work with sexy naughty people and in a fragile marriage this would be doom, this is why we enjoy swinging as we can put the cameras down and enjoy the escapades without the worries of angles & lights.

We come across lots of couples who shouldn't be swinging for one reason or another but most come through as its a learning process.

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By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex


"We have been together 30 years and not once cheated on each other. We both started getting curious about sex with others so thought swinging was the best way to go about it. We have met lots of lovely people and lots of sex we have no hang ups whatsoever and both get a real buzz and the sex when were together after is electric. We always talk about what has happened if there is something one of us is not happy with we make sure it doesn't happen again. Swinging can definitely work but you have to be totally committed to each other"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To us sex is separate to love. Jealousy is a falsely imposed emotion that serves no purpose other then to enforce "ownership" on another person.

This is how we look at it also. "

Same applies to us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lets also not forget that without couples it wouldn't be swinging. It'd be just a lot of singles being promiscuous. (From what I can gather not much different to how some treat the dating scene).

I sometimes feel that couples are looked down upon as seriously odd for being on a swinging site by some singles......its as though they're thinking what the hell are you doing on here? There must be something wrong with you and your relationship "

Some singles do assume that their own insecurities and jealous tendancies are universal. I do think though that most appreciate how strong most swingers relationships are. Many probably actually envy that type of relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It works and works well for both of us with very little issues over the years at all. I would say we have had more issues by far over what takeaway we are having on a sat night then over swinging by far.

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By *aitinkCouple
over a year ago

York

It is an interesting topic. Swinging works only with a good strong relationship and a good strong relationship seems to stem from openness and honesty between partners. Openness includes not having a snit because he fantasizes about banging the blond down the street and she really wants to be tied up and gangbanged.

If you can be that honest and dedicate your selves to your partners' pleasure, not your own, then the result is better sex for both - if you then add including loving to see your partner taking pleasure from someone else then you rack the pleasure up another notch: we imaging our partner's playmate enjoying the same pleasures our partner gives us.

There is academic research that suggests that the our bodies respond to the possibility of infidelity by invoking some countermeasures against foreign sperm, which includes more rigorous sex and more intense orgasms; something the authors suggest may be the basis for swinging. (I can offer references).

In the end, every playdate we have is not only thoroughly enjoyed, but leads to at least a week to 10 days of vigorous post playdate sex which we both enjoy.

Hope that helps!

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lets also not forget that without couples it wouldn't be swinging. It'd be just a lot of singles being promiscuous. (From what I can gather not much different to how some treat the dating scene).

I sometimes feel that couples are looked down upon as seriously odd for being on a swinging site by some singles......its as though they're thinking what the hell are you doing on here? There must be something wrong with you and your relationship "

and increasingly frequently

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By *aurenka OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

that was very interesting thread..

any new thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging for us is friendship and sex. Not love, so nothing to be jealous about

We talked about it for years before going any further and even when we did first come here we looked around a while, then left the site a while before coming back.

It's amusing because i used to be jealous of Paul's ex's and female friends when we first got together but I don't feel any jealousy with swinging.

Number 1 I know Paul adores me, number 2 we comunicate we have boundaries. If we play with a single fem she has to be bi so we play together. We only do same room fun, we enjoy watching each other pleasuring and being pleasured by others.

This is why we don't meet single men at the moment because I feel it's unfair for Paul, however he says he doesn't mind and has been trying to encourage me to meet single guys so we may just do that. However we will still only ever meet as a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love watching Emily get it on with people, the more the merrier lol BUT one fantasy I always wanted to become reality was getting oral from two women. Now Emily admits she couldnt handle seeing me with another women so I dont play Im happy to watch. But the first time we had a couple here she encouraged the other women to join her sucking the guys cock. I felt kicked in the balls. It felt like she had said Im taking your fantasy that Im never going to allow you to have and Im giving it to this guy. Salt in the wound... We talked about it afterwards and she said she had no idea Id felt like that and Im totally over it now so these days her jealousy is the only issue. She has to contact women and Im not allowed any contact with them other than face to face verbal. I find it quite funny that she worries Ill cheat while shes getting fucked by countless guys

This type of situation is a lot more common than people will admit. It just confirms to me that there's no set script for this swinging scene. Couples will adapt and find what works for them.

Isn't that the case with most things?

This doesn't seem fair or to be working though?

"

It works fine for us because I (stu) seriously lack self confidence and wouldnt want to join in until we had met with the person/people in question on quite a few occassions. First I would think my body would put them off because Im the guy with the huge belly and 3" cock women are always describing when they mention the bloke they would never want to meet, and then if I did get the nerve up to join in I would be convinced they were not enjoying my participation and just putting up with it to get to Emily. I often think Emily only plays with me through a sense of duty not lust. I dont like admitting to this because I dont want people thinking Im looking for sympathy. Im not. But I wont have everybody thinking Emily is some control freak who treats me unfairly either. We usually just give her reasons for me not playing as its easier than this long winded explanation.

The long and short of it is I love watching her get it on with others and she loves getting it on with me while we watch her getting it on with others. I get more enjoyment like that than I would get putting myself through the humiliation of trying to join in.

Emilys jealousy is more a case of not trusting the other women. Shes convinced they are gonna try and run off with me lmao we recently met a couple who she has developed trust and friendship with and she has asked me to join in and encouraged it. I had a play with the other womens boobs but she seemed more interested in what Emily and her fella were doing as she loved watching so the lack of response convinced me to settle back into my role as voyeur.

It might sound like a nightmare to some but it DOES work for us.

She plays I watch we are both happy and getting a kick from it. Its just really hard to explain how or why, but thats what the OP asked for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't say there's any jealousy when we swing, but every time we meet when we get home we discuss everything that happened, for example we played with a couple and the lady was only a small girl so I could pick her up and move her around, Mrs l didn't like that, been 6ft she's not made to be lifted, she said she didn't like me doing something I couldn't do with her, so now we know that that isn't something I will not do again, no jealousy just a dislike"

We always brief before a meet and debrief afterwards, we have had moments we didn't like and it's all part of learning what works and what doesn't.

Communication is key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't say there's any jealousy when we swing, but every time we meet when we get home we discuss everything that happened, for example we played with a couple and the lady was only a small girl so I could pick her up and move her around, Mrs l didn't like that, been 6ft she's not made to be lifted, she said she didn't like me doing something I couldn't do with her, so now we know that that isn't something I will not do again, no jealousy just a dislike

We always brief before a meet and debrief afterwards, we have had moments we didn't like and it's all part of learning what works and what doesn't.

Communication is key "

We do the same. Emily wouldnt want me to bottle something up to protect her and vice versa. If something isnt mutually enjoyable we dont do it again

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Swinging, also known as wife swapping or partner swapping, is a non-monogamous behavior, in which partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity - predominantly couples engage in this practice - it works for most couples and it's strange that any one on a swingers web site should question how it works for couples - almost as if it's strange! Z

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By *aurenka OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"Swinging, also known as wife swapping or partner swapping, is a non-monogamous behavior, in which partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity - predominantly couples engage in this practice - it works for most couples and it's strange that any one on a swingers web site should question how it works for couples - almost as if it's strange! Z"

That was really strange. LOL

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton


"Swinging, also known as wife swapping or partner swapping, is a non-monogamous behavior, in which partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity - predominantly couples engage in this practice - it works for most couples and it's strange that any one on a swingers web site should question how it works for couples - almost as if it's strange! Z

That was really strange. LOL"

in what way was that strange? Swinging is a past time mostly enjoyed by couples yet you are questioning why and how couples swing! Z

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By *aurenka OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

Maybe read some replay ppl got me, you may get some idea why.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton


"Maybe read some replay ppl got me, you may get some idea why."

ok - i might if i have time Z

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By *oo hotCouple
over a year ago

North West


"that was very interesting thread..

any new thoughts?"

The biggest turn on is to be together with your life partner and them being turned on, excited and happy. Why would anyone feel so insecure that they would NOT want to walk through life and share fantasies (vanilla or otherwise) with the love of their life?

As stated above.. To even think that you may have doubts or insecurities brought about by jealousy is a pretty good reason to not even try it.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"I am not sure I got you right , but if I sound sometimes funny or weird, that's maybe because I am not native?

Never in my life lived in English-speaking country (traveled of course), all I learnt is from reading, watching, listing, talking. I remember some vague knowledge of grammar from high school, but it was ages ago, and I left high school with very very limited knowledge of English, hardly able to communicate.

Yeah, I know, that British and American people are expecting everyone speak perfect English, but would be nice if you keep in mind, that not everyone is native and some people put a lot of effort to learn foreign language.

Thank you.

"
Sidetrack - Im impressed by your standard of English

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire


"We never explain or justify our reasons for swinging or what goes on within our relationship, what we do and how we live works for us and that's all that matters.

We have observed problems between other people mainly due to one of them doing it to keep the other one happy. But again that's their business and they might have reasons."

this

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire


"We never explain or justify our reasons for swinging or what goes on within our relationship, what we do and how we live works for us and that's all that matters.

We have observed problems between other people mainly due to one of them doing it to keep the other one happy. But again that's their business and they might have reasons."

much the same thoughts as ours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love watching Emily get it on with people, the more the merrier lol BUT one fantasy I always wanted to become reality was getting oral from two women. Now Emily admits she couldnt handle seeing me with another women so I dont play Im happy to watch. But the first time we had a couple here she encouraged the other women to join her sucking the guys cock. I felt kicked in the balls. It felt like she had said Im taking your fantasy that Im never going to allow you to have and Im giving it to this guy. Salt in the wound... We talked about it afterwards and she said she had no idea Id felt like that and Im totally over it now so these days her jealousy is the only issue. She has to contact women and Im not allowed any contact with them other than face to face verbal. I find it quite funny that she worries Ill cheat while shes getting fucked by countless guys "

Women sometimes possess men and it would appear you have that issue. To be honest she is being very unfair to you. She is happy to suck other men off but not let you have that. She needs to be more reasonable but in matters of jealousy reason is the first thing to go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love watching Emily get it on with people, the more the merrier lol BUT one fantasy I always wanted to become reality was getting oral from two women. Now Emily admits she couldnt handle seeing me with another women so I dont play Im happy to watch. But the first time we had a couple here she encouraged the other women to join her sucking the guys cock. I felt kicked in the balls. It felt like she had said Im taking your fantasy that Im never going to allow you to have and Im giving it to this guy. Salt in the wound... We talked about it afterwards and she said she had no idea Id felt like that and Im totally over it now so these days her jealousy is the only issue. She has to contact women and Im not allowed any contact with them other than face to face verbal. I find it quite funny that she worries Ill cheat while shes getting fucked by countless guys

Women sometimes possess men and it would appear you have that issue. To be honest she is being very unfair to you. She is happy to suck other men off but not let you have that. She needs to be more reasonable but in matters of jealousy reason is the first thing to go."

Totally incorrect. We started swinging because I wanted to watch her get groped by other guys so I asked her if she would do that. She has never wanted to see me with another women and, for reasons I described in a later post, Im happy not to play with other women. Its nothing to do with anybody being possesed, if anything its about her doing anything she can to please me and thats more than fair. Youve clearly totally misunderstood our situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love watching Emily get it on with people, the more the merrier lol BUT one fantasy I always wanted to become reality was getting oral from two women. Now Emily admits she couldnt handle seeing me with another women so I dont play Im happy to watch. But the first time we had a couple here she encouraged the other women to join her sucking the guys cock. I felt kicked in the balls. It felt like she had said Im taking your fantasy that Im never going to allow you to have and Im giving it to this guy. Salt in the wound... We talked about it afterwards and she said she had no idea Id felt like that and Im totally over it now so these days her jealousy is the only issue. She has to contact women and Im not allowed any contact with them other than face to face verbal. I find it quite funny that she worries Ill cheat while shes getting fucked by countless guys

Women sometimes possess men and it would appear you have that issue. To be honest she is being very unfair to you. She is happy to suck other men off but not let you have that. She needs to be more reasonable but in matters of jealousy reason is the first thing to go.

Totally incorrect. We started swinging because I wanted to watch her get groped by other guys so I asked her if she would do that. She has never wanted to see me with another women and, for reasons I described in a later post, Im happy not to play with other women. Its nothing to do with anybody being possesed, if anything its about her doing anything she can to please me and thats more than fair. Youve clearly totally misunderstood our situation "

Ok. I stand corrected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love watching Emily get it on with people, the more the merrier lol BUT one fantasy I always wanted to become reality was getting oral from two women. Now Emily admits she couldnt handle seeing me with another women so I dont play Im happy to watch. But the first time we had a couple here she encouraged the other women to join her sucking the guys cock. I felt kicked in the balls. It felt like she had said Im taking your fantasy that Im never going to allow you to have and Im giving it to this guy. Salt in the wound... We talked about it afterwards and she said she had no idea Id felt like that and Im totally over it now so these days her jealousy is the only issue. She has to contact women and Im not allowed any contact with them other than face to face verbal. I find it quite funny that she worries Ill cheat while shes getting fucked by countless guys

Women sometimes possess men and it would appear you have that issue. To be honest she is being very unfair to you. She is happy to suck other men off but not let you have that. She needs to be more reasonable but in matters of jealousy reason is the first thing to go.

Totally incorrect. We started swinging because I wanted to watch her get groped by other guys so I asked her if she would do that. She has never wanted to see me with another women and, for reasons I described in a later post, Im happy not to play with other women. Its nothing to do with anybody being possesed, if anything its about her doing anything she can to please me and thats more than fair. Youve clearly totally misunderstood our situation

Ok. I stand corrected. "

Lol I can see how it would look as you described and Im sure there are couples who unfortunately fit your description. But also there are a lot of people making a lot of assumptions on this site rather than asking qestions.

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By *aurenka OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"Interesting thread"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have been together 30 years and not once cheated on each other. We both started getting curious about sex with others so thought swinging was the best way to go about it. We have met lots of lovely people and lots of sex we have no hang ups whatsoever and both get a real buzz and the sex when were together after is electric. We always talk about what has happened if there is something one of us is not happy with we make sure it doesn't happen again. Swinging can definitely work but you have to be totally committed to each other"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get your question . Male half here.

Yes at first you think fuck me this is weird but as with most couples we have met there is a strong bond that Sometimes can't really be explained that makes it work.

I love her she loves me I could get deep with you but I still could explained it really but that's the magic of love and trust and all the other stuff that jake a couple a couple .

All I know is I'd die for her 10 times over not sure that helps but do you get what I'm getting at

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By *aurenka OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

That was very interesting thread. Maybe some new people say something?

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West

It didnt work for us...tried it twice, just didnt get the buzz out of it we were expecting, although it was a great expereince..no jealousy etc..my wife despite being very good looking, but slightly on the larger side didn't have the confidence in her appearance..(seeing 'no oopah loompahs' and 'no fatties' in another couples profiles didnt do much for her self esteem either!)...and unfortunately im not the type to just walk up to a woman and start fumbling around..im too polite! lol

Plus, we decided we didnt want to take the chance with our health...so we moved on.

All power to those that do enjoy though, good for them..we can see what the attraction and the buzz is..but it just didnt work out for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've given up swinging though I keep my profile just to chat with the few friends we made while we were active

My husband loves me to go with other guys, whether in front of him or not. I've never been able to understand because I'd not be able to handle him doing the same. But he doesn't mind this.

The problem is that I don't like casual sex, it might be fun at the time, but afterwards I go right off the poor guy, however well he's performed, I can't help it.

The only way I can enjoy it is to have a relationship with the guy, get to know him, form a bond, and if it's good, inevitably get emotionally attached.

If I'm emotionally attached, I will get jealous if the guy asserts his single status and continues swinging with other women, even if it's not physical, just naughty chatting on Fab or other social media.

If I get jealous it kills my libido dead, and inevitably I drop the guy, and he rarely can understand why!

So I've given it up, and to be honest I'm much happier and don't miss it at all

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By *tmmCouple
over a year ago

harlow

For us we do this together as a couple. So far there's been nothing to adapt to as we have very few "limits" but we both know that if there ever was an issue all we ever have to do is say. We'll try anything once and if we like it we'll do it again lol. Swinging for us is a bonus to an already brilliant see life.

Another twist on why we swing but not the be all or end all by any means. Due to our age gap there may come a time where Phil can't keep up with me (although there are no signs of that yet - if anything I'm the one lagging lol) and this would be a good way of both of us getting something we enjoy without me sending him to the knackers yard. Lol!

But there are definitely those that do it to make the other party happy, as a way to try and fix a broken relationship or as a means to their own end because they aren't happy with the set between them but don't want to say and I hate to say it but you can see it a mile off if they fit these categories.

For us jealousy has no place in swinging. Other than "I wish my boobs were like hers" or "I wish I had kinky boots like that!"

All in all my personal opinion is that if you can take or leave swinging but enjoy it if it's available in whatever format then you have a healthy swinging relationship

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

We are a happily married couple who have been together over 30 years. We enjoy seeing the other enjoying him/herself.

Sex makes us happy and swinging gives us variation.

The main problem (though it is not a huge problem) with swinging for us is the common problem voiced in other threads.

Lack of female partners and couples to swing with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging split me and my partner up. He couldn't handle seeing me with other people and thought swinging was wrong. Brought all his in securities out. The irony was we only started because he wanted an ffm (which he never got but I've made up for since). I think communication is the key.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am still wondering how does that swinging world working, especially for couples.

I know that most of you will tell me that everything is great no jealousy at all, that it is that what you missed beginning monogamist.

I am not saying that I don't believe, not at all.

But we are all human, and to get rid of jealousy is, let just say - not always possible.

I would like to hear what problems between ppl in couple swinging creates, And for whom it is not working. In your relationship or what you can see observing other couples"

We've never had a problem we were talking to friends who indulged and chatted on the way home in the car and all these years later still enjoying it without any issues. It just works which is great.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love him to bits that is how it works, ticking each others boxes

Her

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By *unkydesignCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Communication, honesty and openness are the key. We have our agreed limits and stick to them. We couldn't swing unless we were very much in love with each other as it requires mutual respect and trust.

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By *UN TIME COUPLECouple
over a year ago

redditch

We have no jealousy issues i enjoy seein the wife get pleasured by both sexes as does the wife enjoy watching me with a female once the night is over we talk on how horny it was an then we end up having sex again an embrasing the fantastic time we had

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I thought you might also find it interesting that for some couples there is a lot of work that goes into preparing to swing before anything happens. With us, for example, I bought the subject of trying out a threesome about 4 years ago. Since then we have done a lot of talking, a lot of reading, a fair bit of rummaging around on Fab, and just generally moving ourselves forward to the point where we're both ready to give it a try. I'm sure other couples jump in a lot faster, especially where there is immediate common agreement. But I just thought I'd let you know our story

This doesn't necessarily mean that we're an overly cautious couple. Just that our relationship wasn't really based on sex but rather on romantic love. It's taken quite a profound, and somewhat long winded, spiritual shift to realise that sexual exploration and romantic love are not necessarily incompatible "

How brilliantly expressed. We have been exactly the same, over a much longer period of 8 years, where we visited clubs, not to play with others, but just to get a feel of the scene, and have very slowly over the years pushed our boundaries, to where we are now, actually playing with others under circumstances we feel comfortable with.

For us it's very much the excitement, that meet and getting ready for it, the build up to it, the meet and flirting and breaking the ice to actually playing. Do we get jealous? A little yes, but the beauty of it for us is we get to experience sex with others, but we know we love each other and make sure the last contact of any play is between us, and that where the actual act and the emotion seperate. The whole scene has created better trust between us, and a higher level of honesty.

We have rules in the scene, which we keep to, but they are ever evolving as we come across different experiences and scenarios, and that in itself creates a level of honesty between us, as we are sure to discuss thins between us, as it's important to us we are both happy in what we are doing, and if one isn't happy about something, we simply respect that, accept it and move on.

The biggest thing for us is that it doesn't take over a relationship, and be the defining thing for us as a couple, something we've seen happen to there people. As well as making sure we don't get addicted and start pushing our boundaries beyond our comfort zone just because we need a stronger fix!

Oops but of an essay there

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By *ingersoloWoman
over a year ago

Oldham

I'm rather New to swinging and in a relatively new relationship with my fiance. We were friends before we got together and it was purely platonic as he was married. I didn't know they were swingers and I wasn't part of the scene at the time.

When we got together it was like lightning and we felt we were and are meant to be together forever.

a few months into the relationship we started chatting about swinging and eventually I agreed to try it and had some fantastic meets. We enjoyed going to the club and me playing with other men and sometimes other women. But my basic jealous tendencies prevented me allowing him to play alone. Over time it did take over the relationship and we had to reset our boundaries and found ways for it to work.

Our bond is strong, and the sex is still explosive. The important thing in my eyes is to work out your boundaries together, be considerate of the person you love, be prepared to be flexible and forgiving and mostly enjoy it.

sorry for chapter and verse lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Our bond is strong, and the sex is still explosive. The important thing in my eyes is to work out your boundaries together, be considerate of the person you love, be prepared to be flexible and forgiving and mostly enjoy it.

sorry for chapter and verse lol "

There's been times yes when mistakes have been made due to miscommunication or just simply the speed at how things progressed but we don't hold a grudge over these things as end the of the day what we do on here or in clubs is extra to what we have as a couple. We talk about how these things made us feel and reset our boundaries to incorporate the things we liked and leave out those we didn't.

Cin

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By *aurenka OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

that was sooo interesting thread.

Maybe new people will shere their experinces?

Many things changed and I am in relationship now, and we talk alot. And I am wonder how it will be working for us, but now is too soon to write anything.

But would love to hear more from other ppl.

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