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How do you deal with someone with no sense of boundaries?

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I was talking to a friend today ( non swinger)and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that seems to just ignore my friends feelings and wishes over a lot of things mostly mundane but over time I think resentment has built up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was talking to a friend today ( non swinger)and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that seems to just ignore my friends feelings and wishes over a lot of things mostly mundane but over time I think resentment has built up.

"

Do you mean she has no tact, and or is selfish/ego centric?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid the person as much as possible. It can be impossible to explain what they are doing wrong. Not worth the effort.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock


"I was talking to a friend today ( non swinger)and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that seems to just ignore my friends feelings and wishes over a lot of things mostly mundane but over time I think resentment has built up.

"

I think in situations like that you have to be blunt and tell it how it is. Tell this mutual acquaintance how your friend feels or your friend should tell them herself.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You have to walk away if they won't listen to reason and not go back until they do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was talking to a friend today ( non swinger)and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that seems to just ignore my friends feelings and wishes over a lot of things mostly mundane but over time I think resentment has built up.

"
forget the person in question

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I was talking to a friend today ( non swinger)and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that seems to just ignore my friends feelings and wishes over a lot of things mostly mundane but over time I think resentment has built up.

Do you mean she has no tact, and or is selfish/ego centric?"
Its a bit of all three.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could she be autistic?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Depends. Is there a neurological problem there or are they just an arse? If the latter I tend to point out the problem when it happens. If the former, I have no idea.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I was talking to a friend today ( non swinger)and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that seems to just ignore my friends feelings and wishes over a lot of things mostly mundane but over time I think resentment has built up.

"

I dunno. How do you lot deal with me?

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Could she be autistic?"
She may well be, I suggested this years ago to her brother, and he went ballistic, even though he was having the same problems at the time.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"I was talking to a friend today ( non swinger)and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that seems to just ignore my friends feelings and wishes over a lot of things mostly mundane but over time I think resentment has built up.

I dunno. How do you lot deal with me? "

Whip and a chair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was talking to a friend today ( non swinger)and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that seems to just ignore my friends feelings and wishes over a lot of things mostly mundane but over time I think resentment has built up.

Do you mean she has no tact, and or is selfish/ego centric?Its a bit of all three. "

If the mutual acquaintance cannot empathise and sees their actions as normal (such as some on the autistic spectrum) then it's your friend who needs to adjust her own thinking and let the behaviour of said person wash over her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/08/14 22:42:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I USED to have some friends like that. Over time and after being ignored and being TOLD what I needed to do in my life, I just decided one day that enough was enough.

I didn't argue or say anything, I just backed off and let them get on without me. I've never been one for having loads of close friends but these few were just taking advantage and basically taking the piss.

I'm now much happier and come and go as I please without any ridicule or criticism from anyone!

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I was talking to a friend today ( non swinger)and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that seems to just ignore my friends feelings and wishes over a lot of things mostly mundane but over time I think resentment has built up.

Do you mean she has no tact, and or is selfish/ego centric?Its a bit of all three.

If the mutual acquaintance cannot empathise and sees their actions as normal (such as some on the autistic spectrum) then it's your friend who needs to adjust her own thinking and let the behaviour of said person wash over her."
I have said this, I suggested she should distance herself for a short while.

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"I USED to have some friends like that. Over time and after being ignored and being TOLD what I needed to do in my life, I just decided one day that enough was enough.

I didn't argue or say anything, I just backed off and let them get on without me. I've never been one for having loads of close friends but these few were just taking advantage and basically taking the piss.

I'm now much happier and come and go as I please without any ridicule or criticism from anyone! "
Good for you! I am hoping my friend can solve the issues.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I was talking to a friend today ( non swinger)and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that seems to just ignore my friends feelings and wishes over a lot of things mostly mundane but over time I think resentment has built up.

I dunno. How do you lot deal with me?

Whip and a chair. "

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Take a holiday from the friend for a little while. Come back refreshed and when it feels clingy again step away for a while.

That is unless they are really malignant parasites sucking the life out of you in which case you need to cut them out permanently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I USED to have some friends like that. Over time and after being ignored and being TOLD what I needed to do in my life, I just decided one day that enough was enough.

I didn't argue or say anything, I just backed off and let them get on without me. I've never been one for having loads of close friends but these few were just taking advantage and basically taking the piss.

I'm now much happier and come and go as I please without any ridicule or criticism from anyone! Good for you! I am hoping my friend can solve the issues."

Thanks! I hope she can too, life is too short to have your wishes ignored and be used by people who are meant to be friends

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By *emmefatale OP   Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Take a holiday from the friend for a little while. Come back refreshed and when it feels clingy again step away for a while.

That is unless they are really malignant parasites sucking the life out of you in which case you need to cut them out permanently.

"
This is more or less verbatim, what I said to my friend earlier.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Take a holiday from the friend for a little while. Come back refreshed and when it feels clingy again step away for a while.

That is unless they are really malignant parasites sucking the life out of you in which case you need to cut them out permanently.

This is more or less verbatim, what I said to my friend earlier. "

If you have been saying the same thing many times then your friend may be getting something out of parasitic relationship. Possibly being the martyr and transferring the burden by sharing it generously with her/his other friends (i.e. you).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have in the past given the straight talking approach, but that is me, as I respect it myself if I am doing wrong.

If this approach is impossible, take a step back and wait to be asked what's wrong then do the same.

This is me, as I feel that going round the houses with things don't work.

A good clearing of the air.

Her

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I establish agreed boundaries. If they are ignored I will remind what they are and demand agreement for compliance. If this is not given I view this as a lack of respect and break contact.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

You punch them in the neck.

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago

dont meet them or stop meeting them lol, simple really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was talking to a friend today ( non swinger)and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that seems to just ignore my friends feelings and wishes over a lot of things mostly mundane but over time I think resentment has built up.

I dunno. How do you lot deal with me? "
we just look at your breasts and then forgive you

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By *otsoSnowWhiteWoman
over a year ago

My Ice Castle! South Wales

Both funky' sand wyrd's have made me chuckle.

But seriously I gad a friend who was like your acquaintance and I phased her out, finally my best friend has seen her in the same light at last and has done just the same. You don't need people like that in your life if you do not wish them to be

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Keep the people in your life who are worth keeping. When someone treats you badly, in whatever form, you have to consider why you're putting up with that. If something or someone doesn't make you happy then it's time to stop.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I was talking to a friend today ( non swinger)and she was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that seems to just ignore my friends feelings and wishes over a lot of things mostly mundane but over time I think resentment has built up.

"

How do you feel about the mutual friend?

If you have no problem with them then the issue is hers alone.

It's common practice for some individuals that have issues with someone to attempt to pass those issues on, in an attempt to either isolate said person from a group (work, social, family etc) or to convince others that the problem is with them rather than themselves.

If you have no personal problem with them - why get involved?

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The longer it has been going on, the more difficult it is to keep in check.

Taking a step back is less confrontational than a punch in the neck but has less "job satisfaction"

Listen to your inner troll on this one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell them straight and if they persist I no longer keep contact with them. This is why I have very few close friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Keep the people in your life who are worth keeping. When someone treats you badly, in whatever form, you have to consider why you're putting up with that. If something or someone doesn't make you happy then it's time to stop."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Keep the people in your life who are worth keeping. When someone treats you badly, in whatever form, you have to consider why you're putting up with that. If something or someone doesn't make you happy then it's time to stop.

"

Thread archeology?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Keep the people in your life who are worth keeping. When someone treats you badly, in whatever form, you have to consider why you're putting up with that. If something or someone doesn't make you happy then it's time to stop.

"

Over a year resurrection? Ok then...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Keep the people in your life who are worth keeping. When someone treats you badly, in whatever form, you have to consider why you're putting up with that. If something or someone doesn't make you happy then it's time to stop.

Over a year resurrection? Ok then... "

Nee naww nee naww

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Keep the people in your life who are worth keeping. When someone treats you badly, in whatever form, you have to consider why you're putting up with that. If something or someone doesn't make you happy then it's time to stop.

Over a year resurrection? Ok then...

Nee naww nee naww"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Keep the people in your life who are worth keeping. When someone treats you badly, in whatever form, you have to consider why you're putting up with that. If something or someone doesn't make you happy then it's time to stop.

Over a year resurrection? Ok then...

Nee naww nee naww

"

Good grief it's xmas lighten up.

People are told to do forum searches then bitched at when they do.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World


"Keep the people in your life who are worth keeping. When someone treats you badly, in whatever form, you have to consider why you're putting up with that. If something or someone doesn't make you happy then it's time to stop.

Over a year resurrection? Ok then... "

No reason why she can't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Keep the people in your life who are worth keeping. When someone treats you badly, in whatever form, you have to consider why you're putting up with that. If something or someone doesn't make you happy then it's time to stop.

Over a year resurrection? Ok then...

No reason why she can't "

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"Keep the people in your life who are worth keeping. When someone treats you badly, in whatever form, you have to consider why you're putting up with that. If something or someone doesn't make you happy then it's time to stop.

Over a year resurrection? Ok then...

No reason why she can't

"

I like trying to guess who all the unlos's are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Keep the people in your life who are worth keeping. When someone treats you badly, in whatever form, you have to consider why you're putting up with that. If something or someone doesn't make you happy then it's time to stop.

Over a year resurrection? Ok then...

No reason why she can't

I like trying to guess who all the unlos's are "

One of them may be me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At times you have to put yourself first and be true to who you are as a person.

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