FabSwingers.com forum: Things you never should say on a meet.

By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Go on folks, do your worst, and use your imagination.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That will do pig. That will do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came on my bike

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By *atlady555Woman
over a year ago

Reading

"That will do pig. That will do"

lol that's what I was going to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm clean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't believe you wore that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I go home now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whens the guy in the pics going to get here?

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By *emmefatale OP Woman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Whens the guy in the pics going to get here?"
Ooooh harsh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you don't mind but I brought my own personal collection of dildos butt plugs string and a few coconuts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't believe you wore that."

Lol - says the man who dresses as a storm trooper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was a guy..... Sdi I park my bike in there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A slightly crestfallen 'oooh' when he gets undressed

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By *atlady555Woman
over a year ago

Reading

"Whens the guy in the pics going to get here?Ooooh harsh

but funny

still laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I was a guy..... Sdi I park my bike in there! "

*do

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Do you have a pretty friend?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it in yet? ...... I can't feel anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I just ring my mum and tell her I'm going to be late home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look like my mum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U look very similiar to my ex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

could you fart and give me a clue?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're mum was a better shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you have a pretty friend?"

I've had similar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow that looks just like a penis only smaller!

Cant take credit for it tho its a line from a movie and so far have never had cause to use it!! Nor would I, I hasten to add.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hurry up before the wife/husband/whatever gets home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"could you fart and give me a clue? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"could you fart and give me a clue? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When did you last wash your hair? Ohh last month

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who the fuck are you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy once said to me, Your not what I was expecting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

£50 ok with you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will be a quicky ive got another meet in an hour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you don't mind I brought my mate to hold the camera

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Will be a quicky ive got another meet in an hour

Had that happen to me. Told them to fuck off as I left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Day after a meet, the guy messaged me here to say he enjoyed himself but I was too old for him! Didnt stop him getting a hotel though and doing the job? I could have said something derogatory about him, (justified too) but I didnt. Blocked him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This paper bag is for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

time for a sharp exit...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a funny story about the bin bags,

My wife found my profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm so sorry, I told my nanna to stay in the car..."

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Just have to swing past the clinic for a quick check-up. You fancy joining me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think my credit card is maxed out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will definatly need my jump leads here

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What time is your brother due home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This paper bag is for you."

If someone did that I would take it and say.....

Aww thank you that's so considerate, I'm going to need it looking at you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This paper bag is for you.

If someone did that I would take it and say.....

Aww thank you that's so considerate, I'm going to need it looking at you

Sounds like I'm getting a shag either way. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That reminds me...I must remember to buy some cocktail sausages tomorrow...hhhhmmm party sausage ;-/

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I have to return some videotapes...

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Sorry, do you mind if I just take this call?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isitin

Gimpus erectus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheque please!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Cheque please!"

Haha, you have a twisted mind!

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

Can I play with your balls? Cause I really miss mine...

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Buy me a new car

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I adore hairy pussy, can we do this next month?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello mum.

Hello dad.

Helly dolly, well hello dolly .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mum/dad what you doing here??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/08/14 00:18:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're actually quite short aren't ya Pops?

Erm, did you not read my profile?

I didn't realise you would be this short you know.

Well, i did tell you.

I thought you were joking.

It's not like if i said i was taller i'd get away with it now is it?

Just shut up and fuck me you sexy fuck!

...(takes his socks off)

True story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that it?

So.... How many kids do you want?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice to meet you ugly twin sister. Now, where's Cinderella?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which curtains do i use, the lounge or in here?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Dont suppose you have a sick bag I could use?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ermmm... How do I put it... You stink... Loool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may want to give the rimming a miss I've had the squirts all day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm considering batting for the other side.

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By *oomar1Man
over a year ago

Stalybridge

Jesus you looked miles better in your pictures ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your grandma liked it that way too!!

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By *oomar1Man
over a year ago

Stalybridge

You've put on a few pounds since them pictures were took

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Genital warts are curiously compelling, don't you think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Registry office is free Tuesday

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst doggying, if i join the dots up what picture am i likely to get?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wear the same pants as your dad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh was that it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooops! Sorry, I came a bit quick. Nevermind it will wash off your dress.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be honest, does this look infected to you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No its cool , he is just my case worker , by law i have to have him next to me when i am out in the public.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry im late. I had to nip in the chemist to get something for the rash.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My god . I didnt realise it was fancy dress !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it halloween already ?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Does your bum look big in that? Yes, I love lard arses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You haven't got HIV have you?

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Your really are ugly arnt you

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By *xpresMan
over a year ago

Elland

You will like this my mom loves it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look at my socks....standing there all on there own"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never had this problem before...

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By *ob jonesMan
over a year ago

Wales

So... You said your daughter was 19... What's her phone number!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah your right they are spotless and so bright....i use vanish to rid my pants of skidmarks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look into my eyes...you are feeling sleepy...so so sleepy...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you look totally different than you do through my telescope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look into my eyes...you are feeling sleepy...so so sleepy..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow that was wonderful....now it was you who rang the repair line about your broken dishwasher ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man - Ahhhhhhhh soraaaahhrry (jerk, jerk, spasm) Ahhhhhhhh sorry I couldn't hold back any longer.

Woman - No it's fine honestly

Man - Right must be off, Chelsea United are on in a bit, do this again yeah?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you any scones and jam ? why ? Because my cum looks like clotted cream. Yummy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I use your toilet? I might be a while and you better open some windows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do admire a lady who doesnt care about her appearance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never liked the term stalker. I prefer to say that i have just been keeping an eye on you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I wear your skin?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

HERE'S JOHNNY !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HERE'S JOHNNY !!!"
WENDY !

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you ever considered Scientology ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You may want to give the rimming a miss I've had the squirts all day

"
ewww lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow ...did you here that echo...that echo...that echo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello...i represent the church of jehovah...do you believe in god.

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

I'm sorry you must have read my profile wrong. You want to put what where? No no no bend over bitch and bite on this gag......

*********************************

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Damn that pussy is really wide

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

"You look like my mum. "

That's the Mothers Day card I sent

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

[Removed by poster at 06/08/14 10:39:24]

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

"You haven't got HIV have you? On arrival"

You didn't used to have HIV did you? On departing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your sister swallows why dont you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Holy shit. It's amazing what you can do with photoshop these days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(quoting John Cleese in hospital in Fawlty Towers).....

My god, you're ugly!

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By *arehamMan
over a year ago

handforth

While fucking a woman say to her husband do you want a go!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is it in!

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Condoms....what are condoms ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"is it in!"

Who is asking who?

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

excuse me I need to apply some cream to my scabs..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"time for a sharp exit..."

Time for a sharp entrance!...

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By *eggaeloverMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Are you a private investigator? No photos please

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By *eggaeloverMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"Man - Ahhhhhhhh soraaaahhrry (jerk, jerk, spasm) Ahhhhhhhh sorry I couldn't hold back any longer.

Woman - No it's fine honestly

Man - Right must be off, Chelsea United are on in a bit, do this again yeah? "

Oh god I had a guy like that the other day, then he wouldn't suck me, poor guy he was so sorry, still my oral skills must be improving!

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By *r Man.Man
over a year ago

London

What's your name again?

(whilst shagging)

True story, lucky enough we both bust out laughing as she had forgotten mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lick that puss off my cock,bitch!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello, I'm the founder of the sandals and socks enthusiast group...

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Does this hankie smell of chloroform to you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shut up and get in the van!

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By *luezuluMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

Can I whack it up your arse first, that pussy looks as big as the Mersey tunnel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lick that puss off my cock,bitch!

Eeewwww

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you in yet?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Sucking cock is the best cure for PMS ever, it'll soon wipe that miserable look off your face.

Do more voluntary work and think of others - all I'm hearing is too much about your needs. Maybe you need to fuck yourself.

You are post menopause surely?

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By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

Is it me or can you smell cheese?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow that was good,

But lets see what the people in the chat room on fab thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it kippers for tea?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 06/08/14 17:49:07]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

wow, so it wasn't your camera that added those 10lbs on...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

holy fuck, you is ugly....

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By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

Marks out of ten. I give you a 4 for effort.

Can we start again, my web cams went down and they're paying me 15.99 a. Minute .

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I wouldn't say 'big boned': too big fridge maybe.....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I'm upto my elbow and you haven't even blinked....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm upto my elbow and you haven't even blinked...."

Her

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By *outhyorkshireMan
over a year ago

south yorkshire

you don't have aids do you?, no? O good i don't want to catch that again

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By *riskygazMan
over a year ago

birmingham

sorry I didn't have time to jump in the bath before I came, but I think my dick is quite clean, I did swill it under the tap after I fucked that bird earlier in the day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm upto my elbow and you haven't even blinked....

Her"
have you found my wristwatch from last time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm upto my elbow and you haven't even blinked....

Herhave you found my wristwatch from last time?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm upto my elbow and you haven't even blinked....

Herhave you found my wristwatch from last time?

"
pmsl

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

your skin is lovely and soft, that reminds me I need a new lampshade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does this hankie smell of chloroform to you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do admire a lady who doesnt care about her appearance."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mum's hot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got any cling film? I forgot me jonnies!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where would u like us to set up the film crew?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Damn that thing could sharpen a pencil"

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By *pples123456Man
over a year ago

Cardiff

"could you fart and give me a clue? "

lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need for lube ,im oozing with cum already

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hope you don't mind I brought my mate to hold the camera

Hope you don't mind I brought my mum to hold the camera

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

'You can visit me in London when you're thin!'

Fuck off wanker!

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land

Are you pregnant!!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"No need for lube ,im oozing with cum already

Hahaha!! Oh dear.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi! Nice to meet you. So, have you always been a woman?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I brought some conkers and some string

can we make are own anal beads

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By *3rial Thr1LL3rMan
over a year ago

aberdeenshire

Hang on, I'll just put a DVD on for the kids.

Do you mind if we turn the lights out? Why, do you think I'm ugly? No, just the bulb is burning my arse.

Can I borrow a twenty for the train home?

Do you mind if we go to the pub first, I'm going to need more alcohol.

Don't worry if my leg comes off, it does that sometimes. Just carry on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mum... what are you doing here??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know when I told you that I'm a pilot, well...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will you marry me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where would u like us to set up the film crew?

"
going to start off with girl on girl and supprise heres your mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whens the guy in the pics going to get here?"

Pmsl x

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"That will do pig. That will do"

Someone has said that to me. It made me laugh.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Man - Ahhhhhhhh soraaaahhrry (jerk, jerk, spasm) Ahhhhhhhh sorry I couldn't hold back any longer.

Woman - No it's fine honestly

Man - Right must be off, Chelsea United are on in a bit, do this again yeah? "

And that was pretty much my first sexual meet ever (not this site) when I gave up celibacy. Even the Chelsea detail is correct.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had better!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See you at work tomorrow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cash up front?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may want to go and see your doctor tomorrow.

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By *vsnikkiTV/TS
over a year ago

Limavady

"You know when I told you that I'm a pilot, well..."

That's ok. You know when I told you I didn't have lice, well...

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By *eggaeloverMan
over a year ago

Bristol

"I brought some conkers and some string

can we make are own anal beads

Lol well top points for the initiative!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I brought some conkers and some string

can we make are own anal beads

Lol well top points for the initiative!"

Any reference I have made about Anal beads in the last 4 days is because the word of the week thread

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"Go on folks, do your worst, and use your imagination.

have you washed your fanny,,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you got a sister?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to return some videotapes..."

Hahahahaha

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