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By *ovemenot OP   Woman
over a year ago

yeovil

So my children go to there dads every other weekend and 1/2 school holidays . They returned after a week with him on Sunday and he has said he doesn't want to see them again and to be honest their happy not to see him again . But this puts pay to me meeting from here as I don't meet with my kids in the house . I just wanted to ask other single mums how they meet . I don't have family that will have kids for me

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By *lwaysup4it69Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield


"So my children go to there dads every other weekend and 1/2 school holidays . They returned after a week with him on Sunday and he has said he doesn't want to see them again and to be honest their happy not to see him again . But this puts pay to me meeting from here as I don't meet with my kids in the house . I just wanted to ask other single mums how they meet . I don't have family that will have kids for me "

Is it possible for u to do some daytime meets while they are at school

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear this. He sounds like an arse.

Maybe you could make some sort of reciprocal arrangement with another mum for babysitting where you have her kids and she has yours sometimes. Then the kids get new friends out of it too? Maybe try messaging some other ladies on here, there must be other women locally in a similar situation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I too don’t have any family, their dad does have them every second weekend when he is living near he thinks nothing of leaving for months on end even up to a year so I find school time and daytime meets are the only way round this .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about us single dad's?

I have 3 and their mum rarely has them and never has them all at once. Thankfully my parents are happy to have my two youngest and my eldest stays at her boyfriends if I'm having someone here. Otherwise I meet a lady at her place or at a club...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kids stay with me no family around but thankfully I have 2 adult children who can babysit. I hope you manage to sort something out but you and your children sound better off without him. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's also difficult for families with both parents......we have the same issues....it's why we haven't met since the beginning of the year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't comment on this as my not so little ones have flown the nest.. Like others have suggested, daytime meets or clubs might benefit you..

Ps... Your ex sounds like a selfish idiot. How could he not want to see his children? The Fool !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite simply i dont meet..

I get the odd rare night out and i prefer to meet socially first so its a right pain in the bum.

Most of my nights without her i prefer to have a night out with friends than sex though. So much so im now on 18 months without any.

Hope you sort something out though x

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By *ovemenot OP   Woman
over a year ago

yeovil

Day time meets are out as I work think May have to face it no more play time for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my son lives with us so I cant see anyone in the evenings or at weekends.

maybe the kids dad will change his mind sometimes people find it hard to cope with their kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Day time meets are out as I work think May have to face it no more play time for me "

If they are of school age could u not team up with another single parent and organize sleep overs for the kids..

They will love it and you would get the odd night out.. in return the other single parent would too

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By *lwaysup4it69Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield


"Day time meets are out as I work think May have to face it no more play time for me "

Such a waste though

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Day time meets are out as I work think May have to face it no more play time for me "

Why don't you firstly try and resolve the most important issue and that is the whole father to your children issue..if that can be resolved maybe he will consider having the children, I'd much rather concentrate on that firstly then think about the meeting thing...good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Day time meets are out as I work think May have to face it no more play time for me "

do you really not know anyone that can babysit now and then???

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Day time meets are out as I work think May have to face it no more play time for me "

That's what annual leave is for

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By *unky-doryMan
over a year ago

the kingdom


"So my children go to there dads every other weekend and 1/2 school holidays . They returned after a week with him on Sunday and he has said he doesn't want to see them again and to be honest their happy not to see him again . But this puts pay to me meeting from here as I don't meet with my kids in the house . I just wanted to ask other single mums how they meet . I don't have family that will have kids for me "

One way to do it, is to team up with another single mum, who can babysit for you, and you for her.

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By *ovemenot OP   Woman
over a year ago

yeovil


"Day time meets are out as I work think May have to face it no more play time for me

Why don't you firstly try and resolve the most important issue and that is the whole father to your children issue..if that can be resolved maybe he will consider having the children, I'd much rather concentrate on that firstly then think about the meeting thing...good luck "

When my kids got home upset on Sunday my 1st thort wasn't " ooo no , no more swinging " it was to deal with there feelings and to try to find out what has gorn on this week . But that said this is not the 1st time my ex has dumped his kids . In 8 years he has been in and out 3 times doing a year here and there till he gets board or a new girl friend or the kids don't behave how he wants . So no this time I am not really willing to try and talk him or the kids in to trying again . It has just made me think today that this is going to make it hard to meet . I was asking how others do it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/08/14 08:21:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Day time meets are out as I work think May have to face it no more play time for me

Why don't you firstly try and resolve the most important issue and that is the whole father to your children issue..if that can be resolved maybe he will consider having the children, I'd much rather concentrate on that firstly then think about the meeting thing...good luck

When my kids got home upset on Sunday my 1st thort wasn't " ooo no , no more swinging " it was to deal with there feelings and to try to find out what has gorn on this week . But that said this is not the 1st time my ex has dumped his kids . In 8 years he has been in and out 3 times doing a year here and there till he gets board or a new girl friend or the kids don't behave how he wants . So no this time I am not really willing to try and talk him or the kids in to trying again . It has just made me think today that this is going to make it hard to meet . I was asking how others do it . "

They do it by rarely meeting and getting a babysitter when they do.

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By *ovemenot OP   Woman
over a year ago

yeovil


"Day time meets are out as I work think May have to face it no more play time for me

That's what annual leave is for "

I like useing my holiday to spend time with my children and I take it in school time to save on child care costs

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Day time meets are out as I work think May have to face it no more play time for me

Why don't you firstly try and resolve the most important issue and that is the whole father to your children issue..if that can be resolved maybe he will consider having the children, I'd much rather concentrate on that firstly then think about the meeting thing...good luck

When my kids got home upset on Sunday my 1st thort wasn't " ooo no , no more swinging " it was to deal with there feelings and to try to find out what has gorn on this week . But that said this is not the 1st time my ex has dumped his kids . In 8 years he has been in and out 3 times doing a year here and there till he gets board or a new girl friend or the kids don't behave how he wants . So no this time I am not really willing to try and talk him or the kids in to trying again . It has just made me think today that this is going to make it hard to meet . I was asking how others do it . "

Easy tiger I wasn't having a dig, I was just offering a bit of advice..I don't know the situation with you and your ex.good luck and I'm sure you will come up with a solution so you can meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people are so quick to judge.

Just because someone is asking a question about one element of a personal issue why do people think it's acceptable to point out that there is another element they should be thinking about.

Basically assuming she isn't thinking about her children first!

I'm pretty sure most parents will ALWAYS put their children first no matter what, however it does not mean that as a parent you aren't entitled to have a life or have needs/wants.

At the end of the day all this lady is doing is asking advice. Her normal lifestyle is going to have to change due to personal circumstances, she was merely asking what other people do in similar ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people are so quick to judge.

Just because someone is asking a question about one element of a personal issue why do people think it's acceptable to point out that there is another element they should be thinking about.

Basically assuming she isn't thinking about her children first!

I'm pretty sure most parents will ALWAYS put their children first no matter what, however it does not mean that as a parent you aren't entitled to have a life or have needs/wants.

At the end of the day all this lady is doing is asking advice. Her normal lifestyle is going to have to change due to personal circumstances, she was merely asking what other people do in similar ones."

I think that is the problem with providing too much information. If the OP had just asked the question without any personal information it would be easier to focus on the question and not the irrelevant back story, maybe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people are so quick to judge.

Just because someone is asking a question about one element of a personal issue why do people think it's acceptable to point out that there is another element they should be thinking about.

Basically assuming she isn't thinking about her children first!

I'm pretty sure most parents will ALWAYS put their children first no matter what, however it does not mean that as a parent you aren't entitled to have a life or have needs/wants.

At the end of the day all this lady is doing is asking advice. Her normal lifestyle is going to have to change due to personal circumstances, she was merely asking what other people do in similar ones."

True words, but no one has been judgemental as of yet...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what about sleepovers at friends houses one weekend they stay at the friends house next weekend you have their friends over to yours for one, its what i usually do its why my playtimes are few and far between

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Taking all previously stateted into consideration; budget for and take a day off work ?

I have noticed that people local to kestrels, abfabs daytime event, meet/visit there during the day. If simular local establishments appeal this maybe an option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people are so quick to judge.

Just because someone is asking a question about one element of a personal issue why do people think it's acceptable to point out that there is another element they should be thinking about.

Basically assuming she isn't thinking about her children first!

I'm pretty sure most parents will ALWAYS put their children first no matter what, however it does not mean that as a parent you aren't entitled to have a life or have needs/wants.

At the end of the day all this lady is doing is asking advice. Her normal lifestyle is going to have to change due to personal circumstances, she was merely asking what other people do in similar ones."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are any of the children in nursery or after school club? I found my sons sitter when he was in nursery, as she worked there with him. Often, if you ask around the girls will be able to help. And they're known to you and the children. Failing that, do you have a close friend that could help you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite simply i dont meet. I have 2 year old twins. Their dad has never met them, and while i have family that could help they very rarely do (understandable as it was my decision to continue the pregnancy not theirs)

So i have taken a back seat from meeting, but i continue to chat, make friends etc so if the opportunity presents itself i feel comfortable to meet. It means i go long periods without sex but my children are much more important than getting laid.

One positive of this situation is that the guys who truly want to meet because they like you will wait and those that dont will disappear, so you wont have to worry too much about being let down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't meet then lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This ex of your seems like a real arse. As a father I cannot understand a man who disowns his own kids. Truly shameful!! If the dad does not even want to see his kids, how could he take good care of them. I would not trust the kids with him if he is this sort of 'man'.

We have young kids at home and normal evenings out, adult holidays and meets are not easy because of the logistics involved in finding someone to babysit the kids. We don't have family in the UK so we have to rely on friends to take the kids so we can have a break or some fun on our own. Do not despair - it's not easy but it's doable. you are not alone in this situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have two toddlers , they haven't seen their dad for 12months by his own choice.

Fortunately for me I have older girls who help & allow me to have a social life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the children are back at school, as others have said, maybe do meets in the daytime. If that is feasible. If not, hopefully you can find a reliable babysitter or friend with similar age children and you can help each other out occasionally. Much easier, if you can meet someone who can accommodate at theirs or meet at a club. Not always easy, but doable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose that you knew your own answer before asking the question.

the feedback was given by all and sundry ( inc myself) is down to our own window of life we look out of.

Life is very rarely fair and it seems ur paying a heavy penalty for your ex attitude towards his children

But for all the social and fun meets u will miss , i promise you that time spent with your kids is a million more valuable to you.

You will get your rewards when your children grow up and are happy and balanced and this is down to u and u alone and that feeling is stronger than any meet !!!!

stay strong and keep the faith

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some people are so quick to judge.

Just because someone is asking a question about one element of a personal issue why do people think it's acceptable to point out that there is another element they should be thinking about.

Basically assuming she isn't thinking about her children first!

I'm pretty sure most parents will ALWAYS put their children first no matter what, however it does not mean that as a parent you aren't entitled to have a life or have needs/wants.

At the end of the day all this lady is doing is asking advice. Her normal lifestyle is going to have to change due to personal circumstances, she was merely asking what other people do in similar ones. "

great words strong and true

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