FabSwingers.com forum: Quotes!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Quotes!!

********

As Dean Martin once said:

"YOUR NOT DRUNK IF U CAN LIE ON THE FLOOR WITHOUT HOLDING ON"

lol lol

i find that really odd myself

But------

I LIKE DEAN MARTIN ,,,,,I LIKE JAMES MARTIN,,,AND EVEN LIKE ASTON MARTIN ,,,BUT WHICH IS BETTER???

only 1 way to find out-

FIGHT!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Self-denial is the shining sore on the leprous body of Christianity.......Oscar Wilde

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It a tale told by a idiot,full of sound and fury,signifying nothing.

(macbeth)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn ......George Bernard Shaw

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have seen better faces in my time than stands alone on any shoulder that i see before me at this instant.

(king lear) lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thou smell of a mountain goat------HENRY V

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I know a little bit about a lot , but not a lot about much " me ,, when pissed a few years ago trying to pull a lady ,, i think it worked ,, 5 weeks later we moved in together

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"" I know a little bit about a lot , but not a lot about much " me ,, when pissed a few years ago trying to pull a lady ,, i think it worked ,, 5 weeks later we moved in together "

Fabulous my old china!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom...William Blake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friends are as companions on a journey, who ought to aid each other to persevere in the road to a happier life.....Pythagoras

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In a world full of many diffeent colours"-----willy wonka! ( n the chocolate factory--70s version)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible....Francis Of Assissi

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He wears his faith but the fashion of his hat;it ever changes with the next block.

(much ado bout nothing)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Frank settled down in the Valley,

and he hung his wild years on a

nail that he drove through his

wife's forehead....Tom Waits (Frank's Wild Years)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a man is not complete until he is married....then he is finished

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

GET THEE TO A NUNNERY!

-hamlet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant............Henry Miller

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thou art unfit for any but hell.

Richard III (3rd)

sounds like this site ,,lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same....Oscar Wilde

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ye have angels faces but heaven knows your heart.

(Henry VIII)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thou monstrous injurer of heaven and earth!

-king john

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

enough shakespeare already..reminds me of my english o level

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Art can never exist without naked beauty displayed..Blake again

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah but its bloody funny! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up. ..Robert Frost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shakespearezzzzzzzzzzzzz

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She is spherical , like a globe.

I could find out countries in her.

(the comedy of errors)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's the wise thrush; he sings each song twice over, lest you should think he never could recapture the first fine careless rapture!....Robert Browning

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Heaven truely Knows that thou are as false as hell.

(othello)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Idol of idiot - worshippers.

(troilus and cressida)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dreams are more real than reality itself, they're closer to the self...Gao Xingjian

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't got a huge cock, but with 16 stone behind it, you'll know it's in

Jack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone once told me that time is a predator that stalked us all our lives. But I rather believe that time is a companion who goes with us on the journey that reminds us to cherish every moment because they'll never come again."

~ Capt. Jean-Luc Picard, Starship Enterprise,

somewhere in the Alpha Quadrant Stardate: 44999.9 (2367 to you and me)

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Get thee to a nunnery.....shakespeare

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

The art of love is to love - nothing more nothing less. Oscar wilde

I can resist everything except temptation Oscar wilde

We are all in the gutter but some of us are staring at the stars oscar wilde

The road to hell is paved with good intensions dont know who said that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it infamy!!

~ Kenneth Williams, Carry on Cleo.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"id rather have my cunt sewn up" _emmefatale

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""id rather have my cunt sewn up" _emmefatale

threading needle here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its not the cough that stops u coughing ,it the coffin they carry u off in!! lol

(The whole uk)

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

""id rather have my cunt sewn up" _emmefatale

threading needle here

"
cheeky bugger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yes, we are a right pair of bastards...in my case, it's an accident of birth, but you, my friend are a self made man" .....Lee Marvin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""id rather have my cunt sewn up" _emmefatale

threading needle here

Hey, that beats my fantasy of labia rings and padlocks!! Can I fookin watch!!! Purleease!! Pretty purleease!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The road to hell is paved with good intensions dont know who said that"

Saint Bernard of Clairvaux

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He gave a cough ,,his head fell off n floated down the river! (classic)

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

""id rather have my cunt sewn up" _emmefatale

threading needle here

Hey, that beats my fantasy of labia rings and padlocks!! Can I fookin watch!!! Purleease!! Pretty purleease!!

"
only if your very very bad....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what the fuck was that?"

Mayor of Hiroshima

08:15 Aug 06 1945

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cut in half --- i have the 2 end bits"

(my grandad 80s,,90s)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"watch where you're pointing that, you'll have some fuckers eye out"

Harold 1066

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

If Harry Potter's so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldnt need a broomstick to cling onto.

-- Frankie Boyle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love this one..."From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 10 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away.” Raymond Chandler

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Fuck off and don't come back - the ex, many ex's i suspect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“It seems, in fact, as though the second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has accumulated during the first half” Dostoyevsky

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure.

Marquis de Sade

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

WELL ITS THE HIGH CHAIR 4 U MUSHROOM! LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if you think that's going up my arse, you are very much mistaken"

Jack...when Kate bought the strapon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WTF is that???!!!!!....local farmer as he drove past my window the other day to see me standing there naked....hoping it was bhis daughter in the tractor

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"WTF is that???!!!!!....local farmer as he drove past my window the other day to see me standing there naked....hoping it was bhis daughter in the tractor

ooooooer missus,,,Strange one that.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"brace yaself love" A yorkshiremans diary

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

""if you think that's going up my arse, you are very much mistaken"

Jack...when Kate bought the strapon"

Bend over ya big wuss.

Kate lol

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

This is my favourite ever quote

Woman's destiny is to be wanton, like the bitch, the she-wolf; she must belong to all who claim her.

Marquis de Sade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"of course it will fucking hurt, that's why I bought it"

Kate...after she bought the strapon

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Strange one made up here:

window is a window ,,,door is a door,,wots the pain with a bit more! lol

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Said in response to a query (from the wife) about moving because we didnt get on with our neighbours "There are angels and arseholes everywhere, only the faces and names change".

I am claiming it as my own, as I honestly think I came up with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician ~ unknown

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Said in response to a query (from the wife) about moving because we didnt get on with our neighbours "There are angels and arseholes everywhere, only the faces and names change".

I am claiming it as my own, as I honestly think I came up with it.

Yeah thats 2rite!

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Is it wetter under water, if you're there when it rains?

Leroy Pullins

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is made to our own special reciepe...packed with tomatoes to create a delicious soup thats bursting with flavour...

(Heinz Tomatoe Soup) 2010 lol lol

amo

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"I'm Spartacus" - everyone except Spartacus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dad?"

"Yes, Princess?"

"How does the road know where we're going?"

~ My daughter on the M25 circa 8 years ago, aged 4.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

£1500 plus Vat to replace 4 hardwood ( oh really ) double glazed windows, including a bay window.

good value or not?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thats bad value i reckon,,,,anyway this is a quote thread by me ,,not shabby windows one.lol

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"thats bad value i reckon,,,,anyway this is a quote thread by me ,,not shabby windows one.lol

"thouest shouldn't taketh things too seriously"

leroy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Out of all the quotes i ever seen so far---no1 has said this one:

"NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISTION"

lol (classic monty python)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" Fork Handles"

"four candles"

lol lol

(2 ronnies) sheer classic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I believe in two things: discipline and the Bible. Here you'll receive both. Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me. Welcome to Shawshank."

~ Warden Samuel Norton

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" is that it ?? " my first love ,, when she saw my lil dick

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

IF AT 1ST U DONT SUCCEED ----TRY TRY AGAIN.

(not sure who said that)

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Veni, vidi, vici - Julius Caesar

Vidi, veni, dormivi - mushroom

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"IF AT 1ST U DONT SUCCEED ----TRY TRY AGAIN.

(not sure who said that)

Nothing succeeds like a toothless budgie.

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"Sit down you, twat" - man 3 rows behind at the theatre

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By *INKKKYMan
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL/ WIRRAL

Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"" Fork Handles"

"four candles"

lol lol

(2 ronnies) sheer classic!

looki it up on you tube ,,,, lol still has me in stitches "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What is your malfunction, you fat barrel of monkey spunk?"

~ Captain Hadley, Shawshank Redemtion.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying"

~ Andy Dufresne, Shawshank Redemption.

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By *INKKKYMan
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL/ WIRRAL

"Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt! "
President A. Lincon

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don't do yourself down, your body is very feminine.

(sharp dressed man ---today! lol)

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By *yber pimpMan
over a year ago

durham area

you cant have piles, such a perfect arsehole couldnt have.

my ex just prior to becoming my ex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Dad?"

"Yes, Princess?"

"How does the road know where we're going?"

~ My daughter on the M25 circa 8 years ago, aged 4.

lol bless,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""I believe in two things: discipline and the Bible. Here you'll receive both. Put your trust in the Lord; your ass belongs to me. Welcome to Shawshank."

~ Warden Samuel Norton"

Brilliant film one of my favourites

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

me n my mate from the 90s used to say how do u know when to go on a round-a-about? lol lol

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

“Womankind more joy discovers, Making fools, than keeping lovers”

John Wilmot (2nd Earl of Rochester)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in.

Confucius

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I've been quoted alongside Shakespeare!

Wait till I show my mum!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better a bald head than no head at all. ~ Austin O'Malley

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“Womankind more joy discovers, Making fools, than keeping lovers”

John Wilmot (2nd Earl of Rochester)"

Do we need to talk lol?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They think its all over" !! It is Now!! now!!

(1966 reporter for england match)

Sheer Golden Classic!

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

""They think its all over" !! It is Now!! now!!

(1966 reporter for england match)

Sheer Golden Classic!

Updated for the 2010's :

"some people are on the pitch, they think they're international class footballers"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah too rite! but they are not! lol lol

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

Some more Oscar Wilde quotes:

"I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability."

"Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed."

"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast."

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

Frank Zappa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what is the source of our first suffering? it lies in the fact we hesitate to speak.it was born in the moment we accumulated silent things within us" gaston bachelard.Hx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i am dying,but otherwise i am quite well". edith sitwell. Hx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/06/10 04:20:31]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2always forgive your enemies:nothing annoys them so much". oscar wide. Hx

typo in post....well it is late!lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ooops! another typo,its very late,lol! Hx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"its the friends you can call up at 4am that matter". marlene dietrich. Hx

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Northants

[Removed by poster at 19/06/10 12:03:07]

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Northants

Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity

Anon (on a ladies toilet wall!)

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"If things don't change they will stay as they are"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"fuck off you dirty son of a whore" Nicolas Anelka 2010

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton

"that was vince on the phone, he,s had both legs blown off by a landmine and he phones in sick , what a man "

corporal h jones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Now! Where's those true men.....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What fucking iceberg? Captain of the Titanic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better to be thought an idiot than to open your mouth and prove you are one.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Whats the offside rule again - my mate who does my fecking head in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What football competition".

Everyone in Scotland.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Archers?

King Harold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guinness makes you d*unk

Brendan Behan

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"D'evenin Ossifa"

Me on a saturday night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a cunning Plan

S Baldrick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We do cut-glass sherry decanters complete with six glasses on a silver-plated tray your butler can serve you drinks on, all for £4.95. People say how can you sell this for such a low price? I say because it is total crap."

"We even sell a pair of gold earrings for under £1, which is cheaper than a prawn sandwich from Marks & Spencer. But I have to say that the sandwich will probably last longer than the earrings."

Gerald Ratner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."

****

"Only two things are infinte, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

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By *lumsy colinMan
over a year ago

basingstoke

This one by Oscar Wilde

"Men always want to be a womans first but a womans view is different. They want to be your last...."

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By *ig badMan
over a year ago

Up North :-)

You can have everything in life that you want if you just give enough other people what they want.

Zig Ziglar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What fucking iceberg? Captain of the Titanic."

"What the fuck was that!"

~ Mayor of Hiroshima.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Everyone says this-:

Who needs enemies ,,,when u got friends like u! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where did all these fucking indians come from?"

~ George Armstrong Custer, Little Big Horn.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A HORSE! A HORSE! MY KINGDOM FOR A HORSE"!!

(sum medival person lol)

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"man who shits on weighbridge does business on large scale"

Confucious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""A HORSE! A HORSE! MY KINGDOM FOR A HORSE"!!

(sum medival person lol)

That would be Richard III, from Shakespeare.

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By *INKKKYMan
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL/ WIRRAL

The great Bob Paisley on those poor prima donna footballers not getting enough praise!! ''The ones that mind dont matter and the ones that dont mind matter!''

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"man who shits on weighbridge does business on large scale"

Confucious."

"Man who go bed itchy arse, wake up smelly finger."

~ Confucious.

"Man who walk with hands in pocket feel cocky all day."

~Confucious.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I closed my eyes drew back the curtain woooooo to see 4 certain any dream will dooo"! lol

(joseph technicolour dream coat)

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By *lumsy colinMan
over a year ago

basingstoke

Its one small step for man one giant leap for mankind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my karma ran over your dogma is my favourite

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By *lumsy colinMan
over a year ago

basingstoke

That _abio capello looks like a good candidate some twat at the fa

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah is that ure quote 4 the fa then?

not as good as this,,,Your as young as u feel! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

stupidity got us into this stupidity will get us out of it- homer simpsons

i would rather be loathed for who i am than loved for who im not- kurt kobain

got a few others lurkin about but those are my favourite! x

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

An improper mind is a perpetual feast

- Logan Pearsall Smith 1931

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

"Don't knock masturbation -after all it's sex with someone you love"

- Woody Allen

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

"Life is a sexually-transmitted disease"

- graffitti

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh yeah----

classic simpsons-

HOMER--------DOH! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to get back my youth i would do anything in the world, except take exercise or get up early or be responsible

oscar wilde

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By *leasureseanyMan
over a year ago

hull

smoke me a kipper i will be back for breakfast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you can't be good be careful, if you can't be careful buy a pram."

my dad's

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

ich liebe dick

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By *uton_coupleCouple
over a year ago

luton

i have no plans to increase VAT

david cammy knickers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

drive like your going to meet yourself coming the other way!

Live life like you going to die tomorrow, but farm like your going to live forever

My Granddad

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By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

You'll NEVER win anything with kids................Alan Hanson... a peach of a quote

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The world is your oyster but your futures a clan.

Mr Paul Weller.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure."

Agent Smith

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I brought more soldiers than you"

King Leonidas

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

give a man a fish.... feed him for a day

Teach a man to fish.... feed him for life!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

oooh..... a friend is just a stranger you haven't met yet...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

man who sticks his cock in fireplace is fucking grate

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

the ideal female.is a lady in the dining room,and a whore in the bedroom.

rudyard kipling ?

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Get all your shagging done before your 40

My Dad

Steve

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