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Best (or worst) insults.

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By *alandNita OP   Couple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Hi all, Inspired by a comment I read on another thread, what are the best/most witty insults you've heard?

I'll start... "If you want to be a smart arse you need to be smart. .. otherwise you're just an arse"

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By *alandNita OP   Couple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I do also quite like "she's not tier than squirrel poo"... from one of the Hairy Potter books

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The insult I hate the most is "oh, you do remind me of graham norton!"

Just di we are clear, I look, act and sound nothin like grahm fucking norton!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

From a drill instructor, to a well mannered recruit...

Oi, stop pretending you was brought up proper, you wernt even born, you was wanked onto a gatepost and hatched in the sun!

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By *picyspiregirlCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield

The best I heard was from the singer in a pub band to a woman heckler.......

"When I first saw you I got a semi on, ......I had a raging hard on before I saw you!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My old manager to a stroppy driver.. You weren't born normally, you condensed from the steam of a prostitutes piss .. Same driver was also told , you're so fat you put your belt on with a boomerang..classic lol,,he wasn't even fat

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By *anddancer79Man
over a year ago

south tyne

Said by a d*unk to a female colleague

" what was the mistake with your face "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

eh,,,,,if I had a face like yours id teach my arse to speak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw a comedian in a club put down a loud d*unken woman who kept calling out the punchlines.

He stopped his act and leaned on the mike and said "Give me a chance here please madam, I am only trying to earn a living. Do I come round to your house when you are working, and turn the red light out?"

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

I've come to battle wits with you... but I see you are unarmed.

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

I would call you a C**T, but you don't have the depth or the warmth

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

It looks like a cock only smaller

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May your ear holes turn to arseholes and shit all over your shoulders

If wit was shit you'd be constipated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woman says to man during sex: Blimey, haven't you got a small organ!

Man replies: Well it's never played at the albert hall before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks like you fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, Saving Private Ryan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks like you fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, Saving Private Ryan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/07/14 23:30:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my faves is

"if I had a dog with a face like yours I'd shave it's arse and teach to walk backwards"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You all look like a bunch of retards fuck a doorknob out there."

Dodgeball

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You, sir, are d*unk!"

"And you madame are ugly. I shall, in the morning be sober..."

Winston Churchill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're so dumb you sit on the tv and watch the couch! - Silas Robertson.

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