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UK HEADLINES FOR - THE YEAR 2030

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By *aravancouple OP   Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions.

White minorities still trying to have English recognised as the UK 's third language.

Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'....... Tolerance urged.

Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a Burqa.

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct, and the scientific research fleet are unemployed. UK Government has told the Japanese that Grey Squirrels taste like whale meat.

Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness.

Professor Goldman of LUPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.

Britain 's deficit £10 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time.

Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Iran still isolated. Physicists estimate at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries.

No other country comes forward.

Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.

Post Office raises price of stamps to £18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

After a ten-year, £75.8 billion study commissioned by the Labour Party, scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime.

Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.

Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.

Bradford Muslim City win FA Cup Final, beating Halifax Hindu Hornets 4-1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol very good.. think there might be truth to a few of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have England won the World Cup ?

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By *aravancouple OP   Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love


"Have England won the World Cup ?"
No

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women out-number men on fab by 10 to 1.

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By *aravancouple OP   Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love


"Women out-number men on fab by 10 to 1.

"

I don't think so

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By *xpresMan
over a year ago

Elland

House price's at record high a 1 bed flat in Bradford center is snapped up 1.3 million.

The greenhouse effect was once & forall proven to be a myth by the makers of wind farms and solar panels.

Prime minister Jeremy Kyle said today that DNA testing and lie detector tests on his popular shows have been flawed because he was only after audience figures and not the truth.. He added he will be stepping down to spend more time with dogs after his wife left him sighting his drug abuse & large number of paternity cases the reason for the split..

Sir Elton John has announced his next final tour

Sport..

England manager Wayne Rooney is to step aside after England failed to qualify for the world cup losing all qualification games to Scotland San Marino Luxembourg and Gibraltar. We tracked him down to Sexy mature Ediths massage parlor he wasn't available for comment Edith 92 said he was up stairs n not comming out she added "he only cums when i got me teeth out"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything the entire earth's population earned over the last 10 years given to relatively unknown banker Fred Bloggs as a well earned bonus for his role in bankrupting every business on the planet including his own bank.

But not to worry as....in other news...

Entire world enthralled by utterly meaningless YouTube video collection of silly fart jokes that goes on for 5 years.

and...

Bright flashy thing in the shape of celebrity Zero-1's cosmetically enlarged nipple seen momentarily in irrelevant man's rear view mirror.

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

Pope Tony Blair wins nobel peace prize

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By *aravancouple OP   Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love


"House price's at record high a 1 bed flat in Bradford center is snapped up 1.3 million.

The greenhouse effect was once & forall proven to be a myth by the makers of wind farms and solar panels.

Prime minister Jeremy Kyle said today that DNA testing and lie detector tests on his popular shows have been flawed because he was only after audience figures and not the truth.. He added he will be stepping down to spend more time with dogs after his wife left him sighting his drug abuse & large number of paternity cases the reason for the split..

Sir Elton John has announced his next final tour

Sport..

England manager Wayne Rooney is to step aside after England failed to qualify for the world cup losing all qualification games to Scotland San Marino Luxembourg and Gibraltar. We tracked him down to Sexy mature Ediths massage parlor he wasn't available for comment Edith 92 said he was up stairs n not comming out she added "he only cums when i got me teeth out"

"

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By *aravancouple OP   Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love


"Pope Tony Blair wins nobel peace prize"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women out-number men on fab by 10 to 1.

"

And the guys still can't get a meet.

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By *xpresMan
over a year ago

Elland

Lord Justin Bieber slams the new pop idol for acting like a "petulant spoiled brat" a scorce close to Lord Bieber said never in my day..

The Leaked sex tape of Queen Kate with the 3 members of the household cavalry was "a mistake" The king has forgiven his wife a member of the palace said kate didn't mean it...

Fords 1st zero gravity zero Imations car will go onsale early next year the Zoom will have a price tag of £2000 000 10th time mayor of London Big Borris said the met have 15 on order..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/07/14 14:54:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Israel bombs Palestinians

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By *inCity BluesMan
over a year ago

London

Iraq War Inquiry continues into its 20th year. British PM Euan Blair denies witholding evidence that would incriminate his father Tony.

War in the Middle East continues. As Israel responds to name-calling by Palestinian youths with a nuclear strike on Gaza City, Middle East peace envoy Tony Blair is spotted at David and Victoria Beckham's pearl wedding anniversary.

England crash out of the 2030 World Cup Finals after failing to beat minnows Tuvalu. England captain Mohammed Yusuf declares himself "sick as a camel" at team's exit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anniversary of The Queens death

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

English Society has become world famous for being open minded, non-discriminatory and welcoming to all peoples of diverse backgrounds. It is no longer Islamophobic or suspects the worst of immigrants. The Daily Heil has nothing more to print.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Average penis size is now 10"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Police Academy 340 sweeps the board at the oscar's

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

newcastle win a trophy.....

no! who am i kidding!!!!

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By *aravancouple OP   Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love


"Lord Justin Bieber slams the new pop idol for acting like a "petulant spoiled brat" a scorce close to Lord Bieber said never in my day..

The Leaked sex tape of Queen Kate with the 3 members of the household cavalry was "a mistake" The king has forgiven his wife a member of the palace said kate didn't mean it...

Fords 1st zero gravity zero Imations car will go onsale early next year the Zoom will have a price tag of £2000 000 10th time mayor of London Big Borris said the met have 15 on order..

"

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By *aravancouple OP   Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love


"Average penis size is now 10" "
I wish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Computer virus from spam messages kills thousands.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Husband and wife actors Michael Fassbender and James Macavoy clone Sir Alec Guinness and Peter O'Toole.

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