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Is it my age?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I used to find swinging so much more fun, it wasn't particularly hard to find women that I was excited to chat to, and getting meets wasn't particularly difficult either. For over a year now however, I've been struggling to find what I really want - there's very few women I'm particularly attracted to anymore, and those I find who I do feel excited by seem a lot less enthusiastic to chat than they once did years ago.

I don't know if guys in their 30s are considered less attractive than those in their 20s, has anyone else had similar experiences?

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I suppose it all depends what you are looking for really. On one level, people in their 30s may have more commitments and demands on their time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Possibly, but then I've met women from across a broad age range, and didn't find any in particular that seemed busier than the others.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

OP, you've posted this same dilemma in a number of different ways over the last few months.

Perhaps you should take a little break and think about what you are really looking for, here and in life.

If you decide to give this another go you still have your profile, verifications and there will be old hags like me who will remember you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Update profile

And go for older

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

As one of the older fab members I never had any problem with getting meets, so I don't think age has anything to do with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As one of the older fab members I never had any problem with getting meets, so I don't think age has anything to do with it

"

That's about it nothing to do with age its an ability to communicate, get someones interest and having a bit about yourself in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe working out what you want first might be a massive help to your situation..

Recently youve turned into a wet drip.. just constant niggles and being unsettled, Rarely anything positive.

Luckily for you only a sml percentage of fab use the forums but even your profile doesnt have a spark or anything stand out. You just blend in with the rest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you only looking on here and socialising within the same circles?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Update profile

And go for older"

I can understand the suggestion to try revamping his profile but telling him to look for something other than what he wants doesn't seem too helpful.

We want what we want.

The question is why he can't find what he wants. Choosing to look for something different or expanding his search criteria is not going provide good results if that's not what he wants.

If the post was about someone being unable to find a shop selling a certain item, would you try to advise where/how to find it or would you say "oh well, buy something else"?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I used to find swinging so much more fun, it wasn't particularly hard to find women that I was excited to chat to, and getting meets wasn't particularly difficult either. For over a year now however, I've been struggling to find what I really want - there's very few women I'm particularly attracted to anymore, and those I find who I do feel excited by seem a lot less enthusiastic to chat than they once did years ago.

I don't know if guys in their 30s are considered less attractive than those in their 20s, has anyone else had similar experiences?"

Perhaps it's not your age itself but how you have changed in the last 10 years.

Or maybe you are focusing too much on a particular "selling point", (in your case, the size of your cock. A lot of women simply don't care about that).

It's easy to blame a particular factor - I'm too old/young/fat/whatever rather than looking to yourself for other potential, more personal issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm feeling the same, I'm choosing not to meet for a while, work and social life is a little crazy so just can't be bothered, take some you time, sounds like you need it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"it wasn't particularly hard to find women that I was excited to chat to...

For over a year now...there's very few women I'm particularly attracted to anymore"

That's it, there's you done You had lots of eagerness and enthusiasm, now you don't. 31 is not really so massively a different age bracket than 20s, unless you only ever talked to and met people that fetishized youth.

From your profile you sound like you've used swinging not only for kicks but also for self-exploration. The deeper you get into an activity the more nuanced the activity gets. Whereas when you joined you were open to and eager to try a whole gamut of experiences and possibilities, you are now closed to your run-of-the-mill encounter and only chase something that is particular to you, more rarefied but not necessarily more specific. You've just been "accused" of not knowing what you want, perhaps you do, perhaps you don't - the fact is that it is very hard to communicate these more abstract desires on a platform which is primarily designed to simply get your rocks off.

From a self-exploration point of _iew perhaps swinging has no more to offer to you you've run the course/finished the game; perhaps you've simply "levelled up" and need to adjust your approach accordingly. If you predominantly use the net for your contacts, a change of site can breathe some fresh air into your game. But really, as already suggested you gotta re_iew why you're still at it, because whatever was driving you in your twenties is not what is driving you now.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'm 43 and outside some peoples age range. Nothing I can do about it. Why worry over things you have no control over.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Patterns of attraction exist that are greater norms than the outliers such as 18 year olds with lust for 90 year olds. If youre going against the grain it is tougher or impossible to satisfy your needs until you change something. Flogging a dead horse can be turned into pursuit of glue making, unless the bottom of that market has dropped out of it. Has the op improved his fitness, dress sense and involvement in the swinging world etc? Usually the simplest answer is correct and perhaps the op is not as attractive as he once was or something has changed. It is a much more competitive market place now for single guys, so constant development of ourselves and approach is important. I have not read the whole thread so have not seen all info here. Only we can understand ourselves best, so I think the op should take a long hard look at himself, where he has been and is now, as well as what he wants. Usually those with the greatest flexibility will manage to survive best in a changing world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"it wasn't particularly hard to find women that I was excited to chat to...

For over a year now...there's very few women I'm particularly attracted to anymore

That's it, there's you done You had lots of eagerness and enthusiasm, now you don't. 31 is not really so massively a different age bracket than 20s, unless you only ever talked to and met people that fetishized youth.

From your profile you sound like you've used swinging not only for kicks but also for self-exploration. The deeper you get into an activity the more nuanced the activity gets. Whereas when you joined you were open to and eager to try a whole gamut of experiences and possibilities, you are now closed to your run-of-the-mill encounter and only chase something that is particular to you, more rarefied but not necessarily more specific. You've just been "accused" of not knowing what you want, perhaps you do, perhaps you don't - the fact is that it is very hard to communicate these more abstract desires on a platform which is primarily designed to simply get your rocks off.

From a self-exploration point of _iew perhaps swinging has no more to offer to you you've run the course/finished the game; perhaps you've simply "levelled up" and need to adjust your approach accordingly. If you predominantly use the net for your contacts, a change of site can breathe some fresh air into your game. But really, as already suggested you gotta re_iew why you're still at it, because whatever was driving you in your twenties is not what is driving you now."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like you have just gone a bit stale. Re-write your profile and reflect what you want now.

Delete all your photos as well and take new ones.

A fresh outlook and approach might bring back your enthusiasm.

The good news is you still have a big cock.

The bad news is your age is only going to increase.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe ( as obviously I don't know you ) swinging isn't doing it for you anymore, maybe you're subconsciously looking for something else like a relationship....

just a thought!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging for a number of years can leave you feeling jaded. Maybe a rest is a good idea. Then if you feel like reengaging you can come back rejuvenated and with a fresh approach.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"it wasn't particularly hard to find women that I was excited to chat to...

For over a year now...there's very few women I'm particularly attracted to anymore

That's it, there's you done You had lots of eagerness and enthusiasm, now you don't. 31 is not really so massively a different age bracket than 20s, unless you only ever talked to and met people that fetishized youth.

From your profile you sound like you've used swinging not only for kicks but also for self-exploration. The deeper you get into an activity the more nuanced the activity gets. Whereas when you joined you were open to and eager to try a whole gamut of experiences and possibilities, you are now closed to your run-of-the-mill encounter and only chase something that is particular to you, more rarefied but not necessarily more specific. You've just been "accused" of not knowing what you want, perhaps you do, perhaps you don't - the fact is that it is very hard to communicate these more abstract desires on a platform which is primarily designed to simply get your rocks off.

From a self-exploration point of _iew perhaps swinging has no more to offer to you you've run the course/finished the game; perhaps you've simply "levelled up" and need to adjust your approach accordingly. If you predominantly use the net for your contacts, a change of site can breathe some fresh air into your game. But really, as already suggested you gotta re_iew why you're still at it, because whatever was driving you in your twenties is not what is driving you now."

I really enjoyed reading your response, and think you may be right. I often think back affectionately to a number of the meets I've had, women I met and how much I enjoyed being with them, but now I'm wondering if my enjoyment of those experiences was increased because at the time, swinging was still pretty fresh to me, these fun experiences were newer and all the more exciting for it?

I'd been wondering for a long time how I can go about finding that sense of excitement, adventure and fulfilment again x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your still young you wont be middle aged till your 40.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"

I'd been wondering for a long time how I can go about finding that sense of excitement, adventure and fulfilment again x"

You need to move the goalposts I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"it wasn't particularly hard to find women that I was excited to chat to...

For over a year now...there's very few women I'm particularly attracted to anymore

That's it, there's you done You had lots of eagerness and enthusiasm, now you don't. 31 is not really so massively a different age bracket than 20s, unless you only ever talked to and met people that fetishized youth.

From your profile you sound like you've used swinging not only for kicks but also for self-exploration. The deeper you get into an activity the more nuanced the activity gets. Whereas when you joined you were open to and eager to try a whole gamut of experiences and possibilities, you are now closed to your run-of-the-mill encounter and only chase something that is particular to you, more rarefied but not necessarily more specific. You've just been "accused" of not knowing what you want, perhaps you do, perhaps you don't - the fact is that it is very hard to communicate these more abstract desires on a platform which is primarily designed to simply get your rocks off.

From a self-exploration point of _iew perhaps swinging has no more to offer to you you've run the course/finished the game; perhaps you've simply "levelled up" and need to adjust your approach accordingly. If you predominantly use the net for your contacts, a change of site can breathe some fresh air into your game. But really, as already suggested you gotta re_iew why you're still at it, because whatever was driving you in your twenties is not what is driving you now.

I really enjoyed reading your response, and think you may be right. I often think back affectionately to a number of the meets I've had, women I met and how much I enjoyed being with them, but now I'm wondering if my enjoyment of those experiences was increased because at the time, swinging was still pretty fresh to me, these fun experiences were newer and all the more exciting for it?

I'd been wondering for a long time how I can go about finding that sense of excitement, adventure and fulfilment again x"

Just a few rhetoricals you may wish to consider....

Who am I now?

What motivates me?

What do I really desire?

What strengths do I have?

How might I have overplayed them and made them less attractive to those I seek to meet?

What characteristics do I have that might attract what I desire? What characteristics do I display that might repel what I most want?

How can I show others who I am?

What approaches could I use?

How will I know if they are working?

Good luck op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes over analysing takes all the fun away

This is meant to be fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"it wasn't particularly hard to find women that I was excited to chat to...

For over a year now...there's very few women I'm particularly attracted to anymore

That's it, there's you done You had lots of eagerness and enthusiasm, now you don't. 31 is not really so massively a different age bracket than 20s, unless you only ever talked to and met people that fetishized youth.

From your profile you sound like you've used swinging not only for kicks but also for self-exploration. The deeper you get into an activity the more nuanced the activity gets. Whereas when you joined you were open to and eager to try a whole gamut of experiences and possibilities, you are now closed to your run-of-the-mill encounter and only chase something that is particular to you, more rarefied but not necessarily more specific. You've just been "accused" of not knowing what you want, perhaps you do, perhaps you don't - the fact is that it is very hard to communicate these more abstract desires on a platform which is primarily designed to simply get your rocks off.

From a self-exploration point of _iew perhaps swinging has no more to offer to you you've run the course/finished the game; perhaps you've simply "levelled up" and need to adjust your approach accordingly. If you predominantly use the net for your contacts, a change of site can breathe some fresh air into your game. But really, as already suggested you gotta re_iew why you're still at it, because whatever was driving you in your twenties is not what is driving you now.

I really enjoyed reading your response, and think you may be right. I often think back affectionately to a number of the meets I've had, women I met and how much I enjoyed being with them, but now I'm wondering if my enjoyment of those experiences was increased because at the time, swinging was still pretty fresh to me, these fun experiences were newer and all the more exciting for it?

I'd been wondering for a long time how I can go about finding that sense of excitement, adventure and fulfilment again x"
maybe you ought try something new in the world of swinging? I don't know you or you're kinks but, when I found myself going through a stale period I decided to try the club scene, it's great way of just meeting other people from all walks of life and you don't have to have any sexual play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd been wondering for a long time how I can go about finding that sense of excitement, adventure and fulfilment again x"

Fall in love


"Swinging for a number of years can leave you feeling jaded."

This is it, in a nutshell!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Why don't you just invent another of your many personas?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd been wondering for a long time how I can go about finding that sense of excitement, adventure and fulfilment again x

Fall in love

"

Lol I've tried that before, it stops being fun when they don't love you in return

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes our ages are a problem here, swinging is mostly a mature game from 40 and up lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes our ages are a problem here, swinging is mostly a mature game from 40 and up lol."

Well that's a lie

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By *rystal denisonWoman
over a year ago

trowbridge

love is a tricky game but if you find someone who wants the same things you do then its worth the risk every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes our ages are a problem here, swinging is mostly a mature game from 40 and up lol.

Well that's a lie "

Sexy brain has done very well I believe as read his profile before. Thirties is a great age

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia

Your age?! My back foot! Lol you are in your prime! You young wipper snapper you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You young wipper snapper you! "

Lol, maybe I could try my hand at being a dom.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"You young wipper snapper you!

Lol, maybe I could try my hand at being a dom."

From what I've seen with the threads you've posted, I think you'd be inventive enough to do it. I think too many doms are derivative and I don't think you'd fall into that category.

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By *oeyleicesterMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Yeah I think I have the same problem with my age, I'm 18 but haven't even met a single person from this site, I think I've got a good profile but I think because of my young age people think I'm not well experience

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

If you have a well written profile and a few tasty pics, then there is something for everyone

Unless you are 100 when you drop off everyone's radar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you have a well written profile and a few tasty pics, then there is something for everyone

Unless you are 100 when you drop off everyone's radar "

And generally the face of the earth too

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

You need to stand out from the crowd your profile is medioca and from what I've seen from your forum posts your obsessed by your cock.

Quite a lot of people would take someone who has a fun personality and doesn't take life to seriously over a big cock but then there are some profiles that just want vwe and not bothered who its attached to

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"If you have a well written profile and a few tasty pics, then there is something for everyone

Unless you are 100 when you drop off everyone's radar "

And get accused of lying about your age on your profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you have a well written profile and a few tasty pics, then there is something for everyone

Unless you are 100 when you drop off everyone's radar

And get accused of lying about your age on your profile "

I've often wondered why the cut off point is 99?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Several people have mentioned your obsession about being labelled VWE, it defines you on here.

Your posts about females are always respectful and nicely worded.

There must be more to you than 7 or 8 inches.

Hope things improve for you

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Several people have mentioned your obsession about being labelled VWE, it defines you on here.

Your posts about females are always respectful and nicely worded.

There must be more to you than 7 or 8 inches.

Hope things improve for you "

^this. Absolutely this. And far better written than I could have managed.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"If you have a well written profile and a few tasty pics, then there is something for everyone

Unless you are 100 when you drop off everyone's radar

And get accused of lying about your age on your profile

I've often wondered why the cut off point is 99?"

They probably coded the age field to accept two numerals and then used the maximum possible as the default maximum age.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I am Methuselah, what hope have I got

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"If you have a well written profile and a few tasty pics, then there is something for everyone

Unless you are 100 when you drop off everyone's radar "

or his cock falls off!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not he women,your just getting older...get your rocking chair and pipe ready...xxxxx

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By *omMLMan
over a year ago

The Centre of the Universe

I've found this thread interesting and thought provoking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mr sexybrain x perhaps you just need a little r and r of a different kind x just for a while x

having the same 'hobby' means its not special anymore x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"mr sexybrain x perhaps you just need a little r and r of a different kind x just for a while x "

Well I tried walks in the country, but found I ended up scouting locations for outdoor meets

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Perhaps leave your profile dormant for a couple of weeks and see how you feel

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)


"I used to find swinging so much more fun, it wasn't particularly hard to find women that I was excited to chat to, and getting meets wasn't particularly difficult either. For over a year now however, I've been struggling to find what I really want - there's very few women I'm particularly attracted to anymore, and those I find who I do feel excited by seem a lot less enthusiastic to chat than they once did years ago.

I don't know if guys in their 30s are considered less attractive than those in their 20s, has anyone else had similar experiences?"

I joined this site about 3 years ago, I was a good few years older than you at 47 excited I was a kid in a sweet Shop everything and everyone was new after a while the excited eagerness of that 'kid' wained, I d chatted to and met a good few people experienced somr of the things I d wanted to try the reality sometimes did nt meet my expectation some far exceeded, I guess its difficult to maintain that same level of enthusiasm as when you first start , so nope I don t think its your age I think you ve changed your outlook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes our ages are a problem here, swinging is mostly a mature game from 40 and up lol."

yes there seems to be more older people on here.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Several people have mentioned your obsession about being labelled VWE, it defines you on here.

Your posts about females are always respectful and nicely worded.

There must be more to you than 7 or 8 inches.

Hope things improve for you "

Simply: this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Several people have mentioned your obsession about being labelled VWE, it defines you on here.

Your posts about females are always respectful and nicely worded.

There must be more to you than 7 or 8 inches.

Hope things improve for you

Simply: this! "

maybe take a break from Fab for a while. Delete or hide your profile and see how you feel after a couple of months away from this place.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Several people have mentioned your obsession about being labelled VWE, it defines you on here.

Your posts about females are always respectful and nicely worded.

There must be more to you than 7 or 8 inches.

"

I've attempted to express my personality via the multiple forum game ideas I've come up with, but these were rarely met with much in the way of enthusiasm, hence I've promoted myself via my penis the most, simply because past experiences on here have shown me that it gets the greatest response, but those who think I have nothing to offer other than a big penis are welcome to read my profile and see if they still feel the same way.

But you mention that I come across as being respectful to women, thankyou, I do try and express my appreciation of them as well as I can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've promoted myself via my penis"

I can't stop giggling at this! You're like an actor whose career is in danger because of typecasting :P

I've not seen any of it, but I've only been on the forums a few weeks now, so can't/don't have the picture the regulars do. I was actually intrigued to see so many people mentioning it on this thread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im in the same boat but didnt get off to a good start like you seem to have done

its been the way you are now with me from the off

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've promoted myself via my penis

I can't stop giggling at this! You're like an actor whose career is in danger because of typecasting :P

"

I'll assume you never saw my 'Free Willy' Pic then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"mr sexybrain x perhaps you just need a little r and r of a different kind x just for a while x

Well I tried walks in the country, but found I ended up scouting locations for outdoor meets "

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you just need a little breather. I know that i needed it soon. And i may have another one soon.

Sometimes that spark and excitement goes away. You just have to give yourself some distance. Think things through and take it from there.

Age is one of those things you just can't control (but yes, you can lie to others about it, not yourself though). There's so many who tickle my fancy who i'm quite young for.

But, surprisingly i have received messages from them saying if only i was older. So, sometimes it's not your age but comes down to your personality as a whole.

Hope you get things sorted though. I'd miss your cock statistics lol

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