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"My problem is that guys are blocked.... So I can't message you x " Come into my office, have a lie down and I'll see if I can help.  | |||
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"Im having difficulty applying the suncream to certain areas ... Any advice or help wouod be gratefully received "Easy - fill your bath tub with it, jump in and then go and sunbathe. That wasn't hard. Just don't get any on the bus seat if you are going to the park.  | |||
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"ours it to embarrassing to mention lol" Ooohh, everyone has now just shuffled their seat a bit closer. Tell us more! | |||
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"Im having difficulty applying the suncream to certain areas ... Any advice or help wouod be gratefully received
Easy - fill your bath tub with it, jump in and then go and sunbathe. That wasn't hard. Just don't get any on the bus seat if you are going to the park. "Bus 
I could
Fill the paddling pool n just lay in that.. Good idea Aunty Tina  | |||
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any advice would be received :P | |||
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"There is a tree surgeon up a tree in a neighbouring garden. I'm concerned what he might do with his chainsaw if he sees me nude sunbathing "Get an axe and chop the tree down. He won't be able to see you after that. Whether he jumps down or not before you have hacked through it is his problem. Whether he drops the chainsaw on your head or not is your problem.  | |||
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"I was just reading an article about a 90 year old sexual agony aunt. I must admit the problem pages are one of my favourite sections of a magazine" 90???
I'm not surprised sex is agony for the poor old aunt!
She's probably being too energetic!
A | |||
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"oo doctor its seems that i havent had sex or oral or anything now for 12 weeks is it true that im a born again virgin
any advice would be received :P"You are not a born again virgin, but are in danger of having the hole seal itself. I'd recommend getting a meet with some meat as soon as you can find a mate. | |||
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"My problem is I'm swinging lazy... I feel I should attend to this more, but other avenues come up and I follow that white rabbit instead. Problem? Or just natural?" Buy a hammock, put up one sunny afternoon. Put Kinks LP on record player in house, open windows and jump in hammock and spend all afternoon there. That is lazy swinging. | |||
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"Do I get the bike out and pedal a few miles before going to the gym later or do I sit and watch Full Metal Jacket that's just started on the tellybox "Bring bike into house and put on bricks. Peddle backwards whilst watching said fillum. Next! | |||
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"There is a tree surgeon up a tree in a neighbouring garden. I'm concerned what he might do with his chainsaw if he sees me nude sunbathing
Get an axe and chop the tree down. He won't be able to see you after that. Whether he jumps down or not before you have hacked through it is his problem. Whether he drops the chainsaw on your head or not is your problem. " | |||
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"oo doctor its seems that i havent had sex or oral or anything now for 12 weeks is it true that im a born again virgin
any advice would be received :P
You are not a born again virgin, but are in danger of having the hole seal itself. I'd recommend getting a meet with some meat as soon as you can find a mate. "drat i liked the thought od being a virgin again. kissed for the very 1st time | |||
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" Buy a hammock, put up one sunny afternoon. Put Kinks LP on record player in house, open windows and jump in hammock and spend all afternoon there. That is lazy swinging. "I think I'm going to join in lazy swinging, sounds like bliss ! I'll invite the tree surgeon round with his large chopper to join me! One problem solved. | |||
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Help! | |||
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"I'm being bullied into wearing a mankini on friday for a beach party theme! I don't like the idea personally as I don't know the kazakh national anthem off by heart, cultural learnings of great nation kazkhstan is proving quite tricky! So is my ability to grow a decent moustache!
Help! "You'll look great in a Mankini and will spend most of the night out of sight in private rooms. However, you won't be having sex, you'll just be trying to hide from people. Learn the Kazakh national anthem as swiftly as you can, or fake it to the tune of 'My old man's a dustman' and hope they are all too busy laughing at the mankini to notice. | |||
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"I'm being bullied into wearing a mankini on friday for a beach party theme! I don't like the idea personally as I don't know the kazakh national anthem off by heart, cultural learnings of great nation kazkhstan is proving quite tricky! So is my ability to grow a decent moustache!
Help! "That would be worth seeing alone | |||
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"I'm being bullied into wearing a mankini on friday for a beach party theme! I don't like the idea personally as I don't know the kazakh national anthem off by heart, cultural learnings of great nation kazkhstan is proving quite tricky! So is my ability to grow a decent moustache!
Help!
That would be worth seeing alone "Er no it really wouldn't | |||
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"I'm being bullied into wearing a mankini on friday for a beach party theme! I don't like the idea personally as I don't know the kazakh national anthem off by heart, cultural learnings of great nation kazkhstan is proving quite tricky! So is my ability to grow a decent moustache!
Help!
You'll look great in a Mankini and will spend most of the night out of sight in private rooms. However, you won't be having sex, you'll just be trying to hide from people. Learn the Kazakh national anthem as swiftly as you can, or fake it to the tune of 'My old man's a dustman' and hope they are all too busy laughing at the mankini to notice. "Some help you are!  | |||
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"I have feelings for someone I really shouldn't, it's so wrong lol" The heart wants what the heart wants | |||
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"I'm being bullied into wearing a mankini on friday for a beach party theme! I don't like the idea personally as I don't know the kazakh national anthem off by heart, cultural learnings of great nation kazkhstan is proving quite tricky! So is my ability to grow a decent moustache!
Help!
That would be worth seeing alone
Er no it really wouldn't "fuck if I was free id go just to.take the piss | |||
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"I have feelings for someone I really shouldn't, it's so wrong lol The heart wants what the heart wants "even when you know you shouldnt | |||
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"I have feelings for someone I really shouldn't, it's so wrong lol The heart wants what the heart wants
even when you know you shouldnt "it's not the hear that wwants it lol | |||
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"I have feelings for someone I really shouldn't, it's so wrong lol The heart wants what the heart wants
even when you know you shouldnt "So true | |||
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" fuck if I was free id go just to.take the piss
"oh you want me sweetness and light or honest | |||
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" fuck if I was free id go just to.take the piss
oh you want me sweetness and light or honest"Honesty is the best policy! Sometime I just don't want to hear it though | |||
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"you are god soooooooo good looking
now pay up"I have a half eaten sherbert dib dab and £1.12 on its way to you | |||
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"Agoneeeeee eee eee. Which one of you is Maureen Lipman? I've been having trouble sleeping in this heat. Would it be wrong to get an air conditioned hotel room for a meet, split the cost and then chuck him out when I need to sleep? " Sounds like a perfectly feasible plan to me ! In fact , I think you are on to something there . Now where's my Yellow Pages ! | |||
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"Agoneeeeee eee eee. Which one of you is Maureen Lipman? I've been having trouble sleeping in this heat. Would it be wrong to get an air conditioned hotel room for a meet, split the cost and then chuck him out when I need to sleep? Sounds like a perfectly feasible plan to me ! In fact , I think you are on to something there . Now where's my Yellow Pages ! "Great! Now to find a room and someone to share the cost. | |||
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" I have a baked bean stuck up my left nostril OP .. Help!!! "Press your finger against yr right nostril , blow with all your might . The baked bean will hurtle out at high speed and land on your slice of toast with accompanying snot which will provide extra nutritious value ! | |||
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"you are god soooooooo good looking
now pay up
I have a half eaten sherbert dib dab and £1.12 on its way to you "ill pass on the dib dab  | |||
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"Since affiliating to this site, I am not sure if I am a free lovin' hippie, or a wanton whore? " Just be a hippie whore. | |||
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"I was just reading an article about a 90 year old sexual agony aunt. I must admit the problem pages are one of my favourite sections of a magazine 90???
I'm not surprised sex is agony for the poor old aunt!
She's probably being too energetic!
A"Never too old... Ask Funky... | |||
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" I have a baked bean stuck up my left nostril OP .. Help!!!
Press your finger against yr right nostril , blow with all your might . The baked bean will hurtle out at high speed and land on your slice of toast with accompanying snot which will provide extra nutritious value ! "Cover it in chocolate... It'll come out a treat... | |||
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"Agoneeeeee eee eee. Which one of you is Maureen Lipman? I've been having trouble sleeping in this heat. Would it be wrong to get an air conditioned hotel room for a meet, split the cost and then chuck him out when I need to sleep? " Oi...!!! When did you start goin Dutch...??? | |||
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"Since affiliating to this site, I am not sure if I am a free lovin' hippie, or a wanton whore? Just be a hippie whore. " Hmmm...sound advice, but it could be tricky, as I possess snake-hips. | |||
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"Agoneeeeee eee eee. Which one of you is Maureen Lipman? I've been having trouble sleeping in this heat. Would it be wrong to get an air conditioned hotel room for a meet, split the cost and then chuck him out when I need to sleep? Oi...!!! When did you start goin Dutch...??? "Oooo, there's an idea. Any Dutch men on here? | |||
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"Since affiliating to this site, I am not sure if I am a free lovin' hippie, or a wanton whore? Just be a hippie whore. Hmmm...sound advice, but it could be tricky, as I possess snake-hips." Snake-hippie whore? | |||
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"Since affiliating to this site, I am not sure if I am a free lovin' hippie, or a wanton whore? Just be a hippie whore. Hmmm...sound advice, but it could be tricky, as I possess snake-hips. Snake-hippie whore? " Charming . | |||
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"Since affiliating to this site, I am not sure if I am a free lovin' hippie, or a wanton whore? Just be a hippie whore. Hmmm...sound advice, but it could be tricky, as I possess snake-hips. Snake-hippie whore? Charming . " I have been told that I am a bit of a snake charmer. | |||
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"Since affiliating to this site, I am not sure if I am a free lovin' hippie, or a wanton whore? Just be a hippie whore. Hmmm...sound advice, but it could be tricky, as I possess snake-hips. Snake-hippie whore? Charming . I have been told that I am a bit of a snake charmer. "Ah..so you play the flute madam?. | |||
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"Agoneeeeee eee eee. Which one of you is Maureen Lipman? I've been having trouble sleeping in this heat. Would it be wrong to get an air conditioned hotel room for a meet, split the cost and then chuck him out when I need to sleep? Oi...!!! When did you start goin Dutch...???
Oooo, there's an idea. Any Dutch men on here?
"I come from the ghettos of Ho' land sistah. Can ya. dig it? | |||
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" I have a baked bean stuck up my left nostril OP .. Help!!!
Press your finger against yr right nostril , blow with all your might . The baked bean will hurtle out at high speed and land on your slice of toast with accompanying snot which will provide extra nutritious value ! "slice of toast?! Was just bean on crumb! ... Thanks for advice, did work n flew out n dog ate it! | |||
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" I have a baked bean stuck up my left nostril OP .. Help!!!
Press your finger against yr right nostril , blow with all your might . The baked bean will hurtle out at high speed and land on your slice of toast with accompanying snot which will provide extra nutritious value !
Cover it in chocolate... It'll come out a treat..." | |||
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