FabSwingers.com forum: Why chatting first is NOT time wasting!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Love swinging both with my partner present and alone, even been to clubs by myself but lately I've found myself shying away from the site and I miss it!

The issue is if I can't relax around someone I can't cum. I can't relax around someone if I don't know them. Most guys on here think chatting is wasting their time, they just want to meet and fuck but if I went to a meet and then wasn't comfortable going through with sex surely that would be worse???

Last ditch effort I thought I would post this and see if anyone responds. Just because a lady has a boyfriend who does the romancing and emotional support does not mean you shouldn't put a small amount of effort in before the dirty fun commences, I personally find drinks first with some intelligent conversation can get me wetter than anything else. Anyone up to the task?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't meet without a chat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No chat, no meet, no sex. It's as simple as that for us.

Get to know us, spark our interest. Stimulate our minds before attempting to stimulate our fun bits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No chat, no meet, no sex. It's as simple as that for us.

Get to know us, spark our interest. Stimulate our minds before attempting to stimulate our fun bits

Absolutely agreed. You have to see if you click or not before anything else.

And OP. Don't give the "fancy a fuck" brigade a second thought. I don't

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There's hope yet!!! Thanks both xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can't help but believe if they don't want to chat then maybe it's cos they're so boring they know people would just leave!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That said, fancy a fuck anyone hahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldnt agree more. . .you can tell more and get more excited from a "dry" social! !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That said, fancy a fuck anyone hahahaha"

Hahahahaha well I do like sweets

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Apart from a couple of times in my early swinging days, I never meet first time purely to play (apart from clubs), always meet in a pub or cafe or similar public place for a drink and craic. Sometimes I invite the person(s) back to mine, sometimes we meet up another time to play and sometimes the spark isn't there and I let them know later that a second meet isn't going to happen. I don't concern myself with whether anyone perceives this as time-wasting - that's entirely up to them. My body, my life, my choice - fortunately, it works very well for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I chat for ages before my meets and then the first meet is always a social one. Any man who doesn't have the patience for this is a man who won't get to meet me. I discovered a long time ago that rushed meets don't work for me as they always end in disaster.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Couldnt agree more. . .you can tell more and get more excited from a "dry" social! !

Dry social!!! Fantastic I'm keeping that phrase best description for it I've ever heard!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we always say if people wont chat the small stuff we wont get on - we dont fuck and go so like to talk and banter etc -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That said, fancy a fuck anyone hahahaha

Hahahahaha well I do like sweets

Everyone likes sweets

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe I've allowed myself to be disheartened by the wrong people!! Aye it's time to dust off the toys again! xx thanks you've all made me feel a little more sane!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a chat would be great let alone a meet and a fuck lol. But I find most women on here can't manage that. I'm polite and humorous and complimentary with my messages but 99% can't be bothered to read before deleting

If any women ever fancy a chat with a possible meet please feel free to drop by. I ALWAYS answer my messages lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

My only chat really is 'take it out then'...

nowt more

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

No chat, no meet. I like to see if there is a click or not before anything else.

So the "fancy a fuck" and the "am in your area tonight" get a thank you but no thank you

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

If there's no chat and my brain isn't engaged then I'm not going to be in the least bit turned on and I'll not be receptive to talking about my sexual proclivities, never mind meeting for a fuck.

Without some rapport, it's going nowhere.

However, once someone has got me interested and we've agreed to meet, they need to stay in touch from time to time (I mean once a week or two, not once an hour or two!) prior to that meet, if it can't happen soon after. I have to know they're still interested.

If they don't I'll think they weren't really interested and it was the horn talking, or that they've lost interest. I'll mentally write them off and move on at that point.

A few guys haven't understood why when we've chatted and agreed to meet, but then they vanish for weeks or months, why we can't pick up where we left off if they get in touch again.

I'll message and stay in touch to an extent but I don't want to feel I'm pestering guys if they have lost interest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That said, fancy a fuck anyone hahahaha

Hahahahaha well I do like sweets

Everyone likes sweets

Hope they're not melting in the bedroom!!! Stifling is not the word x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If there's no chat and my brain isn't engaged then I'm not going to be in the least bit turned on and I'll not be receptive to talking about my sexual proclivities, never mind meeting for a fuck.

Without some rapport, it's going nowhere.

If they don't I'll think they weren't really interested and it was the horn talking, or that they've lost interest. I'll mentally write them off and move on at that point.

A few guys haven't understood why when we've chatted and agreed to meet, but then they vanish for weeks or months, why we can't pick up where we left off if they get in touch again.

I'll message and stay in touch to an extent but I don't want to feel I'm pestering guys if they have lost interest."

That's exactly how I feel!! All this time I've been thinking it was just me!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always chat loads first. I won't think about meeting someone until I'm sure we have some sort of connection as I don't have time for socials. As a result I still chat to most of the guys I have met and some have become friends. So there are guys out there who don't see chatting as time wasting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't meet without a chat"

this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been chatting to a few Women on here getting to know their personality a bit better away from the forum,

But maybe mine was coming out as the messages are drying up fast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The better meets have tended to have chat leading up to play time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have been chatting to a few Women on here getting to know their personality a bit better away from the forum,

But maybe mine was coming out as the messages are drying up fast

ha! Their loss I'd say xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's amazing that people actually think a few words is all it takes... Or an appendage photo.

Discounting the fact the person attached to it may be a dull as can be and may possess a repelling personality. Something that would discovered until it's too late.

As for me, I'm a chatty guy and like getting to know who I could possibly meet. There is something to be said about putting people at ease, making a connection (no matter what the setting, situation or premise is) and making someone laugh.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

If you can't engage my mind, then your certainly not going to engage my body!

Men who think this site is all about fuck and go? They can move on to someone else as that doesn't and never will work with me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's amazing that people actually think a few words is all it takes... Or an appendage photo.

Discounting the fact the person attached to it may be a dull as can be and may possess a repelling personality. Something that would discovered until it's too late.

It amazes me how many men are too tight to go Dutch for some pre sex drinks yet they send you photos throat prove they can afford sky tv

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you can't engage my mind, then your certainly not going to engage my body!

Men who think this site is all about fuck and go? They can move on to someone else as that doesn't and never will work with me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you can't engage my mind, then your certainly not going to engage my body!

Men who think this site is all about fuck and go? They can move on to someone else as that doesn't and never will work with me

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By *asmanian TigerMan
over a year ago

lala land

"Love swinging both with my partner present and alone, even been to clubs by myself but lately I've found myself shying away from the site and I miss it!

i wouldn't meet without a chat first i have to have chemistry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love swinging both with my partner present and alone, even been to clubs by myself but lately I've found myself shying away from the site and I miss it!

depends what you mean by chat really...if you mean face to face social intercourse, we always like to get to know potential playmates and build a connection first...we love a good old gas about all sorts....if you mean chat online or in chatrooms on here then that really isn't our thing...

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

That's exactly how I feel!! All this time I've been thinking it was just me!!!

Even if it was just you, if that's how you prefer things then that's fine

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"If you can't engage my mind, then your certainly not going to engage my body!

Men who think this site is all about fuck and go? They can move on to someone else as that doesn't and never will work with me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's exactly how I feel!! All this time I've been thinking it was just me!!!

Even if it was just you, if that's how you prefer things then that's fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll often find me on the forums speaking up in defence of more romance in swinging. It seems like most people are happy having pretty much anything shoved up any orifice...but when it comes to the idea of romancing, seducing, and wining and dining a meet they run a mile lol

This is Mr Passion btw...just so you know that sometimes it's the guys who like a bit of butterflies in the tummy romance too

Treat this site like a sea of fish. Decide on the type of fish you want to catch...put your bait in...and then just sit and wait. Ok maybe you need to put in a bit of effort lol

But what I mean is that you shouldn't give up because it hasn't happened yet...it may take time to find those few people on the site who think the same way as you and I do

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You'll often find me on the forums speaking up in defence of more romance in swinging. It seems like most people are happy having pretty much anything shoved up any orifice...but when it comes to the idea of romancing, seducing, and wining and dining a meet they run a mile lol

This is Mr Passion btw...just so you know that sometimes it's the guys who like a bit of butterflies in the tummy romance too

Treat this site like a sea of fish. Decide on the type of fish you want to catch...put your bait in...and then just sit and wait. Ok maybe you need to put in a bit of effort lol

But what I mean is that you shouldn't give up because it hasn't happened yet...it may take time to find those few people on the site who think the same way as you and I do

Very refreshing to hear from a guy xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love swinging both with my partner present and alone, even been to clubs by myself but lately I've found myself shying away from the site and I miss it!

It's your prerogative to have meets which suit you , just as it's the guy who doesn't want to wine , dine and chat .

There are people on here who share the same desires , and these are the ones you should be concentrating on .

We are completely the opposite to you , and can quickly spot the type you are seeking , so we block them .

Perhaps you could send the guys you chastise our way ?

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