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child support - HELP???

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My ex was rather hit and miss with paying maintenance. So, I approached the CSA. After 4 months of constant progress chasing them they agreed what my ex should pay. They said that in the first instance they should give my ex the chance to make voluntary payments. I have now received my first payment, but my ex has deducted nearly a third of the amount for various items spent on our son (he has done this many times in the past). Surely this is not right? Can I now approach CSA and ask them to collect payments on my behalf? Anyone know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes hun tell them you want them to deal with it and get him to pay through them xx

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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago

clacton on sea

i think you'd have a good case but I think it would have to be taken through the courts for it to become an enforceable payment, and if he's being so pedantic about payments as it is I'd fear he would be more likely to drop off the scope altogether, then his payments would become part of the benefits system so I think you could be on a no winner in the end

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

its just so bloody annoying. My ex had the chance and did pay on time but then deducted money for my half share of items spent on son. Irrespective that I spend treble that amount!!I didn't think that was allowed?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i think you'd have a good case but I think it would have to be taken through the courts for it to become an enforceable payment, and if he's being so pedantic about payments as it is I'd fear he would be more likely to drop off the scope altogether, then his payments would become part of the benefits system so I think you could be on a no winner in the end "

He can't disappear as he has a very good job with a large multinational

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The csa are a bunch of idiots I have had nothing but problems with them for the past 8 years. Finally got hold of my ex he paid all of three months a total of £171 and now csa are telling me he has overpaid and they want the money back. I am in the middle of an appeal the thing is a joke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless he has reciepts and proof of payment he has'nt got a leg to stand on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/06/10 23:01:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

go for it....u have nothing to loose !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i think you'd have a good case but I think it would have to be taken through the courts for it to become an enforceable payment, and if he's being so pedantic about payments as it is I'd fear he would be more likely to drop off the scope altogether, then his payments would become part of the benefits system so I think you could be on a no winner in the end

He can't disappear as he has a very good job with a large multinational"

If he is working and refuses to pay they will take it out of his wages directly, the time you hit problems is when they are self employed, if he has a set amount thats been set by the csa and you have the papers then they will go for back pay xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

he was supposed to pay by direct debit. he said he has lost my bank account details and in the meantime gave me a cheque (less third dedcuted). He also gave me a letter with cheque telling me he was deducting money from payment. So, on Monday morning I will be sending a letter to CSA, along with photocopy of cheque and letter from ex. will the CSA agree that my ex has now defaulted on voluntary payments?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What he spends on your son can not be deducted from the money so get intouch with csa and tell them you want them to deal with it and get the payment through them,,,, trust me they do sometimes work xx good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i think you'd have a good case but I think it would have to be taken through the courts for it to become an enforceable payment, and if he's being so pedantic about payments as it is I'd fear he would be more likely to drop off the scope altogether, then his payments would become part of the benefits system so I think you could be on a no winner in the end

He can't disappear as he has a very good job with a large multinational

If he is working and refuses to pay they will take it out of his wages directly, the time you hit problems is when they are self employed, if he has a set amount thats been set by the csa and you have the papers then they will go for back pay xx"

A set amount has already been agreed, that is why I didn't think he could make any deductions, no matter what they relate to?

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By *ouvakMan
over a year ago

clacton on sea


"i think you'd have a good case but I think it would have to be taken through the courts for it to become an enforceable payment, and if he's being so pedantic about payments as it is I'd fear he would be more likely to drop off the scope altogether, then his payments would become part of the benefits system so I think you could be on a no winner in the end

He can't disappear as he has a very good job with a large multinational

If he is working and refuses to pay they will take it out of his wages directly, the time you hit problems is when they are self employed, if he has a set amount thats been set by the csa and you have the papers then they will go for back pay xx"
your right they can put an attachment of earning on his pay and collect it that way on your behalf.

And to say he can't disappear because he works for a large multinational is silly because anyone who has a mind to disappear will and can do so with the greatest of ease if they want to. And an awful lot of absent dads have done so for many reasons

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What he spends on your son can not be deducted from the money so get intouch with csa and tell them you want them to deal with it and get the payment through them,,,, trust me they do sometimes work xx good luck"

thank you. I hope CSA agree??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"he was supposed to pay by direct debit. he said he has lost my bank account details and in the meantime gave me a cheque (less third dedcuted). He also gave me a letter with cheque telling me he was deducting money from payment. So, on Monday morning I will be sending a letter to CSA, along with photocopy of cheque and letter from ex. will the CSA agree that my ex has now defaulted on voluntary payments?"

You don't need to send it all they will want is the amount and all his contact detail including his bank details and you got that on the cheque xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex changed jobs every few months thats why he did'nt get caught when they did catch up with him he would change jobs bloody cat and mouse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"he was supposed to pay by direct debit. he said he has lost my bank account details and in the meantime gave me a cheque (less third dedcuted). He also gave me a letter with cheque telling me he was deducting money from payment. So, on Monday morning I will be sending a letter to CSA, along with photocopy of cheque and letter from ex. will the CSA agree that my ex has now defaulted on voluntary payments?

You don't need to send it all they will want is the amount and all his contact detail including his bank details and you got that on the cheque xx"

Your advice has been invaluable. thank you again xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your welcome hun xx

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

what leaves my ex hubbys bank comes to me and its through csa i get every penny of it, if he dont pay get it deducted from his wages every month

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't read all your reply's

just thought I would tell you my story.

My lads are now 17 and 19 both in 6th form college.

my elder one had to resit his gcse's

but I got a letter from the CSA saying that my payments for my eldest son was to finish in the january !!!

I wrote to my ex told her I didn't think it was fair and told her that I would keep paying the full amount till june.

then he leaves school and claims JSA.

SO look at what you both want and try and work it between you both

lots more to tell lol but would deffo have to kill ya !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some guys/woman aren't as reasonable as you hun it took me 3 years before my ex became reasonable, there are a lot of absent parents that don't give a dam xxx

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Having been on the wrong end of the csa for years and also a former employee of the csa to boot i can tell you that no court case is required at all.

He cannot make any deductions from the ammout he has been ordered to pay and yes they will collect it for you.

Most of the loopholes used by people to dodge payments have been closed and with the exception of doing 1 trick i know of its very hard to evade them.

Before anyone asks what the 1 remaining get out trick is i can say clearly i am not going to tell you as i think you should pay up

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been paying through the csa for quite a few years now and find it the best way all round.

Thy take payment direct from my wages and that's calculated against what I actually earn and not what the mother thinks i sould be paying.

This all happened because she decided to stop taking the birth control without saying anything thinking that her getting pregnant would cement and bind the relationship.

It's a chance everyone takes when having sex so no going to start moaning about it LoL.

So to the original poster go right to the csa and get it sorted asap it's the only fair way for both of you.

And i have to agree that if he spends anything else other than the original payments due are purely volentary and so are NOT part of the payments he has to pay.

Go to the csa with the details and they will sort it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter is my life

She was very much wanted but the relationship was amicably finished with her mother (we are still good friends)

I have a private agreement with my ex wife and have paid on time every month

If I had gone to the CSA I would have had my payment HALVED at the very least

But like i said my daughter is my life xx

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Thanks for the people who have given the information to go back direct and that he cannot take money off(deduct) for things he has bought as I agree with Steve I think it was who has worked for the CSA.

Contact them and tell them you want it collected direct from source.

Steve can you mail the original poster to tell them exact what to say and what to expect.

I did have a private agreemenet with ex then he began threatening me so decided to go myslef to CSA knowing I would get less, and I do. But I have no worries about payemtns now.

Its taken from his salary before he gets it so is sorted.

Nice to see some dads who do actually continue to make payments and some above the required elements.

The ones who are still thinking of their children have posted on here but so many will avoid commenting totally as give nout towards their children.

Well done all the good absent parents

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

the good old csa - well I had the snip back in 1987 (yep I'm an old bugger) last year I got a letter saying that a woman had named me as father to her child. Well you can imagine my reaction, phone them up, speak to some feminist in Belfast who tells me that if I've been named as a father I have to prove I am not! I ask for details of the so called child and am told for confidentiality reasons I can't be told, I says ok I deny it and what are you going to do about it? Court she says, I say go on then cos I'll make a complete fool of you. A few weeks pass and I get a reminder, go through the same process again but of course I'm somewhat angrier now. This time I am told that I can pay for a DNA test (I think £250 from memory plus doctors fees) but even if I am right I dont get the money back. Eventually it got really out of hand and I involved my MP, strangely within 7 days I got an offer of compensation which eventually was a cheque. Fortunately K thought it was a huge joke but can you imagine the distress it could have caused if you were in a rocky relationship any way?

THe moral of this story is that a woman can accuse any man she wants of being a father to her child and the man has to prove he isn't which goes completely against the laws of this land which state as a clear principal that you are innocent until proven guilty.

BTW sorry the OP is having problems because I genuinely feel that any parent (mother or father)should take full responsibility for their offspring whether the adult relationship lasts or not.

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By *unterslickCouple
over a year ago

tullamore

all i can say is chase him,i seperated from my first wife and voluntarily paid child support,then lost my job,and basically the will to go on,so my solicitor got the child care set at a smaller rate tru the courts,anyway i ended up in hospital for 3 months,came out and had to pay the balance on maintenance,was short by a fiver one week,3 weeks later i got arrested for non payment of maintenance,was livid,but not as livid as the judge,i was in jailfor 3 nights,2 gaurds to bring me 2 and from the court twice,i didnt have money,so one of the gaurds payed the fiver,,

the judge called my ex to the court as she had insisted i be arrested,and jailed her for 3 months for wasting the courts time and police time awarded me custody of the kids,and ordered her on release to pay her parents the previous years maintenance as they were buying all the nappies...etc,and she was drinking the money,,,

the thing is,if i hadnt have been paying maintenance voluntarily she wouldnt have been able to do anything,,

but im in ireland,,over here failure to pay is jail time

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all for the help you have provided on this subject. It has been a great relief to just been able to air my concerns. Just to clarify,my ex did make voluntary payments prior to me contacting the CSA. That is not in dispute. But, they were sometimes late and he occasionally deducted payments for clothing etc (but I cloth and feed my son, so I do not know what he is playing at). The whole purpose of contacting the CSA was for him to make regular payments direct into my bank account. I honestly couldn't care less if the CSA calculated that the payments would be less than the amounts he was paying prior to them getting involved. I just wanted consistency. But for him to deduct money just two weeks into this agreement with CSA is beyond a joke and flies in the face of what I was trying to achieve!!!

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By *unterslickCouple
over a year ago

tullamore

he has to pay what was agreed,no less for any reason,go for it,report him and just bring your statements to prove it

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Good luck, I never recieved a penny of my ex husband in 12 years

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

If you do decide to use the CSA to collect monies owed, be sure you realised they dont chase the parent if they miss payments unless you ask them to

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"the good old csa - well I had the snip back in 1987 (yep I'm an old bugger) last year I got a letter saying that a woman had named me as father to her child. Well you can imagine my reaction, phone them up, speak to some feminist in Belfast who tells me that if I've been named as a father I have to prove I am not! I ask for details of the so called child and am told for confidentiality reasons I can't be told, I says ok I deny it and what are you going to do about it? Court she says, I say go on then cos I'll make a complete fool of you. A few weeks pass and I get a reminder, go through the same process again but of course I'm somewhat angrier now. This time I am told that I can pay for a DNA test (I think £250 from memory plus doctors fees) but even if I am right I dont get the money back. Eventually it got really out of hand and I involved my MP, strangely within 7 days I got an offer of compensation which eventually was a cheque. Fortunately K thought it was a huge joke but can you imagine the distress it could have caused if you were in a rocky relationship any way?

THe moral of this story is that a woman can accuse any man she wants of being a father to her child and the man has to prove he isn't which goes completely against the laws of this land which state as a clear principal that you are innocent until proven guilty.

BTW sorry the OP is having problems because I genuinely feel that any parent (mother or father)should take full responsibility for their offspring whether the adult relationship lasts or not."

I think in this case its the woman in question that stated you as the father is the bad one in this.

I do think in some ways that if a woman claims a man has a child with her and he his doctor has proven records that he has had this snip prior to possible conception then she should fund the DNA tests.

As for the rules and regs I have no idea. But someone has to pay I guess for the test. Clearly the woman has given birth to the child if she has records saying she has, so maybe the guy should pay for the test to prove the innocence and then may have to consider compensation if that is possible due to the nature if it is not true. Hard one really.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"Good luck, I never recieved a penny of my ex husband in 12 years"

I know some women decline maintenance?CSA intervention due to some major issues.

But did your ex not work in this time, if he did then he should have been paying something towards the children.

If you decided to not want any money from him then thats a different matter but am sure there is more to it than you say.

My ex is a twat and has threatened in the past while on a private agreement, we now have it all sorted so at least he is paying something towards their lives. He can also tell the kids when old enough to understand that he did always pay something towards their upbringing. He doesnt do much else towards their lives in many ways but from their point of view they know their dad does contribute.

Some men do run and hide from making any payments and the women do struggle because of it. Some women try to get the man for every penny(a woman scorned and all that).

Just feels bad that you got nout for so many years for your children. When hopefully it could have been different(maybe) x

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