Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? " ive no idea,,some folk are just dickheads I guess | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No I don't get it and have to ask myself about those that say they get it on a regular basis what are they doing " I've wondered this too, why do I warrant the abuse but my general no thank you goes like this Thank you for your interest but your not really my type sorry but I hope you find lots of fun xx This often is acceptable to most and I'll get a lovely message thanking me for taking the time to reply but then occasionally it will get me called a bunch of names and told I shouldbe grateful for their attention So if anyone could point out where I'm going so wrong in my reply I'd be grateful as I thought I was being rather polite | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No I don't get it and have to ask myself about those that say they get it on a regular basis what are they doing " This, also I also think peoples ideas of abusive can sometimes be vastly different. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Never had any abuse, feel really left out now " Lol. I was worried people might think I was feeling left out! It's just something that I've seen mentioned quite often. It doesn't seem to be a certain type of profile that gets a abuse either. I've seen guys, single girls and couples all complain about it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So much so that I wonder why I still bother to send polite "no thanks"! So far today I've had I was doing you a favour fat stag, and a girl as ugly as you shouldn't be fussy! I think something about me or my profile just attracts the worst sorts lol " I think that certain people attract them for whatever reason | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? ive no idea,,some folk are just dickheads I guess" And some just like moaning and/or bashing single men. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No I don't get it and have to ask myself about those that say they get it on a regular basis what are they doing I've wondered this too, why do I warrant the abuse but my general no thank you goes like this Thank you for your interest but your not really my type sorry but I hope you find lots of fun xx This often is acceptable to most and I'll get a lovely message thanking me for taking the time to reply but then occasionally it will get me called a bunch of names and told I shouldbe grateful for their attention So if anyone could point out where I'm going so wrong in my reply I'd be grateful as I thought I was being rather polite " Same here! Usually send a " thanks for your message but no thanks. Take care and Happy Fabbing" Maybe it's being lost in translation lol | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I get tons of messages from guys,its impossible to reply to them all,,but when I do n say no thanks it often gets a bit nasty,,i just block them. it makes me laugh how one message their telling me im stunning,sexy,blah,blah,blah,,then they get rejected they message back that im a frak,,lol " I meant FREAK,,I cunt type sorry | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? " You will always get some but 90% of rude replies are in response to sarcastic/rude/arsey messages sent to that person. I know women who sent polite no thanks messages and never ever have a problem. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? ive no idea,,some folk are just dickheads I guess And some just like moaning and/or bashing single men. " Oh I don't think abuse is exclusive to single men. I've heard of guys sending a polite, complimentary message and getting a torrent of abuse in return. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I can only guess the ones not getting abuse are the ones that choose to use the no reply method maybe? No idea what the difference is to be fair " maybe, I have never got abuse from someone I didn't reply to | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I get tons of messages from guys,its impossible to reply to them all,,but when I do n say no thanks it often gets a bit nasty,,i just block them. it makes me laugh how one message their telling me im stunning,sexy,blah,blah,blah,,then they get rejected they message back that im a frak,,lol I meant FREAK,,I cunt type sorry " Sweetie; put the spade down, that hole you're digging is getting too big now xxx | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? " Doesn't really matter, does it? Really? Not really... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Apparently some people pay good money to be abused " Some people | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You will always get some but 90% of rude replies are in response to sarcastic/rude/arsey messages sent to that person. I know women who sent polite no thanks messages and never ever have a problem." That's not always the case. I reply politely with a no thanks or sorry but I'm not interested, tailored to the message I'd have received but there'll always be some abusive ones. That's when I hit report then block | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? ive no idea,,some folk are just dickheads I guess And some just like moaning and/or bashing single men. Oh I don't think abuse is exclusive to single men. I've heard of guys sending a polite, complimentary message and getting a torrent of abuse in return. " Guys get messages??? I dont believe you! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I find it is mostly the ones who reply while most of their blood is away from their brains " | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? " Don't know, we never get any if we send a mail back saying no thanks | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? Don't know, we never get any if we send a mail back saying no thanks " Thats coz you are scary! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Never had any abuse, feel really left out now " I will come and abuse you if you like | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yes and I love it when the a users are the first ones to run to the forums to play hard done by... You know who you are..." Yes have noticed that before. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? Don't know, we never get any if we send a mail back saying no thanks Thats coz you are scary! " But they don't know that until I lock them in the cellar | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? Don't know, we never get any if we send a mail back saying no thanks Thats coz you are scary! But they don't know that until I lock them in the cellar " So when are we going to get together for that dungeon shag??? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? Don't know, we never get any if we send a mail back saying no thanks Thats coz you are scary! But they don't know that until I lock them in the cellar So when are we going to get together for that dungeon shag???" When I let the other men go, it is full up right now | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yes and I love it when the a users are the first ones to run to the forums to play hard done by... You know who you are..." It was me wasn't it | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? Don't know, we never get any if we send a mail back saying no thanks Thats coz you are scary! But they don't know that until I lock them in the cellar So when are we going to get together for that dungeon shag??? When I let the other men go, it is full up right now " Do I take a ticket like at the deli counter and await my turn? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Do I take a ticket like at the deli counter and await my turn?" Yep.... you are number 198787656...we are up to number 9....worth the wait though | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Do I take a ticket like at the deli counter and await my turn? Yep.... you are number 198787656...we are up to number 9....worth the wait though " I'll just have a wank in the waiting room then. Got any Kleenex? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So much so that I wonder why I still bother to send polite "no thanks"! So far today I've had I was doing you a favour fat stag, and a girl as ugly as you shouldn't be fussy! I think something about me or my profile just attracts the worst sorts lol I think that certain people attract them for whatever reason " Then I am one of those people. I get about two thirds decent accepting replies and a third where I am told in various ways that I should be grateful they took any interest in me at all and they were only doing me a favour. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Do I take a ticket like at the deli counter and await my turn? Yep.... you are number 198787656...we are up to number 9....worth the wait though I'll just have a wank in the waiting room then. Got any Kleenex?" Just aim it into that vase in the corner. The funny smelling one | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Do I take a ticket like at the deli counter and await my turn? Yep.... you are number 198787656...we are up to number 9....worth the wait though I'll just have a wank in the waiting room then. Got any Kleenex? Just aim it into that vase in the corner. The funny smelling one " Thats no vase, thats Rugger's gimp | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I can only guess the ones not getting abuse are the ones that choose to use the no reply method maybe? No idea what the difference is to be fair " Personally, no. I've sent plenty of 'thanks but no thanks' kind of messages only to get abuse back Thankfully majority of people are nice but the nasty messages do seem to come in waves. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I sometimes have a profile and get mail. I always reply. Only ever had one rude reply and it wasn't that bad. Looking at the profiles on this thread from people that say they get abuse, they have one thing in common. The ones that don't get abuse have something else in common..." Now I'm going to have to work out what I have in common with the abused profiles... unless you tell me. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I sometimes have a profile and get mail. I always reply. Only ever had one rude reply and it wasn't that bad. Looking at the profiles on this thread from people that say they get abuse, they have one thing in common. The ones that don't get abuse have something else in common..." And what are those things in common | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So much so that I wonder why I still bother to send polite "no thanks"! So far today I've had I was doing you a favour fat stag, and a girl as ugly as you shouldn't be fussy! I think something about me or my profile just attracts the worst sorts lol I think that certain people attract them for whatever reason Then I am one of those people. I get about two thirds decent accepting replies and a third where I am told in various ways that I should be grateful they took any interest in me at all and they were only doing me a favour. " I was the same.. Most would just leave it at that, with of few replying to thank me for my reply. However I'd get a fair number reply to let me know they'd messaged me by mistake as there no way they'd have messaged such a fat munter otherwise, have had one saying the men I was meeting must be ugly and desperate to shag me and other messages with a similar tone. It was never the majority, and not always big numbers, but I got so sick of it I almost left the site. Instead I decided to just delete the messages from those I have no interest in and find I rarely if ever now get abuse... Must take too much extra effort to click back onto my profile to send a new message rather than just hitting reply! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The only time I've had rude messages, was last time I was on here when I put up a meet request for a social on a bank holiday. I was polite enough to reply to everyone, even those who were not what I was looking for and they were the ones that were rude. I was called a time waster, a tease, a fake oh and my pictures weren't mine....apparently! Needless to say I will never bother putting up a meet request again! Normal day to day messages are never rude though. " That would be a shame to not put up a meet request again. Why not just state you will only reply to successful applicants. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I sometimes have a profile and get mail. I always reply. Only ever had one rude reply and it wasn't that bad. Looking at the profiles on this thread from people that say they get abuse, they have one thing in common. The ones that don't get abuse have something else in common... Now I'm going to have to work out what I have in common with the abused profiles... unless you tell me. " I'd be genuinely interested to know what this common factor on the profiles of the abuse receivers is, if we know we could change! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The only time I've had rude messages, was last time I was on here when I put up a meet request for a social on a bank holiday. I was polite enough to reply to everyone, even those who were not what I was looking for and they were the ones that were rude. I was called a time waster, a tease, a fake oh and my pictures weren't mine....apparently! Needless to say I will never bother putting up a meet request again! Normal day to day messages are never rude though. That would be a shame to not put up a meet request again. Why not just state you will only reply to successful applicants. " Aw! Sweet and sensible reply. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I sometimes have a profile and get mail. I always reply. Only ever had one rude reply and it wasn't that bad. Looking at the profiles on this thread from people that say they get abuse, they have one thing in common. The ones that don't get abuse have something else in common..." You seem to be suggesting some bring it upon themselves??? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I sometimes have a profile and get mail. I always reply. Only ever had one rude reply and it wasn't that bad. Looking at the profiles on this thread from people that say they get abuse, they have one thing in common. The ones that don't get abuse have something else in common... You seem to be suggesting some bring it upon themselves??? " I didn't read it like that. Abusers may well have a type they seek out. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I sometimes have a profile and get mail. I always reply. Only ever had one rude reply and it wasn't that bad. Looking at the profiles on this thread from people that say they get abuse, they have one thing in common. The ones that don't get abuse have something else in common... You seem to be suggesting some bring it upon themselves??? I didn't read it like that. Abusers may well have a type they seek out. " And that type is? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I sometimes have a profile and get mail. I always reply. Only ever had one rude reply and it wasn't that bad. Looking at the profiles on this thread from people that say they get abuse, they have one thing in common. The ones that don't get abuse have something else in common... You seem to be suggesting some bring it upon themselves??? " Absolutely not!! No-one deserves abuse, ever. It's the person being abusive that's at fault. I just see common factors. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I sometimes have a profile and get mail. I always reply. Only ever had one rude reply and it wasn't that bad. Looking at the profiles on this thread from people that say they get abuse, they have one thing in common. The ones that don't get abuse have something else in common... You seem to be suggesting some bring it upon themselves??? I didn't read it like that. Abusers may well have a type they seek out. And that type is?" The way I see it- and feel free to call me an ass- is that a guy sees your profile and likes what he sees. He's pissed off when you say no. "Look at what he's missing out on." If I say no he's relieved- my profile is shit with no pics, I could be a guy for all he knows. And that doesn't mean the other people that don't get abuse have shit profiles. Just different ways of running them. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Question for the people that get abusive replies- have you tried deleting guys off your 'looking for' list (so you don't show up on searches and it stops the majority of mail).. and tried searching for guys yourself?" I'll admit to being extremely lazy so I don't search. I only set my message filters a few weeks ago and the only abusive messages have been from men and "couples" in their thirties and over. But that's from the ones who contacted me before the filters so they could have thought they were the exception to the filters. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? " Quick answer is it seems to be the case. I guess its because its easy to be obnoxious when your safely sat in your living room and have the extra protection of anonymity supplied by any internet social site. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Question for the people that get abusive replies- have you tried deleting guys off your 'looking for' list (so you don't show up on searches and it stops the majority of mail).. and tried searching for guys yourself?" The two abusive messages today were actually from couples! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Question for the people that get abusive replies- have you tried deleting guys off your 'looking for' list (so you don't show up on searches and it stops the majority of mail).. and tried searching for guys yourself?" I have found that most of the abusive mail I have received has been from people deciding to reply privately to some of my posts on here. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Question for the people that get abusive replies- have you tried deleting guys off your 'looking for' list (so you don't show up on searches and it stops the majority of mail).. and tried searching for guys yourself? I have found that most of the abusive mail I have received has been from people deciding to reply privately to some of my posts on here. " I get those too but I count them as a whole different category. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Had it once where we got a sarcy reply about the male must be answering the messages. Other than that nothing but polite lovely folk!! " Couples are different- there's always the chance the guy could be reading the mail. So people (guys?) are less likely to be abusive to them. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've had someone recently send me an abusive message out of the blue. I mean you must be a different kind of special to be so offended by someones profile that you send them abuse. lol" I had one of those at Easter. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've had someone recently send me an abusive message out of the blue. I mean you must be a different kind of special to be so offended by someones profile that you send them abuse. lol I had one of those at Easter." A few years ago I had from 3 different men all of whom I had never spoken to in my life and all outwith my area, no idea why a profile could get to people so much! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I keep reading other threads where people mention getting abusive replies to messages. When I decline someone's offer I have only ever had a polite 'thanks anyway hon ' or a thanks for the reply anyway.' So why are some getting abusive replies? " I don't think I've ever had an abusive reply. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The only time I've had rude messages, was last time I was on here when I put up a meet request for a social on a bank holiday. I was polite enough to reply to everyone, even those who were not what I was looking for and they were the ones that were rude. I was called a time waster, a tease, a fake oh and my pictures weren't mine....apparently! Needless to say I will never bother putting up a meet request again! Normal day to day messages are never rude though. That would be a shame to not put up a meet request again. Why not just state you will only reply to successful applicants. " Thanks but I've decided that if I fancy a social / meet again I will e-mail those that interest me. I'm happy to say I don't get rude messages when I say no to someone normally though | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yes I get it regularly, no daubt cos they are jelous of my 6pack lol " You big fib! You've never turned down a woman in your life I don't get as many abusive replies as I used to, and they're pretty poor quality too. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I was more shocked recently when out of the blue I received a spiteful and abusive message from another regular forumite - not someone I had ever spoken to personally and the message did not relate to anything that was being discussed in the forums at the time, it was just a personal attack. I followed the same line, block and report but I found that far more offensive than some guy having the hump because I had turned him down. " I had a guy message me out of the blue via a forum post telling me he'd never meet me. No reason given, and he lived 100s of miles away. I do wonder what goes through some peoples heads sometimes. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I was more shocked recently when out of the blue I received a spiteful and abusive message from another regular forumite - not someone I had ever spoken to personally and the message did not relate to anything that was being discussed in the forums at the time, it was just a personal attack. I followed the same line, block and report but I found that far more offensive than some guy having the hump because I had turned him down. I had a guy message me out of the blue via a forum post telling me he'd never meet me. No reason given, and he lived 100s of miles away. I do wonder what goes through some peoples heads sometimes." Brilliant idea! I'm a bit bored.... going to mail loads of random southerners and Scots and say I won't meet them because they're too far away. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Question for the people that get abusive replies- have you tried deleting guys off your 'looking for' list (so you don't show up on searches and it stops the majority of mail).. and tried searching for guys yourself?" Stopping replying to those I have no interest in seems to have worked for me, but if it hadn't this may have been my next step. I've never felt the need to stop single guys contacting me though as I've never had an overflowing inbox like some do. I do however go on the hunt myself every now and then too though when I know I've got some free time coming up | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I sometimes have a profile and get mail. I always reply. Only ever had one rude reply and it wasn't that bad. Looking at the profiles on this thread from people that say they get abuse, they have one thing in common. The ones that don't get abuse have something else in common..." Please do enlighten us that do as I said before any advice as to where I invite this abuse is gratefully received and as you have managed to find a common thread it would help if you could share as I can't spot it | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |