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A forum thought (or three)

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I read a quote today from someone saying they found a group activity attractive because "it's time alone but with other people."

They were talking about the fact that they could attend but are not compelled to join in and no one is going to hassle them if they don't join in.

I use the forum like that to some extent. Do others?

My next thought will float by shortly.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I use it like that too. I also use it as a learning aid

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I use it like that too. I also use it as a learning aid "

Indeed. I didn't know what a bullet was (amongst other things ) until the forum taught me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy reading the comments in the forum rather than posting ones ...although I do post comments when I'm pissed...like now.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I enjoy reading the comments in the forum rather than posting ones ...although I do post comments when I'm pissed...like now. "

Try it sober too, you might like it. Or just be here with the company around you.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I rarely comment but like to read

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I comment on threads that interest me, I rarely read others that don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've become more of a lurker lately, will post now and then if something interests me I might post.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I comment on threads that interest me, I rarely read others that don't.

"

But is that the same as being alone but with other people?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I think the forum is like a big pub where people come and go, sometimes joining in a conversation and other times just happy to listen to other folks.

I have learned a few things here and hope that amongst the inane drivel that I have posted, there may have been a little gem of useful information for someone else's benefit

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"I comment on threads that interest me, I rarely read others that don't.

But is that the same as being alone but with other people?

"

for sure, it is virtual company. I need very little real human contact during my down times from work.

virtual plugs a small gap

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I comment on threads that interest me, I rarely read others that don't.

But is that the same as being alone but with other people?

for sure, it is virtual company. I need very little real human contact during my down times from work.

virtual plugs a small gap

"

I get that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many introverts enjoying being amongst others but simply don't feel compelled to join in or be the life and soul. I adore time alone walking outdoors but I'm more than happy to greet strangers passing by the other way.

It's a shame some people think others are odd for enjoying quieter more intimate lifestyles.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I think the forum is like a big pub where people come and go, sometimes joining in a conversation and other times just happy to listen to other folks.

I have learned a few things here and hope that amongst the inane drivel that I have posted, there may have been a little gem of useful information for someone else's benefit "

And vice versa?

I do sometimes feel that I am eavesdropping on another drinker's conversation. It feels rather naughty and shameful but you really don't want them to stop and go to the bar at the crucial moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will ..but I'm not as tough as I make out

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


" Many introverts enjoying being amongst others but simply don't feel compelled to join in or be the life and soul. I adore time alone walking outdoors but I'm more than happy to greet strangers passing by the other way.

It's a shame some people think others are odd for enjoying quieter more intimate lifestyles."

How boring if we all behaved the same and conformed to the same personality type.

Thought two: why is any dissent on a thread here seen as a threat, clique or bullying? If everyone agrees we might as well all remain silent.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I will ..but I'm not as tough as I make out "

Not many of us are and definitely not all of the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being self employed my work is such that I am on my own a lot unless at customer sites. So the forum creates a virtual community I can drift into and out of depending on the ebb and flow of every day life.

I like that I don't have to censor very much at all with a few friends on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the fact you can drift in and out as time permits. You can contribute to a thread , if it grabs your attention or just read.

The forums often make me laugh which is a big bonus, as my job can be stressful at times & hard hitting. It provides some light relief. Also being cyber, it's less intense that real conversations - if that makes sense, so uses less energy.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I will ..but I'm not as tough as I make out "

few of us are.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Forum? What forum?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Thought two: why is any dissent on a thread here seen as a threat, clique or bullying? If everyone agrees we might as well all remain silent.

"

I wonder if for some the sense of wanting to belong is challenged when a lot of people seem to be seeing things the same way and joining in with a prevailing train of thought. Perhaps unconsciously groupthink develops that has a tendency for some to feel excluded or bullied etc....

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"

Thought two: why is any dissent on a thread here seen as a threat, clique or bullying? If everyone agrees we might as well all remain silent.

"

it is the pack mentality that happens at times, someone posts something and even if they apologise for a badly worded OP 3 or 4 posts in..... it can go 175 slating the original unapologised point.

it is scary

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"

Thought two: why is any dissent on a thread here seen as a threat, clique or bullying? If everyone agrees we might as well all remain silent.

I wonder if for some the sense of wanting to belong is challenged when a lot of people seem to be seeing things the same way and joining in with a prevailing train of thought. Perhaps unconsciously groupthink develops that has a tendency for some to feel excluded or bullied etc...."

That's a reasonable argument.

I do think it can look like group think and bullying when lots of people post in a similar vein at the same time. These are the times the forum gets accused to the cliques, bullies and everyone supporting their friends. However, when you look at the posting times a lot of the posts are going up simultaneously so it's more like sheep all rolling across the cattle grid on opposite sides of the globe rather than a concerted effort to undermine one poster.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


" Thought two: why is any dissent on a thread here seen as a threat, clique or bullying? If everyone agrees we might as well all remain silent."

I wonder this myself. In some cases it's over-sensitivity and butt-hurtness that anyone dare disagree.

The whole "if you don't agree then don't/you don't have to comment" thing is utterly ridiculous.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"

Thought two: why is any dissent on a thread here seen as a threat, clique or bullying? If everyone agrees we might as well all remain silent.

I wonder if for some the sense of wanting to belong is challenged when a lot of people seem to be seeing things the same way and joining in with a prevailing train of thought. Perhaps unconsciously groupthink develops that has a tendency for some to feel excluded or bullied etc....

That's a reasonable argument.

I do think it can look like group think and bullying when lots of people post in a similar vein at the same time. These are the times the forum gets accused to the cliques, bullies and everyone supporting their friends. However, when you look at the posting times a lot of the posts are going up simultaneously so it's more like sheep all rolling across the cattle grid on opposite sides of the globe rather than a concerted effort to undermine one poster.

"

Quite. A number of people who happen to share one opinion isn't exactly a clique!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Thought two: why is any dissent on a thread here seen as a threat, clique or bullying? If everyone agrees we might as well all remain silent.

I wonder if for some the sense of wanting to belong is challenged when a lot of people seem to be seeing things the same way and joining in with a prevailing train of thought. Perhaps unconsciously groupthink develops that has a tendency for some to feel excluded or bullied etc....

That's a reasonable argument.

I do think it can look like group think and bullying when lots of people post in a similar vein at the same time. These are the times the forum gets accused to the cliques, bullies and everyone supporting their friends. However, when you look at the posting times a lot of the posts are going up simultaneously so it's more like sheep all rolling across the cattle grid on opposite sides of the globe rather than a concerted effort to undermine one poster.

"

I think like in most things it's not black and white. Both groupthink and genuinely similar points of _iew can happily coexist on here in the same thread. Bullying and just the sheer energy of a number of people vehemently disagreeing with something can coexist too.

Cliques and independent thinkers that hold a similar _iewpoint can coexist.

A clique and a group of friends can look the same to someone who feels for whatever reason excluded and not belonging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A group who have all been at a social together, like the Jaydees social a couple of weeks ago, can appear cliquey to those who weren't there and couldn't share the experience. Why? Because they feel excluded?

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"

I think like in most things it's not black and white. Both groupthink and genuinely similar points of _iew can happily coexist on here in the same thread. Bullying and just the sheer energy of a number of people vehemently disagreeing with something can coexist too.

Cliques and independent thinkers that hold a similar _iewpoint can coexist.

A clique and a group of friends can look the same to someone who feels for whatever reason excluded and not belonging."

I agree with all of that.

I remember starting out on here 27 month ago and joining in only when my ire was up reading some racist comments. The backlash to my comments could have made me run away and for some that is what will happen.

The funniest bit was just two months later I had a backlash of someone accusing me of being part of the clique and knowing everyone. It took me a year before I felt comfortable about meeting people at a social.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the forum is like a big pub where people come and go, sometimes joining in a conversation and other times just happy to listen to other folks.

I have learned a few things here and hope that amongst the inane drivel that I have posted, there may have been a little gem of useful information for someone else's benefit "

So true, so true. There is a lot of inane drivel on here, not all yours by any means. Entertaining though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the forum is like a big pub where people come and go, sometimes joining in a conversation and other times just happy to listen to other folks.

I have learned a few things here and hope that amongst the inane drivel that I have posted, there may have been a little gem of useful information for someone else's benefit

So true, so true. There is a lot of inane drivel on here, not all yours by any means. Entertaining though "

I post loads of inane drivel too Does that make me part of the inane drivel clique

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes ill read,sometimes ill comment,they are always here to have a chuckle at,roll my eyes at or to learn something new from

Sometimes they can be dull,sometimes they can be hilarious,but they're always here to pass the time with if I want

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Did someone say clique?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Many introverts enjoying being amongst others but simply don't feel compelled to join in or be the life and soul. I adore time alone walking outdoors but I'm more than happy to greet strangers passing by the other way.

It's a shame some people think others are odd for enjoying quieter more intimate lifestyles.

How boring if we all behaved the same and conformed to the same personality type.

Thought two: why is any dissent on a thread here seen as a threat, clique or bullying? If everyone agrees we might as well all remain silent.

"
I'm not Aware of any suggestions of bullying. He to run is for debating. There's a difference in debating issue's and insisting ones perspective is right?

I agree variety of personalities is good, but there is no doubt certain personalities are accepted more readily in certain circle's.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I like the forum. I'm not likely to get out and about to meet as many swingers as I'd like so this is a substitute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I read a quote today from someone saying they found a group activity attractive because "it's time alone but with other people."

They were talking about the fact that they could attend but are not compelled to join in and no one is going to hassle them if they don't join in.

I use the forum like that to some extent. Do others?

My next thought will float by shortly.

"

I like that thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes work in coffee shops for the same reason

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I use it just for entertainment purposes only

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I use it just for entertainment purposes only "

That's how you use life. Who was the recipient of your mystery parcel this week?

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I sometimes work in coffee shops for the same reason"

I pop out to the shops for things I don't need.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"I use it just for entertainment purposes only

That's how you use life. Who was the recipient of your mystery parcel this week?

"

Damn right that's how I use life

I've not sent one, I've been too busy at work, but I did get 2 interesting looking textbooks, though.

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you


"

I think like in most things it's not black and white. Both groupthink and genuinely similar points of _iew can happily coexist on here in the same thread. Bullying and just the sheer energy of a number of people vehemently disagreeing with something can coexist too.

Cliques and independent thinkers that hold a similar _iewpoint can coexist.

A clique and a group of friends can look the same to someone who feels for whatever reason excluded and not belonging.

I agree with all of that.

I remember starting out on here 27 month ago and joining in only when my ire was up reading some racist comments. The backlash to my comments could have made me run away and for some that is what will happen.

The funniest bit was just two months later I had a backlash of someone accusing me of being part of the clique and knowing everyone. It took me a year before I felt comfortable about meeting people at a social.

"
,I have been on here about three years now,most of the forum users I knew are gone now and so I feel like a newby all over again,my fault because I don't post often,i prefer to read and lurk,i have noticed though over the years the forum can get pretty heated,and yes I think some people do bully others to some extent

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