FabSwingers.com forum: Sexual harassment

By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Do you think it's still tolerated in everyday life? There is a guy at work who used to be a bit of a slime ball around me making sexual remarks and innuendos...he stopped now as he has a girlfriend

...I did tell him to stop but he always made me feel that it was me that was flirting with him..I'm a flirtatious person but not in work as it's my work place...

Is sexual harassment taken seriously or is it still a case where it is brushed under the carpet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell your line manager x hes crossed a line and may do so again

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think men and women are less likely to put up with it now but that's lot of it is more subtle maybe. As a young woman it was accepted that there would be at least one pervert as we called them, in every work place and we tolerated things that I would certainly not entertain now. A combination of prevailing attitudes and youth made this possible. I have certainly not been subject to sexual harassment for many years and neither has my partner or kids......this of course isn't evidence that it doesn't go on.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Tell your line manager x hes crossed a line and may do so again"

Long story but Its not likely to make any use...I don't want to go into work related stuff but I would not gain anything by reporting it and I've told him in no uncertain terms what I think of him and his sexual innuendos...he got the message then

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Tell your line manager x hes crossed a line and may do so again

Good! That's what eventually gets the message across.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

There is an attitude amongst some (mainly men) that it's all just a bit of fun and that a woman who gets annoyed just "can't take a joke"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes! No one believed me at 1st then one day I was putting some stock out he thought we where alone so he came in and slapped my arse really hard I nearly feel over! Luckily my boss saw, and he has not been back since!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"There is an attitude amongst some (mainly men) that it's all just a bit of fun and that a woman who gets annoyed just "can't take a joke"

I see that attitude towards women on here a lot, especially when they aren't being all pink and fluffy towards a man or even worse disagreeing with his sexist comments. All part of the same mentality I suppose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a situation at work a couple of years ago where a married guy kept leaving gifts on my desk for me - chocolate, flowers , cherries & other things. It soon stopped when I stored the gifts up & dumped them all back on his desk !

To answer yr question though Cheeky I think it still goes on, but less than it used to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Words wouldn't bother me. If someone was continually degrading I would give a look of disdain and ask how the wife /gf is. If he was single I would ask if he enjoyed the gay nightclub I saw him go into at the weekend. And oh,that man you were holding hands with,is he your boyfriend?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I think it's not tolerated half as much as what it was years ago. Lookin back people would've been afraid to report stuff like that or to stand up to them and say no. Where as now I think there's that bit more fear in the slime ball that he/she will be branded. I suppose people talk about that kind of stuff more openly now without the shame or stigma

What really bugs me though is someone that thinks just cos someone is a swinger that they're a guaranteed ride or easy!! FFs like, just cos someone is a swinger doesn't mean they've no standards or respect for themselves and they'd let any dick inside them! The mentality of some people is beyond belief sometimes lol now that's my mornin rant over with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is an attitude amongst some (mainly men) that it's all just a bit of fun and that a woman who gets annoyed just "can't take a joke"

I'm more a teal and lumpy woman myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is an attitude amongst some (mainly men) that it's all just a bit of fun and that a woman who gets annoyed just "can't take a joke"

I'd partially agree with this, although some of the difficulties lie in poor management training. I've seen some managers struggle with same sex sexual harassment as it's just the 'office camp guy having fun' or 'she's married, it's just a bit of banter' etc, seen all parties involved struggle with that before.

It's a case of raising it with superiors if you feel uncomfortable, or addressing it with the perpetrator. Failing that, go higher, or punch them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is an attitude amongst some (mainly men) that it's all just a bit of fun and that a woman who gets annoyed just "can't take a joke"

Exactly my point lol certain men seem to think if a woman is on here then how dare she say no to him and she should just go along with his superior ways.. I say ban hammer for these types

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i got pulled up with accusations of Sexual Harassment i was totally devastated..

felt like the scum of the earth and that i could no longer have a joke or conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should try being a man and having a woman sexually harass you at work.

When it happened to me my manager looked at me like I was bat-shit crazy when I said I wanted it to stop!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"You should try being a man and having a woman sexually harass you at work.

When it happened to me my manager looked at me like I was bat-shit crazy when I said I wanted it to stop!"

Yea I've known this happen, especially to very young men. It's wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a company local to me they have sacked a couple of senior managers recently for sexual harassment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should try being a man and having a woman sexually harass you at work.

When it happened to me my manager looked at me like I was bat-shit crazy when I said I wanted it to stop!

Yea I've known this happen, especially to very young men. It's wrong."

It was a fair few year ago and with the litigious society we live in, workplaces are more likely to investigate now than simply give you the response of 'Shes a bit of alright, you should be flattered] (which is what I was told).

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"You should try being a man and having a woman sexually harass you at work.

When it happened to me my manager looked at me like I was bat-shit crazy when I said I wanted it to stop!

Yea I've known this happen, especially to very young men. It's wrong.

Shocking double standards not to mention any of the other issues

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"i got pulled up with accusations of Sexual Harassment i was totally devastated..

felt like the scum of the earth and that i could no longer have a joke or conversation

Can you say what you said or did?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In some walks of life it's still swept under the carpet.

A few years ago I was grab from behind and dry humped by a colleague unsolicited. Considering that he was married with a new baby, I told my manager that I only wanted him to apologise. What I got was him denying it to my face and mentioned a comment I had made the week before in front of our manager. This was after my manager had told me he was concerned how I was feeling about it (I felt I had been set up) and with no support from my manager except if I continued with the complaint and if found out that I was lying, I could be sack like he could. There was some CCtV footage, but the counter was in the way when I bent down to grab something. I decided not to pursue it because for his family sake, and as long as I didn't have to work with him. However, he started purposely coming into work as a customer during my shift, where he never used to. I did get this stopped and later heard after he left, that he was doing all sorts with another colleague and left his family for another woman. I wish now that I pursued the complaint higher up. Unfortunately, (or fortunately) he's a spitting image of David Cameron.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I can remember my Grandad's chum telling me about how he was a maintenance man in a knitwear factory after the war and as a young lad he was always being teased by the women who worked there.

In every office I've worked in, there has been low levels of harassment. I did work with one 'lothario' who had a habit of trying to pull anything in a skirt and was reputed to send questionable pics by text.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's a minefield for sure. I've heard of young lads having their trousers and boxers pulled down by groups of older female colleagues and being laughed at when they complain. Shame on every one who bullies people this way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It definately,has changed. In the workplace when I was a younger, there was always a lot of sexual innuendo and double entendres, and in my opinion it was all a bit of banter and I gave as good as I got. However, it was all verbal and I was never touched inappropriately or felt bad with any of the comments that were made. Today, is a different story, the males I work with, I feel are very careful about what they say in fear of offending someone or being put on a disciplinary, bit of a shame but a sign of the times I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worked in a high street company that I had to take to tribunal for sexual harassment in '05-06. It was a nightmare experience. The entire management structure first tried to brush it off and didn't follow procedure, left me open to further incidents plus bullying and victimisation,then tried to close ranks, then tried to turn it into my fault. I ended up persevering, I'm glad I did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i got pulled up with accusations of Sexual Harassment i was totally devastated..

felt like the scum of the earth and that i could no longer have a joke or conversation

Can you say what you said or did?"

Was having a conversation with friends about pole dancing (she teaches pole dancing) and apparently someone over heard and reported me.. my friend/work mate wasnt even bothered.

Was told very clearly not to mention anything remotely sexual as it could be misinterpretated..

I was baffled

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You should try being a man and having a woman sexually harass you at work.

When it happened to me my manager looked at me like I was bat-shit crazy when I said I wanted it to stop!"

This is so true. My husband is having problems at work with this.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I worked in a high street company that I had to take to tribunal for sexual harassment in '05-06. It was a nightmare experience. The entire management structure first tried to brush it off and didn't follow procedure, left me open to further incidents plus bullying and victimisation,then tried to close ranks, then tried to turn it into my fault. I ended up persevering, I'm glad I did. "

We are witnessing the outcome of similar incidents to what you have described now on a very large scale.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I think it's quite hard sometimes to assess when someone is joking and being deadly serious..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think it's quite hard sometimes to assess when someone is joking and being deadly serious.."

It can be but if some one says "I don't like that sort of talk or I don't like you touching me" one pretty much knows they don't like that sort of thing its when they continue after that it becomes harrassment.

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By *isscheekychops OP Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"I think it's quite hard sometimes to assess when someone is joking and being deadly serious..

Very true...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Words wouldn't bother me. If someone was continually degrading I would give a look of disdain and ask how the wife /gf is. If he was single I would ask if he enjoyed the gay nightclub I saw him go into at the weekend. And oh,that man you were holding hands with,is he your boyfriend? "

So basically you'd get yourself in so much shit you'd be fired?

It would solve the problem but not the best way to do it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

when I was 21 and thought I knew it all

I worked for a very large company and my boss was a toucher, he started out with "accidental" brushes of the hand and moved on eventually to actual hand up the skirt if the woman concerned said nothing. Not one of us thought about reporting him, we didn't know you could for a start and shamefully we accepted that some men were "just like that". This was in the mid to late 70s and if we had told anyone nothing would have been done, I am so happy that things are finally changing in that respect.

Of course now that I'm 57 and actually DO know it all

a bloke who touched me without permission would pretty soon feel the sharp edge of my tongue and not in a good way.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Not one of us thought about reporting him, we didn't know you could for a start and shamefully we accepted that some men were "just like that"."

There are a few on here who still have that attitude and will use it as a defence for the men, as they belittle the one(s) objecting.

It astounds me that anyone still thinks that way.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Not one of us thought about reporting him, we didn't know you could for a start and shamefully we accepted that some men were "just like that".

There are a few on here who still have that attitude and will use it as a defence for the men, as they belittle the one(s) objecting.

It astounds me that anyone still thinks that way."

Yes I've noticed that. It is true of wider society too I'm afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only advice I can give here, is to go straight to your HR department, or direct manager if no HR, and explain the situation. A formal grievance can be done if necessary, but telling someone else in authority is always the best first move.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I don't accept being touched when I don't want to be touched in a sex club. I certainly wouldn't tolerate it at work.

I was in education until '97 though and didn't start work until after that. The situation was already changing then, (except in investment banking

), so I'm happy to say I've only been made to feel uncomfortable at work once, that I can recall.

On that occasion I was working on a man's computer, fixing a problem. As I finished and was standing behind him talking to him about it, he opened an email he'd received. I'd been looking at his screen (because I was talking about the computer and I was behind his chair and he was facing away from me, so I saw the email as it opened and couldn't help noticing the content.

The email was from another male member of his team making unpleasant comments about how I look and that I am unattractive and joking that the guy I was talking to should ask me out. He snorted but closed the mail as quickly as he could. Not quickly enough.

I could have said something or reported it. However, I was only working on that computer problem (which wasn't actually part of my job) because desktop support had been unable to fix it and I'd been asked by someone higher up to do it as a favour. Therefore I was unlikely to work with that team again and I ignored it.

It did make me feel embarrassed and upset though. It wasn't so much the insults but the thought that people thought about me that way at work - a place I was absolutely professional.

I often wonder now if I should have said something.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don't accept being touched when I don't want to be touched in a sex club. I certainly wouldn't tolerate it at work.

I was in education until '97 though and didn't start work until after that. The situation was already changing then, (except in investment banking

), so I'm happy to say I've only been made to feel uncomfortable at work once, that I can recall.

It did make me feel embarrassed and upset though. It wasn't so much the insults but the thought that people thought about me that way at work - a place I was absolutely professional.

I often wonder now if I should have said something."

Awful! But we have seen on here recently how a woman's appearance very much affects the way that people think of her and their attittude towards her.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"i got pulled up with accusations of Sexual Harassment i was totally devastated..

felt like the scum of the earth and that i could no longer have a joke or conversation

Can you say what you said or did?

Was having a conversation with friends about pole dancing (she teaches pole dancing) and apparently someone over heard and reported me.. my friend/work mate wasnt even bothered.

Was told very clearly not to mention anything remotely sexual as it could be misinterpretated..

I was baffled "

Could the conversation have been in graphic terms and that was what offended the person ? Or was it a general conversation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol I wouldn't mind it, but in most cases of harassment its the man that does it.. would love a woman at work do some sexual harassing on me looooool

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

I guess you had to see the email. It was the way he commented.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

I guess you had to see the email. It was the way he commented."

It was a genuine question though....would that get someone into strife at work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So basically you'd get yourself in so much shit you'd be fired?

It would solve the problem but not the best way to do it."

How do you know that would get me in shit? If he was getting away with it I would assume I would too

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

I guess you had to see the email. It was the way he commented.

It was a genuine question though....would that get someone into strife at work?"

It would depend on the way it was done which is why its so bloomin difficult. No one wants a situation where a man or a woman can't say to a colleague "you look nice today" but tone and intent have to be taken into account.

Of course if someone says "you look very fuckable" that's a different story all together.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

The recipient of the email clearly realised it was inappropriate, given the speed with which he closed it.

Besides, in a work situation, I'd rather people are not thinking of me that way. I am careful to do nothing to encourage it. I know it will happen anyway, however inappropriate I find it, since I'm not totally daft, but I don't like it.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

I guess you had to see the email. It was the way he commented.

It was a genuine question though....would that get someone into strife at work?"

Yes, if I had complained, I'm sure it would. Using the email system for it really wasn't bright.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

I guess you had to see the email. It was the way he commented.

It was a genuine question though....would that get someone into strife at work?

Of course if someone says "you look very fuckable" that's a different story all together. "

I meant more in the way VV said it happened

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

I guess you had to see the email. It was the way he commented.

It was a genuine question though....would that get someone into strife at work?

Of course if someone says "you look very fuckable" that's a different story all together. "

The tone of the e-mail was much more the latter, but in the negative rather than the positive, of course.

And no, I wouldn't have felt any more comfortable if it had been appreciation rather than an insult, before anyone asks!

It was more "that woman working at your desk is hot (in a she's really not tone), maybe you should ask her on a date (in an as if anyone would and I'm taking the piss tone)"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

I guess you had to see the email. It was the way he commented.

It was a genuine question though....would that get someone into strife at work?

Of course if someone says "you look very fuckable" that's a different story all together.

I meant more in the way VV said it happened

Yea I realised that after I'd posted ...that'll teach me to reply before reading it all

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

I guess you had to see the email. It was the way he commented.

It was a genuine question though....would that get someone into strife at work?

Of course if someone says "you look very fuckable" that's a different story all together.

The tone of the e-mail was much more the latter, but in the negative rather than the positive, of course.

And no, I wouldn't have felt any more comfortable if it had been appreciation rather than an insult, before anyone asks!

It was more "that woman working at your desk is hot (in a she's really not tone), maybe you should ask her on a date (in an as if anyone would and I'm taking the piss tone)""

What an utter arse he was, unkind, nasty and completely wrong. Big bully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its still rife, just not talked about and its a 2 way street I've had women harass me in work .... sadly just not on here

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By *ranthamThroatMan
over a year ago

Grantham.

Anyone dare try it with me would get a verbal dressing down, I would make sure others know about it, including anyone higher up my chain if I was in that situation, next time I would simply slap them and say you were warned to stay the F*** away from this now F*** off scum ball, in full view of other people even better!

Had it in tourism, when he knocked on my door and said wanting sucking...told him go speak to his wife, if he didn't I would & I would remove them from the tour....without compensation as I would be reporting his approach to my company.

I called my company and they were removed within 4 hours.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

I guess you had to see the email. It was the way he commented.

It was a genuine question though....would that get someone into strife at work?

Yes, if I had complained, I'm sure it would. Using the email system for it really wasn't bright."

But would it be more inappropriate use of the E-mail system or sexual harassment?

I think things have moved on a lot since I first started work, inappropriate actions used to happen all the time where I worked but it seemed like it was acceptable then....but I think there is a fine line to be had over SH.

My OH works with a few women but wouldn't even dream of saying a person looked nice for fear of being brought to book and yet if someone said that to me in work I would take it for what I think it intended.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

I guess you had to see the email. It was the way he commented.

It was a genuine question though....would that get someone into strife at work?

Of course if someone says "you look very fuckable" that's a different story all together.

I meant more in the way VV said it happened

Mailing a colleague to chat about how the woman fixing his computer as a favour is a munter and it's a laugh that anyone would ask her out?

I was uncomfortable and the recipient clearly realised it wasn't appropriate.

I ignored it anyway, but I don't expect that sort of shit at work.

I know other people have had a lot worse, but I still don't expect that shit at work.

Funnily enough, having thought I wouldn't work with the same team again...a couple of weeks later, a different member of the team started having the same problem and I was the only one who'd been able to fix it. So they called me. Funnily I found myself unavailable and told them I'd pass on the fix to desktop support but would have to decline to help. I had no inclination go and work with that team again, especially as a favour.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

I guess you had to see the email. It was the way he commented.

It was a genuine question though....would that get someone into strife at work?

Of course if someone says "you look very fuckable" that's a different story all together.

The tone of the e-mail was much more the latter, but in the negative rather than the positive, of course.

And no, I wouldn't have felt any more comfortable if it had been appreciation rather than an insult, before anyone asks!

It was more "that woman working at your desk is hot (in a she's really not tone), maybe you should ask her on a date (in an as if anyone would and I'm taking the piss tone)"

What an utter arse he was, unkind, nasty and completely wrong. Big bully."

Nah, not a bully, just a misogynistic arse. I don't know which guy was the one who sent it but I'm willing to bet he was no Adonis himself.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Yeah, I think I would have done the same

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"So is commenting on someones appearance sexual harassment?

I guess you had to see the email. It was the way he commented.

It was a genuine question though....would that get someone into strife at work?

Yes, if I had complained, I'm sure it would. Using the email system for it really wasn't bright.

But would it be more inappropriate use of the E-mail system or sexual harassment?

It was the behaviour that was unacceptable. Using the email system merely meant I could prove it, rather than it being he said. she said. That's why using the e-mail system was stupid.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Companies tend to take a dim view of their systems being used for such things.

Many consider sending jokes around to be a disciplinary offence, because it's not work related and carries the risk of someone being offended.

Using the email system to send comments about the (sexual) attractiveness or otherwise of another member of staff would not be taken lightly in most companies I've worked in, (and as a contractor, that's quite a lot).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So basically you'd get yourself in so much shit you'd be fired?

It would solve the problem but not the best way to do it.

How do you know that would get me in shit? If he was getting away with it I would assume I would too

Well for your reply to make any sense it would have to be said in a way where it could be over heard. Along with the way your insinuating being gay is a negative if another member of staff who wa gay over heard it and complained you'd be fucked.

If he reported you having made such remakes again you'd be fucked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a hard subject to comment on. I went through a dreadful time in my last job with a senior manager. I did complain to the relevant people and there was cctv footage that proved my case. But I was made to feel so bad. The onus was on me for him to be suspended while a inquiry took place BUT I was advised not to do it as I would get a bad name for myself. He was a twat and a bully and everyone knew it. I decided the best thing to do was resign x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Companies tend to take a dim view of their systems being used for such things.

Many consider sending jokes around to be a disciplinary offence, because it's not work related and carries the risk of someone being offended.

Yeah I know someone who knows all about that but sadly found out the hard way when a joke got sent to the wrong person

but I still think that is a different issue altogether.

He was still being an arse though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You only have to read the Vanessa Feltz thread to see what some people's attitudes are to sexual harassment. A person had complained she had been harassed and the underlying tone of the thread was I don't believe her cos she's a fat ugly cunt with an irritating voice.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yep! Unbelievable if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I've seen and heard people say, including on here, that if fat people don't like being insulted and the butt of jokes, they should lose weight

Basic playground bully tactics, pressuring someone to change to "fit in", is bad enough but for the same thing to be said by adults?

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"You only have to read the Vanessa Feltz thread to see what some people's attitudes are to sexual harassment. A person had complained she had been harassed and the underlying tone of the thread was I don't believe her cos she's a fat ugly cunt with an irritating voice. "
It wasn't the sexual harrassment part that pisses me off, it was the fact she had left it 18 fucking years. I also never said she was fat or ugly, just that she was a cunt. Which I stand by. My attitude to sexual harrassment is my affair, of which I have chosen not to voice my opinion on. But couldn't your attitude also constitute the very behaviour you seem to vehemently be against? We all have an opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the question of remarking on someone's appearance being sexual harassment, is not as much about what the 'intent'behind the remark is but about how the remark is received. I *think* it's less common in this country but often in the U.s. men have been pulled on harassment for saying a woman looked nice in general, or that blouse looked nice on her just as much as the ones who said 'f*ck me and I will give you a promotion'. The email vv describes would've constituted harassment.... Which under Uk law is actually gender discrimination, as well as inappropriate use of company resources and professional misconduct. They both *could* have been terminated by the company.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to work for a fake tan company. One of my roles was to apply by hand fake tan to dozens of young sexy naked ladies. Was so humiliating the way they used to tease and flirt. All I wanted to do was rub the tan in their pert breasts and buttocks and go home. But no they wanted me to make love to them all. Degrading. You can read a full length version of this in "The stories" section....

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

"Do you think it's still tolerated in everyday life? There is a guy at work who used to be a bit of a slime ball around me making sexual remarks and innuendos...he stopped now as he has a girlfriend

...I did tell him to stop but he always made me feel that it was me that was flirting with him..I'm a flirtatious person but not in work as it's my work place...

Is sexual harassment taken seriously or is it still a case where it is brushed under the carpet?

It should be taken more seriously than ever given the current climate! Sensible people know how to leave sex at home, so he's definitely in the wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You only have to read the Vanessa Feltz thread to see what some people's attitudes are to sexual harassment. A person had complained she had been harassed and the underlying tone of the thread was I don't believe her cos she's a fat ugly cunt with an irritating voice. It wasn't the sexual harrassment part that pisses me off, it was the fact she had left it 18 fucking years. I also never said she was fat or ugly, just that she was a cunt. Which I stand by. My attitude to sexual harrassment is my affair, of which I have chosen not to voice my opinion on. But couldn't your attitude also constitute the very behaviour you seem to vehemently be against? We all have an opinion.

I wasn't referring to the time lapse just the fact that how dare a fat ugly person complain about harassment tone that some people were expressing. It's as if if she was a likable good looking person the accusations would be taken more seriously. But hey it's only her so we'll just dismiss it.

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By *rumCoupleCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

"This is a hard subject to comment on. I went through a dreadful time in my last job with a senior manager. I did complain to the relevant people and there was cctv footage that proved my case. But I was made to feel so bad. The onus was on me for him to be suspended while a inquiry took place BUT I was advised not to do it as I would get a bad name for myself. He was a twat and a bully and everyone knew it. I decided the best thing to do was resign x

Sounds like a textbook case of constructive dismissal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like a textbook case of constructive dismissal."

Not to mention that the onus is actually on the company. Law says that if a complaint of sexual harassment is made, the accused must be transferred pending the investigation. They don't necessarily need to suspend, but they must move them to a place they cannot be in a partition to further harass, coerce, bully, or victimise the victim in any way.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Sounds like a textbook case of constructive dismissal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a tough one because I'm not a big fan of political correctness whilst I am a big fan of increased sexualisation in real life. I'm not one of those people that are super clean in life and super dirty behind closed doors. I like flirtation and think there should be more of it...it's a sign of people relaxing together...and relaxing and feeling good about who they are.

What many of you are talking about here, however, is harassment...plain and simple. I guess I feel the onus should be on harassment and not sex. I think many work places benefit from a heightened sexualisation and think the same goes for life in general. It would be a shame to live in a world where everyone has to walk round wearing a burka. Obviously I'm completely against any form of harassment in the workplace, be it sexual or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like a textbook case of constructive dismissal.

I know but to be honest my Mother was ill at the same time. So that had a lot to do with thinking fuck it I'm going home. I believe in Karma and it will stay on his record x

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