FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Upgrading to Platinum Membership

Jump to newest
 

By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Platinum Membership

Requirements – trading of one kidney and selling into slavery of a family member. Any will do and most people have one who is less than popular. Also unicorn horns and fairy dust also acceptable mediums of exchange as are Mk1 Escorts in mint condition, who are here to enjoy sex and not tout for business.

Benefits – You get to see everyone's friends pictures, hidden pictures, tasteless rejected pictures and also a picture of their living room in its' natural state so you too can see if they are actually the Clampetts. You can also see who people are friends with, have met socially and sexually and those who have rejected meeting them and also why.

You can learn who was rejected for a meet because they looked like not just one of the Proclaimers, but BOTH of the Proclaimers, who was blocked for wanting someone to trim their nostril hairs whilst verbally abusing them in the style of Yoda and which forumite was told to take her titz elsewhere, because she was obviously unhinged.

With Platinum Membership you can look at old threads, future threads, locked threads, deleted posts and once per week surreptitiously edit someone's post to make them look like a nincompoop (this explains a lot of my posts, btw, it's not me, it's those platinum wallahs). You also gain the ability to dip into other people's inboxes.

Regarding socials – you can scan the guest list, veto 2 people – this used to be 4 people until one social was reduced to 7 people in a fit of vetoing – choose the theme and have your very own photo-bitch taking your pictures all night.

In this age of austerity, you do get additional bonuses from Platinum Membership.

You get a 0.0005% reduction in your premiums for FORUM INSURANCE

Detective Hottie Bottie will investigate any dubious profile you like and will also make a personal appearance at your birthday party, bursting out of a cake singing the Burmese national anthem.

And if that wasn't enough, you get an extra egg with your breakfast at Toshn's Cafe.

What else should be added to this stunning package?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Platinum Membership

Requirements – trading of one kidney and selling into slavery of a family member. Any will do and most people have one who is less than popular. Also unicorn horns and fairy dust also acceptable mediums of exchange as are Mk1 Escorts in mint condition, who are here to enjoy sex and not tout for business.

Benefits – You get to see everyone's friends pictures, hidden pictures, tasteless rejected pictures and also a picture of their living room in its' natural state so you too can see if they are actually the Clampetts. You can also see who people are friends with, have met socially and sexually and those who have rejected meeting them and also why.

You can learn who was rejected for a meet because they looked like not just one of the Proclaimers, but BOTH of the Proclaimers, who was blocked for wanting someone to trim their nostril hairs whilst verbally abusing them in the style of Yoda and which forumite was told to take her titz elsewhere, because she was obviously unhinged.

With Platinum Membership you can look at old threads, future threads, locked threads, deleted posts and once per week surreptitiously edit someone's post to make them look like a nincompoop (this explains a lot of my posts, btw, it's not me, it's those platinum wallahs). You also gain the ability to dip into other people's inboxes.

Regarding socials – you can scan the guest list, veto 2 people – this used to be 4 people until one social was reduced to 7 people in a fit of vetoing – choose the theme and have your very own photo-bitch taking your pictures all night.

In this age of austerity, you do get additional bonuses from Platinum Membership.

You get a 0.0005% reduction in your premiums for FORUM INSURANCE

Detective Hottie Bottie will investigate any dubious profile you like and will also make a personal appearance at your birthday party, bursting out of a cake singing the Burmese national anthem.

And if that wasn't enough, you get an extra egg with your breakfast at Toshn's Cafe.

What else should be added to this stunning package? "

Maybe add into it am extra large condom and a wine bottle to stick up ya fanny

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Throw in a guaranteed social appearance from yourself Tina, and sign me up to that baby!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

[Removed by poster at 05/07/14 19:30:48]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Oooh, and is it affiliated to the meerkats yet? I only need 2 more to complete my collection lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

You forgot the real bonus of Platinum Membership: you know who the UNLOSs were.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emon tart Double creamCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Free sky remote?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Platinum Membership

Requirements – trading of one kidney and selling into slavery of a family member. Any will do and most people have one who is less than popular. Also unicorn horns and fairy dust also acceptable mediums of exchange as are Mk1 Escorts in mint condition, who are here to enjoy sex and not tout for business.

Benefits – You get to see everyone's friends pictures, hidden pictures, tasteless rejected pictures and also a picture of their living room in its' natural state so you too can see if they are actually the Clampetts. You can also see who people are friends with, have met socially and sexually and those who have rejected meeting them and also why.

You can learn who was rejected for a meet because they looked like not just one of the Proclaimers, but BOTH of the Proclaimers, who was blocked for wanting someone to trim their nostril hairs whilst verbally abusing them in the style of Yoda and which forumite was told to take her titz elsewhere, because she was obviously unhinged.

With Platinum Membership you can look at old threads, future threads, locked threads, deleted posts and once per week surreptitiously edit someone's post to make them look like a nincompoop (this explains a lot of my posts, btw, it's not me, it's those platinum wallahs). You also gain the ability to dip into other people's inboxes.

Regarding socials – you can scan the guest list, veto 2 people – this used to be 4 people until one social was reduced to 7 people in a fit of vetoing – choose the theme and have your very own photo-bitch taking your pictures all night.

In this age of austerity, you do get additional bonuses from Platinum Membership.

You get a 0.0005% reduction in your premiums for FORUM INSURANCE

Detective Hottie Bottie will investigate any dubious profile you like and will also make a personal appearance at your birthday party, bursting out of a cake singing the Burmese national anthem.

And if that wasn't enough, you get an extra egg with your breakfast at Toshn's Cafe.

What else should be added to this stunning package? "

I love your humour.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Silver is fine for us.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Is there anything else people would like to see in their Platinum Membership?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To unstealth the stealth stalkers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

The extra egg sold it to me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andWCouple
over a year ago

Pontypridd

I actually remortgaged my house to do this but at the last moment I was declined as apparently my escort had some rust problems

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I get sent by pm, 6 witty responses to threads per week. Jolly useful. Don't always use my quota so can sell a couple on...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

You get one forum post a week that no-one is allowed to dispute or troll. And you get one rude reply a month without a forum ban

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could always offer an automated reply service with such gems as:

'I'd fancy a fuck if you spell it right'

' Not tonight hun I'm shaggin your mum/dad/brother'* delete as appropriate

'Yes I'm great thanks'

'Sorry but I don't put anything in my mouth that I haven't sniffed'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A discount at Greggs every third friday of the month.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should get one free profile check which will replace your original boring text with the magic text that gets you loads of mail and laid almost immediately.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Your pictures are automatically fabbed to the top of the hot pictures,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Your pictures are automatically fabbed to the top of the hot pictures, "

Yes, 2,000 free fabs without having to go to the trouble of adding everyone or putting up a spannerish update, like 'fab pics for a meet'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

Notifications when you're popped on someone's hotlist.

Phone numbers of people you like who may go UNLOS (I have a few of those already mind you).

Stealth mode override so you can see who's perving.

A special sarcasm emoticon for forum use.

Free lingerie for life when a photo of you wearing a specific brand gets to 1,000 Fabs.

Finally a d*unk filter to ask if you're sure about going onto the forums, messaging or venturing into the chatrooms whilst inebriated

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Add automatic activation of any desired users mobile or computer cameras, allowing unlimited tracking. Plus real time identity checks, outlining convictions, marriages etc. Platinum plus membership deletes competing profiles in the meets postings for your area, especially anyone who has made snarky comments about you ever, or if you dont like their look or tone of voice, they upstaged you at a social or have poor home decor cushion or throw choices.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emon tart Double creamCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

A filter that shows the real date of the photo.

A try before you meet simulator.....you get 10 seconds of what they would do to you....you also get an option with and without alcohol...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A free cookery course entitled "Cookery and Sex, why you should never confuse the two", and a free family day pass to the little known swinger theme park Humpington House: The jizz is fake but the fun is real!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

With platinum plus, users who turn you down are subject to unlimited unwanted 'fancy a fuck' messages from some rather gross faked profiles. Straight men only get males messaging them - a bit like now? - but several hundred a day.

Your profile is returned by user search results, with the others either missing, or have their photos replaced by automatically photoshopped pics that put them either into the over 60 stones, or under 4 stones body shapes. There would also be lashings of scat inserted, as well as blood baths.

Every forum post you make is replied to with dozens of , and anyone decrying your obvious wisdom gets a forum ban for a month.

Competitors in your area with similar profiles have fake verifications inserted to their pages, all of them along the lines 'I made my excuses and left' 'Genuine, but we couldn't get near to the house, due to the vomit inducing stench', 'Reliable if you're looking for 2 second satisfaction' etc.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Since people are chatting about upgrades, I thought I'd bump this as a reminder of what they can expect

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a handful of fruit salads and black jacks and I'm sold

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Platinum+ is by invitation only

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Platinum+ is by invitation only"

That's us fooked then..........nobody likes riff raff like us

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inaTitz OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"Platinum+ is by invitation only

That's us fooked then..........nobody likes riff raff like us "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Platinum is playing up tonight, it's showing an unlis on some people's accounts.

Not mine though, mine is working fine

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could add a verification translation service

You know.....has magic fingers and tongue......couldn't find his cock..

Gushed for England.....incontinent

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's always been included

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top