FabSwingers.com forum: Men who want you...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

tell you you're the most beautiful woman ever, blah, blah, blah. We have fun and connect, then BAM they don't want you, they even go so far as to try to hurt you.

I thought he was the perfect playmate, I'm not looking for a relationship by the way.

A really good friend in the making.

I am left confused and a little down. I know 'some' men are programmed to say what they think we want to hear.

I know, I know. I need to toughen up but it does seem really hard to find one playmate I can trust.

Do any women here fall for smooth talking men or are your ears and eyes wide open to the bull*hit?

Is there a book on how to spot a bad un? Ha...morning moan over.

Carry on. I'm going to. Just wanted to get that out of me.

Thanks...x

41 and acting like a teenager.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im 50 and act like a teenager from time to time

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

If your post doesn't make me feel good, it must be making you feel a lot worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had this a couple of times now. I just don't assume anything now as you'll only inevitably end up disappointed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok I recently had the same and yea you second guess if it's bullshit they were telling you .

I have decided to just go with it and if it ends it ends less stress that way

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Read your post back to yourself, the bits where you aren't looking for a relationship, then you want someone who is a good friend, then you have fallen for him.

Not being harsh at all but you might be opening yourself up to being hurt, for many it truly is no strings, none whatsoever meaning no contact at all afterwards until the next time they want sex. Weed those guys out and you will be left with the ones who are up for friendship but as you so rightly say some of em will tell you the moon is made of green cheese to get what they want.......the trick is not to believe them in order to get what you want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"tell you you're the most beautiful woman ever, blah, blah, blah. We have fun and connect, then BAM they don't want you, they even go so far as to try to hurt you.

I thought he was the perfect playmate, I'm not looking for a relationship by the way.

A really good friend in the making.

I am left confused and a little down. I know 'some' men are programmed to say what they think we want to hear.

I know, I know. I need to toughen up but it does seem really hard to find one playmate I can trust.

Do any women here fall for smooth talking men or are your ears and eyes wide open to the bull*hit?

Is there a book on how to spot a bad un? Ha...morning moan over.

Carry on. I'm going to. Just wanted to get that out of me.

Thanks...x

41 and acting like a teenager."

It is absolutely infuriating. The bullshit (copious amounts of flattery) has gone over my head for years now, but the dishonesty... Well I'll never get used to that. There's no need.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If your post doesn't make me feel good, it must be making you feel a lot worse.

I'm okay. I always bounce back.

Sorry for negative post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" ... The trick is not to believe them in order to get what you want.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"If your post doesn't make me feel good, it must be making you feel a lot worse.

I'm okay. I always bounce back.

Sorry for negative post.

Ah ha! That's a good attitude to take! Positive and optimistic women are very sexy! And I'm not saying that just to get in ya knickers either!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Read your post back to yourself, the bits where you aren't looking for a relationship, then you want someone who is a good friend, then you have fallen for him.

It was all him telling me this.

I remained coy and distant, for a while.

Anyway I hear what you are saying and thank you.

It is hard to explain and no I didn't fall for him I just really liked him, big time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all get the men who try to fill you with bullshit flattery, I used to fall for it but now I take most with a pinch of salt. I know they find me attractive but certainly aren't the best etc that they claim I am.

I think they look into my pretty eyes and think I fall for everything they say, more fool them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try getting one over me, I will them a tenner

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to treat it as NSA and then let the friendship up over time. It's also good to be honest with yourself and admit to yourself what it is you actually want.

I'm sure you will bounce back, it's not like you'll be stuck for choice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is hard to explain and no I didn't fall for him I just really liked him, big time.

You fell for him hunny and I am sorry he left you hurt I tend to be the one who falls for flattery xx Offers you a cyber hug xx

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Try getting one over me, I will them a tenner

Her"

I'd like to get my leg over and you can keep the dosh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately it's comes with the territory on this site. There's 50 single men for every 1 single woman; a woman will get 50 messages a day at least, where as a man will get a few. It's that ratio for a reason. A lot of men on here will use the site as a way of meeting girls to have affairs or just have NSA encounters and move on, which isn't fair. That said, there are girls who are doing the exact same thing, but there are just less of them.

95% of the people on this site are either bullshitters or cheats, but there's 5% of people who are genuine and really nice. Everyone has their own reason for being here I guess, it's just a matter of finding synergy with someone.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm a guy and I've fallen in love with someone on this site, had my heartbroken and it wasn't fun. But I don't blame anyone and I don't regret it, it's just one of those things. The site is still a great way to meet people who are after the same things, you just have to sift through a lot of dirt to find the gold lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try getting one over me, I will them a tenner

Her

I'd like to get my leg over and you can keep the dosh

"
lol I was going to send you a " fancy a fuck"

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'm more iron pyrites than gold

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Try getting one over me, I will them a tenner

Her

I'd like to get my leg over and you can keep the dosh

lol I was going to send you a " fancy a fuck"

Send me one anyway. Also put in the message 'my! What a big cock you've got, stevie' and then I'll believe you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If your post doesn't make me feel good, it must be making you feel a lot worse.

I'm okay. I always bounce back.

Sorry for negative post.

Ah ha! That's a good attitude to take! Positive and optimistic women are very sexy! And I'm not saying that just to get in ya knickers either!

Haha...thank you Brighton Steve.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It is hard to explain and no I didn't fall for him I just really liked him, big time.

You fell for him hunny and I am sorry he left you hurt I tend to be the one who falls for flattery xx Offers you a cyber hug xx "

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By *anyoufeelmeMan
over a year ago

near you

Same tread line I guess

When you have chatted for so long and found someone who is always on line and likes to chat ... You think there is a link and would like to take it further..

Well that was me a few months ago .. We agreed to meet ... Gave me her address agreed a time ... I spent an hour or so driving there only to find out it was an elderly guy who opened the door

He was pissed of with me and said your the third guy this week who's knocked asking for Adele

No Adele clearly lived there !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

always best to be cautious baring in mind its the internet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no because most men are shallow they are always looking for someone better than you, only nice when they want something. think yourself lucky your not married to one of them. the mr. nice guy types who everyone looks up to

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

if you met on here, airing your laundry is never a wise move.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

A saying I live by and has got me through is promises are a comfort to a fool...I take everything with a pinch of salt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all been said above. ...but....don't let life make you too cynical and defensive...you may just one day have people around you who aren't disingenuous, and if they feel your pushing them away and displaying a hard exterior you may miss out. Just ride out the blues and keep occupied.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"no because most men are shallow they are always looking for someone better than you, only nice when they want something. think yourself lucky your not married to one of them. the mr. nice guy types who everyone looks up to

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

"
You have some huge issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all bullshit, that is the game we play on here. The ones that most seek the flattery are the ones that get hurt the most. I don't play that game which gets me a lot of respect, unfortunately I don't get laid as often. That's the way I play and that way everyone knows where they stand

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

It is absolutely infuriating. The bullshit (copious amounts of flattery) has gone over my head for years now, but the dishonesty... Well I'll never get used to that. There's no need."

Yes, that's the point, you don't have to fall for someone or even believe the flattery - just believing you have found a trustworthy and reliable playmate who will respect you and be considerate is enough to leave you damaged if you even just let your guard down, only to find they are just another callous liar.

It just feels like you've been had by a vampire, any kind of deception sucks the life blood out of you. Its a shame, and so unnecessary.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Any bloke who tells me I'm the most amazing thing since we developed opposable thumbs is one I pay little attention to.

That helps.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"It's all bullshit, that is the game we play on here. The ones that most seek the flattery are the ones that get hurt the most. I don't play that game which gets me a lot of respect, unfortunately I don't get laid as often. That's the way I play and that way everyone knows where they stand"

wise words...

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

WTF....

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

You have some huge issues."

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Read your post back to yourself, the bits where you aren't looking for a relationship, then you want someone who is a good friend, then you have fallen for him.

You always say what I was thinking, oh wise one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If your post doesn't make me feel good, it must be making you feel a lot worse.

I'm okay. I always bounce back.

Sorry for negative post.

its good to get it out of your system and get some perspective on xx

ive had it a few time x n im a bit wiser now x chin up x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Read your post back to yourself, the bits where you aren't looking for a relationship, then you want someone who is a good friend, then you have fallen for him.

You always say what I was thinking, oh wise one

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By *icefellatwoMan
over a year ago

hastings

Most men will tell you what you want to hear until they get what they want.

It gives us all a bad name and we are all tarred with the same brush.

Its difficult enough to get a meet anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"tell you you're the most beautiful woman ever, blah, blah, blah. We have fun and connect, then BAM they don't want you, they even go so far as to try to hurt you.

I thought he was the perfect playmate, I'm not looking for a relationship by the way.

A really good friend in the making.

I am left confused and a little down. I know 'some' men are programmed to say what they think we want to hear.

I know, I know. I need to toughen up but it does seem really hard to find one playmate I can trust.

Do any women here fall for smooth talking men or are your ears and eyes wide open to the bull*hit?

Is there a book on how to spot a bad un? Ha...morning moan over.

Carry on. I'm going to. Just wanted to get that out of me.

Thanks...x

41 and acting like a teenager."

went through the same thing, never again, too many people have abused my trust over the years and I can only trust family and my best friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most men will tell you what you want to hear until they get what they want.

It gives us all a bad name and we are all tarred with the same brush.

Its difficult enough to get a meet anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only compliment I take as honest is you have great tits! Yes I have now shut up and get on with it. Flattery really does get you nowhere

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I think that if people publicise their vulnerabilities then they will attract those people that want to expoit that - and they often end up attracting the very type of person that they are looking to avoid...."

could not agree more...

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

I think that if people publicise their vulnerabilities then they will attract those people that want to exploit that - and they often end up attracting the very type of person that they are looking to avoid....

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

could not agree more...

Sorry I cheated because of the typo

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

could not agree more...

Sorry I cheated because of the typo

and there was me thinking I was Mystic Smeg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry but not all smooth talking men are full of bullshit.

Some people are naturally charming, and that doesn't necessarily mean because they're smooth and charming they are even interested.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"I'm sorry but not all smooth talking men are full of bullshit.

Some people are naturally charming, and that doesn't necessarily mean because they're smooth and charming they are even interested.

I agree with that as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sorry but not all smooth talking men are full of bullshit.

Some people are naturally charming, and that doesn't necessarily mean because they're smooth and charming they are even interested.

Or that they're bastards

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

sadly you often see the same people fall head over heels for someone who has blinked in their direction, they then get hurt time and time again.

it's car crash at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahhh OP you only have to go into the chat-rooms to see and hear all the bullshit people can spout.

A random female on cam with her tits or fanny out can look like a burst sofa to you but she is Venus incarnate to the bullshitters.

If ever I get told how alluring or beautiful I am, a wee visit to the chat-rooms grounds me very quickly. Maybe you should observe this phenomenon for yourself, it helps you develop a thick skin very quickly. xx

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"sadly you often see the same people fall head over heels for someone who has blinked in their direction, they then get hurt time and time again.

it's car crash at times.

both genders...

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By *leasuresharerMan
over a year ago

southampton

Some men are bastards

Some men are on fab

Therefore all men on fab are bastards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sorry but not all smooth talking men are full of bullshit.

Some people are naturally charming, and that doesn't necessarily mean because they're smooth and charming they are even interested.

Or that they're bastards

Exactly. This whole concept of "men can't be friends with women because all he wants you fuck you" is bollocks.

Some men are very social and I will talk to any one male or female. If they compliment you on any way, They're probably being being nice, that's it. But If you then think they only have the intention of sleeping with you then that's your problem, not there's.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

WTF....

oh no sorry, all the men on here are lovely arent they.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

WTF....

oh no sorry, all the men on here are lovely arent they.

Think what you like but your statement is so off the wall....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

WTF....

oh no sorry, all the men on here are lovely arent they.

Sorry I was a bit taken aback by your post as you too are married and using this site for your own purposes. Maybe that's the reason for the WTF. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh no sorry, all the men on here are lovely arent they.

We are indeed. It's a shame you can't see it behind that massive emotional barrier you have

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

WTF....

oh no sorry, all the men on here are lovely arent they.

I am sure there is an element of truth in what you say, not sure most men but there will be a few think along those lines.

a few women too I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

WTF....

oh no sorry, all the men on here are lovely arent they.

Sorry I was a bit taken aback by your post as you too are married and using this site for your own purposes. Maybe that's the reason for the WTF. xx"

Oh my partner knows im on here though, slightly different i think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sadly you often see the same people fall head over heels for someone who has blinked in their direction, they then get hurt time and time again.

it's car crash at times.

"
astute comment

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

luton

You must be meeting wrong guys all the guys my wife have met have been good fun and respectable in fact we have met four of them on several occasions, same as if I meet females, we are there to have fun,and if they want to meet you again and vice versa it shows you enjoy the company,if we met the sort you mention they would get bad re_iews and no second chances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

WTF....

oh no sorry, all the men on here are lovely arent they.

Sorry I was a bit taken aback by your post as you too are married and using this site for your own purposes. Maybe that's the reason for the WTF. xx

Oh my partner knows im on here though, slightly different i think."

I know this, but put yourself in a guys shoes for a moment, how many females can claim the same thing as you? Who's to say what is the truth or untruth. Similar thing for the guys.

Not everyone should be tarred with the same brush in such a sweeping statement as you made. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

You have some huge issues."

Yes and i think you maybe have a few issues yourself.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

You have some huge issues.

Yes and i think you maybe have a few issues yourself.

"
Thats ir detract detract detract.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some men are naturally charming and can't help but complement a woman.The trick is to distinguish between charm and bullshit.

A reality check is also advisable. This is the internet so deciding that you have met your soul mate in the basis of online exchages is in my opinion nieve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

who lies and cheats on his wife with just about anyone who will have him.

WTF....

oh no sorry, all the men on here are lovely arent they.

I am sure there is an element of truth in what you say, not sure most men but there will be a few think along those lines.

a few women too I guess"

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

"sadly you often see the same people fall head over heels for someone who has blinked in their direction, they then get hurt time and time again.

it's car crash at times.

astute comment "

agreed..

for some of both genders who choose to expose their inner soul and air their torment in such a public manner there will be others of both genders who will prey on that..

nature of the beast within both genders..

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

a healthy dose of sceptism and cycnicism go a long way...... but a lot of people do fall for it.....

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By *SweetVioletxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I always remember that everyone who contacts me is trying to (in most cases) fuck me - not necessarily even me - they are looking for a fuck and will use all methods at their disposal to achieve this. Therefore if someone tells me I am gorgeous, sexy, perfect for them etc. I will accept the compliment but always remember the context it is given.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I class it all as "bullshit and lies" and if im proved wrong then all well and good.

Have to say.......im normally right

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"I always remember that everyone who contacts me is trying to (in most cases) fuck me - not necessarily even me - they are looking for a fuck and will use all methods at their disposal to achieve this. Therefore if someone tells me I am gorgeous, sexy, perfect for them etc. I will accept the compliment but always remember the context it is given. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Read your post back to yourself, the bits where you aren't looking for a relationship, then you want someone who is a good friend, then you have fallen for him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Given you're very cagey about actually specifics here it seems this had taken the usual pattern of, you arranged for nsa maybe a friends with benefits type deal you then wanted it to be more and he didn't so it fell apart.

A lot of people here seem to claim to want a fb/fwb situation then in reality expect a relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"a healthy dose of sceptism and cycnicism go a long way...... but a lot of people do fall for it.....

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Given you're very cagey about actually specifics here it seems this had taken the usual pattern of, you arranged for nsa maybe a friends with benefits type deal you then wanted it to be more and he didn't so it fell apart.

A lot of people here seem to claim to want a fb/fwb situation then in reality expect a relationship"

I don't get that from the OP at all, what I got is that she was DECEIVED by someone pretending to offer friendship and have a higher regard for her than was the truth.

I can meet people on any level, what I cannot abide is people pretending to be one thing when they are quite another. Do you see?? It's not that they didn't want more, it's that the LIED about what they did want, that's what pisses so many women off!!

No, just man up - say what you mean, mean what you say, and let the dice fall where they may.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If the behaviours inside a fb relationship dont match it right then stop it is the best policy. Thats if it is too romantic, abusive or whatever. Know what you want and discard anything and anyone who does not support you getting it. There are people who are screwed up, they can play psychological games with you, and may appear like angels. Again, anything that does not fit what is appropriate, even if seemingly nice, can be fools gold. Drop them. As for yourself, if you are vulnerable on the inside, and if this has shown it, then do what you can to sort yourself out. No strings sex can be great, but it is important to protect your well being. Maybe take a break or just meet couples or at clubs where there is less involvement away from the physical. Find what is right for you and trust your gut instinct on men, looking for similar patterns in future. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people here seem to claim to want a fb/fwb situation then in reality expect a relationship"

Hahaha well said Alan. That's why you got rid of certain someone. FB thinking they were in a relationship and dictating you not to meet me hahahahaa. Hope Vicky Pollard learnt the lesson hard way!! Good riddance .

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"If the behaviours inside a fb relationship dont match it right then stop it is the best policy. Thats if it is too romantic, abusive or whatever. Know what you want and discard anything and anyone who does not support you getting it. There are people who are screwed up, they can play psychological games with you, and may appear like angels. Again, anything that does not fit what is appropriate, even if seemingly nice, can be fools gold. Drop them. As for yourself, if you are vulnerable on the inside, and if this has shown it, then do what you can to sort yourself out. No strings sex can be great, but it is important to protect your well being. Maybe take a break or just meet couples or at clubs where there is less involvement away from the physical. Find what is right for you and trust your gut instinct on men, looking for similar patterns in future. Good luck! "

Wise, as ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did he try to hurt you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people here seem to claim to want a fb/fwb situation then in reality expect a relationship

I don't get that from the OP at all, what I got is that she was DECEIVED by someone pretending to offer friendship and have a higher regard for her than was the truth.

No, just man up - say what you mean, mean what you say, and let the dice fall where they may."

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

sorry to hear your man has abandoned you .. maybe im a bit sentimental but i do try to stay friends with the ladies i meet .. if i get annoyed i will have a nasty streak .. but 99% of the time i just love their friendship and company

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"sorry to hear your man has abandoned you .. maybe im a bit sentimental but i do try to stay friends with the ladies i meet .. if i get annoyed i will have a nasty streak .. but 99% of the time i just love their friendship and company "

I'm fine.

I'm not airing my dirty laundry.

I thought I could talk to fellow fabs about this as no one else will understand.

I don't seek flattery or fall in love at the first interested look.

What I've never experienced is 2 different people.

No he wasn't from here!

Thanks for all your comments though.

I'm learning, always learning!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had relationships off the back of meeting people from this site. I've dated at restaurants, gone partying around the country and fallen in love, so it is possible. I also don't regret meeting any of the people that I have through fab. I've made some great friends who I care for dearly, so I certainly don't see this as a site for just hooking up for sex, although let's face it, the sex is a bonus.

I firmly believe that everyone should be honest from the get go, lay their cards on the table and be upfront about what they want.

The moral of the story is that fab probably isn't the best place to find true love, however it can happen and you can also make some great friends if you're willing to make the effort to be honest and genuine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had relationships off the back of meeting people from this site. I've dated at restaurants, gone partying around the country and fallen in love, so it is possible. I also don't regret meeting any of the people that I have through fab. I've made some great friends who I care for dearly, so I certainly don't see this as a site for just hooking up for sex, although let's face it, the sex is a bonus.

I firmly believe that everyone should be honest from the get go, lay their cards on the table and be upfront about what they want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many men wanted me so I blocked single guys problem solved.

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