FabSwingers.com forum: Teenage daughter

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Serious question how do I deal with an hormonal 12 year old been having serious problems with her the last 6 months and getting worse with attitude and violent outbursts having big flare ups around the time she is due on have been to docs and waiting on blood tests. Any tips will be truely grateful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oooooooooo i just dont know ,,,,take her the doctors or ask sum expert advice from the web or ask the hospital dunno plenty of stuff on web i guess

cheers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess also its her age thats to blame every child that age goes though it even i did.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im even thinking about getting her a punch bag to release her frustration.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im even thinking about getting her a punch bag to release her frustration."

Well yeah u do that hunny x

ps id still love to meet ya 1day lol,

just take her out sumwhere ie a theme park,,,some fairground i dont know,,treat her a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went through the same with my daughter from around that age and it did last a while,she would be screaming and shouting at me then when she went to ex husbands she would be like a little angel.it really felt like she hated me as i didnt have any of it with my two boys.

Everyone i spoke to said it was hormones and it would settle down,and it did eventually i had to learn to try and remember what it was like for me at that age and try to bite my lip and not argue back at her,which was making things worse.

She is 18 in a couple of months and she has grown into a lovely young lady and as well as mother and daughter we are best friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im even thinking about getting her a punch bag to release her frustration."

Or a staightjacket to relieve yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im even thinking about getting her a punch bag to release her frustration.

Or a staightjacket to relieve yours

2rite! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we had the same problem, just remember its a hard time for her, we found talking to her a help making her feel more adult, giving her responsability etc, not over yet but much better.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks guys its just so frusrtating and yes I do have quality time with her and as single mum with younger daughter we try and have one on one just treated her to new haircut and styled. Off to pics in a few weeks to see eclipse.And yes I get the same when she stops with my parents all I get is that she dont do it for us grr.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have 3 daughters and i went thro hell with my middle one, when she hit puberty she changed into a different person, always being sent home from school of hitting other kids, swearing at teachers, shouting at me all the time, hitting my other kids, according to her everyone hated her, i didnt love her, she wished she was never born, it was daily and endless, if i even so much as told her to tidy her room it would blow up out of control to the point she'd leave the house and not come back for several days, id have the police out, then get moaned at by the police cause it was happening so regular, i took her to the docs and asked for psychiatric help in the end, but he didnt listern to me, so i just had to put up with it, and it lasted years, i got to the point i hated being in the house with her because it was just agruments and abuse day after day, shes 17 now and coming thro the other side of it but to be honest looking back i have no idea how i coped at times

sorry not much help i know but just wanted you to know your not the only one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah but which 3 daughters is better?

only 1way to find out---

FIGHT!!!! lol

sorry just a joke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yeah but which 3 daughters is better?

only 1way to find out---

FIGHT!!!! lol

sorry just a joke.

im sure your the reason i moved away from mansfield lol

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

I’ve raised 4 children, two boys and two girls, all are now grown-up and flown the nest. There were few issue arising from the trauma of going through puberty but I always exercise the same policy with any situation that erupts from anger/tantrum etc. STAY CALM. If a person gets aggressive and you meet and match it with aggression the net result is TWICE as much anger and aggression.

If you deal with the situation in calm and controlled but never patronising way then it tends to deflate rather than add-to the issue.

I would say the path through puberty is or can be a form of temporary insanity and in my experience girls seem to have a worse time of it than boys. The perception the teenager has of his/her environment is not the same as an adult but typically nothing will convince them otherwise.

Be strong and calm, effectively ignoring un-required behaviour but reward good behaviour. Maintain your house rules and be consistent and hopefully things will settle down as the hormonal system starts to settle down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve raised 4 children, two boys and two girls, all are now grown-up and flown the nest. There were few issue arising from the trauma of going through puberty but I always exercise the same policy with any situation that erupts from anger/tantrum etc. STAY CALM. If a person gets aggressive and you meet and match it with aggression the net result is TWICE as much anger and aggression.

If you deal with the situation in calm and controlled but never patronising way then it tends to deflate rather than add-to the issue.

My Daughter went through a similar time, I treated her as explained in the above post, she's a nice Girl but bloody expensive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah n so are u kev! lol (just a joke) lol lol

but know wot u mean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah n so are u kev! lol (just a joke) lol lol

but know wot u mean.

What do you mean, I am expensive ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah n so are u kev! lol (just a joke) lol lol

but know wot u mean.

What do you mean, I am expensive ?

i dont know u prob got massive bills ie car house same as all of us lol

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

Helen just added… “I always found with my 3 girls that a day out with mum sorted out a multitude of sins. Make her feel special and treat her as a young adult not a child.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got to agree with Angie n Mr.Man

Stay calm

Maintain your standards

Negotiate rules

Show you can be trusted

Just be there when she fucks up

BUT NEVER....... give in when she's having a tantrum.

Like most kids......... yeah hormones count but it's when they learn that stamping brings results that they keep it up and why not?

See you when she's 25

She really does love you despite what she says and does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Got to agree with Angie n Mr.Man

Stay calm

Maintain your standards

Negotiate rules

Show you can be trusted

Just be there when she fucks up

BUT NEVER....... give in when she's having a tantrum.

Like most kids......... yeah hormones count but it's when they learn that stamping brings results that they keep it up and why not?

See you when she's 25

She really does love you despite what she says and does. "

Yeah good 1 good 1 lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I too have been there, things are slightly better though, fingers crossed she's growing out of it!

The best advice I can give is get the punch bag and encourage her to beat the crap out of it, or a pillow, it was suggested to us by a social worker and it does help. Exercise really helps too. releases all those happy endorphins (or something like that)

Pick your arguments, work out if its really worth taking a stand over relatively minor stuff, save it for the biggies. Also have a reward and repurcussion system in place. And if they earn a reward for cleaning thier room you don't take it away even if they then kick a hole in the wall. Theres a repurcussion in place for that, but every acts seperate. Its really hard sometimes when you just wanna beat them with the big stick with rusty nails in BUT it did help me in the end. I know your a single mum, me too, but get everyone whos willing to help involved. Also get in touch with her school, find out what they can do to help, they have loads of resources available. I was surprised at how much my daughters school helped, even though there wasn't really any problems at school. Oh and spend time with them, even when you really don't want to. We got to the stage where we were hardly ever in the same room and could not think of anything we wanted to do together. We started by watching eastenders together and went from there. If all else fails, walk away, and ring me and get it off your chest poppet xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I too have been there, things are slightly better though, fingers crossed she's growing out of it!

Thank you honey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no problems shaz x

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By *iamondladyWoman
over a year ago

titsville

"Serious question how do I deal with an hormonal 12 year old been having serious problems with her the last 6 months and getting worse with attitude and violent outbursts having big flare ups around the time she is due on have been to docs and waiting on blood tests. Any tips will be truely grateful."

If it's hormonal I found Evening promise capsules worked wonders as it balances the moods and helps with skin etc too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's hormonal I found Evening promise capsules worked wonders as it balances the moods and helps with skin etc too."

Uhmmmmmm I'm very sceptical about homeopathy and those that I do believe in take months to take effect.

Ever read the ingredients of these things ? There's barely ANY primrose oil in them.

They could have a good placebo effect if someone believes in them tho xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's hormonal I found Evening promise capsules worked wonders as it balances the moods and helps with skin etc too.

Uhmmmmmm I'm very sceptical about homeopathy and those that I do believe in take months to take effect.

Ever read the ingredients of these things ? There's barely ANY primrose oil in them.

They could have a good placebo effect if someone believes in them tho xx"

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm good 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mother of three girls here!

I find it difficult offering this kind of advice as your parenting techniques will differ from mine!

All I'll say remember your the mother be that and be there with the hugs, even when you want to lock her in the cellar lol!

Good luck, they grow out of it...quickly!

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By *iceguydaveMan
over a year ago

Monmouth

I'd have to echo much of the very good advice already given by Granny C and others - my perspective is maybe a little different as a single dad of a girl now nearly seventeen.

I know it feels like it's never-ending when she's bad, but honestly it is almost certainly 'just a phase' and the young woman who comes out the other end will love you for the support and care you give her when she's confused and angry - and not entirely sure what she's angry at..

My kids lost their mum back in 2004 so I've had quite a while in which to try to learn how to supply both mum and dad type parenting, and the stuff she should by rights have had from her mum has been very hard for me - us fellas like to rationalise and fix things, not just sympathise and listen and hug. But that's what she needs from you.

Finding some way for her to burn up some of that energy is probably going to be good - my daughter was in the school hockey team, and it gave her the opportunity to let rip a few times a week in a (relatively!) controlled environment.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll both get through it fine in time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single dad of a 17 year daughter! Sorry to say its doesn't get any easier! Mine is still like that! Good luck make sure you get your own quality time and don't let it get you down!

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

1. Leather her. Or use a big stick.

2. Prove you are the best by out-apeshitting her.

3. Embarrass her in public and threaten worse unless she STFU.

4. Sedatives slipped into her food. Or yours, whatever.

5. Have her adopted. In Australia.

No need to thank me, just let my secretary know where to send the invoice.

The Wolf

World-Respected Child Psychologist and Behavioural Expert.

(Always been single, no kids.)

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"1. Leather her. Or use a big stick.

2. Prove you are the best by out-apeshitting her.

3. Embarrass her in public and threaten worse unless she STFU.

4. Sedatives slipped into her food. Or yours, whatever.

5. Have her adopted. In Australia.

No need to thank me, just let my secretary know where to send the invoice.

The Wolf

World-Respected Child Psychologist and Behavioural Expert.

(Always been single, no kids.)"
you missed your vocation in life obviously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i remember what i was like at that age.....fuckin nightmare!! it was all hormones and kevin the teenager tantrums!! my mum started me in kick boxing lessons to let the anger out and it honestly did work!! and can now beat the crap out of anyone who annoys me!!

seriously though its a tough time for all involved and nowadays i wouldnt want to be a teenager for all the money in the world!! xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i remember what i was like at that age.....fuckin nightmare!! it was all hormones and kevin the teenager tantrums!! my mum started me in kick boxing lessons to let the anger out and it honestly did work!! and can now beat the crap out of anyone who annoys me!!

seriously though its a tough time for all involved and nowadays i wouldnt want to be a teenager for all the money in the world!! xx"

I nickname Rosie, Kevin lol and have just bought the punch bag and having it fitted at the weekend so will see if that helps. I have asked if she wants to go karate, boxing or something like that to release frustration but just not interested and it is hormonal week before she due on its like a volcano erupting and she cant handle it herself she physically shaking with anger and slightest thing sets her off and she just 12.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watch her diet xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am watching her diet and we have been going to carnegie club for the last month and its going pretty well

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