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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

as you all know im been on here a while

lots of you know ive struggled cos of my past ,lots have said im looking for the wrong thing on here when i say i would like to be taken for a meal first and meet someone more than once ,so ive looked at dating sites ,thinking ok guys on there prob will want sex but not tell me to do stuff i not want ,

but sadly finding married guys looking for sex cos they arent getting enough ,and getting contacted by 3 guys on another site all attached leaves me worried ,you see my point is if i met someone and ended up in a relationship and say in 4 or 5 years i went off sex ,what then ??? they would be off looking elsewhere ,thats why its hard cos its too easy to get it elsewhere x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

marry a much older man like i have, or meet men on a religious dating site because they wouldnt be like other men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think each person should decide what they want from this lifestyle and accept the positive and negative aspects that come with it, otherwise they run-the-risk of becoming disillusioned because reality doesn't always match expectation or desire..

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Relationships and life can be tricky at times. Some men on here would be happy to do some 'dating' style things like a meal and adhere to any groundrules or boundaries you put in place. I'm not overly convinced about any fidelity longterm though as a function of the man being on here in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you cant live your life now because of what might happen in the future - you might not lose your sexual desire in 5 years and then youve missed out of 5 years of sexy times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others? "

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be."

Perhaps I'm too eager to believe what I see in the news

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

Perhaps I'm too eager to believe what I see in the news "

They arent all like that though.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

Perhaps I'm too eager to believe what I see in the news

They arent all like that though.

"

I know of a Muslim swinger!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm Catholic

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

Perhaps I'm too eager to believe what I see in the news

They arent all like that though.

"

Lol so how do you tell the ones that are?? No different to being on here and other dating sites really!!

OP I'm glad you have made this decision as I have felt, after reading your other posts that at this time in your life this site is not for you. Take some time to be alone learn to like and even lobe yourself again. You don't need a man to be with all the time and jumping from one relationship to another won't let you build on the lessons you learnt from your previous relationship.

All the best whatever you decide to do in the future.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

And a devout Christian one and loads of pagan/Wicca ones, and all sorts really. A lot of women scream 'oh god, steve, you're so fucking good' but I never believe them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Catholics can get absolution in the confessional

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Catholics can get absolution in the confessional "

If there's time...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

Perhaps I'm too eager to believe what I see in the news

They arent all like that though.

Lol so how do you tell the ones that are?? No different to being on here and other dating sites really!!

OP I'm glad you have made this decision as I have felt, after reading your other posts that at this time in your life this site is not for you. Take some time to be alone learn to like and even lobe yourself again. You don't need a man to be with all the time and jumping from one relationship to another won't let you build on the lessons you learnt from your previous relationship.

All the best whatever you decide to do in the future. "

What she said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relationships always start with sex in the foreground. But often become much more than that And sex whilst an important component is not the only component. Due to cancer treatment our sex life dwindled to virtually nothing for a year or so, it has recovered now but our marriage survived the drought.

Don't give up on yourself, and try to live for today not far into the future where the what if game can mess with your mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think dating sites just attract the wrong sort a lot of the time though.

some men like the idea of having sex with different woman but they wouldnt want to do it in real life.

they may have a lower sex drive or be too shy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Self pity threads like this really grate! The answer is simple USE A MORE APPROPRIATE SITE this one is for swinging as in the site name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Catholics can get absolution in the confessional

If there's time... "

So little time...so many to do

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Catholics can get absolution in the confessional

If there's time... "

Would it be disrespectful to mention anal beads?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

Perhaps I'm too eager to believe what I see in the news

They arent all like that though.

Lol so how do you tell the ones that are?? No different to being on here and other dating sites really!!

OP I'm glad you have made this decision as I have felt, after reading your other posts that at this time in your life this site is not for you. Take some time to be alone learn to like and even lobe yourself again. You don't need a man to be with all the time and jumping from one relationship to another won't let you build on the lessons you learnt from your previous relationship.

All the best whatever you decide to do in the future. "

Agreed, Evie speaks much sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

Perhaps I'm too eager to believe what I see in the news

They arent all like that though.

"

No. and not all men cheat. some do. some don't. same as some ladies.

My point is; that being religeous doesn't make any difference to a persons fidelity. Why? Because we're all just people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/06/14 11:06:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Catholics can get absolution in the confessional

If there's time...

Would it be disrespectful to mention anal beads? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

Perhaps I'm too eager to believe what I see in the news

They arent all like that though.

No. and not all men cheat. some do. some don't. same as some ladies.

My point is; that being religeous doesn't make any difference to a persons fidelity. Why? Because we're all just people. "

Religious men are less likely to though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"as you all know im been on here a while

lots of you know ive struggled cos of my past ,lots have said im looking for the wrong thing on here when i say i would like to be taken for a meal first and meet someone more than once ,so ive looked at dating sites ,thinking ok guys on there prob will want sex but not tell me to do stuff i not want ,

but sadly finding married guys looking for sex cos they arent getting enough ,and getting contacted by 3 guys on another site all attached leaves me worried ,you see my point is if i met someone and ended up in a relationship and say in 4 or 5 years i went off sex ,what then ??? they would be off looking elsewhere ,thats why its hard cos its too easy to get it elsewhere x"

The guys here I chat to are happy to meet for socials. Have yet to have dinner with one but Im happy with a drink or coffee just to see if there is a connection outside of Fab. It seems to work mostly. They are out there. You seem a nice lady, maybe hide your profile take a little break

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"as you all know im been on here a while

lots of you know ive struggled cos of my past ,lots have said im looking for the wrong thing on here when i say i would like to be taken for a meal first and meet someone more than once ,so ive looked at dating sites ,thinking ok guys on there prob will want sex but not tell me to do stuff i not want ,

but sadly finding married guys looking for sex cos they arent getting enough ,and getting contacted by 3 guys on another site all attached leaves me worried ,you see my point is if i met someone and ended up in a relationship and say in 4 or 5 years i went off sex ,what then ??? they would be off looking elsewhere ,thats why its hard cos its too easy to get it elsewhere x

The guys here I chat to are happy to meet for socials. Have yet to have dinner with one but Im happy with a drink or coffee just to see if there is a connection outside of Fab. It seems to work mostly. They are out there. You seem a nice lady, maybe hide your profile take a little break "

No need to hide I'm very happy thank you and yes they are out there

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"as you all know im been on here a while

lots of you know ive struggled cos of my past ,lots have said im looking for the wrong thing on here when i say i would like to be taken for a meal first and meet someone more than once ,so ive looked at dating sites ,thinking ok guys on there prob will want sex but not tell me to do stuff i not want ,

but sadly finding married guys looking for sex cos they arent getting enough ,and getting contacted by 3 guys on another site all attached leaves me worried ,you see my point is if i met someone and ended up in a relationship and say in 4 or 5 years i went off sex ,what then ??? they would be off looking elsewhere ,thats why its hard cos its too easy to get it elsewhere x"

I am going to try and make sense in English

You don't know what is going to happen in the future and yes could be bad but could also be amazing.

And if you are in a relationship for 4 or 5 years and did go off sex which you don't know... I hope that you would have establish a relationship not solely based on sex but based on love, respect and understanding and other values...And that your partner would support you in helping you through it instead of jumping online.

Not all guys go and find it elsewhere when there's a little turbulence at home. There are some decent guys too and there is no way of telling who they are.

So I say go for it and live

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

Perhaps I'm too eager to believe what I see in the news

They arent all like that though.

No. and not all men cheat. some do. some don't. same as some ladies.

My point is; that being religeous doesn't make any difference to a persons fidelity. Why? Because we're all just people.

Religious men are less likely to though."

Perhaps you're right but I have my doubts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life's too short...live and enjoy it while you can. Nobody knows what's around the corner.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"its too easy to get it elsewhere x"

I think a few of the married men on here would disagree with you on that. There are lots of places to look for it. Getting it is something entirely different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"as you all know im been on here a while

lots of you know ive struggled cos of my past ,lots have said im looking for the wrong thing on here when i say i would like to be taken for a meal first and meet someone more than once ,so ive looked at dating sites ,thinking ok guys on there prob will want sex but not tell me to do stuff i not want ,

but sadly finding married guys looking for sex cos they arent getting enough ,and getting contacted by 3 guys on another site all attached leaves me worried ,you see my point is if i met someone and ended up in a relationship and say in 4 or 5 years i went off sex ,what then ??? they would be off looking elsewhere ,thats why its hard cos its too easy to get it elsewhere x

The guys here I chat to are happy to meet for socials. Have yet to have dinner with one but Im happy with a drink or coffee just to see if there is a connection outside of Fab. It seems to work mostly. They are out there. You seem a nice lady, maybe hide your profile take a little break

No need to hide I'm very happy thank you and yes they are out there "

Sorry i got my posters mixed up. was meant for the original poster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was on a dating site several years ago and met a few men at a pub and they bought me drinks or a meal, we just chatted didnt mention sex.

i knew they were single and one bloke said he was glad to have me keep him company. one bloke saw me a while later on a site like this one and he said he was surprised because he thought i wasnt the type of person to be on there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You seem a nice lady, maybe hide your profile take a little break "

This.

As soon as you start to think about fab (or other sites) in any kind of serious terms you need to walk away for a bit.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

My Grandad always taught me 'no-one will love you, until you learn to love yourself.'

I think you need some time out from swinging and dating and just learn to be you. You don't need a man to define you and anyone that tells you different, friends or family, just ditch them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

Perhaps I'm too eager to believe what I see in the news

They arent all like that though.

Lol so how do you tell the ones that are?? No different to being on here and other dating sites really!!

OP I'm glad you have made this decision as I have felt, after reading your other posts that at this time in your life this site is not for you. Take some time to be alone learn to like and even lobe yourself again. You don't need a man to be with all the time and jumping from one relationship to another won't let you build on the lessons you learnt from your previous relationship.

All the best whatever you decide to do in the future. "
I was like the OP going from one bad relationship to another, and then I decided to have some time alone and realised that I really liked who I am, I've become more confident but I've still got a way to go, but I'm so glad I took the plunge to be on my own, I can highly recommend it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lets not forget that there are some lovely single men out there

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

ive been on my own for nearly 2 yrs ,just i sometimes ponder over my future as im not that old yet ,but as i went from one bully straight into the arms of another i just not want to be lets say married and always on edge wondering if he will turn into a bully or a cheater...

ive only ever wanted from this site is for someone to meet now again spend a few hours with them and yes more than once for my safety i not want loads of different men turning up at my house x

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I do think when you are In a negative place with life you will attract negativity and people feed off that and take you for an idiot...however when you get into a positive mind frame you attract different people more positive people that won't take you for an idiot. Being single for 2 years is nothing and you do need time on your own..I've been single 4 years and it's been good

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

its the longest time ive actually been on my own ,not want to give up on men as having one to spend a few hours with would be nice ,i keep going onto dating sites cos of the guys on swinging sites all seem to like stuff i dont so i think i want to meet someone who isnt into all that .confusing for me cheeky xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We wish you all the very best SC. Hope you find what youre looking for xx

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Lets not forget that there are some lovely single men out there "

Now don't be daft. It's common knowledge all single men are the Devil's spawn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do think when you are In a negative place with life you will attract negativity and people feed off that and take you for an idiot...however when you get into a positive mind frame you attract different people more positive people that won't take you for an idiot. Being single for 2 years is nothing and you do need time on your own..I've been single 4 years and it's been good "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honey have you thought about how you can help your mental well-being which doesn't require male company ?

For example swimming, learning something new or joining a walking group where not only will you be interacting with others but you'll be in the great outdoors which will help balance your seratonin levels etc..

The various sites you are joining may not be the issue,indulge your own mental well-being first and perhaps everything else will fall into place - good luck xx

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

i do a lot of walking as i have 2 dogs and also have treated myself to a camper for us just spent a week in it with my pals so enjoyed doing what i wanted ,i know i not need a man in my life ,but dont hate men so would like to spend a few hours with one xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"i do a lot of walking as i have 2 dogs and also have treated myself to a camper for us just spent a week in it with my pals so enjoyed doing what i wanted ,i know i not need a man in my life ,but dont hate men so would like to spend a few hours with one xx"

I'll be honest, from your posts I have very definitely got the impression that you hate men and don't trust any of them.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"i do a lot of walking as i have 2 dogs and also have treated myself to a camper for us just spent a week in it with my pals so enjoyed doing what i wanted ,i know i not need a man in my life ,but dont hate men so would like to spend a few hours with one xx"

And you deserve to find that person but you need to be a bit more positive rather than negative you won't find the right person you will continue to meet the ones that will take the piss out of you..

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"Lets not forget that there are some lovely single men out there

Now don't be daft. It's common knowledge all single men are the Devil's spawn. "

And yet I've received no complaints....

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Lets not forget that there are some lovely single men out there

Now don't be daft. It's common knowledge all single men are the Devil's spawn.

And yet I've received no complaints.... "

I have a complaint. You're too bloody far away for me to molest!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others? "

Quakers like their oats

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"Lets not forget that there are some lovely single men out there

Now don't be daft. It's common knowledge all single men are the Devil's spawn.

And yet I've received no complaints....

I have a complaint. You're too bloody far away for me to molest! "

Any fule kno Satan's spawn can't be omnipresent....

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"i do a lot of walking as i have 2 dogs and also have treated myself to a camper for us just spent a week in it with my pals so enjoyed doing what i wanted ,i know i not need a man in my life ,but dont hate men so would like to spend a few hours with one xx

I'll be honest, from your posts I have very definitely got the impression that you hate men and don't trust any of them."
Me too, there have been several posts from the same OP happy with herself one minute and hating men the next.OP try in vain as you might, you cannot blame every guy for everytjing that is wrong in your life, start taling some responsibility for what happens in your own life, then maybe, you may find inner contentment.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"i do a lot of walking as i have 2 dogs and also have treated myself to a camper for us just spent a week in it with my pals so enjoyed doing what i wanted ,i know i not need a man in my life ,but dont hate men so would like to spend a few hours with one xx

I'll be honest, from your posts I have very definitely got the impression that you hate men and don't trust any of them.Me too, there have been several posts from the same OP happy with herself one minute and hating men the next.OP try in vain as you might, you cannot blame every guy for everytjing that is wrong in your life, start taling some responsibility for what happens in your own life, then maybe, you may find inner contentment."

I agree with this as well.

If you continue to see yourself as a victim how do you think other people will see you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i do a lot of walking as i have 2 dogs and also have treated myself to a camper for us just spent a week in it with my pals so enjoyed doing what i wanted ,i know i not need a man in my life ,but dont hate men so would like to spend a few hours with one xx

I'll be honest, from your posts I have very definitely got the impression that you hate men and don't trust any of them.Me too, there have been several posts from the same OP happy with herself one minute and hating men the next.OP try in vain as you might, you cannot blame every guy for everytjing that is wrong in your life, start taling some responsibility for what happens in your own life, then maybe, you may find inner contentment.

I agree with this as well.

If you continue to see yourself as a victim how do you think other people will see you? "

i agree too

people only treat you how you allow to be treated

we take responsibility for our own lifes

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

It is interesting the reaction guys who write threads like this receive compared to when women do.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"It is interesting the reaction guys who write threads like this receive compared to when women do. "
I agree, but this isn't a one off, I cannot think of a guy who has put this kind of thread up on a semi regular basis.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

My opinion op is that we have given our advice many times but it doesn't seem that it suits you to take it which is fine, you must always make your own decisions. However no matter how many times or in how many ways you ask the same question the answer is going to be the same. As has been said many times before.....your call.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"It is interesting the reaction guys who write threads like this receive compared to when women do. "

It is, the male/female thing exists everywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe you just need to be a bit more positive in general,you seem quite negative about most things.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Take some responsibility and stop blaming others....I think if you continue down this path you will end up a man hating, bitter woman

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

ive taken your advice its you lot that have told me more than once i shouldnt be on here and that i should be on a dating site so when i find cheaters on there too how am i supposed to find a nice guy ,like i keep saying ive only ever wanted to find a nice guy that doesnt want me to...

1.shave my pussy

2. fuck me up the arse

3.come in my mouth

4. fuck me doggy.

cos thats what they want.

im not a man hater but how the hell do i find what i do want ?????????????????????????

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"ive taken your advice its you lot that have told me more than once i shouldnt be on here and that i should be on a dating site so when i find cheaters on there too how am i supposed to find a nice guy ,like i keep saying ive only ever wanted to find a nice guy that doesnt want me to...

1.shave my pussy

2. fuck me up the arse

3.come in my mouth

4. fuck me doggy.

cos thats what they want.

im not a man hater but how the hell do i find what i do want ?????????????????????????"

You can't hate the men that want the above it's preferences the same as the preferences you have not to want the above...I think communication is key

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

i not hate men cos of what i jut said i dislike liars and cheaters .its just hard finding guys that not want to do all of the above ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you seen your doctor about your clear and obvious depression?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"ive taken your advice its you lot that have told me more than once i shouldnt be on here and that i should be on a dating site so when i find cheaters on there too how am i supposed to find a nice guy ,like i keep saying ive only ever wanted to find a nice guy that doesnt want me to...

1.shave my pussy

2. fuck me up the arse

3.come in my mouth

4. fuck me doggy.

cos thats what they want.

im not a man hater but how the hell do i find what i do want ?????????????????????????"

No idea. But keep asking the same question, in the same place, of the same people isnt likely to get you a different answer Im afraid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you join sites that have thousands of members,and you are surprised that there are some people who cheat on there

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By *hrissie1961Woman
over a year ago

dumfries and galloway

Why anyone would be surprised that people on this site want sex is quite frankly hilarious

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By *tirling DarkCouple
over a year ago

Stirling


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be."

what, like RC priests?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything we do involves a risk ,be it the people we meet or the things we do.

I no longer take those risks where relationships are involved , hence why im ok on here.

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract


"So you join sites that have thousands of members,and you are surprised that there are some people who cheat on there "
no was on about in general ,its cos of these sites its too easy to cheat,and many members would their be if you took away the cheaters x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ive taken your advice its you lot that have told me more than once i shouldnt be on here and that i should be on a dating site so when i find cheaters on there too how am i supposed to find a nice guy ,like i keep saying ive only ever wanted to find a nice guy that doesnt want me to...

1.shave my pussy

2. fuck me up the arse

3.come in my mouth

4. fuck me doggy.

cos thats what they want.

im not a man hater but how the hell do i find what i do want ?????????????????????????"

Sounds like the perfect meet to me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, haven't we gone over this subject a few times? You post about your issues with men on a regular basis!

You don't act on the advice that has been given to you on previous threads.

You need to start to like and love yourself before you can expect anyone else too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So you join sites that have thousands of members,and you are surprised that there are some people who cheat on there no was on about in general ,its cos of these sites its too easy to cheat,and many members would their be if you took away the cheaters x"

Lots I should imagine.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I'm hitting my head off a brick wall...dear god woman get a grip...either learn to accept that men and women cheat...and have fun on here stop reading into shit it will send you cockoo...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ive taken your advice its you lot that have told me more than once i shouldnt be on here and that i should be on a dating site so when i find cheaters on there too how am i supposed to find a nice guy ,like i keep saying ive only ever wanted to find a nice guy that doesnt want me to...

1.shave my pussy

2. fuck me up the arse

3.come in my mouth

4. fuck me doggy.

cos thats what they want.

im not a man hater but how the hell do i find what i do want ?????????????????????????"

Surely you only do what you want to do ? if a guy asks for something you dont enjoy you say no and move onto something you both like. Everyone will chance their arm and ask but that one word is the key thing. ....."No" and make sure your upfront on your likes and dislikes before meeting or at a social meet before........its aint rocket science

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract


"OP, haven't we gone over this subject a few times? You post about your issues with men on a regular basis!

You don't act on the advice that has been given to you on previous threads.

You need to start to like and love yourself before you can expect anyone else too. "
yes i do because im not meeting anyone and havent done so for a while now ,so i am finding myself and what i want , but as ive said i not hate men so it would be nice to meet someone to spend a few hours with i have never ever said i am looking for a relationship its you lot that told me to go look on a dating site if i want more than a quick shag x

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"ive taken your advice its you lot that have told me more than once i shouldnt be on here and that i should be on a dating site so when i find cheaters on there too how am i supposed to find a nice guy ,like i keep saying ive only ever wanted to find a nice guy that doesnt want me to...

1.shave my pussy

2. fuck me up the arse

3.come in my mouth

4. fuck me doggy.

cos thats what they want.

im not a man hater but how the hell do i find what i do want ?????????????????????????

Surely you only do what you want to do ? if a guy asks for something you dont enjoy you say no and move onto something you both like. Everyone will chance their arm and ask but that one word is the key thing. ....."No" and make sure your upfront on your likes and dislikes before meeting or at a social meet before........its aint rocket science "

You would think

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ive taken your advice its you lot that have told me more than once i shouldnt be on here and that i should be on a dating site so when i find cheaters on there too how am i supposed to find a nice guy ,like i keep saying ive only ever wanted to find a nice guy that doesnt want me to...

1.shave my pussy

2. fuck me up the arse

3.come in my mouth

4. fuck me doggy.

cos thats what they want.

im not a man hater but how the hell do i find what i do want ?????????????????????????

Surely you only do what you want to do ? if a guy asks for something you dont enjoy you say no and move onto something you both like. Everyone will chance their arm and ask but that one word is the key thing. ....."No" and make sure your upfront on your likes and dislikes before meeting or at a social meet before........its aint rocket science

You would think "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"ive taken your advice its you lot that have told me more than once i shouldnt be on here and that i should be on a dating site so when i find cheaters on there too how am i supposed to find a nice guy ,like i keep saying ive only ever wanted to find a nice guy that doesnt want me to...

1.shave my pussy

2. fuck me up the arse

3.come in my mouth

4. fuck me doggy.

cos thats what they want.

im not a man hater but how the hell do i find what i do want ?????????????????????????

Surely you only do what you want to do ? if a guy asks for something you dont enjoy you say no and move onto something you both like. Everyone will chance their arm and ask but that one word is the key thing. ....."No" and make sure your upfront on your likes and dislikes before meeting or at a social meet before........its aint rocket science

You would think

"

I meant you would think it's not rocket science

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"OP, haven't we gone over this subject a few times? You post about your issues with men on a regular basis!

You don't act on the advice that has been given to you on previous threads.

You need to start to like and love yourself before you can expect anyone else too. yes i do because im not meeting anyone and havent done so for a while now ,so i am finding myself and what i want , but as ive said i not hate men so it would be nice to meet someone to spend a few hours with i have never ever said i am looking for a relationship its you lot that told me to go look on a dating site if i want more than a quick shag x"

I have never told you to go on a dating site! If anything I would advice that you leave internet dating well alone, and advice maybe evening classes or local hobby clubs so that it gets you out and meeting real people.

You suffer with trust issues have you seeked any counselling?

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

i have actually been turned down by a couple of guys cos i wont do anal so you all wonder why i get confused with it all

bye everyone xxxxxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ive taken your advice its you lot that have told me more than once i shouldnt be on here and that i should be on a dating site so when i find cheaters on there too how am i supposed to find a nice guy ,like i keep saying ive only ever wanted to find a nice guy that doesnt want me to...

1.shave my pussy

2. fuck me up the arse

3.come in my mouth

4. fuck me doggy.

cos thats what they want.

im not a man hater but how the hell do i find what i do want ?????????????????????????"

I've found them. A few actually

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No all men and women do cheat , even on here people still have morals

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"ive taken your advice its you lot that have told me more than once i shouldnt be on here and that i should be on a dating site so when i find cheaters on there too how am i supposed to find a nice guy ,like i keep saying ive only ever wanted to find a nice guy that doesnt want me to...

1.shave my pussy

2. fuck me up the arse

3.come in my mouth

4. fuck me doggy.

cos thats what they want.

im not a man hater but how the hell do i find what i do want ?????????????????????????

I've found them. A few actually "

Me too...men are frigging awesome on here

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

OP, you are the common denominator in the meets and relationships. Look at how you make your choices.

Yes, people cheat. They did so before the internet and the internet and sites like this have made it easier for people to seek to cheat. From the many threads on here from men claiming it's impossible to get a meet you must see that cheating isn't that easy using the internet.

Being single isn't the end of the world. I have been for 18 years (bar a 15 month stint four years ago with someone who remains my friend).

There are plenty of men, here and on other sites, who do want the social side and the going out for dinner but finding them requires a bit of give and take.

That's where your choices come in. You don't have to give immediate full and uncompromising belief and trust to everyone who contacts you. However, if you question everything they say and do they won't want to trust you either. Friendships take time to build.

Personally, I only go out to dinner or anywhere else with the ones I do trust. The ones that will be casual I don't want to see socially - that doesn't mean it isn't friendly.

Learn what makes you tick and what it is about the men you choose that they have in common and then avoid that.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My Grandad always taught me 'no-one will love you, until you learn to love yourself.'

I think you need some time out from swinging and dating and just learn to be you. You don't need a man to define you and anyone that tells you different, friends or family, just ditch them.

"

^^^^^^^

This is GREAT advice xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ive taken your advice its you lot that have told me more than once i shouldnt be on here and that i should be on a dating site so when i find cheaters on there too how am i supposed to find a nice guy ,like i keep saying ive only ever wanted to find a nice guy that doesnt want me to...

1.shave my pussy

2. fuck me up the arse

3.come in my mouth

4. fuck me doggy.

cos thats what they want.

im not a man hater but how the hell do i find what i do want ?????????????????????????

I've found them. A few actually

Me too...men are frigging awesome on here "

Yes they are

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"i have actually been turned down by a couple of guys cos i wont do anal so you all wonder why i get confused with it all

bye everyone xxxxxx"

bye xxxxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"ive taken your advice its you lot that have told me more than once i shouldnt be on here and that i should be on a dating site so when i find cheaters on there too how am i supposed to find a nice guy ,like i keep saying ive only ever wanted to find a nice guy that doesnt want me to...

1.shave my pussy

2. fuck me up the arse

3.come in my mouth

4. fuck me doggy.

cos thats what they want.

im not a man hater but how the hell do i find what i do want ?????????????????????????"

Your reaction to that says so much about your state of mind.

If i am asked to do something I don't want I wouldn't instantly think that they are trying to manipulate me. I'd just say I'm not into that and either continue doing things with them I like or move on.

Just as you have a eight to find what you like, guys have the right to find what they like. They can't find that without asking if you like it or not.

I know you keep saying you are not looking for someone. Just someone to go for meals etc but I really think that you are better off just doing things for you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"i have actually been turned down by a couple of guys cos i wont do anal so you all wonder why i get confused with it all

bye everyone xxxxxx"

We have been turned down because I wont shave my genitals, because I wont do anal, because I wont do bareback, because A isn't bi, because I'm not bi, because we're too old, too young....the list goes on but guess what we concentrate on the ones who want the same as us.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if it was a cry for attention it certainly worked.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe you are meeting all the wrong types because i dont get men telling me to shave my pussy only the ones who i wouldnt want to meet anyway.

i agree some men are too demanding though, ok asking if i like something but i just say no if i dont like it and if someone makes you feel as if you are expected to do things just for their benefit that you dont like then tell them where to go, they arent worth bothering with and you are better off on your own.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Well if it was a cry for attention it certainly worked."

Attention can still leave you feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well if it was a cry for attention it certainly worked.

Attention can still leave you feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied.

"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well if it was a cry for attention it certainly worked.

Attention can still leave you feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied.

"

Some people like the rackets that the game they play gives them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rinking-in-laCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"i have actually been turned down by a couple of guys cos i wont do anal so you all wonder why i get confused with it all

bye everyone xxxxxx"

You seem to like the attention this brings?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any woman who wants attention, put on a few new pics, preferably titties or bottom, change your status to "gagging for cock" and sit back and admire the finest that Fab has to offer

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The op wants vanilla sex.. And joined a swingers site to find it...

I suggest joining a reading group, walking group, baking class, meet people.. Not just.men and develop friendships... They may or nay not turn into sexual ones...

Ask go for cbt.. To deal with your deep seated low self esteem...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The op wants vanilla sex.. And joined a swingers site to find it...

I suggest joining a reading group, walking group, baking class, meet people.. Not just.men and develop friendships... They may or nay not turn into sexual ones...

Ask go for cbt.. To deal with your deep seated low self esteem...

"

Well thats the first i have heard that people who only want vanilla sex arent meant to be on here.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its about expectations...

We all have choices...

If you go to butchers wanting a cheese sandwich you prob won't get one....

people can use Fab however they want to....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

i wasnt looking for attention but not one of you has had the gumption to realise for my safety i dont want to meet lots of men and the going for a meal is meeting in a public place first ,then you can decide if you want to take it further ,so get offf your soap boxes and think about it !!!!!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"i wasnt looking for attention but not one of you has had the gumption to realise for my safety i dont want to meet lots of men and the going for a meal is meeting in a public place first ,then you can decide if you want to take it further ,so get offf your soap boxes and think about it !!!!!!!"

We have thought about it long and hard, we have given you advice many, many times and you have chosen not to take it and come back time and again with a slightly different version of what you said in the first place in order to make those of us who have taken the time and forethought to try and help you look as if we're getting at you.

You have been hurt very badly that much is clear and I am very sorry for that but trying to paint the rest of us a villains will do nothing but lose you sympathy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"i wasnt looking for attention but not one of you has had the gumption to realise for my safety i dont want to meet lots of men and the going for a meal is meeting in a public place first ,then you can decide if you want to take it further ,so get offf your soap boxes and think about it !!!!!!!"

Gumption?

Making a realisation doesn't require gumption Sense or thought, maybe but not gumption

Nobody expects you to meet loads of men. In fact most of the replies to you I see suggest you meet no men until you feel better about yourself and more self-assured.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

And tbh OP, you nearly always appear to be seeking sympathy and attention.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

sometimes i have come back and asked the same questions as the same thing has cropped up with different guys ,but why does meeting someone for a meal mean i am looking for a relationship thats what i not get you saying it to me and other ladies that meeting someone more than once = relationship.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Ballroom dancing

Volunteer work

Local pub

Developing your social circle

Walking/hiking clubs

All of the above examples are the types of places that may help you find what you are looking for.

Swinging site? Not very likely.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im single and always regard my safety if and when meeting anyone.

Im not stupid in realising all thats said is meant...re all the "compliments" ..its just a way of getting into your drawers.

But.........

I see no point in to much negativity because any guy will run away very quickly and i also see no point in tarring most if not all guys with the same brush.

The saying is......

"No one likes a miserable bastard" and its true.

Im not calling YOU a miserable bastard by the way but the negativity isnt doing you any favours

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

im not meeting anyone i only stay on here to join in the forums so if something catches my attention i reply ,im not looking for attention or sympathy or vanilla sex or any other sex im picking myself up from my hurt , but wonder if guys liking stuff i not like is me or them

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

wow, I missed this with being away but I posted this morning on your 'chinese meal with colleagues' thread and thought you seemed in a good place.

in all honestly, you will not find what you seek on internet based sites.

but I agree 100% with Ryan, there are lots of activities you can indulge in that might facilitate a potential love interest.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

ok then tell me everyone

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR ?????????????

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"sometimes i have come back and asked the same questions as the same thing has cropped up with different guys ,but why does meeting someone for a meal mean i am looking for a relationship thats what i not get you saying it to me and other ladies that meeting someone more than once = relationship."

Asking the same question gets the same answers. Again and again. Just refer to the earlier threads.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"sometimes i have come back and asked the same questions as the same thing has cropped up with different guys ,but why does meeting someone for a meal mean i am looking for a relationship thats what i not get you saying it to me and other ladies that meeting someone more than once = relationship."

I haven't said that to you, all I have ever said is heal yourself first then get back to dating, swinging or whatever. You pick out the bad bits from every thread and concentrate on them, try looking at the supportive posts that are giving you sound advice......on second thoughts I have no idea why I'm wasting my typing time.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"ok then tell me everyone

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR ?????????????"

someone to care for you....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"im not meeting anyone i only stay on here to join in the forums so if something catches my attention i reply ,im not looking for attention or sympathy or vanilla sex or any other sex im picking myself up from my hurt , but wonder if guys liking stuff i not like is me or them "

As i said before.....

You communicate what you like and dislike BEFORE meeting so no one is under any illusions.

If they say ok....then all well and done. If they then choose not to meet, you move onto the next.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

....and the game continues...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"ok then tell me everyone

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR ?????????????"

we can't you are the one who needs to discover that for yourself. It really is no good getting angry with the people that could actually help you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"ok then tell me everyone

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR ?????????????"

Attention

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract


"wow, I missed this with being away but I posted this morning on your 'chinese meal with colleagues' thread and thought you seemed in a good place.

in all honestly, you will not find what you seek on internet based sites.

but I agree 100% with Ryan, there are lots of activities you can indulge in that might facilitate a potential love interest.

"
i am _iew but there was some comments made on my post at the weekend that i hadnt read i cant figure why everyone thinks im looking for a relationship x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"ok then tell me everyone

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR ?????????????

someone to care for you...."

As ever View, cut to the core of the matter succinctly! Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ok then tell me everyone

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR ?????????????"

Only you know the answer to this question.

We cant answer for you.

But as others have said, if your hurting then you really need to go heal yourself before getting into anything....swinging or vanilla.

I wish you well with it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"wow, I missed this with being away but I posted this morning on your 'chinese meal with colleagues' thread and thought you seemed in a good place.

in all honestly, you will not find what you seek on internet based sites.

but I agree 100% with Ryan, there are lots of activities you can indulge in that might facilitate a potential love interest.

i am _iew but there was some comments made on my post at the weekend that i hadnt read i cant figure why everyone thinks im looking for a relationship x"

You have said it yourself on a lot of occasions there is nothing wrong looking for a relationship but you have to start being honest with yourself before others are with you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"ok then tell me everyone

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR ?????????????"

Someone to make you the centre of attention, take you out, spoil you and make a fuss of you, by the sound of it.

It's possible to have a social meet for the sake of safety without expecting a man to take you out for dinner.

This is (partly) a site for NSA sex. No strings means not being expected to wine and dine women to get laid.

If you want to be taken out, you want a date, not a shag.

You also seem to expect men to telepathically know what you do and don't want.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. That's a huge turn off.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ok then tell me everyone

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR ?????????????

Attention "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"ok then tell me everyone

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR ?????????????

someone to care for you...."

Quite.

Which, I'd not be looking for on a swinging site, personally.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

sex does not equal love.

asking someone to do exactly as you tell them does not equal love.

doing everything someone asks does not equal love.

However love is equal

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract


"sometimes i have come back and asked the same questions as the same thing has cropped up with different guys ,but why does meeting someone for a meal mean i am looking for a relationship thats what i not get you saying it to me and other ladies that meeting someone more than once = relationship.

I haven't said that to you, all I have ever said is heal yourself first then get back to dating, swinging or whatever. You pick out the bad bits from every thread and concentrate on them, try looking at the supportive posts that are giving you sound advice......on second thoughts I have no idea why I'm wasting my typing time. "
i not mean you as a person i meant the site im taking time to heal myself but the advice i have been given if i want more than just a quickie i should be on a dating site not here

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"sometimes i have come back and asked the same questions as the same thing has cropped up with different guys ,but why does meeting someone for a meal mean i am looking for a relationship thats what i not get you saying it to me and other ladies that meeting someone more than once = relationship.

I haven't said that to you, all I have ever said is heal yourself first then get back to dating, swinging or whatever. You pick out the bad bits from every thread and concentrate on them, try looking at the supportive posts that are giving you sound advice......on second thoughts I have no idea why I'm wasting my typing time. i not mean you as a person i meant the site im taking time to heal myself but the advice i have been given if i want more than just a quickie i should be on a dating site not here "

If you think that advice is wrong then don't take it, it really is that simple.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"the advice i have been given if i want more than just a quickie i should be on a dating site not here"

That's how you are interpreting what's being said, without actually taking on board what is being said.

Wanting to be taken out and wanting someone to care for you are fine but they are not traits common in the types of meets that tend to result from this site.

They *are* traits found in dating.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

You are the creator of your own destiny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the op. After reading this and previous threads i personally dont thing this site is the right site for you. To me you come across as very needy and this isnt the place to be. Harsh but true. Maybe you may be better off on a dating site as lets be honest this is clearly a swinging site dating.

Maybey you should hide or delete profile and just think about what you really want, sex or relationship.

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

so right then ive got this game all wrong then !! you see i was a swinger with my ex did 3 sums with guys ,had 4sums had couples round to our house ,had drinks chatted had play .went to clubs played did this a lot then got into meeting couples for a meal ,drinks the play so i really got into the social side of it too , being a chatty person i like that side of it ,been with guys since been on my own had a meal then play ,thats only and idea just to get to know someone first ,so its me thats got all this wrong then ??????

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"To the op. After reading this and previous threads i personally dont thing this site is the right site for you. To me you come across as very needy and this isnt the place to be. Harsh but true. Maybe you may be better off on a dating site as lets be honest this is clearly a swinging site dating.

Maybey you should hide or delete profile and just think about what you really want, sex or relationship."

One of the problems the OP seems to have is that she can't see the other things she wants along with the male attention, and maybe sex, is what is making this the wrong place to look for it.

I can't see any man wanting to jump through all the hoops for a possible shag eventually and then the possibility of a clingy, needy woman who wants lots of attention, regular meets and, probably, exclusivity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"so right then ive got this game all wrong then !! you see i was a swinger with my ex did 3 sums with guys ,had 4sums had couples round to our house ,had drinks chatted had play .went to clubs played did this a lot then got into meeting couples for a meal ,drinks the play so i really got into the social side of it too , being a chatty person i like that side of it ,been with guys since been on my own had a meal then play ,thats only and idea just to get to know someone first ,so its me thats got all this wrong then ??????"

Depends on the guy ........

Ive done the meal thing, even the movies etc with one and just met for a cuppa with others.

Not everyone wants the same as you.

Not everyone wants the social side.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"so right then ive got this game all wrong then !! you see i was a swinger with my ex did 3 sums with guys ,had 4sums had couples round to our house ,had drinks chatted had play .went to clubs played did this a lot then got into meeting couples for a meal ,drinks the play so i really got into the social side of it too , being a chatty person i like that side of it ,been with guys since been on my own had a meal then play ,thats only and idea just to get to know someone first ,so its me thats got all this wrong then ??????"

Nope you haven't got it wrong...I go out for meals with men on here etc but I don't expect them to care for me etc....I like the social side and the sex but I don't have demands etc...what you want takes time to develop but men and women run a mile at the smell of desperation and neediness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To the op. After reading this and previous threads i personally dont thing this site is the right site for you. To me you come across as very needy and this isnt the place to be. Harsh but true. Maybe you may be better off on a dating site as lets be honest this is clearly a swinging site dating.

Maybey you should hide or delete profile and just think about what you really want, sex or relationship.

One of the problems the OP seems to have is that she can't see the other things she wants along with the male attention, and maybe sex, is what is making this the wrong place to look for it.

I can't see any man wanting to jump through all the hoops for a possible shag eventually and then the possibility of a clingy, needy woman who wants lots of attention, regular meets and, probably, exclusivity."

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"so its me thats got all this wrong then ??????"

Since you are consistently and continually complaining that you are not getting the results you want here then yes, I'd say you have something very wrong with your approach and/or your expectations.

YOU are the common denominator.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Anyone in here a qualified psychologist?

Or whatever that word should be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ok then tell me everyone

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR ?????????????"

A free dinner by the sounds of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anyone in here a qualified psychologist?

Or whatever that word should be"

Dont need to be for the "common sense" approach surely ?

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Can't help thinking, that if you walk down the same path you alway come to the same place, the only thing that changes....

The ruts get deeper.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"so right then ive got this game all wrong then !! you see i was a swinger with my ex did 3 sums with guys ,had 4sums had couples round to our house ,had drinks chatted had play .went to clubs played did this a lot then got into meeting couples for a meal ,drinks the play so i really got into the social side of it too , being a chatty person i like that side of it ,been with guys since been on my own had a meal then play ,thats only and idea just to get to know someone first ,so its me thats got all this wrong then ??????

Nope you haven't got it wrong...I go out for meals with men on here etc but I don't expect them to care for me etc....I like the social side and the sex but I don't have demands etc...what you want takes time to develop but men and women run a mile at the smell of desperation and neediness "

I too meet up with guys on here for the odd meal or night out or sleepover and just chill and cook a meal and watch movies. But like you say cheekychops its doesnt mean that we want or feel the need for them to care for us. These things i do develope over a period of time, getting to know a person etc. good lord if i put on my profile i wanted a guy to care for me and take me out for meals etc i would never get any meets. Its off putting and makes people sound desperate

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

im not desperate and dont make demands on anyone only when a guy wants to do thing i dont and wonders why i not like stuff ,i have had a guy say to me do i not like stuff cos i have had a bad experience ,no i just dont want to do things like anal ,and im not looking for a free dinner either but as i said ive done it and enjoyed it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"so its me thats got all this wrong then ??????

Since you are consistently and continually complaining that you are not getting the results you want here then yes, I'd say you have something very wrong with your approach and/or your expectations.

YOU are the common denominator."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, if we meet on a swingers site I'd never expect them to give up the life style. On a dateing that's another story, as your meant to be there looking for "the one"

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"im not desperate and dont make demands on anyone only when a guy wants to do thing i dont and wonders why i not like stuff ,i have had a guy say to me do i not like stuff cos i have had a bad experience ,no i just dont want to do things like anal ,and im not looking for a free dinner either but as i said ive done it and enjoyed it ."

Discuss expectations beforehand and just tell them what you won't do. They can either accept it or move on. If they try to pressure you or persuade you, you break off contact.

I'm not seeing the problem.

Why you don't want to do it is nothing to do with them.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"im not desperate and dont make demands on anyone"

Except for expecting them to take you out for dinner and meet you regularly.

You may not be desperate but you certainly come across as clingy and needy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op it simples, don't get attached to them and don't listen to others here why you are here and things, ignore them and have fun .

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By *exycleaner OP   Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

and thats why i keep posting the same thing i am not being negative but cos of my past do wonder if its me ,cos it has come up several times once recently from a guy offering to take me for a meal no expectations of sex but after chatting about what i like he thought id had a bad experience x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is not so much a step as a crawl

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"and thats why i keep posting the same thing i am not being negative but cos of my past do wonder if its me ,cos it has come up several times once recently from a guy offering to take me for a meal no expectations of sex but after chatting about what i like he thought id had a bad experience x"

How did he come to that conclusion? What was said?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

OP do you like yourself currently? It's a genuine question

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"and thats why i keep posting the same thing i am not being negative but cos of my past do wonder if its me ,cos it has come up several times once recently from a guy offering to take me for a meal no expectations of sex but after chatting about what i like he thought id had a bad experience x"

You've told us LOTS of times you've had bad experiences. That you've had bad experiences isn't even in question.

You are being negative. You are repeatedly ignoring the advice given.

And yes, if you are repeatedly getting the same problem, it's you.

You are entitled not to like the things you don't like. You are totally free to decide not to do those things. How you handle that is the important part.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"This is not so much a step as a crawl"

Backwards. Over broken glass. Through a thorny hedge. For the hundredth time.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

maybe you need to explore the bad experiences with a professional, their possible impact on you and coping strategies for the future...

good luck

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Wow, you sound like I felt about 4 years ago when my marriage broke down.

Depressed, negative, wanting someone to look after me, while being so bloody self-obsessed that I pushed everyone away.

In the kindest possible way - get over yourself. Get out, make a life. Get some new friends to go for dinner with - you don't need a fella.

I discovered so much about myself, and have worked bloody hard to change what I didn't like - I was overweight - so I started thinking about what I ate and drank, and got off my lazy arse, went to the gym and made friends, as well as lose 17 stone! I've made some really good mates. I got help from my GP and got counselling too - which has helped with the underlying issues I had, and helped me examine why I'd always gone for the arseholes in the past.

I'm in a relationship now, but it will never be serious - I cannot do falling in love - I think that part of my make up is missing... does it bother me, no, because I accept that. Its part of what makes me unique (well as unique as everyone else at least ) He accepts that I will never love him, live with him, or want a family etc, and that in all honesty, I will always look for others to share sexually. He accepts that, and while swinging isn't his thing, he is my back-up buddy and the person I text to let him know I'm safe meeting (no, he's not a cuck)

Basically, if you aren't happy, change it!

If you always do, what you've always done, you're gonna get what you always got.

Grab life and live it - its too short a time to sit on the sidelines, and too fecking long to be miserable!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"im not meeting anyone i only stay on here to join in the forums so if something catches my attention i reply ,im not looking for attention or sympathy or vanilla sex or any other sex im picking myself up from my hurt , but wonder if guys liking stuff i not like is me or them "

So if your only on here to join in the forums why do you keep bring up the subject of meeting men?

I don't think this is the right place for you tbh!

You post the same thing up time and time again, your given good advice but don't take any of it!

Yes you've been hurt, but your not the only one yet I don't see these posts from the other single ladies that often!

Only you know what you want OP!

If you don't like the advice that has been given on quite a few occasions I would suggest not asking for people's opinions again.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Oh and for what its worth, when I meet, I have a social... coffee or even just a hello somewhere for a chat, I don;t expect dinner or anything - I pay my own way. Its not about romance (which is what a dinner date shouts to me) its about a mutually agreeable outcome - which may or may not lead to a sexual encounter.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"Wow, you sound like I felt about 4 years ago when my marriage broke down.

Depressed, negative, wanting someone to look after me, while being so bloody self-obsessed that I pushed everyone away.

In the kindest possible way - get over yourself. Get out, make a life. Get some new friends to go for dinner with - you don't need a fella.

I discovered so much about myself, and have worked bloody hard to change what I didn't like - I was overweight - so I started thinking about what I ate and drank, and got off my lazy arse, went to the gym and made friends, as well as lose 17 stone! I've made some really good mates. I got help from my GP and got counselling too - which has helped with the underlying issues I had, and helped me examine why I'd always gone for the arseholes in the past.

I'm in a relationship now, but it will never be serious - I cannot do falling in love - I think that part of my make up is missing... does it bother me, no, because I accept that. Its part of what makes me unique (well as unique as everyone else at least ) He accepts that I will never love him, live with him, or want a family etc, and that in all honesty, I will always look for others to share sexually. He accepts that, and while swinging isn't his thing, he is my back-up buddy and the person I text to let him know I'm safe meeting (no, he's not a cuck)

Basically, if you aren't happy, change it!

If you always do, what you've always done, you're gonna get what you always got.

Grab life and live it - its too short a time to sit on the sidelines, and too fecking long to be miserable!"

very good post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This may appear a little random, but OP why don't you decide what you want and how best to achieve it, just a thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

SC, until YOU know what you want and are happy with yourself and confident about things NO-ONE else will know.

I don't do anything for any man unless it's what I want to do. Sometimes I think I'd like a relationship, sometimes I don't, but after almost eleven years widowed/single I really know that I will suit no-one but myself, whatever that is.

BTW I don't do anal, submit in the bedroom or stick a flower up my arse and whistle Dixie if a guy requests it. Horses for courses and all that. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clearly the op doest want to take on board anybodies advice

So clearly whats the point in helping someone who wont help themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be."

i think you need to have a reality check.

Who are the worst abusers?

So called celibate priests

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Clearly the op doest want to take on board anybodies advice

So clearly whats the point in helping someone who wont help themselves"

well said x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

i think you need to have a reality check.

Who are the worst abusers?

So called celibate priests"

What makes you say that priests are the worst abusers? They certainly arent all like that otherwise there wouldnt be so many people who follow religion, most of them are good men.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

i think you need to have a reality check.

Who are the worst abusers?

So called celibate priests

What makes you say that priests are the worst abusers? They certainly arent all like that otherwise there wouldnt be so many people who follow religion, most of them are good men."

I would refer you to your broad sweeping statement comment on the revenge porn thread. Of you can do it so can other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Puzzled as to why you think religeous men aren't like all the others?

its against their beliefs. meant to be.

i think you need to have a reality check.

Who are the worst abusers?

So called celibate priests

What makes you say that priests are the worst abusers? They certainly arent all like that otherwise there wouldnt be so many people who follow religion, most of them are good men.

I would refer you to your broad sweeping statement comment on the revenge porn thread. Of you can do it so can other people."

Comparing catholic priests to swingers oh sorry i meant to say that not everyone is like that on here but there are quite a few who would send porn pictures to a porn site, i think thats probably quite obvious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this really the place to look for a relationship? Friendship yes. I thought everyone was on here because, like me, they love sex so can't imagine anyone wanting to spend time with someone that didn't. A dating site seems more appropriate to me

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Is this really the place to look for a relationship? Friendship yes. I thought everyone was on here because, like me, they love sex so can't imagine anyone wanting to spend time with someone that didn't. A dating site seems more appropriate to me "

People do find love on here..to be honest I'm probably more likely to find my mr almost right on here than a dating site, however I never set any expectations or demands on those I meet on here...I also don't fall for someone at a drop of a hat...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All men have cocks whether they are priests or painters

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"All men have cocks whether they are priests or painters "

and for that I thank sweet jesus, it brings me lots of fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All men have cocks whether they are priests or painters "

Depends which pot they dip it in though whether it's enjoyable for either party. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this really the place to look for a relationship? Friendship yes. I thought everyone was on here because, like me, they love sex so can't imagine anyone wanting to spend time with someone that didn't. A dating site seems more appropriate to me "

If someone wants a relationship with a swinger and to be a swinging couple...... this is the place to find them. Not a dating site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i think you need to have a reality check.

Who are the worst abusers?

So called celibate priests"

You could do with one too.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Is this really the place to look for a relationship? Friendship yes. I thought everyone was on here because, like me, they love sex so can't imagine anyone wanting to spend time with someone that didn't. A dating site seems more appropriate to me

If someone wants a relationship with a swinger and to be a swinging couple...... this is the place to find them. Not a dating site."

I want to meet the best swinger in town

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this really the place to look for a relationship? Friendship yes. I thought everyone was on here because, like me, they love sex so can't imagine anyone wanting to spend time with someone that didn't. A dating site seems more appropriate to me

If someone wants a relationship with a swinger and to be a swinging couple...... this is the place to find them. Not a dating site.

I want to meet the best swinger in town "

He's mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going....going.....gone

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

None quite gone just yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just read ALL of the above . . . !!

And now need a drink!! Or 2

Good god!!

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