FabSwingers.com forum: Loneliness

By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I didn't hear Woman's Hour today but I understand they were discussing loneliness.

I saw this Twit quoting the programme and it struck a chord:

"Just as hunger tells us to eat, loneliness tell us to seek company. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

The loneliest I have ever felt was when I was in a (bad) relationship.

Have you ever felt lonely and tackled it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. I made new friends

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Not for a very long time. I treasure my time alone, and if I need company I have a few close friends for that. Or a bunch of Fab reprobate acquaintances.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Yea, I go down the pub

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's easy to say make new friends, but how?

My life is so so busy, but no time for myself.

Oh I'm shutting up now before I drown in self pity!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody understands "loneliness in a crowded room" unless they have been in that room.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's easy to say make new friends, but how?

My life is so so busy, but no time for myself.

Oh I'm shutting up now before I drown in self pity!! "

Do you make friends here? Are you friendly with the people you meet?

I have found the Fab socials very sociable and feel I have made friends that way.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Nobody understands "loneliness in a crowded room" unless they have been in that room. "

This I know to be true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I didn't hear Woman's Hour today but I understand they were discussing loneliness.

I saw this Twit quoting the programme and it struck a chord:

"Just as hunger tells us to eat, loneliness tell us to seek company. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

The loneliest I have ever felt was when I was in a (bad) relationship.

Have you ever felt lonely and tackled it?

At 19 and a stranger to Belgium, yes.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"It's easy to say make new friends, but how?

My life is so so busy, but no time for myself.

Oh I'm shutting up now before I drown in self pity!!

Do you make friends here? Are you friendly with the people you meet?

I have found the Fab socials very sociable and feel I have made friends that way.

It's true! I'm still trying to shake some of them off from the last one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

loneliness is a state of mind, you can be lonely in a crowd of a thousand people but not be lonely on a deserted beach with no-one else around

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I only ever feel lonely on New Year's Eve.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's easy to say make new friends, but how?

My life is so so busy, but no time for myself.

Oh I'm shutting up now before I drown in self pity!!

Do you make friends here? Are you friendly with the people you meet?

I have found the Fab socials very sociable and feel I have made friends that way.

It's true! I'm still trying to shake some of them off from the last one.

I promise not to cling to your ankles this time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a sorta mix I crave company...but really quite happy on my own.When I go long nature walks..I feel at peace..often taking pictures of things that make me think ,wow,what a gorgeous world we live in.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"loneliness is a state of mind, you can be lonely in a crowd of a thousand people but not be lonely on a deserted beach with no-one else around"

And you can always change your mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Often alone but never lonely.

Mind you, having schizophrenia helps.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Yes, I was very lonely when I was married.

There are some lonely moments now living alone with my wee son, but I figure better occasionally lonely but generally happy than the other way round

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"It's easy to say make new friends, but how?

My life is so so busy, but no time for myself.

Oh I'm shutting up now before I drown in self pity!!

Do you make friends here? Are you friendly with the people you meet?

I have found the Fab socials very sociable and feel I have made friends that way.

It's true! I'm still trying to shake some of them off from the last one.

I promise not to cling to your ankles this time.

You're one of the keepers.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I only ever feel lonely on New Year's Eve. "

It's a busy night for the Samaritans as many do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can be in a room with a thousand people and still feel lonely.

I have been there, not again hopefully.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The loneliest I have ever felt was when I was in a (bad) relationship.

Likewise.

I'm lucky now to have a fantastic group of friends.

Loneliness in this country is very prevalent in our elderly & sometimes just a 10 minute chat with someone can make such a difference to their day. We just need to make time to do that sometimes.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"I only ever feel lonely on New Year's Eve.

It's a busy night for the Samaritans as many do.

Even with family or friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's easy to say make new friends, but how?

My life is so so busy, but no time for myself.

Oh I'm shutting up now before I drown in self pity!!

Do you make friends here? Are you friendly with the people you meet?

I have found the Fab socials very sociable and feel I have made friends that way.

It's true! I'm still trying to shake some of them off from the last one.

I promise not to cling to your ankles this time.

You're one of the keepers. "
was that meant for me?

Nah, probably not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only ever feel lonely on New Year's Eve. "
I have done that alone, to keep out of the way, I had the best one last year, things change

Her

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

forgive me for ignoring the flippent comments but loliness is a huge issue ..some people are housebound and unless someone takes time out of their day to push them to church they dont speak to another soul

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same as you Lickety. Never felt so alone in my life than when I was with my ex husband. All the kids had left home and I felt like there was nothing left

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"forgive me for ignoring the flippent comments but loliness is a huge issue ..some people are housebound and unless someone takes time out of their day to push them to church they dont speak to another soul"

The phone line that Esther Rantzen has set up and has had some press is one idea. It's not a new idea but the scheme that has been running for years never had celebrity endorsement and wasn't talked about as the elderly weren't newsworthy then.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I didn't hear Woman's Hour today but I understand they were discussing loneliness.

I saw this Twit quoting the programme and it struck a chord:

"Just as hunger tells us to eat, loneliness tell us to seek company. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

The loneliest I have ever felt was when I was in a (bad) relationship.

Have you ever felt lonely and tackled it?

Yes: Christmas day 2001, sat round a laden table with husband and children. Felt so desperately lonely and miserable. Decided I'd rather be alone than lonely and vowed not to have another Christmas like it!

Moved out the easter, not been happier!

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By *uriosity filled the ....Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Lonely

Happy

Sad

Bored

Angry

All it takes is the flip of a coin to go from one to the other

Or a jeffin reply, or therein lack of.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"loneliness is a state of mind, you can be lonely in a crowd of a thousand people but not be lonely on a deserted beach with no-one else around"

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I didn't hear Woman's Hour today but I understand they were discussing loneliness.

I saw this Twit quoting the programme and it struck a chord:

"Just as hunger tells us to eat, loneliness tell us to seek company. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

The loneliest I have ever felt was when I was in a (bad) relationship.

Have you ever felt lonely and tackled it?

Moved out the easter, not been happier!

And now look at you!

I was watching Bones last night and not for the first time the Caroline Julian character (Patricia Belcher) made me think of you.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

its one of them words that people dont understand ...like saying ive had 'depession' and straight away every man and their dog will have had it ....loneliness ..guess what ??

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"its one of them words that people dont understand ...like saying ive had 'depession' and straight away every man and their dog will have had it ....loneliness ..guess what ?? "

I think you are right. Just as there are levels of reactive, passing (bluesy) types of depression moments which is quite normal we also have similar with loneliness.

When it becomes a profound mental state it is a whole different matter.

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By *utifiedMan
over a year ago

Kilgetty

Lonely at the moment, trying to be pro active about it, joined a swingers site lol

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

again licekty ...nail ..head ..bang on ..forgive me if i missed an intervening inane comment whilst posting !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"its one of them words that people dont understand ...like saying ive had 'depession' and straight away every man and their dog will have had it ....loneliness ..guess what ?? "

Not really. Some people do understand and know.

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By *xpresMan
over a year ago

Elland

Yes i do now n again but as a long distance truck driver i have to grin n bear it

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If you can connect with people then loneliness can disappear - but it can be very hard to do that with some people. It took me a while in a new country but not too long, as I was lucky to meet great people. A recent problem was my dads death this year and I suddenly felt very alone. Time, rest and enough support and love with others has helped though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have suffered with depression for 20 years and have long bouts of loneliness. I have an autistic son and a son with a debilitating disease, I live in a house full of people but have never felt more alone .

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Any loneliness I have felt has been self-inflicted.

I'm generally happy in my own company though. I'm not good with people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get acquainted with the virtues of solitude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been lonely for many years, and managed it. However the last couple of years the loneliness has intensified, I get very down sometimes. I can feel myself slowly edging to giving up. Deleting my Facebook, becoming an unlos, only leaving the house when I really have to is at times very appealing. Just resign myself to the loneliness and accept it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes all it takes is someone to say something to you and everything changes.

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By *rofaneprofMan
over a year ago

Katy

I am reminded of the research by the famous social psychologist, John Cacioppo, on loneliness. He distinguishes between social loneliness ( lack of social connection) and emotional loneliness (absence of emotional connection). He also says that loneliness is not necessarily an aversive state. Evolutionarily, it leads to attempts to restore or create new connections, and can be a very constructive process.

I think many of us here who may have experienced loneliness of one form or the other at some stage in our lives have a forum like this to thank for giving the opportunity to restore existing connections or create new connections.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Since my divorce 14ish yrs ago iv gone from relationship to relationship some lasted yrs others months. After my last split I decided I needed time alone an swore to myself nobody was getting in for at least 12 months its now coming up to 2 yrs I think 18 month at the least but now yes im starting to get lonely only now I really don't no what to do about it should I start looking or leave things be. This is now very new ground for me

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I didn't hear Woman's Hour today but I understand they were discussing loneliness.

I saw this Twit quoting the programme and it struck a chord:

"Just as hunger tells us to eat, loneliness tell us to seek company. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

The loneliest I have ever felt was when I was in a (bad) relationship.

Have you ever felt lonely and tackled it?

Moved out the easter, not been happier!

And now look at you!

I was watching Bones last night and not for the first time the Caroline Julian character (Patricia Belcher) made me think of you.

Oooh, I've never watched it, now I'm intrigued.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I didn't hear Woman's Hour today but I understand they were discussing loneliness.

I saw this Twit quoting the programme and it struck a chord:

"Just as hunger tells us to eat, loneliness tell us to seek company. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

The loneliest I have ever felt was when I was in a (bad) relationship.

Have you ever felt lonely and tackled it?

Moved out the easter, not been happier!

And now look at you!

I was watching Bones last night and not for the first time the Caroline Julian character (Patricia Belcher) made me think of you.

Oooh, I've never watched it, now I'm intrigued.

...I see what you mean Lickety.

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By *he tactile technicianMan
over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands

without wanting any self pity, lonelyness can be not ever being able to see somebody smile at you, my blindness leads to lonelyness, people pass you by and but for the very occasional contact with someone saying hello, or the saviour that is msn or skype, life is lonely, very very lonely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think most people get married and have kids so they wont be lonely.

also pets especialy dogs are great company, we put lots of food out for the wild birds and when we have not put any food out for them i realy miss seeing them.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I am reminded of the research by the famous social psychologist, John Cacioppo, on loneliness. He distinguishes between social loneliness ( lack of social connection) and emotional loneliness (absence of emotional connection). He also says that loneliness is not necessarily an aversive state. Evolutionarily, it leads to attempts to restore or create new connections, and can be a very constructive process.

Thank you, that's a really useful post.

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