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I m a bloke,

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By *odareyou OP   Man
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

So please learn from me, shoes should not be used as hammers, knives should not be used as screw drivers,

You will cut your fingers,!!

Anyone got any insulation tape for a cut finger, and a wet wipe for a bloody touch screen phone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not cut bread rolls with a serated knife by holding it in your hand and cutting towards said hand. Especially if bread roll is not fully defrosted. Do not continue cutting motion when knife meets finger!

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By *odareyou OP   Man
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)


"Do not cut bread rolls with a serated knife by holding it in your hand and cutting towards said hand. Especially if bread roll is not fully defrosted. Do not continue cutting motion when knife meets finger! "

Wise words fella, not sure what gets blood out of bread though,

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

[Removed by poster at 23/06/14 15:14:06]

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By *hyllyphyllyMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Done the knife screwdriver thing a few times. Never used a shoe as a hammer though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not use a pointy knife to take chunks of ice out of the freezer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Steel tip stiletto used to knock picture hooks in... Oops

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Do not cut bread rolls with a serated knife by holding it in your hand and cutting towards said hand. Especially if bread roll is not fully defrosted. Do not continue cutting motion when knife meets finger! "

Do not use sharp folding knife to strip coconut flesh out of shell and attempt to apply pressure in both directions, (thus folding knife firmly over finger....)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do not cut bread rolls with a serated knife by holding it in your hand and cutting towards said hand. Especially if bread roll is not fully defrosted. Do not continue cutting motion when knife meets finger!

Wise words fella, not sure what gets blood out of bread though, "

Ate it. No need for added ketchup

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do not cut bread rolls with a serated knife by holding it in your hand and cutting towards said hand. Especially if bread roll is not fully defrosted. Do not continue cutting motion when knife meets finger!

Do not use sharp folding knife to strip coconut flesh out of shell and attempt to apply pressure in both directions, (thus folding knife firmly over finger....)

"

Fook ouch...I felt that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Steel tip stiletto used to knock picture hooks in... Oops"

Brings a whole new meaning to heeling

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I'm not a bloke and I still do stupid things sometimes due to being too lazy or impatient to get the right tool for the job or just not thinking things through.

It's not common but it's usually a spectacular fail when it happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst on the beach do not mistake a rock for a bottle opener as it turns the bottle into a hand opener

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By *im le2Man
over a year ago

AYLESTONE

Don't beleave the doctor when he says its only a little PRICK .

Or this will not hurt .

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By *im le2Man
over a year ago

AYLESTONE

Never fry eggs when naked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or fry bacon when naked.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Never use your teeth as a bottle opener, best case sore teeth worst case broken tooth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never use your teeth as a bottle opener, best case sore teeth worst case broken tooth."

Or slipping and ripping open the majority of your mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't use a knife as a tin opener

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never put a rug on a polished floor, you may as well set a mantrap! That was an actual public information advert from the 70's that I remember as a child. I was terrified of rugs for years!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do not cut bread rolls with a serated knife by holding it in your hand and cutting towards said hand. Especially if bread roll is not fully defrosted. Do not continue cutting motion when knife meets finger!

Wise words fella, not sure what gets blood out of bread though, "

Just spread tomato paste over it and make a bruschetta

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not think your clever and us a knofe to flick the bottle top off a beer.... This results in the bottle shattering in your hand

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Do not cut bread rolls with a serated knife by holding it in your hand and cutting towards said hand. Especially if bread roll is not fully defrosted. Do not continue cutting motion when knife meets finger!

Do not use sharp folding knife to strip coconut flesh out of shell and attempt to apply pressure in both directions, (thus folding knife firmly over finger....)

Fook ouch...I felt that "

So did my finger! The scar faded after about 20 years.........

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By *aaLaaWoman
over a year ago

Pontesbury

Never try and catch an iron falling off the board, carpets rarely burn as quickly as skin does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never try and catch an iron falling off the board, carpets rarely burn as quickly as skin does. "
I hate Ironing...

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis


"So please learn from me, shoes should not be used as hammers, knives should not be used as screw drivers,

You will cut your fingers,!!

Anyone got any insulation tape for a cut finger, and a wet wipe for a bloody touch screen phone "

Shall I call 999 for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't take a hot tray out of the oven without an oven mitt

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By *odareyou OP   Man
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)


"So please learn from me, shoes should not be used as hammers, knives should not be used as screw drivers,

You will cut your fingers,!!

Anyone got any insulation tape for a cut finger, and a wet wipe for a bloody touch screen phone

Shall I call 999 for you?"

You re very sweet miss bambi, it was touch and go for a while,

but thats enough about my premature ejaculation problems,

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If your butt plug or dildo is stuck, do not assume that using a cork screw will help you extricate it. When your cork screw is impaled, you will be unable to open wine to calm your spirits. Slamming a door, whilst tied to your corkscrew is also something to consider in depth beforehand. The fine line between pain and pleasure will likely not be found this way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never trust a lady with a little dog when she's says " Your alright love it won't bite yer " Bitch

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"Do not use a pointy knife to take chunks of ice out of the freezer. "

This makes me laugh, as I have done the shoe thing, the knife/screwdriver thing and still do the knife/freezer thing! And I wonder why I get cuts lol But in my defence, they do work, and I'm well hard, I can take it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any type of cutlery can be used as a tool/paint-stirrer, even the really posh ones we got as an engagement present

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never try to replicate the opening of a bottle of beer on the edge of a very expensive kitchen worktop like you see them do in the films

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do not cut bread rolls with a serated knife by holding it in your hand and cutting towards said hand. Especially if bread roll is not fully defrosted. Do not continue cutting motion when knife meets finger! "

I did that with a brand new bread knife and had 27 stitches in the palm of my hand!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a professional. I still use the back of my makita drill as a hammer to push the rawl plugs in.

Professional what ? Who knows

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