FabSwingers.com forum: Coping with elderly parents-particularly with Alzheimer's

By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

I am coping with 'the long slow goodbye of Alzheimer's' with my Dad.

It’s very difficult watching the deterioration of your loved ones as well as the relationship you had with them changing.

He is a silent shell of his old self and although still physically quite strong.

I hate what this disease is doing to my lovely dad.

How would you cope with some one like this, Or how are you coping with some one like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im so sorry to hear that. I'm not much use which advice on this but I presume there are support groups to help you cope. At least it's a starting point.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I am coping with 'the long slow goodbye of Alzheimer's' with my Dad.

It’s very difficult watching the deterioration of your loved ones as well as the relationship you had with them changing.

He is a silent shell of his old self and although still physically quite strong.

I hate what this disease is doing to my lovely dad.

How would you cope with some one like this, Or how are you coping with some one like this."

I'm sorry

My parents are very elderly my mother isn't greta healthwise but my father is fit considering his age. The toughest thing I have to contend with is their frustration at not being able to do things. I empathise with you it must be heartbreaking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have some problems with my dad too

It's really hard, do your best and don't be afraid to get help and care when needed, it's a cruel illness but encourage as much activity as possible and if he feels safe with touch I find holding dads arm or hand when with him is comforting and keep reliving old memory's to him by chatting and old photos

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

sorry to hear your going through the same sad progression as i did with my dad ... try to bond through his past .. dont take all the bewilderment too seriously as its just whats left tryong to make sense of the world .. and remember the good times when the old boy was firing on all cylinders

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

We as a family are in the earlier stages of this and its difficult at times..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am coping with 'the long slow goodbye of Alzheimer's' with my Dad.

It’s very difficult watching the deterioration of your loved ones as well as the relationship you had with them changing.

He is a silent shell of his old self and although still physically quite strong."

Hi my oh is going through the same thing,he finds it so difficult visiting his father in the care home as they were so close when he was well,the only way he's coping is by grieving the loss of his dad as he was and starting a new journey with the 'new'dad and laughing with him when he's able and so on,I'm very lucky that my dad at 87 is fit and healthy in mind and body xx

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

we have the same thing too with the wifes mother, she is living with us now and physically in good health for an 82 year old, just that her mind has almost completely gone.

trying to put off putting her in a home for as long as possible, but afraid its getting close to that now

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

My Grandma died from this. It is, in my mind, the most god awful disease ever. It is my biggest fear, that I am going to be locked in a world that no one can reach.

Have plenty of photos around. Photos from the past and the present. My sister is a mental health nurse specialising in Dementia and Alzheimers. She advocates time lines of everyone close to the person suffering. Starting with pictures from baby, through to now. This helps create a link in the person suffering.

Other than that, my thoughts are truly with you. I hope one day we find a cure.

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By *od6Woman
over a year ago

redcar

Take each day as it comes and don't be afraid to ask for help!!! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i care for people with this and have contact with the families - a photo board is fantastic way of recalling people and good times - get friends/family to post notes on it too - ive spent hours of happy times with a patient who had one of these - but what you see now is the illness not the true person and its more difficult for you in the end to deal with the nastiness they say - there are support groups - talk to as many people as you can - xxxx

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

My gran had Alzheimer's. As she was always a bit unusual no one really noticed at first.

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By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

Thank you for all your lovey reply's, going try some of the things, some of you have Suggested.

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

"i care for people with this and have contact with the families - a photo board is fantastic way of recalling people and good times - get friends/family to post notes on it too - ive spent hours of happy times with a patient who had one of these - but what you see now is the illness not the true person and its more difficult for you in the end to deal with the nastiness they say - there are support groups - talk to as many people as you can - xxxx "

photo board is great, we use one of those photo frame thingummys, the one where you load a memory stick and plug it in

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By *ev and TrevCouple
over a year ago

cardiff

There is a lot of help out there, but you have to find it all yourself. but once you find the help they are great. my mum in law had early onset alzimers and dad struggled at 1st until he found/got the help he needed. its the worst thing to get in the world as there is no cure for it. i hate the fact my wife has lost her mum as she was the life and soul of partys. Her dad has been amazing and is still doing an amazing job. martyn

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By *aravancouple OP Man
over a year ago

A Secret Hideaway In the caravan of love

"There is a lot of help out there, but you have to find it all yourself. but once you find the help they are great. my mum in law had early onset alzimers and dad struggled at 1st until he found/got the help he needed. its the worst thing to get in the world as there is no cure for it. i hate the fact my wife has lost her mum as she was the life and soul of partys. Her dad has been amazing and is still doing an amazing job. martyn "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As above, photo boards are great, or even the digital frames that change the pictures too.

Always be ready to ask for help, see what support you can get and ensure you get a break / respite where possible when you're feeling down / stressed about it.

Good luck, hope you find strength to cope with it - it's tough to say the least, but there is help out there for you, look online, speak to local services, encourage family members to help etc.

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