FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Father's Day as a step dad

Jump to newest
 

By *lwaysup4it69 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield

So I am step dad to a 23 and a 12 yr old both autistic. I do everything I canto support them and spend lot of time doing stuff with them. Am I out of order just getting a card and no present? Bit gutted as think I don't mean anything to them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im stepdad to a 12 year old boy, I got a card from him this morning and the verse indise he wrote himself, meant more to me than anything he could of bought me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"im stepdad to a 12 year old boy, I got a card from him this morning and the verse indise he wrote himself, meant more to me than anything he could of bought me"
*inside*

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never get a present, a card will do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"So I am step dad to a 23 and a 12 yr old both autistic. I do everything I canto support them and spend lot of time doing stuff with them. Am I out of order just getting a card and no present? Bit gutted as think I don't mean anything to them"

So you only do it for the present?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can understand why you are disapointed, but getting a card is nice too.

i know i havnt always had a preasant from my son but was always pleased when i got a nice card because i like getting a nice card.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A card means they thought of you..Think yourself lucky mate

Gimp

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Plenty of fathers and step fathers outvthere that got nothing because their children have either passed away or have gone missing or just simply don't want to know them for whatever reason.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

My lads 17, at college and works at domino's 4 evenings a week. Told him not to get me anything, i got a card and he's bringing a pizza home. That'll do for me!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I only got my dad a card this year as I haven't managed to find a suitable prezzie...he always says not to bother buying anything, but I still felt bad (and a "Worlds Best Dad" mug off a 47 year old seemed a bit naff)...at least they got you a card, I'd take that as a plus that they thought enough of you to do so

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

You got a card which is lovely - can i just share this though;

'the fact that we're not calling step dads 'faux pas' seems like a missed opportunity'

Sorry, I'll get me coat! Z

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my son never got his dad a card in fact the only person he buys cards and preasants for is me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/06/14 20:33:27]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lwaysup4it69 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield


"So I am step dad to a 23 and a 12 yr old both autistic. I do everything I canto support them and spend lot of time doing stuff with them. Am I out of order just getting a card and no present? Bit gutted as think I don't mean anything to them

So you only do it for the present? "

Don't even go there I don't just do it for a present if u knew what I go through u may see it differently. Emcee just a bar of chocolate would have Benin nice. For the record my other half bought the card

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton


"So I am step dad to a 23 and a 12 yr old both autistic. I do everything I canto support them and spend lot of time doing stuff with them. Am I out of order just getting a card and no present? Bit gutted as think I don't mean anything to them"

Giving true love unconditionally should be its own reward - Z

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I am step dad to a 23 and a 12 yr old both autistic. I do everything I canto support them and spend lot of time doing stuff with them. Am I out of order just getting a card and no present? Bit gutted as think I don't mean anything to them

So you only do it for the present?

Don't even go there I don't just do it for a present if u knew what I go through u may see it differently. Emcee just a bar of chocolate would have Benin nice. For the record my other half bought the card "

A question, You say the Children are Autistic, Would they think of buying presents ?

Gimp

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"So I am step dad to a 23 and a 12 yr old both autistic. I do everything I canto support them and spend lot of time doing stuff with them. Am I out of order just getting a card and no present? Bit gutted as think I don't mean anything to them

So you only do it for the present?

Don't even go there I don't just do it for a present if u knew what I go through u may see it differently. Emcee just a bar of chocolate would have Benin nice. For the record my other half bought the card "

Sorry but you are coming across as fairly materialistic. Do they live you? Do they respect you?

For the record, you started a threat about being upset at not getting more than a card.....you 'went there'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How we feel is just that. I know very little about autism, but am told that those with it sometimes have a different way of interacting with others, have difficulty in appreciating what is often considered 'normal' in relation to things like personal space, misreading others interest (or lack thereof) in things they are passionate about etc. So for a person who's natural disposition can easily be misunderstood as selfish or inward looking, to be special enough to get a card on the right day potentially is far, far more significant than it may appear. Those who do not register significantly on the spectrum may not be blessed with a great interest in a specific subject, but do have a longer suit on empathy. That it hurts simply means you care. I suggest your card means that they do to!

G

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lwaysup4it69 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield


"So I am step dad to a 23 and a 12 yr old both autistic. I do everything I canto support them and spend lot of time doing stuff with them. Am I out of order just getting a card and no present? Bit gutted as think I don't mean anything to them

So you only do it for the present?

Don't even go there I don't just do it for a present if u knew what I go through u may see it differently. Emcee just a bar of chocolate would have Benin nice. For the record my other half bought the card

Sorry but you are coming across as fairly materialistic. Do they live you? Do they respect you?

For the record, you started a threat about being upset at not getting more than a card.....you 'went there'"

Yes I started this for opinions so I guess I have to take what is said. It's not about being materialistic it's being thought about and appreciated. Yes they live with me and their mum

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They do too

I can be scathing about the grammar and spelling of others (maybe I'm on the spectrum) so will correct the first typo I spotted and use the well worn excuse of large fingers on a small tablet touch screen for any others

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does a present show that your thought off and appreciated?

Sorry op but your coming across as very ungrateful for the card that you received!

Surely it doesn't take a present and a card to be given once a year to know that your loved by your family?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

[Removed by poster at 15/06/14 20:48:19]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How we feel is just that. I know very little about autism, but am told that those with it sometimes have a different way of interacting with others, have difficulty in appreciating what is often considered 'normal' in relation to things like personal space, misreading others interest (or lack thereof) in things they are passionate about etc. So for a person who's natural disposition can easily be misunderstood as selfish or inward looking, to be special enough to get a card on the right day potentially is far, far more significant than it may appear. Those who do not register significantly on the spectrum may not be blessed with a great interest in a specific subject, but do have a longer suit on empathy. That it hurts simply means you care. I suggest your card means that they do to!

G"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lwaysup4it69 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield

Maybe it just me. I would l love to buy a present for my dad who died when I was 12. Maybe that's why I feel the way I do. Or maybe I'm just a cunt

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Plenty of fathers and step fathers outvthere that got nothing because their children have either passed away or have gone missing or just simply don't want to know them for whatever reason. "

Exactly. First Father's Day for my grandad since my uncle commuted suicide 6 months ago. Took him up on the golf course to keep him busy but a card and his son would have ment more

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Maybe it just me. I would l love to buy a present for my dad who died when I was 12. Maybe that's why I feel the way I do. Or maybe I'm just a cunt"

Don't think anyone would say you are that. The trouble is you can't expect people to do things the way you would.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can understand the OP being upset, it's not the material thing, it's the effort put in. Fathers are often under appreciated. I always tell my daughter I'd rather she made or baked something for me rather then go out and buy something.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A kiss and the words I love you dad is enough for me, I don't need a card to know how much I mean to my Son and daughter

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lwaysup4it69 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield


"I can understand the OP being upset, it's not the material thing, it's the effort put in. Fathers are often under appreciated. I always tell my daughter I'd rather she made or baked something for me rather then go out and buy something. "

Very true something home made would mean so much

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I am step dad to a 23 and a 12 yr old both autistic. I do everything I canto support them and spend lot of time doing stuff with them. Am I out of order just getting a card and no present? Bit gutted as think I don't mean anything to them

So you only do it for the present?

Don't even go there I don't just do it for a present if u knew what I go through u may see it differently. Emcee just a bar of chocolate would have Benin nice. For the record my other half bought the card

A question, You say the Children are Autistic, Would they think of buying presents ?

Gimp"

I was going to say would they be capable of buying a present? I know my autistic nephew who is 14yrs old needs 24hr supervision and just hasn't got the capability to go and buy a card never mind a present.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lwaysup4it69 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield


"So I am step dad to a 23 and a 12 yr old both autistic. I do everything I canto support them and spend lot of time doing stuff with them. Am I out of order just getting a card and no present? Bit gutted as think I don't mean anything to them

So you only do it for the present?

Don't even go there I don't just do it for a present if u knew what I go through u may see it differently. Emcee just a bar of chocolate would have Benin nice. For the record my other half bought the card

A question, You say the Children are Autistic, Would they think of buying presents ?

Gimp

I was going to say would they be capable of buying a present? I know my autistic nephew who is 14yrs old needs 24hr supervision and just hasn't got the capability to go and buy a card never mind a present."

23 yr old mild autistic so he could be then so could my other half but hay worse things happen in life

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A stab in the dark here but i see signs that your more upset that the other half didnt buy you a present on behalf of the Kids ?

Gimp

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lwaysup4it69 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield


"A stab in the dark here but i see signs that your more upset that the other half didnt buy you a present on behalf of the Kids ?

Gimp"

Too some degree yes u r right. I do make a real effort on Mother's Day her birthday and too be honest several other days throughout the year

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you stated the kids are autistic? Maybe they didnt know that not getting a present would upset you, have you talked about it with them?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"So I am step dad to a 23 and a 12 yr old both autistic. I do everything I canto support them and spend lot of time doing stuff with them. Am I out of order just getting a card and no present? Bit gutted as think I don't mean anything to them"

I doubt that it means that you don't mean anything to them. How are they with you the rest of the time, do you feel a bit under appreciated in general? It can be a thank less task parenting kids without special needs so I guess it must be even more so for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lwaysup4it69 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield


"So I am step dad to a 23 and a 12 yr old both autistic. I do everything I canto support them and spend lot of time doing stuff with them. Am I out of order just getting a card and no present? Bit gutted as think I don't mean anything to them

I doubt that it means that you don't mean anything to them. How are they with you the rest of the time, do you feel a bit under appreciated in general? It can be a thank less task parenting kids without special needs so I guess it must be even more so for you.

"

It can be hard work but love then like I love my own kids. Feel taken for granted sometimes but I think parents do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My father used to say to me don't buy me a father's day card. it's only a racket perpetuated by the card industry. buy me a pint instead! result!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"So I am step dad to a 23 and a 12 yr old both autistic. I do everything I canto support them and spend lot of time doing stuff with them. Am I out of order just getting a card and no present? Bit gutted as think I don't mean anything to them

I doubt that it means that you don't mean anything to them. How are they with you the rest of the time, do you feel a bit under appreciated in general? It can be a thank less task parenting kids without special needs so I guess it must be even more so for you.

It can be hard work but love then like I love my own kids. Feel taken for granted sometimes but I think parents do "

yes they do I'm afraid its the way of the world .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm stepdad to 23 and 26 year old women, they are beautiful loving and generous. They are a pleasure to be around.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My eldest is 12 and lives in America with his Mum, for the last two years I've not had a fathers day or birthday card let alone a gift, to receive a card would be the best gift ever.

I sympathise with you but just be thankful for what you do receive!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My girls are 18 and almost 21. I got a happy father's day text off the eldest today. I don't expect anything else but I do sometimes envy blokes who get breakfast in bed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First of all let me just say wow having two step children with autism must be very hard and I for one salute you, I think depending on where the children are on the spectrum may have overlooked the present, so it should have been the other half that should have thought about the present

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a text message first thing this morning from my 22yr old step son that meant the world to me. Then I got a card and new flip flops from my 2 boys lol. Good day

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"My girls are 18 and almost 21. I got a happy father's day text off the eldest today. I don't expect anything else but I do sometimes envy blokes who get breakfast in bed. "

My dad is on holiday in the south of France....all he got was a Facebook post lol but I know he wants nothing more than my love and my respect and for my life to be the best it can be.

He has all he wants in terms of material things. Getting presents because social pressure dictates he should means nothing to him. Quite often on his birthday or fathers day we will have a family meal but he will cook it. It's not because we don't love him, for him the gift is having hos family there, together. Remembering good times and creating new ones.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bought a 'Happy Farters Day' card for my mums partner.

My real dad only played a part in my life until i was 2, my step dad was there from the age of 3 til 16..

So my days of having a male role model were over and id done most of my growing up through the periods before my mums current partner got involved. I never lived with them, but he is 'grandad' to my lil girl and we do get on.

Ive only ever called him by his first name, but something clicked this year. He knows i value all he has done for my mum and assisting with my brother who he took on at aged 13.. but felt i should get him a card. Was a funny one and didnt say dad/father/step dad.. but he knew the relevance of it. I wrote what i felt and when he read it he cried.

I didnt buy him a gift but to me the card was a big enough statement. I know perhaps i should have done this a while ago but felt like yesterday was the perfect day to show that ive accepted him into the family. He never done anything wrong except love my mum, encourage my brother to achieve his uni goals but deep down i disliked him for being the reason my mum n dad split up..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *lwaysup4it69 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield


"First of all let me just say wow having two step children with autism must be very hard and I for one salute you, I think depending on where the children are on the spectrum may have overlooked the present, so it should have been the other half that should have thought about the present "

Thank u for a supportive reply it is appreciated

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top