FabSwingers.com forum: The difference between dogs and cats!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Excerpts from a dogs diary.....

8am. Dog food. My favourite thing.

9.30am. A car ride. My favourite thing.

9.40am. Walk in the park. My favourite thing.

10.30am. Got rubbed and petted. My favourite thing.

12.00pm. Lunch. My favourite thing.

1.00. Played in the yard. My favourite thing.

3.00pm. Wagged my tail. My favourite thing.

5.oopm. Milk bone. My favourite thing.

6.00pm. Bath. Oh bummer.

7.00pm. Got to play ball. My favourite thing.

8.00pm. Wow! Watched tv with the people. My favourite thing.

11.00pm. Sleeping on the bed. My favourite thing.

Excerpts from a cats diary.

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nugget. Alought I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I neverless must eat somethig to keep my strenght up.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them , I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped thiis would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. I could hear the voices and smell the food. I overheard my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies' I must learn what this means and use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow-at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced the other prisoners are flunkies or snitches. The dog recieves special privileges. He is regularly released-and seems more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an infomant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.....For Now!