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A shorter one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Because my last rant was way too long for those with the attention spans of gnats, here's another one.

Barbeques. What a bunch of difficult to light, food undercooking, smelly, ash covering, food overcooking, finger singeing, pseudo manly domain cock snot. It's why we have ovens.

And no, I can't just turn it off if it upsets me so much. And Its my personal choice to warm up salmonella for human consumption.

Rant as they say, over.

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By *ove bi guysWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Warm salmonella is the best type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They do smell nice though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should do a really reaaaallly long rant about people with short attention spans.

Disposable BBQ's are the way to go. You know you want one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Barbeques. What a bunch of difficult to light, food undercooking, smelly, ash covering, food overcooking, finger singeing, pseudo manly domain cock snot. It's why we have ovens.

"

I never have any of these problems except for maybe the pseudo manly bit - I think I'm the man when I'm flaming some meet with a beer in on hand and a cold beer in the other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They always smell better than they taste. People rarely know how to cook properly on a bbq and burn everything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jodie do you do anything other than make snidey comments and bitch at others?

My attention span is longer than that of a gnat, you posted a rant and i just agree'd with a poster who said that the rant was long

Your infamous for your 'rants' i get that i really do, but is there anything else or is that all you do?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

My sister does the perfect barbecue food. She's a great bloke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need the Big Guy to get amongst it.

You'll be eating gourmet burgers in no time!!

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield


"Jodie do you do anything other than make snidey comments and bitch at others?

My attention span is longer than that of a gnat, you posted a rant and i just agree'd with a poster who said that the rant was long

Your infamous for your 'rants' i get that i really do, but is there anything else or is that all you do? "

Ooh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Handbags at dawn!

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"Handbags at dawn! "
Shopping trolleys are better.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Jodie do you do anything other than make snidey comments and bitch at others?

My attention span is longer than that of a gnat, you posted a rant and i just agree'd with a poster who said that the rant was long

Your infamous for your 'rants' i get that i really do, but is there anything else or is that all you do? "

Awesome haha

Also bbq is awesome. Have spent a very enjoyable afternoon at a festival of bbq and can assure you that every morsel was cooked to perfection, piping hot,and not a singed bit in sight.

Perhaps the OP should concentrate more on the cooking then the results wouldn't be so disastrous and she would be less angry?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My sister does the perfect barbecue food. She's a great bloke.

"

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"Handbags at dawn! "

I bought a new handbag today. Just a practical Kipling one though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Handbags at dawn! Shopping trolleys are better. "

a well aimed bash on the Achilles tendon

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Jodie do you do anything other than make snidey comments and bitch at others?

My attention span is longer than that of a gnat, you posted a rant and i just agree'd with a poster who said that the rant was long

Your infamous for your 'rants' i get that i really do, but is there anything else or is that all you do?

Awesome haha

Also bbq is awesome. Have spent a very enjoyable afternoon at a festival of bbq and can assure you that every morsel was cooked to perfection, piping hot,and not a singed bit in sight.

Perhaps the OP should concentrate more on the cooking then the results wouldn't be so disastrous and she would be less angry? "

Is that you telling me what to do? Because that's against my human rights that is. If I want burnt/undercooked food then who the hell are you to tell me otherwise. Do I come along and tell you how to cook your burgers? No, so I'd thank you to keep your cooking tips to yourself and make me some instead.

And yes, I often make non snidey comments and completely fail to have a go at anyone, but of course if you do right no one remembers etc.... If you check the green arrow I think you'll see. It's probably a 50/50 thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Handbags at dawn!

I bought a new handbag today. Just a practical Kipling one though."

Mr Kipling makes exceedingly good cakes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you MAD?! BBQ's are great!

Wish we had the weather over here for BBQ's every weekend! Perfect social event to invite friends, family and dine together.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I once saw a comedian who had spent 6 months in Australia and he was commenting on the differences between here and there. One he highlighted was that in Australia, BBQ's actually happen when you plan them. Here it is a group of people buying meat from Iceland, then spending all afternoon looking at the sky and taking the meat for a walk to the park and then back home again when it starts to rain....

Personally, I'm not a fan. I've got a decent kitchen with the Tefal George Formby grill of God. I'd much rather do my snap on that, than in a 50p tray on my back garden.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I am not a fan of the food but even lesser of a fan of the lunatics with the small portable ones.

There are new picnic tables at my local beach, 3 out of 4 burnt by people placing them on the tables.. thick as shit

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am not a fan of the food but even lesser of a fan of the lunatics with the small portable ones.

There are new picnic tables at my local beach, 3 out of 4 burnt by people placing them on the tables.. thick as shit"

The sort of people who'd throw petrol on them to "pep them up a bit".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love a BBQ great way to socialise with friends and enjoy some decent food and drinks.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Jodie do you do anything other than make snidey comments and bitch at others?

My attention span is longer than that of a gnat, you posted a rant and i just agree'd with a poster who said that the rant was long

Your infamous for your 'rants' i get that i really do, but is there anything else or is that all you do?

Awesome haha

Also bbq is awesome. Have spent a very enjoyable afternoon at a festival of bbq and can assure you that every morsel was cooked to perfection, piping hot,and not a singed bit in sight.

Perhaps the OP should concentrate more on the cooking then the results wouldn't be so disastrous and she would be less angry?

Is that you telling me what to do? Because that's against my human rights that is. If I want burnt/undercooked food then who the hell are you to tell me otherwise. Do I come along and tell you how to cook your burgers? No, so I'd thank you to keep your cooking tips to yourself and make me some instead.

And yes, I often make non snidey comments and completely fail to have a go at anyone, but of course if you do right no one remembers etc.... If you check the green arrow I think you'll see. It's probably a 50/50 thing.

"

Do you have chips at your bbq Jodie?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm game for a punchline. No.

But I did do strips of butternut squash once. Interestingly the only thing I've ever cooked successfully on one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never invested in a BBQ except for the disposable ones.. i love the smell of food being cooked but with no way of controlling temperatures i just have a hunch id be a disaster at this type of cooking.

I prefer to cook stuff in an oven then add burnt bits with a BBQ just for effect. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Jodie do you do anything other than make snidey comments and bitch at others?

My attention span is longer than that of a gnat, you posted a rant and i just agree'd with a poster who said that the rant was long

Your infamous for your 'rants' i get that i really do, but is there anything else or is that all you do?

Awesome haha

Also bbq is awesome. Have spent a very enjoyable afternoon at a festival of bbq and can assure you that every morsel was cooked to perfection, piping hot,and not a singed bit in sight.

Perhaps the OP should concentrate more on the cooking then the results wouldn't be so disastrous and she would be less angry?

Is that you telling me what to do? Because that's against my human rights that is. If I want burnt/undercooked food then who the hell are you to tell me otherwise. Do I come along and tell you how to cook your burgers? No, so I'd thank you to keep your cooking tips to yourself and make me some instead.

And yes, I often make non snidey comments and completely fail to have a go at anyone, but of course if you do right no one remembers etc.... If you check the green arrow I think you'll see. It's probably a 50/50 thing.

Do you have chips at your bbq Jodie? "

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

The success to well cooked BBQ food is to ensure that the charcoal has turned white before putting any food on it...that will ensure that the food is cooked evenly without it burning and being raw in the middle...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP you aren't doing it right if thats how your food is x

Get self light BBQ coal

Or just get a gas one

Chicken thigh fillets cubed marinade in Paul newham BBQ sauce x chipolates

Delicious x

Finish off with banana in sugar whiskey n mixed spice

Add cream x

Don't forget the sangria or magners

Fuck I enjoyed that BBQ last night x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The success to well cooked BBQ food is to ensure that the charcoal has turned white before putting any food on it...that will ensure that the food is cooked evenly without it burning and being raw in the middle... "

i thought white meant it was useless and no good lol.. learn something new everyday

all the BBQs ive had or eaten from have been cooked by men, enjoyed just doing salad prep and making drinks for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a BBQ last week. Took an hour to cook some burgers. They weren't raw in the middle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am not a fan of the food but even lesser of a fan of the lunatics with the small portable ones.

There are new picnic tables at my local beach, 3 out of 4 burnt by people placing them on the tables.. thick as shit"

I put the BBQ on the car bonnet.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't see the point of garden bbq's.

Waste of energy.

There's a cooker in the kitchen usually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But bbq r finger licking mmmm

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

Aluminum foil it's your friend xx and asbestos fingers . Sausages should only be coloured on the bbq cooked in foil elsewhere. Seared beef flesh is best on bbq

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Aluminum foil it's your friend xx and asbestos fingers . Sausages should only be coloured on the bbq cooked in foil elsewhere. Seared beef flesh is best on bbq "

Bit meat minded for a taoist .. ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That'll be the Tao of Meat.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Aluminum foil it's your friend xx and asbestos fingers . Sausages should only be coloured on the bbq cooked in foil elsewhere. Seared beef flesh is best on bbq "

If it's not cooked over coals it's not a bbq!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy BBQ's

But I have eaten some shit food at them.

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By *xpresMan
over a year ago

Elland

Start in the oven then finish on the BBQ

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"Aluminum foil it's your friend xx and asbestos fingers . Sausages should only be coloured on the bbq cooked in foil elsewhere. Seared beef flesh is best on bbq

Bit meat minded for a taoist .. ?"

A taoist should be concerned about the food they eat x that's the philosophy. Knowledge about food improves with time x I have a balanced diet which involves a small amount of red meat ,personally I don't eat sausage unless I make them xx I did not eat red meat for about 7 years but after reading and listening to my body I do supliment on occasion and when I do I can tell you bbq is good .I also drink milk which our eastern friends warn against . Better I say I understand taoist philosophy than follow a set doctrine x which of course if one understands zen one discovers ones own way and Not follow a path well trodden that's why zen is cryptic xx asparagus and baby corn drizzled with olive oil seared mmmm x

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"Aluminum foil it's your friend xx and asbestos fingers . Sausages should only be coloured on the bbq cooked in foil elsewhere. Seared beef flesh is best on bbq

If it's not cooked over coals it's not a bbq!!!!"

The foil is used between the coals to cook then finished directly

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Aluminum foil it's your friend xx and asbestos fingers . Sausages should only be coloured on the bbq cooked in foil elsewhere. Seared beef flesh is best on bbq

Bit meat minded for a taoist .. ?

A taoist should be concerned about the food they eat x that's the philosophy. Knowledge about food improves with time x I have a balanced diet which involves a small amount of red meat ,personally I don't eat sausage unless I make them xx I did not eat red meat for about 7 years but after reading and listening to my body I do supliment on occasion and when I do I can tell you bbq is good .I also drink milk which our eastern friends warn against . Better I say I understand taoist philosophy than follow a set doctrine x which of course if one understands zen one discovers ones own way and Not follow a path well trodden that's why zen is cryptic xx asparagus and baby corn drizzled with olive oil seared mmmm x "

How many olives died in the making of that oil ?

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