FabSwingers.com forum: Non swingers on Fab (part 2)

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think it was a really interesting thread that still had plenty of discussion in it... so here's part 2....

This was the original post:

"Hey just wondering for those who are single and on here, if you had a partner or were married would you consider being a swinger. I for one would never swing with someone I was in a relationship with. I get it works for others but I just can't see myself enjoying seeing a partner with other people.

So my question is to all the single people. Would you be a swinger when in a relationship?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I thought this was an interesting post-

"Funny how singles are just shagging around but meet a partner and do it together suddenly they are swingers and it's not just shagging around. You can thinly veil something but it's your thoughts coming out isn't it. If I met a man and didn't love him but still wanted to meet couples for sex would that be just us shagging around? Do the couples have to be in love to be swingers?"

As I said on the previous post, I think some people are swingers whether they are in a relationship or not - it's just how/ who they are.

I don't think it is wrong to be a swinger, neither do I think it is wrong to not be a swinger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I wouldn't....no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These threads always intrest me as to what people say. Everyones got different _iews and again there's labels being attached

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't want to.But if others do its up to them.All about choice and preferences.

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By *inkyKimblesWoman
over a year ago

Northants

"I thought this was an interesting post-

As I said on the previous post, I think some people are swingers whether they are in a relationship or not - it's just how/ who they are.

I don't think it is wrong to be a swinger, neither do I think it is wrong to not be a swinger."

Very good point about the stigma of meeting without being part of couple,,

I personally could.never share a person I was in love with its just not for me but I have absolutely nothing against people that do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I thought this was an interesting post-

As I said on the previous post, I think some people are swingers whether they are in a relationship or not - it's just how/ who they are.

I don't think it is wrong to be a swinger, neither do I think it is wrong to not be a swinger."

I'd like to be in a swinging/cuckold relationship. That is the ideal for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive come across people who wont meet a MF couples if they are not a couple but playmates/fuck buddies

Does it make a difference for one partnership to be friends as opposed to one involving love?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"ive come across people who wont meet a MF couples if they are not a couple but playmates/fuck buddies

Does it make a difference for one partnership to be friends as opposed to one involving love?"

It makes a difference to some people, not to others. I think it's usually couples that only meet other couples and all are in committed relationships and want to share the same.

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By *ristofskiTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I don't identify as a swinger, I just like having sex. I'm also polyamerous by nature, so I'm happy for partners I have to play with whoever they want. I've not picked someone up for a threesome with a partner though!

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Like I said in my previous response I get bored shagging one man...however I would want all parties to be comfortable...I'm happy to see partner with someone else..it's just sex there is no emotions involved unlike the relationship that we both would have...

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I didn't see the first thread so I may be saying something already covered.

I had a conversation with someone this week who feels that swing couples are legitimising their affairs and single people (like me) are lacking in self-respect. Yet the comment from this person on people who have affairs and singles meeting up in a bar of wherever was that "these things happen".

It got me thinking that perhaps labeling the activity, making it a hobby, is what others find difficult.

Within this inconsistent world it's like the Popular Judean Front and the Judean Popular Front - the _iew that singles can't be swingers varies.

If you want threesomes then a single of whatever gender will need to be found. Does that make us just the playthings of the swinging couples? The living breathing equivalent of a dildo? I hope not.

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By *e nicerWoman
over a year ago

Costa del Medway

"ive come across people who wont meet a MF couples if they are not a couple but playmates/fuck buddies

Does it make a difference for one partnership to be friends as opposed to one involving love?"

Good wuestion

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

If you want threesomes then a single of whatever gender will need to be found. Does that make us just the playthings of the swinging couples? The living breathing equivalent of a dildo? I hope not.

Good point - is a single shagging around if he meets another single but not if he meets a couple? ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyones situation is different, but me and my partner do feel better I think, knowing we had 13 years on the clock before we involved anyone else

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...

If you want threesomes then a single of whatever gender will need to be found. Does that make us just the playthings of the swinging couples? The living breathing equivalent of a dildo? I hope not.

Only if we allow ourselves to be used that way...?

Some couples treat singles that way and I avoid those.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"...

If you want threesomes then a single of whatever gender will need to be found. Does that make us just the playthings of the swinging couples? The living breathing equivalent of a dildo? I hope not.

Only if we allow ourselves to be used that way...?

Some couples treat singles that way and I avoid those."

I wouldn't allow myself to be treated like that. I was just positing the idea that singles can be swingers too. That is unless this strict line that we're not means the couples are using us and think of us as other.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...

If you want threesomes then a single of whatever gender will need to be found. Does that make us just the playthings of the swinging couples? The living breathing equivalent of a dildo? I hope not.

Only if we allow ourselves to be used that way...?

Some couples treat singles that way and I avoid those.

Probably some do. Some will understand though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This topic interests me...

I can kind of understand why some singles wouldn't want to swing if they found their life partner.

I wouldn't have wanted to swing with Luke when we first got together, we both enjoyed the early days of our relationship getting to know each other.

I suppose it may be different for someone who is already swinging before they enter into a relationship?

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

"ive come across people who wont meet a MF couples if they are not a couple but playmates/fuck buddies

Does it make a difference for one partnership to be friends as opposed to one involving love?"
i think it can do when you meet married couple you both know what each other like know their boundaries know what makes them tick a fb may not know all this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people have a romantic notion of what they hope a relationship will hold for them.

In reality nobody knows the direction a future relationship will take. Never in my wildest dreams would I have considered that one day I'd take part in swinging, orgies, naturism etc. etc.

So I find the assertions that singles wouldn't ever entertain swinging at best naive, and at worst uncomfortable that they'd choose to join a swinging community.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This topic interests me...

I can kind of understand why some singles wouldn't want to swing if they found their life partner.

I wouldn't have wanted to swing with Luke when we first got together, we both enjoyed the early days of our relationship getting to know each other.

I suppose it may be different for someone who is already swinging before they enter into a relationship?

Were you swingers before you met or was it something new you found together?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This topic interests me...

I can kind of understand why some singles wouldn't want to swing if they found their life partner.

I wouldn't have wanted to swing with Luke when we first got together, we both enjoyed the early days of our relationship getting to know each other.

I suppose it may be different for someone who is already swinging before they enter into a relationship?

Were you swingers before you met or was it something new you found together?"

It was something new that we entered into together

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

So I find the assertions that singles wouldn't ever entertain swinging at best naive, and at worst uncomfortable that they'd choose to join a swinging community."

Well, people are people, and the community of this site has grown beyond merely swinging - that is all I have joined, a site.

Not sure why you would be uncomfortable with a statement eg based on my understanding of my own personality rather than any comment or judgement regarding anyone else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This topic interests me...

I can kind of understand why some singles wouldn't want to swing if they found their life partner.

I wouldn't have wanted to swing with Luke when we first got together, we both enjoyed the early days of our relationship getting to know each other.

I suppose it may be different for someone who is already swinging before they enter into a relationship?

Were you swingers before you met or was it something new you found together?

It was something new that we entered into together "

I wonder if some people that say they wouldn't swing with a new partner have had bad experiences that put them off. Two people 'fresh' to it may be more open minded.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wonder if some of the attraction of swinging as a single is that you can stop at any time.

Swinging as part of a couple is totally different - if you wanted to give up but your partner wanted to carry on.... then what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder if some of the attraction of swinging as a single is that you can stop at any time.

Swinging as part of a couple is totally different - if you wanted to give up but your partner wanted to carry on.... then what?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me swinging is about giving not taking and receiving not controlling.

Having my partner enjoy herself through pleasures received from more than one man is wonderful to experience, but not separate room but shared same room.

Then the additional incredible feeling that she also enjoys me and wants to be with me when not swinging provides such a feeling of closeness. A truly honest, loving togetherness.

I feel swinging is not about sex but playing with friends, adding physical fun to a friendship in a shared, giving not taking way.

Not sure I'm making sense, just to add the fuck and forget that also seems to be on this 'swinging' site I find unappealing. That behaviour should have its own site as it does not meet what I would label 'swinging'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is interesting, as it relates directly to the thread I started last week, in which I was looking for a swinging partner. I want to try a swinging club, but don't want to go alone. But another reason for wanting to find a "club-buddy" is that I couldn't possibly go to a club with someone I was in a relationship with. I couldn't share them and I'm sure they wouldn't want to share me... I know it works for some people, but it wouldn't for me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both had single profiles on here and that is how we met.... I (mrs) was always of the mind that if I was in a relationship then that was it! And it was, we both deleted those profiles and concentrated on each other.

But now we have fantasies we want to experience together.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

After years of being happily single and very sexually active I have recently come to the conclusion that I would like a relationship. But the ideal for me would be with someone who is open to the swinging lifestyle and possibly even a bisexual man.

Or, the absolute dream, two bisexual men...

I would find it very hard to walk away from the swinging community, the social life and the friends I have made.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For me swinging is about giving not taking and receiving not controlling.

Having my partner enjoy herself through pleasures received from more than one man is wonderful to experience, but not separate room but shared same room.

Then the additional incredible feeling that she also enjoys me and wants to be with me when not swinging provides such a feeling of closeness. A truly honest, loving togetherness.

I feel swinging is not about sex but playing with friends, adding physical fun to a friendship in a shared, giving not taking way.

I like that everyone is different and wants different things. Some want friendship, some want fuck n go. Some want couple only swap 4somes, some want one on one, some want group sex...

As long as people are happy I think it's ALL good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its easier when two singles meet on here and become a couple. Especially if they are open minded and love the lifestyle anyway

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

"I wonder if some of the attraction of swinging as a single is that you can stop at any time.

Swinging as part of a couple is totally different - if you wanted to give up but your partner wanted to carry on.... then what?"
all hell breaks loose in my case ,if I got asked out by a guy from any of my work places i go to I wouldnt hesitate to give all this up x

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

"For me swinging is about giving not taking and receiving not controlling.

Having my partner enjoy herself through pleasures received from more than one man is wonderful to experience, but not separate room but shared same room.

Then the additional incredible feeling that she also enjoys me and wants to be with me when not swinging provides such a feeling of closeness. A truly honest, loving togetherness.

I feel swinging is not about sex but playing with friends, adding physical fun to a friendship in a shared, giving not taking way.

"
your making perfect sense to me as i was part of a cpl and I enjoyed the social side too the friendships ,so that prob why i cant do fuck n go x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I wonder if some of the attraction of swinging as a single is that you can stop at any time.

Swinging as part of a couple is totally different - if you wanted to give up but your partner wanted to carry on.... then what?"

Then it stops.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I find the assertions that singles wouldn't ever entertain swinging at best naive, and at worst uncomfortable that they'd choose to join a swinging community.

Well, people are people, and the community of this site has grown beyond merely swinging - that is all I have joined, a site.

Not sure why you would be uncomfortable with a statement eg based on my understanding of my own personality rather than any comment or judgement regarding anyone else."

I'm uncomfortable at the idea of being judged to be doing something that others consider beneath them/distasteful/whatever within a community in which I'd expect that people with such attitudes would avoid.

But as you correctly point out the user base of this site has moved away from swingers and more towards casual sex. Something I also enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've noticed quite a few people on here (mainly women) whose profiles say they are looking for a relationship, just one partner, the "one", etc... This seems somewhat at odds with what this site is about - I think they might be better off on a traditional dating site like POF?

JMHO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've noticed quite a few people on here (mainly women) whose profiles say they are looking for a relationship, just one partner, the "one", etc... This seems somewhat at odds with what this site is about - I think they might be better off on a traditional dating site like POF?

JMHO"

POF is a crap site , most of the guys on there lie about what they want.

At least here I know what guys want and I know I can be completely open and honest should my prince find me.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

JMHO"

POF is shit is full of head fucks who just like to play games and lie about what they want....why can't we look for relationships in every walk of life including fab...I'm not about to fall in love with the next bloke I open my legs too and can do NSA sex...I would like to meet a guy who knows everything about me including my fab life, I've told men out of the scene about fab and on occasions got called a slag and on the other occasions think I'm a easy shag...I'm not looking for a relationship I'm open to a relationship

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

if with a partner then no i wouldnt swing with others

however i would tell her that i am on these places after i got to know them a little bit

if they wasnt interested in swinging at all then i wouldnt swing at all not when your with someone as i would prefer to swing as a couple

but i would still login onto the sites just to talk to friends and keep in contact with them and thats why i would tell her about the sites i was on

got nothin to hide nothin to fear

as goes for meets and meetings to keep in contact then i would hope that she would come to meet my friends and have a great night out at the same time dosnt mean that we have to swing at all

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"if with a partner then no i wouldnt swing with others

however i would tell her that i am on these places after i got to know them a little bit

if they wasnt interested in swinging at all then i wouldnt swing at all not when your with someone as i would prefer to swing as a couple

but i would still login onto the sites just to talk to friends and keep in contact with them and thats why i would tell her about the sites i was on

got nothin to hide nothin to fear

as goes for meets and meetings to keep in contact then i would hope that she would come to meet my friends and have a great night out at the same time dosnt mean that we have to swing at all "

The keeping in touch and friendships may become more of a problem than having casual sex. It might be seen as keeping that door open in case you get an itch.

If swinging is more than just the sex, which I think it is, then you would still be swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I decided about ten years ago that I wasn't cut out for relationships. Over those ten years I've met some fantastic people (and a whole load of knackers!) Sometimes, it's easy to get really close to the people you enjoy spending time with, but I'm always aware, and need them to know, that it's never going to develop into anything other than what it is. Some of them moved on and eventually found loving relationships and I was happy for them. I like to see my friends happy. Me, I much prefer looking for the ones rather than the one.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I find this subject interesting and at the same time a lot of it makes me uncomfortable.

We've been together 18 years, married for 10. We started swinging 3/4 years ago mainly so D could experience her Bi side. As we've become more comfortable over time we have expanded our 'play activities'.

We are extremely loyal and love each other deeply, affairs previously were never considered it's just not us.

We do this because it's something we enjoy doing together, it is exciting and thrilling to share sexual experiences with others outside our relationship. The trust between us has grown much deeper than I ever thought it could when we got married. Swinging has definitely made out bond stronger.

I always feel 'D is offered the world yet always returns to us' and vice-versa.

It makes me very uncomfortable when people say 'if I loved someone I wouldn't swing' because that infers I don't love my wife and she me. Also we like to swing with people that 'get it' or at least don't judge others.

If you think to swing you have to have a defective or broken relationship in some way then I don't see how you can consider yourself a swinger in its truest form.

I'm not saying we wouldn't consider enjoying sex with someone who was here for casual sex. Just don't judge a couple you are playing with to have a broken relationship because of that.

There is no issue if one of us wanted to stop we'd simply stop. It's fun for 'us together' if it stops being fun then we stop. It's not something we need to do to save anything or replace something that's not there. It's just fun we share.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if with a partner then no i wouldnt swing with others

however i would tell her that i am on these places after i got to know them a little bit

if they wasnt interested in swinging at all then i wouldnt swing at all not when your with someone as i would prefer to swing as a couple

but i would still login onto the sites just to talk to friends and keep in contact with them and thats why i would tell her about the sites i was on

got nothin to hide nothin to fear

as goes for meets and meetings to keep in contact then i would hope that she would come to meet my friends and have a great night out at the same time dosnt mean that we have to swing at all

The keeping in touch and friendships may become more of a problem than having casual sex. It might be seen as keeping that door open in case you get an itch.

If swinging is more than just the sex, which I think it is, then you would still be swinging."

Licketysplits you are a wise woman! You have hit the nail on the head. I totally agree.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I find this subject interesting and at the same time a lot of it makes me uncomfortable.

We are extremely loyal and love each other deeply, affairs previously were never considered it's just not us.

I always feel 'D is offered the world yet always returns to us' and vice-versa.

If you think to swing you have to have a defective or broken relationship in some way then I don't see how you can consider yourself a swinger in its truest form.

I'm not saying we wouldn't consider enjoying sex with someone who was here for casual sex. Just don't judge a couple you are playing with to have a broken relationship because of that.

Lots of people on here don't consider themselves swingers, hence the question.

Some people may think a couple has a broken relationship to swing but many others will understand it can make a couple stronger. (Can... not always...)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find this subject interesting and at the same time a lot of it makes me uncomfortable.

We are extremely loyal and love each other deeply, affairs previously were never considered it's just not us.

I always feel 'D is offered the world yet always returns to us' and vice-versa.

If you think to swing you have to have a defective or broken relationship in some way then I don't see how you can consider yourself a swinger in its truest form.

I'm not saying we wouldn't consider enjoying sex with someone who was here for casual sex. Just don't judge a couple you are playing with to have a broken relationship because of that.

we have a winner!

Anyone who judges swingers as having a 'defective' relationship, In my opinion, has NEVER had the strong 100% open trusting relationship, that successful swingers enjoy. Or they just read the daily mail!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find this subject interesting and at the same time a lot of it makes me uncomfortable.

We are extremely loyal and love each other deeply, affairs previously were never considered it's just not us.

I always feel 'D is offered the world yet always returns to us' and vice-versa.

If you think to swing you have to have a defective or broken relationship in some way then I don't see how you can consider yourself a swinger in its truest form.

I'm not saying we wouldn't consider enjoying sex with someone who was here for casual sex. Just don't judge a couple you are playing with to have a broken relationship because of that.

we have a winner!

just because someone says they couldn't swing with someone they love doesn't mean they are inferring people who do aren't in love. No one has said that have they? Each relationship is different,some can do it some can't. I don't think couples who do aren't in love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone who judges swingers as having a 'defective' relationship, In my opinion, has NEVER had the strong 100% open trusting relationship, that successful swingers enjoy. "

I agree with this and I think it's perhaps very hard to understand if you haven't been in the position.

Not so long ago I'd have been disgusted at the idea of swinging too, or if not disgusted at least find it humorous, so I'm not surprised at people that wouldn't get it - but I am surprised if such people join a swinging community. And even Fab isn't so much a swinging community anymore it's still a weird place to end up if you don't like the idea of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just because someone says they couldn't swing with someone they love doesn't mean they are inferring people who do aren't in love."

I don't have any issue with this. My issue is with people that have prejudged the act of swinging by writing it off if they ever meet 'the one'. That suggests to me they look down on the activity.

As I said before I would have too once upon a time, but at that time I'd have never signed up to a swinging site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just because someone says they couldn't swing with someone they love doesn't mean they are inferring people who do aren't in love.

I don't have any issue with this. My issue is with people that have prejudged the act of swinging by writing it off if they ever meet 'the one'. That suggests to me they look down on the activity.

As I said before I would have too once upon a time, but at that time I'd have never signed up to a swinging site."

I wouldn't call it looking down on it. I wouldn't look down on anyone who does it,I just don't find it attractive to me with someone I have committed myself to. I like foresaking all others. I could have a relationship that was purely a sexual one and swing. My man I love I want to myself and only want to give myself to him. It might never happen again but it's how I like it

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford

Obviously there's a new site needed - fabsingles, for all those who like to shag around but legitimise it by calling themselves swingers.

We've never bought the "singles can't be swingers" line but many of the posts on this thread are changing our minds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obviously there's a new site needed - fabsingles, for all those who like to shag around but legitimise it by calling themselves swingers.

We've never bought the "singles can't be swingers" line but many of the posts on this thread are changing our minds.

There was a site called fabflirts , not sure it worked out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just because someone says they couldn't swing with someone they love doesn't mean they are inferring people who do aren't in love.

I don't have any issue with this. My issue is with people that have prejudged the act of swinging by writing it off if they ever meet 'the one'. That suggests to me they look down on the activity.

As I said before I would have too once upon a time, but at that time I'd have never signed up to a swinging site.

It's complex because at some stage most couples that swing didn't and probably never thought they would - and so obviously it's nothing against people making the judgement not to swing when in a committed relationship - that's 'normal' afterall.

But if you partake in swinging events, sign up to a swinging community etc. and all the while are thinking 'I'd never do it' - it's hard to see how that can be anything other than a negative judgement on those that do.

Obviousy if you partake in swinging as a single, meet somebody and that relationship takes you away from swinging there's nothing wrong with that too. But judging up front that you'd never do it - I think that has to be a negative judgement on swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just because someone says they couldn't swing with someone they love doesn't mean they are inferring people who do aren't in love.

I don't have any issue with this. My issue is with people that have prejudged the act of swinging by writing it off if they ever meet 'the one'. That suggests to me they look down on the activity.

As I said before I would have too once upon a time, but at that time I'd have never signed up to a swinging site.

Take my word for it,it's not a negative judgment from me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just because someone says they couldn't swing with someone they love doesn't mean they are inferring people who do aren't in love.

I don't have any issue with this. My issue is with people that have prejudged the act of swinging by writing it off if they ever meet 'the one'. That suggests to me they look down on the activity.

As I said before I would have too once upon a time, but at that time I'd have never signed up to a swinging site.

I don't think its being judgemental about others at all its just personal choice of how you want to conduct a relationship.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

For sure, but that 'idea' is yours, not mine!! You only have to read the forums to see that virtually every type of relationship and sex you can imagine is represented here, in every group, who is anyone to judge anyone else?

It's a bit childish if you ask me - each to their own for heavens sake, live and let live!! My choices are simply a reflection of my character and personality, I know it well enough by now to know what I want. When I love, I don't even look at other men let alone want them. Venus in Taurus, what can I say. You may be very different - fill yer boots!

I am not the slightest bit bi curious, have no desire to sleep with TV/TS, and so the only 'couple' I would have any interest in meanwhile is a couple of straight men!!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"just because someone says they couldn't swing with someone they love doesn't mean they are inferring people who do aren't in love.

I don't have any issue with this. My issue is with people that have prejudged the act of swinging by writing it off if they ever meet 'the one'. That suggests to me they look down on the activity.

As I said before I would have too once upon a time, but at that time I'd have never signed up to a swinging site.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"just because someone says they couldn't swing with someone they love doesn't mean they are inferring people who do aren't in love.

I don't have any issue with this. My issue is with people that have prejudged the act of swinging by writing it off if they ever meet 'the one'. That suggests to me they look down on the activity.

As I said before I would have too once upon a time, but at that time I'd have never signed up to a swinging site.

I don't think its being judgemental about others at all its just personal choice of how you want to conduct a relationship."

I agree. Someone on the first thread said she couldn't swing with a partner, but not because she thought swinging was bad. Just that she thought she wouldn't be able to cope with the emotional stuff. And I think that's a fair comment. It's nothing to do with other people, some people just can't do it for their own reasons.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Obviously there's a new site needed - fabsingles, for all those who like to shag around but legitimise it by calling themselves swingers.

We've never bought the "singles can't be swingers" line but many of the posts on this thread are changing our minds.

I don't understand. Couples shag around and it's called swinging. Singles can't do the same?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obviously there's a new site needed - fabsingles, for all those who like to shag around but legitimise it by calling themselves swingers.

We've never bought the "singles can't be swingers" line but many of the posts on this thread are changing our minds.

that is a seriously judgemental and detrimental remark to make. Why not look for a website solely for couples meeting couples. Your attitude is awful. I don't justify my sex life by calling myself a swinger. The label of swinger does not legitimise anything for anyone. I've probably had less partners than a lot of women in couples on here. I don't judge them for being more promiscuous than me and it doesn't legitimise it for them because their husbands watch or join in. Singles have friendships and relationships with their partners the same as couples. We aren't just shagging around

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I really couldn't give a fuck what I am called, or what others call themselves... I am here for sex, end of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is losing it's course I feel...

Who cares about attaching a label to whatever we do?

We are all on here for different reasons!

Whether we are a couple or a single

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

[Removed by poster at 08/06/14 14:42:15]

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Deleted previous post because I felt Sex on the Beach was right and I wasn't helping pushing the subject off topic a bit.

I realised it's not about who is and who isn't a swinger but rather wether a single person on here would actually take part in the swinging community and swing with a partner they were in a committed relationship with.

I'll shutup now.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

since this has come round again and certain posts have been reposted I am going to re add my contribution...

okay..... lets flip this round slightly... I have a curious question

so to those singles who would outright dismiss doing this with a partner....

would you tell them you were ever here in the first place? not just talking about at first... but ever?

because by reading some of the replies I think that answer would be no.....

if the answer is yes, how would you then deal with it if they were curious to find out more?

the great thing I love about the site is that for a lot of people, its more than just the sex.... there is a fantastic social side that goes along with it....

if you are here just purely for the sex... then isn't it in a way a "stopgap"...... and I think that is what ruffles feathers......

and that is what makes people feel uneasy... the "oh your good enough for now... but be damned when I find someone" feeling that some of these post interject...

especially when people say... right i am off.. found someone! and then slink back in if it doesn't work out.......

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By *ackandkateCouple
over a year ago

Truro

We stopped meeting other people over two years ago now. It was my decision to stop. I told Kate that I didn't want to do it anymore and she just said "Fine, ok".

I decided to stop for two reasons. Firstly, I'd satisfied the fantasies I had when we started, and secondly because I didn't think that as I passed mid fifties that I could still attract the ladies I wanted to meet, so thought I'd quit while I was still winning

If Kate told me that she wanted to start meeting people again I would certainly reconsider. I wouldn't want her to meet on her own though, just as I would never meet anyone on my own.

We're still members here because I like to contribute to the forums. I'm lurking most days, but I'm not a prolific poster these days.

We're still up for socials though so you might still see us knocking around.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Obviously there's a new site needed - fabsingles, for all those who like to shag around but legitimise it by calling themselves swingers.

We've never bought the "singles can't be swingers" line but many of the posts on this thread are changing our minds.

Yes, that is one of the most spiteful posts I have ever read, and hypocritical to the max. You could just as easily say that swingers were couples who liked to shag around. It is a derogatory term and even those who have made a decision to have casual sex longterm in preference to a relationship I am sure would not appreciate it, especially those facilitating that by meeting primarily swinging couples!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We stopped meeting other people over two years ago now. It was my decision to stop. I told Kate that I didn't want to do it anymore and she just said "Fine, ok".

If Kate told me that she wanted to start meeting people again I would certainly reconsider. I wouldn't want her to meet on her own though, just as I would never meet anyone on my own.

We're still members here because I like to contribute to the forums. I'm lurking most days, but I'm not a prolific poster these days.

We're still up for socials though so you might still see us knocking around.

We are in Truro next weekend, we are taking my daughter to have a look at the Uni. Can you recommend a pub for me to watch the England game in.

(Sorry to interrupt an interesting thread)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We d really like to hear from a single man what makes him a swinger if he would nt play with his own partner or wife ?

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"We d really like to hear from a single man what makes him a swinger if he would nt play with his own partner or wife ?"

The point you make also goes for single women also...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We d really like to hear from a single man what makes him a swinger if he would nt play with his own partner or wife ?"

Isn't that the same question that should be asked to single females and not just males?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My question for couples would be What happens when 1 partner wishes to stop meeting and the other dosnt???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question for couples would be What happens when 1 partner wishes to stop meeting and the other dosnt??? "

I can only answer for us, but we would both stop. We came into this together and to be honest don't actually meet very often so it wouldn't really be a big loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question for couples would be What happens when 1 partner wishes to stop meeting and the other dosnt???

I can only answer for us, but we would both stop. We came into this together and to be honest don't actually meet very often so it wouldn't really be a big loss. "

Same as SOTB.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"My question for couples would be What happens when 1 partner wishes to stop meeting and the other dosnt??? "

That's easy. This is something we do together for fun.

If it stops being fun for either of us then we stop.

The important point is it's fun. We don't need it and it's not there to 'fix' anything or forfill anyone's needs. It's just fun..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question for couples would be What happens when 1 partner wishes to stop meeting and the other dosnt???

I can only answer for us, but we would both stop. We came into this together and to be honest don't actually meet very often so it wouldn't really be a big loss. "
wonder if many couples have had to deal with that issue and come out the other side still as couple ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question for couples would be What happens when 1 partner wishes to stop meeting and the other dosnt???

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"My question for couples would be What happens when 1 partner wishes to stop meeting and the other dosnt???

I can only answer for us, but we would both stop. We came into this together and to be honest don't actually meet very often so it wouldn't really be a big loss. wonder if many couples have had to deal with that issue and come out the other side still as couple ? "

I would think probably quite a few. Mainly those that started for the wrong reasons in the first place.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"My question for couples would be What happens when 1 partner wishes to stop meeting and the other dosnt??? "

See Jacks post above....I am guessing the majority of couples would have the same answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question for couples would be What happens when 1 partner wishes to stop meeting and the other dosnt???

See Jacks post above....I am guessing the majority of couples would have the same answer.

"
. Yeah it was after reading Jacks post I wondered about it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question for couples would be What happens when 1 partner wishes to stop meeting and the other dosnt???

I guess that would depend on the couple and the reasons they started swinging in the first place?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"My question for couples would be What happens when 1 partner wishes to stop meeting and the other dosnt???

See Jacks post above....I am guessing the majority of couples would have the same answer.

. Yeah it was after reading Jacks post I wondered about it x "

The turn on for most is watching the OH enjoying themselves, so if one wanted to stop then it would be pointless carrying on....but if it was a problem stopping for one half of the relationship then I think that relationship is not as strong as they think anyway.

For some reason a lot of people seem to think that to swing you can't love the OH enough or you are being pushed into it....if that is your own ( not you personally ) mindset then swinging would never be for you.

It isn't for everybody, but I am suprised like another poster that those people ended up on a swinging site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyones situation is different, but me and my partner do feel better I think, knowing we had 13 years on the clock before we involved anyone else"

I think its great that you have had lots of happy years, with the two of you - and more to come as a couple here.

My experience is that after 19 years being married, never open to any suggestion of another - very anti - then he cheated on me - marriage over.

Will and I met at a forum social, and became a couple almost immediately - we knew we had feelings for each other. The couples we meet are fun, and sexy, and wonderful people - but they are to add some extra excitement, not replace what we have x

Sara x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My question for couples would be What happens when 1 partner wishes to stop meeting and the other dosnt???

See Jacks post above....I am guessing the majority of couples would have the same answer.

. Yeah it was after reading Jacks post I wondered about it x

It isn't for everybody, but I am suprised like another poster that those people ended up on a swinging site

yeah there dose seem to be a misconception regarding couple, as in there NOT in a loving fulfilled relationship and other such twaddle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really couldn't give a fuck what I am called, or what others call themselves... I am here for sex, end of.

You're called greedy! PMSL xxx

From another greedy one! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We d really like to hear from a single man what makes him a swinger if he would nt play with his own partner or wife ?

The point you make also goes for single women also...

"
not sure tbh very few single females on here looking to play without partners consent but we re open minded on this

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

I do not ever look down upon anyone that swings ,i was swinging long before fab was invented and la chambre ,but as my hubby left me for someone we met thru swinging how can I trust someone not to do the same,I came on here wanting to make new friends whether a cpl or a guy ,as I not want lots of strange men in my house I wanted to meet someone regular ,as the nsa bit to me means no relationship ,but it hasnt worked out like that ,I wanted the social side too not just the fuck and go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We d really like to hear from a single man what makes him a swinger if he would nt play with his own partner or wife ?

The point you make also goes for single women also...

not sure tbh very few single females on here looking to play without partners consent but we re open minded on this "

I think it's more the fems on here that are playing without consent tend to keep a lower profile , not all but I would say most.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"We d really like to hear from a single man what makes him a swinger if he would nt play with his own partner or wife ?

The point you make also goes for single women also...

not sure tbh very few single females on here looking to play without partners consent but we re open minded on this "

Well I've not got a partner and I know a fair few other single women that are single and have no partners

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"not sure tbh very few single females on here looking to play without partners consent but we re open minded on this "

I am sorry... this one made me choke on some perfectly good alcohol then........

maybe not as many as men playing away, but from my inbox there are a fair few women who do.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We d really like to hear from a single man what makes him a swinger if he would nt play with his own partner or wife ?

The point you make also goes for single women also...

My 2 pence worth. A swinger, by definition is two people in an established relationship. The term established relationship has been distorted and twisted to accomodate fb couples etc and enable them to adopt the term swingers. We enjoy the single element they really do enhance the ' lifestyle '. Long live the single 'swinger '. I do feel however that singles, particularly men, are now over represented and to a certain extent seem hell bent on dominating a lifestyle they are only an accessory to. Harsh but realistic I know. As for single fems, they really are not rare. There are many single bi fems out there just not on any given website. The term ' swingers ' would now appear to be any person looking for a free shag, affair or simply a ' can't get a shag so i'll have a crack at another persons partner'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We d really like to hear from a single man what makes him a swinger if he would nt play with his own partner or wife ?

The point you make also goes for single women also...

Not convinced that single males should be branded as an accessory and its not all just about getting a shag or shagging somebody elses wife.I feel there is a lot more to it,there is for me anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We d really like to hear from a single man what makes him a swinger if he would nt play with his own partner or wife ?

The point you make also goes for single women also...

Not convinced that single males should be branded as an accessory and its not all just about getting a shag or shagging somebody elses wife.I feel there is a lot more to it,there is for me anyway."

My appologies. From this day forward they shall be refered to as ' an alternative lifestyle engineer '

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"since this has come round again and certain posts have been reposted I am going to re add my contribution...